Why am I fat?

[Witch25]

Well the simply answer is that I need to eat less and move more. Right, easy as that. Yet if it's that simple then why is there a million pound industry around weight loss?

Most people who have a significant amount of weight to lose and who have no medical conditions that cause them to gain weight have probably tried endless "diets" in the past. Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Low Carb, 5:2, etc, chances are they have tried them all. And they have probably lost weight on them. And as stats show, a high percentage gain all the weight and more back again within a year.

I think overeating is a mindset. It is a condition that affects certain people and it is something that has never even had an affect on others who have never had weight issues. People who are overweight eat to excess of "bad" foods. It is an addiction like drink or drugs. Overindulging must cause people to feel good/get a high at the time or else they wouldn't do it. Overweight people eat because they are sad, happy, bored, lonely, having a good time out with friends, eating a meal with a partner etc.

Through following posts on MN I have seen how fat people are hated on here. Let's not dress it up, most posts end up being taken down because it turns nasty and abusive. The attitude is "don't come whinging to me fatty, just stop shoving cake in your pie-hole". Society as a whole dislike people who are overweight and studies have shown that they are passed over for promotions at work, ignored in a group etc. And yet even though there is a palpable dislike for people who are overweight, we see obesity levels increasing in the UK.

TL:DR
So I was wondering if we could have a discussion around the mindset that causes people to be overweight and what can society do about this? Should GPs be offering CBT rather than Slimming World vouchers?

I think that now I ate through boredom and comfort. I enjoy food and have to stop myself eating when not hungry. Trying the wait 20 minutes tactic. It takes 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are not hungry after eating.
Sometimes works. Otherwise fruit for sugar.

I think that what people are missing is that you are hungry when your body is in a calorie deficit. I've lost 6 pounds but been hungry for most of the time. Many diets don't seem to mention this pretty obvious fact. So it is hard!
An injury, illness or meds can cause weight gain.

So it is difficult to sleep, less energy, difficult to concentrate. In my case light headed. Think people of a normal weight should try 1200 for 5 days a week and 500 for two to know whats like. For one week. I've done it for 6.

Should add that the BMI for many joint surgeries in the UK is 30 So for many women a size 16 to 18 Takes up to a year and a half to be diagnosed by which time, due to immobility, your weight will make you ineligible

I think capitalism can shoulder part of the blame. Supermarkets make more money out of us when we are 'treating' ourselves with crap or 'being good' with pseudo-health foods. So many people - particularly women - are on a binge/diet cycle that messes up our metabolisms and ultimately means we put on weight, which increases our appetites, we then buy more to maintain/restrict again. It's a vicious addictive cycle but who has the time/space to grow our own food anymore? Very few, because we're all so busy.

bluejelly

You talk as if people have zero agency over their food shopping choices. Part blaming ‘capitalism’ is just a massive cop out. Nobody is forcing people to buy and eat nutritionally poor calorie dense processed shit. Healthy eating is not expensive or indeed massively time consuming to prepare.

It's a way of coping with life,when you didn't learn other coping skills when younger its also a substitute for love ,for company ,to feel better after a shit day ,or to celebrate a good day.its difficult,because unlike smoking or drinking or drugs,you do actually need to eat ,so you can't just stop

marmite The reason why I recommend the Paul Mackenna way of eating is because you lose weight and you DON'T STARVE. I have kept off the 3 stone I aimed to do and I never starve.

It's how children should eat, and some do until they're forced to clear their plates.

Also you eat proper food, not diet food.

Sw is a shocker of a diet. And encouraging people to eat as much as a food as they possibly can because it is ‘free’ does nothing to help their over-eating.

I think getting a portion plate and no seconds will better and more quickly get people into good habits. Actually seeing what an actual healthy portion is can be a shock for most overweight people in my experience.

Dont change what youre eating, serve it on to a portion plate.

I come from a family of slim women. But
I have been overweight all my life.
I was 19 stone 2 years ago.
My family have no understanding of my lifelong struggle.
For them it is simple. They have a simple relationship with food.
They eat when hungry, they treat themselves when celebrating.
I on the other hand, have a complex relationship with food.
I use it as a reward, I use it as a punishment.
My relationship with food is complicated in comparison to theirs.

I have 2 dd's.
One is extremely fit and slim.
One is obese.
Both same upbringing, both fed same foods, both have different relationships with food.

Encouraging chewing slowly really enjoying and tasting the food, not standing up and throwing food down your throat, or in front of a screen. That's great for stopping overeating.

This is a really interesting discussion. Obesity levels are increasing in the UK for a lot of reasons that I won't go into right here.. (I'm a women's personal trainer btw). However on an individual level it can be a vicious circle, if you end up a bit overweight for whatever reason it is a slippery slope to then eat for comfort, which then leads to further weight gain and before you know it you're very overweight. The ageing process also plays a part in terms of metabolism slowing down etc. Nobody really wants to be overweight but at times they feel powerless to stop it - which makes them even more depressed and more prone to comfort eating. Yes I think that focusing more on the psychological aspects would be of more use to many people. A lot of it also is habit-based. You get into the habit of eating certain things/amounts and habits are hard to break - even when you know they're not good for you. I try to help my clients with gaining the confidence to know that they can change their habits as well as the physical weight loss (through nutrition and exercise). I also think some people are more genetically predisposed to putting on weight, in the same way that some people also find it difficult to gain weight.

the ridiculous part is, i’m a recovering alcoholic. i destroyed my life completely, and then one day, after an awful blackout and withdrawal, i just didn’t pick up a drink again. 4 years sober in April.

it was really, really hard at the start. now, it’s just a thing. i don’t drink. but where is my willpower and determination when it comes to food?

i drank from age 8 to age 41. stopping was my only option other than death, in the end. intellectually, i understand why i’m fat. but, i can’t put it in a box and pile loads of tools on top of it, like i did with booze.

ugh. life is HARD!

and, i use, too many, commas, yeah?

