Too fat to go to job interview - lack of confidence

[singingpinkmonkey]

Hello,

Just hoping for a few words of encouragement as I have completely lost my bottle and am thinking of withdrawing from an interview for a fab new job.

Since having my baby a year ago, my weight has rocketed to 16 stone and I'm just stuck in a cycle of comfort eating and hating myself.

I have a job interview for a fantastic opportunity and I just can't get past the fact that I look like a mess.

I'm frustrated that I haven't sorted myself out and that I'm even thinking of cancelling my interview.

How can I pull myself out of this? If anyone has any suggestions for losing weight, in the longer term I would love to hear them.

I don't have any tips but I am in the same boat! Stuck in a rut at the moment. Please don't pull out of your job interview!! If you do it is admitting defeat and you will feel worse in the long run.
I know it sounds daft but I like to look for people that are the same size/build as me and see what they are wearing. I always think everyone else looks great and wish I had their confidence. When I'm out and about I imagine people are looking at me so I strut my stuff (in my head) and it makes me feel a bit better. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's better than thinking "I look a mess" etc.
Good luck with the interview!

Although it is hard and affecting your confidence please don’t focus on looks. I see lots of new starters and as we all are they come in all shapes and sizes...the inportant thing is that they have the qualifications for the job. An employer wants a good employee who can fulfill the role. Fake it till you make it and think skills and ability! Go girl..

Please don’t cancel your interview. I’m v big. I’m about a uk 24/26 at the moment the biggest I’ve ever been and I’m currently on the job hunt. I haven’t had any negative comments. They focus on your skills not your looks. So long as you’re clean and we’ll turned out that’s what your interviewer is looking for. Unless of course your dream career is exotic dancing then I may have misspoken.

That's good advice @PoppyBubbles.
I know I will regret it if I cancel and I know I can do the job and it would be an amazing opportunity.

It's such a shame as I never used yo be like this. I used to love interviews and talking to people.

It's gotten to the stage where I can't bear anyone seeing me at my current job so will avoid going into the communal kitchen as I don't want anyone to see me.

What date is the interview?

If you run now, you'll always run.

Ok, this is supposed to be encouraging and I really hope it comes across as such.
Last September I was 3 stone more than I weighed before I had my two children. I hated the sight of myself and would avoid looking in mirrors, not go into shop changing rooms etc. My children were 1and 2 (now 1and 3) and I felt I had no time for exercise and no willpower to change what I ate. Then I just decided to take control, I build 20 mins exercise into my daily routine x5 a week (the girls watch an episode of Paw Patrol whilst I do it!!) and I just started to eat sensibly.
I’ve lost 2.5 stone and feel so much better for it. You can do it, just decide that it matters to you and make it happen. I really wish you the best of luck and I hope I don’t sound too bloody sanctimonious!

You don't look like your old self but you can still look amazing. In the short term think of some plus size gorgeous people and be inspired. Your interviewers have never seen skinny-you, so just go in there, be bold, be beautiful. Then just lose the weight slowly. I went to weight watchers after having my babies and the weekly weigh-ins were major motivation to eat less. People were friendly and the talks were quite interesting. Bes of luck. X x

You have done amazingly well. Go to the interview get the job and watch the pounds melt away as your confidence increases (take in a healthy lunch and walk as much as possible especially through your lunch break).

What’s that saying.... fake it till you make it... I have put 2.5 stone on and I am starting a new course on Monday. I don’t want to go but I am going to force myself.

Good luck for the interview

Come on OP, you can do this! Decide what to wear, get your hair or nails done if that will make you feel better, stick a smile on your face and go and get that job.

You are NOT defined by your weight x

If it makes you feel any better I got my job when I was at least 2 stone heavier than you are now. Weight does not matter, it is your knowledge and confidence that does

Can you get a new outfit and have your hair and nails done before you go? For confidence cultivate a 'fake it til you make it' mindset. Now is the time for you to get this job and earn more money to invest in yourself. Go to the interview believing that you are entitled to this job.
I was telling a person who works in HR that I don't apply for jobs unless I have everything on the list of required skills and experience. She said that is fairly typical of women, whereas men will apply if they have just half the requirements because they feel naturally entitled to the job.
Best of luck!

I weigh the same as you. Would I like to be thinner? Yeah. Am I going out tonight in a tight dress that shows off my awesome curvy bum and boobs, leggings and sky high heels? Hell yeah
(Although perhaps don’t wear that outfit to a job interview )
It’s all about confidence. Honestly, it is.

