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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

I just feel so sad today.
27

wowl · 27/08/2017 19:44

Can't even be bothered to name change even though I'm so fucking ashamed of myself.

I'm just disgusting. Huge and disgusting. I've been "trying" to lose weight for 2 years but never manage to keep going. I'm pathetic.

I don't know what to do. Support networks/accountability make me self sabotage as I feel under pressure. When I go it alone I just run out of steam.

I'm just so fed up of this I could cry. I am disgusting. I know I need to just get on with it but I just can't seem to do it and I'm so fed up of myself. I'm a bloody disgrace Sad

I don't even know what my point is. I just needed to put this somewhere.

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timeforabrewnow · 27/08/2017 20:27

Flowers

Don't be so hard on yourself - it is bloody hard to lose weight, especially if you have other problems in your life.

I don't have any specific advice, but wanted to say that you are not pathetic and you can do it.

It took me COUNTLESS times to give up smoking, but I did it in the end and haven't had a cigarette in 18 years. Keep trying.... and you will do it.

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Peaceandl0ve · 27/08/2017 20:34

Firstly, well done for posting, that must take guts, secondly it means you are feeling pretty desperate. I have been where you are, as hard as it sounds, now is the time for you to make thebrave decision to take back control, you have it within you......
And the whole of mumsnet is with you.....

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chips4teaplease · 27/08/2017 20:40

Flowers
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PosiePootlePerkins · 27/08/2017 20:45

Don't be ashamed of yourself. I have had the thoughts you are having and I understand where you are doming from. You are normal. Please have a look at this website
http://www.nosdiet.com/
It has helped me end years of yoyo dieting and self loathing. Its not a diet in the traditional sense, its all about forming a healthy relationship with food and learning to eat with moderation. I promise it can help you if you give it a chance.
We also have a friendly supportive thread running on here if you want to join us.

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IndianaMoleWoman · 27/08/2017 20:46

It's a cliche but you haven't failed until you stop trying. You've been trying for two years - well done!

May I ask what weight loss methods you have tried?

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PosiePootlePerkins · 27/08/2017 20:46

doming - comingBlush

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LadyintheRadiator · 27/08/2017 20:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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PurpleWithRed · 27/08/2017 20:49

In my limited experience, some people with long-term or significant weight problems have a dysfunctional relationship with food - not something as simple as can't resist a lovely packet of crisps but a much deeper problem. If you feel this may be you then you might want to explore talking therapies/cbt/hypnotherapy/that sort of thing? Have you seen your GP?

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wowl · 28/08/2017 07:48

Thank you all for replying. I went to bed early last night so I could stop thinking about it all.

I've tried many things. 5:2 worked great but isn't compatible with my life right now. I don't do well with anything in groups as I said so no SW/WW. Calorie counting with a focus on low carb absolutely works - but after a few weeks it's like it peters out, a careless day here and there turns into a careless week and then I'm back where I started. I have all the good intentions but apparently can't sustain willpower :(

There are definitely background issues, but not ones I can do anything about. I know the reasons why I eat crap, and too much of it, but knowing doesn't make it go away if that makes sense? So I just kind of acknowledge it and decide to do something different. It's the keeping going that I can't seem to do.

Had a bad weekend as we were away with friends and came home feeling huge which is what got to me last night. I just need to dust myself off and keep going. Which I will, then the usual cycle will repeat itself.

Thank you for all your kind words Flowers they are appreciated.

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daisydalrymple · 28/08/2017 08:02

Do you write down goals for yourself? E.g. Why do you want to lose weight? To be healthy / to look better in my clothes / to feel better about myself etc.

It might help if you write out a list of what you dislike about being your weight, then use it to write a separate more positive list of what you will like about being your goal weight. Drawing on the opposites. Then get rid of the negative list and focus on the positives.

Also, small achievable goals. The reason WW/SW type places can work for some people is they're just one week at a time.

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wowl · 28/08/2017 08:10

I've done that a few times before, and it makes me feel under pressure and actually makes me fail quicker. It makes me so cross with myself. The times I've lasted longest have been when I put zero pressure on myself, zero goals, and try to just get on with it. But even though that lasts longer than other ways it still seems to end at some point.

I guess I just need to concentrate on dusting myself off and keep plodding on. I'll be business soon (finally going back to work after DC) so I'm hoping that will help.

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wowl · 28/08/2017 08:13

*busier soon

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MumBod · 28/08/2017 08:18

Maybe try the Paul McKenna method?

It's about tackling the underlying reasons for overeating. There's an app.