I was 3 stone overweight as I love food. & didn't exercise enough. I have cravings for stuff such as roasted salted cashew nuts. I see a bar of chocolate as a treat after a long day. I know very well I'm not going to eat less, but I can change the way I eat.

I've lost just over a stone by giving up rice potatoes pasta white flour. I'm not a big meat eater only poultry, but have that just once a fortnight now.

I still have my cashew nuts, but small bag once or twice a week. Chocolate just sometimes. I eat little and often, no fill plates of food. Im looking for a lower carb sugar free cake recipe (if such a thing exists) as I know I've a sweet tooth to curb. & I still like cake. I've a mini trampoline & weights at home, I use them in 10 minute stints 2-3 times daily. I walk more.

I'm a size 14. Don't mind going down to size 12 but not below as I don't look so nice when too thin. I won't worry about a few pounds overweight and don't want to become miserable about food so this is the extent of it for me re food/exercise regime for life.

I gained 3 stone by being idle. I could tell you about all the healthy food habits and great fitness routines, but I didn't follow them. I'll probably fall off the wagon in that respect again but not to the extent I did before.

I think a lot of us are in denial about reasons for getting fat. Like most people I have stresses in my life. But Im not going to say 'emotional' is a cause as in my stress I still controlled other factors in life. Just, not my food intake. I gained weight via being too greedy about food, too lazy to exercise. It is what it is. I'm in my 50s now want to be up on my feet as long as I can so that's that..I have to try.

DCs grown up now but the hardest time re food was when cooking for the family. The temptation to overeat was too great then. I'm finding it easier now as I'm just doing for me. Its harder for those who also have others to take into account.

ExWife well done you. I don't drink as it makes me ill and gave up about 6 years ago but that's not at all the same.

Kristabelle and exWife This is an interesting discussion. As I have posted I do the Paula Mackenna way of eating but as I get older I notice that if I eat late it's goes straight on my belly! So I just STOP eating after 7.30 at night (i'll have a hot drink if I feel hungry later but I don't usually).

The fact I've got a time to remember helps. I then wait (though I always have a camomile tea and a filtered water to sip in the night or whenever) till I feel hungry in the morning which isn't that early about 9 or 10 ish. I often do stretches and a bit of dancing before then too. That helps me keep in control of my weight!

Oh I don't weigh myself I go my clothes and the mirror!

Personally I have gained weight because I'm a lot less active than I used to be. I was a size 10 and very toned with a lot of muscle until I was 26. I ate whatever I wanted but had a physically very demanding job so I never really learned what my eating limits were because I could eat anything. I would be doing physically demanding work for at least 8 hours a day and on my days off and after work I had 3 horses that I would need to look after and ride, I never stopped. My job is now much more sedentary and I don't exercise as a hobby like I used to. I am now very lazy compared the how I used to be but still have a very big appetite. Slimming world has worked for me because I can still eat a lot. I don't feel that my issues are psychological, I'm just lazy now and have a very different lifestyle.

Everyone is different i found emotional eating was my thing or stress, stressed out eat lots of crap and then you’re sluggish because of eating crap can’t be bothered to exercise etc it’s a vicious circle.

I found C25K helped me hugely but due to a number of factors I gave up running, the weight crept back on.

I tried all kinds of diets, and nothing worked for me.

I cut my calorie intake but still ate pretty much what I wanted and found once I was in a routine with C25K my eating habits became better as my body just seemed to crave what was right.

I lost inches and pounds

I focused on the fact I felt better and healthier and stopped being a slave to to scale.

The eye opening thing for me was buying holiday clothes I started C25K at a size 26 and I hugged and puffed like a hug fat old steam train but I carried on and then loved running and done park runs and completed race for life. When I went shopping I picked up my normal stretchy minging clothes 26 too big 24 too big 22 too big 20 too big 18 fitted and that was all within 16 weeks.

You need to find something that works for you just because slimming world works for your friend doesn’t mean it works for you

The reasons are complex and varied, lots of pseudo science about as well (not on this thread though)

I am always surprised how people fear being hungry, needing a snack at many times through the day (and equally the trend to feed kids snacks as soon as they are hungry)

Being a bit hungry between meals is... normal. It is not a horrible feeling that needs to be remedied straight away, feeling hungry occasionally is just part of life, or well, it used to be

There is a culture of constant snacking now, that is bad for teeth as well as waistlines!

We are told (by the NHS, dieticians etc) to make small changes, alter our daily habits, and be happy with a couple of pounds a month ... in reality, who does this? We all want quick fixes, that's how life is nowadays.

At the grand old age of 45 I've done just that ... and by Jove it's worked! I've averaged about half a pound a week, now if I were at slimming world I'd be gutted at such a 'pathetic' loss! I'd be getting sympathetic head tilts from my peers and would never win that Bastard basket of fruit!! But ... nearly 18mths later, I'm actually five stone down.

"
Being a bit hungry between meals is... normal. It is not a horrible feeling that needs to be remedied straight away, feeling hungry occasionally is just part of life, or well, it used to be"

This is a society thing as well though. I've noticed that some people think you should be embarrassed by tummy rumbles, as if you've farted or something. That's the main reason why i don't want to find myself hungry during the working day.
I've been reading about the 5:2 and how it can help you not panic when you feel hungry. Not sure how I'd deal with the rumbles though.

Fabulously - the problem is that if you I was only losing half a pound, I'd think it was just water or something. It would be very difficult to feel that you're actually doing something.