I know how it feels to have your weight suddenly go up. A few years ago, I went from a size 10 to size 16 in the space of a year due to depression and comfort eating.

Please don’t cancel your interview - it sounds like an amazing opportunity for you, and could really help you with your confidence if you get the job. If you were unlucky and didn’t get the position, it would still be a huge boost I think to your confidence, knowing you’ve had some interview experience for the kind of role that you want.

Do you have the time or money to buy anything for yourself before your interview?

If so, treat yourself to a new outfit, or one new item that you can wear for your interview, or get your hair cut etc. Something to give you a little boost.

If not, wear your most flattering and comfortable underwear, and spend a bit longer on your hair and make up (if you wear it), as it’ll help make you feel better.

Do you have an outfit ready?

Are you a good fit for the new job? Do you think that the interviewers will think that you are less of a good option purely down to your size?
You KNOW that you can do this. The fake it until you make this comments are so true (I have recently been promoted and am doing this every day!), make sure that the people that interview you see you, the real you that is capable and good at her job. So, hair, nails, outfit anything makes you feel good, then go and show them what you can do.
You can tackle your weight afterwards should you wish, but don't miss out on a fab opportunity. Unless the job is for a Victoria's Secret model your weight is no barrier to your ability to do the job.

Thank you all so, so much for the comments. I do feel like I've had the boost I needed.

I feel like I sound so pathetic as I would never decline someone for a role due to their size, so why would anyone else (even exotic dancing 😜)

I think I'm going to get something new to wear and get my hair done. The interview is on Wednesday and I'm all prepared but just having a wobble.

I may be unhappy with myself but I need to think of more than my body shape.

X

Like you said you are having a bit of a wobble. You will be fine.

Interviewers are looking for different kinds of people - not everyone wants to hire the life and soul of the party. You have a lot to offer, it’s not easy getting an interview these days.

Get your hair done and remember to have something to eat otherwise your blood sugar level will drop, you won’t be able to concentrate.

Give it your best shot and let us know how you got on.

I’m one of those people who never looks right suited and booted. my bits are all in the wrong place.

To me interviewing and applying for jobs it really has been more about the person not what they look like.

Do tons of research on the company and go in and be yourself. Being enthusiastic means so much more than looks.

Good luck!

I interview people regularly, OP, and don't really judge on weight etc.

Do dress as smartly as you can, as those things always count.

Don't cancel the interview.

Good luck

Please don't bottle it!! If they're the type of employer who rejects you for being larger, you probably don't want to work there anyway.
I pulled out of applying for a job I really wanted as I'm big and the ad said they wanted somebody "energetic".
The job ended up going to a lady slightly bigger than me and I've kicked myself ever since.
Give it a go and good luck!

Good luck at the interview OP! I'm glad you decided to go.
New clothes that fit well are a good idea, and having hair done, just so you feel better about yourself.

I know where you're coming from - my weight ballooned after each of my children and I hated it and it made me so unhappy, yet I felt almost paralysed and unable to do anything about it.
I've lost 4 stone though since my last baby (he's 4 now) and managed to keep it off but it requires willpower every single day as I'm just not one of those people who can naturally control themselves.
I think the key is to find something that works for you, that you will be able to stick to. I think it's different for every person, like I couldn't do slimming world or something else that prescribes meals or recipes but it works for lots of others.

f you run now, you'll always run.

This with bells on !!!!

Op do not cancel this interview

I'm in exactly the same position as you and the responses on here have been nice for me to read.

I have an interview next week which I'm thrilled about. I've been st home 5 yrs with the children and now need this for many reasons. I have managed to loose 40 lbs and although still have a lot more to loose I feel better in myself. I weigh about the same as you now. Spend the next few days in control of your eating you'd be surprised how much better that will make you feel alone. If you put your life on hold until you loose weight you won't do anything. Trust me I'm talking from experience. When you start making positive changes in your life weight loss usually follows.
Go for it....... I am

Btw my confidence is in my boots. But I'm pushing myself way out my comfort zone cause right now my comfort zone is 4 walls. If I don't make the leap it's not going to happen x

Go get a new outfit, honestly they won't think uou look bad, they will be judging your skllls. they didn't know you slimmer and people don't focus on that at interviews. They focus on your personality and skills. God the interviewers might even be overweight. I've done interviewing, I couldn't give a shit what size someone was.

Not going for it will put you into a downward spiral. Stop hiding.snd good luck with the interview! Let us know how it goes.