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wowl · 28/08/2017 08:31

Yes, I've looked into Paul McKenna before. That might well help. Will download the app Smile

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Stargirl82 · 28/08/2017 08:49

I feel the same. Saw some pictures of myself recently and I am disgusted with the way I look. My belly is the main thing and thighs. My arms look huge. Not so bothered about my bum. I need to loose weight and fast. Nothing fits. I cannot afford to buy another size up. I've gave up cigs before December and since then I've rewarded myself with food rather than a cig. I used to get half way through the evening and have a cig. Now it's a pudding or a chocolate bar or 6 biscuits. Totally feel the same Flowers

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DelphiniumBlue · 28/08/2017 08:55

First of all, you're not disgusting, so sad you think of yourself like that.
I've always struggled with weight, also smoking, so I know how will power is such as difficult thing.
With hindsight, I would say the best and easiest thing is to make a target, and then don't allow any exceptions. So if its someone s birthday, you can just refuse the cake. If you're eating out, you still don't need chips or pudding just because you're in a restaurant. If your target is no cakes or sweets, for example, you just don't have them at all. As soon as you start making unplanned exceptions, you open the door to doing it all the time.

This is a counsel of perfection, it worked for me, but sadly I started making exceptions when I had a newborn baby ( lack of sleep,home all day, needed to keep strength for breastfeeding) and never really got a handle on it after that.
But it does work.
I think willpower is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets.

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MumBod · 28/08/2017 09:12

I'm doing it at the moment, OP, and I lost 2lb last week, so it seems to be working.

It's such a battle, isn't it?

Good luck Flowers

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Rhubarbginisnotasin · 28/08/2017 09:17

Op, a very scary diagnosis of high blood pressure means that Im now at last tacking my weight and all Im doing is leaving half of whats on my plate. Ok, so I dont have unhealthy food but I think people can forget at times there's also such a thing as too much healthy food.

In the past Ive tackled weight loss like an expedition up Everest. Ive had lists, plans, theories, certain diets, you name it and Ive done it. This time however Im just approaching it with a very casual attitude and I find Im under no pressure at all. Its working.

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Rhubarbginisnotasin · 28/08/2017 09:19

Ive just realised that what I'm doing is very similar to the nosdiet mentioned further up.

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Pancakeflipper · 28/08/2017 09:28

Will power is a bugger.
Not heard of the nosdiet - my issue with food isn't such much the weight but my relationship with it. Eat great then every so often total binge.
Don't overwhelm yourself OP. I've found having exercise in my life helps me psychology.

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Rhubarbginisnotasin · 28/08/2017 10:03

Not heard of the nosdiet - my issue with food isn't such much the weight but my relationship with it. Eat great then every so often total binge

That could be me. I eat really well. In fact the hospital dietician said to me you have such a good diet I dont actually know where to start with you - so what else is it you're doing? And thats when I had to tell her about sitting in the evenings on my own and having a couple of glasses of wine, a bowl of cornflakes, tea and biscuits etc. But it then made me think of why I eat so healthily and its because I dont want to be the stereotypical fat person who eats rubbish in the form of burgers and what not. You know, the kinds of foods fat people are generally supposed to wolf down by the shovel full.

It never ceases to amaze me the kind of mind games we play on ourselves in order to not face the truth.

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PosiePootlePerkins · 29/08/2017 06:55

NoS can definitely help with binge eating. I would recommend that you have a look at the link upthread which gives you an overview. There's a book you can buy for more detail but you don't have to, otherwise no financial outlay at all.

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millifiori · 29/08/2017 13:05

First, you're not disgusting. Really you're not. But if you feel you are, it really will sabotage you. It's easier to take good care of ourselves if we like ourselves.

Could you, instead of trying to lose weight focus instead on being nice to yourself? (Talking to myself as much as you here. My diets last hours not days,)

IN fact, I'm going to start a thread on this, because I too have come back from holidays (all the excuses - I'm on holiday/having a treat etc) fatter than ever before, and all photos are of me in blobby tee-shirts. I know I need to lose a lot of weight now. A lot. But also know that diets aren't the right mental set up. Fancy having a go at weight loss by being nice to ourselves? Please join the thread Wowl.

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Triplecookedkimchi · 29/08/2017 13:11

Flowers op, I've been there.

I've tried all the diets over the years - SW, WW, low carb high fat, calorie counting, 5:2. All worked - as any diet will provided you stick to it - but none ever stopped me wanting to stuff my face and, inevitably, doing so.

Then I started thinking of all the slim people I knew - people who had never been overweight - and I realised that they never dieted. They never gave a thought regarding how many calories in a banana or how many g of carbs per day. They just ate according to their appetites. They didn't deny themselves. Yet they were still slim.

I then read a book called "have your cake and your skinny jeans too" and it honestly changed my life. I lost 4 stone (slowly and steadily) and 3 years and 1 baby later I've kept it off.

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MumBod · 30/08/2017 16:15

Triplecookedkimchi

Just wanted to say thank you. I downloaded that book onto my kindle app yesterday and read it almost in one sitting. It's brilliant.

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