If you were very overweight, how did you start with weight loss?

[teacupnic]

I'm currently more than 18 stone and am aware that I really don't want to be. Sick of shopping in the fat shops and feeling simply like I don't fit in. I read all the stories about how awful fat people are and hate myself for it. I do worry about my health although don't have any health problems at the moment. I don't necessarily think being fat is always unhealthy but I know that I am very unfit.

Trouble is, I just don't know where to start. I have been fat as long as I can remember. Most of my childhood and all my adult life. My parents were fat too. I have major issues with food psychologically and lived with an extremely narcissistic mother who used food as a weapon. Lately my partner has been mentioning the fact we could both do with losing some weight - any comments regarding me having to 'do without' something provokes extreme fear in me. I feel like someone is taking away my best friend if I'm told I can't eat a certain food. I know this is ridiculous but it's how I feel.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want weight loss surgery and don't want to try one of the things like Lighter Life. I hear all sorts of things about intermittent fasting, Slimming World, low carb etc but all of them seem completely frightening to me. And my partner just doesn't understand. He thinks it's easy. He has no emotional ties to food or his weight.

I have been trying to go on walks and doing wii fit (I know the latter probably makes little difference, but it's the least scary thing I can think of) however, I know food is the main problem.

Sorry this is so long but I am starting to feel a bit down about not knowing the best thing to do. I wonder if anyone else has any tips or ideas to get me started. Thank you for reading anyway

I haven't ever been very very overweight but I have had weight to lose in the past (3 stone)

I love food and eating and I am a firm believer that you'll only lose weight when you hit that brick wall and know that's what you want. You suddenly realise you want to be slim and healthy more than you want to eat crap. I'm not all saying it's easy to stop that's what I'm saying you really need to want it.

Only you will know when you get to this point, judging by your post I'm not sure you're quite there yet but perhaps talking to a counsellor may help sort out your attachment to food?

I wrote down everything I ate and drank on a spreadsheet. Seeing it all laid down like that helped me see where the excess was and what to do about it. It was often a useful tool to stop me from eating as I'd have to declare it! It's useful if it's a shared document and have a friend who wants to do the same thing as you can look at each other's docs and spur each other on. I added in an exercise column when I felt up to it.

I've lost weight lots of ways over the years - meal replacements, ww, etc. However, it sounds like for you the emotional side of it is far far more important than the actual diet, so I'd recommend you visit the GP and find out if any counselling services are available in your area. If not, you could always try reading the Beck Diet Solution which is a diet CBT book, which addresses issues such as fear of being hungry. Good luck, you can overcome this!

I didn't want to read and run. I've just started on my own weight loss journey after having DD2. the situations you have described about the issue being with food maybe sounds like something like slimming world could help as it is a support group and everybody is going through the same thing. I was due to start slimming world on Wednesday but I think I'll see how well I do myself first.

for me personally, I find writing every single little thing I eat down very effective, in my mind a biscuit, or a few leftovers from dd1s plate is nothing, but I've started writing every little morsel down and it's quite eye opening. I've just been changing little things though, such as today, for breakfast, instead of 105 cals for a low fat asda yoghurt, I had 50g fat free natural yoghurt, 50g raspberries and a teaspoon of sweetner for 53cals. so now I've swapped that yoghurt for something tastier and more filling for less calories, ill stick with it until I get sick, then maybe swap to blueberries, or strawberries etc.
We can buddy up if you think it'd help? share weight loss every week? motivation and tips? I was going to start a thread looking for a weight journey buddy, for moral support if anything else?

I plucked up courage and went to Slimming World. Everyone is really friendly and encouraging. It set me in the right direction, and as everyone is trying to loose weight, no one judges you. There is a lot of support.

If you don't want to go to a group, then there's online sites. weightwatchers does one online, and Tesco also.

Start by doing simple things. Go for half an hour walk( or start with 10 minutes and build up), every 2-3 days.

Write down everything you eat and see if there's a pattern. Swop fatty chips for low fat chips. Use passata with herbs and chopped onions instead of pasta sauces (often sugar laden). Cereals are also full of sugar.

Buy the best quality fruit you can afford - you are more likely to eat it.

Avoid diet yogurts - fat free but full of sugar. Eat natural yoghurt or Greek yoghurt instead.

Moderate alcohol - weekends only is a good policy.

If you like chocolate, buy 70% and jsut have a small piece.

Sometimes I do 5:2 in reverse - try to eat healthily during week days, and relax slightly ( ie alcohol, chocolate) during the weekend.

Loosing weight is not a race - take small, simple steps and you'lol be amazed how you do.

Have you considered hypnosis? I know a lot of people have had great success with the virtual gastric band app, which focuses more on eating what you want but stopping when you are full.

They also do an overcoming emotional eating hypnosis, which might be of help to you as well.

Hi Tea, at my biggest i was nearly 16st and at 5ft 5 thats a lot!
I have tried everything inc cambridge and exante - vlcd shakes - dont do that trust me you would rather be fat!!! Slimming world, starvation, crisps, coffee and fags diet - you name it - all with some initial limited success. In that time i went from 11st to 15st - dieting def made me fat.

The only diet that works is something you can keep up long term - it has taken me nearly a year to loose 2.5st (3 dress sizes) and i still have 4 st to go but honestly would be over joyed with 2st. Which admittedly sounds rubbish but it has been easy and not taken all of my focus and determination - i have done that whilst getting on with life (and babies, job etc).

I do high fat low carb and i love it. There is a thread on here -low carb bootcamp and there are bootcamps which last 10 weeks at a time - this one is nearly over but next one starts in May. I consider it a way of life not a diet as i will low (er) carb for the rest of my life. I also continue -ish between bootcamps but this year i will stay with it. Now i am loosing weight i have also started exercising and that is making me feel amazing - just gentle swimming and 1 class a week so far.

The first step is wanting to sort it out, so well done for doing that bit. There is loads of info on here and there are great books and online resources inc the dietdoctor website and Gary Taubes - the diet delusion - why we get fat. There is a great youtube vid called "butter makes your pants fall off" thats worth a look and explains the science behind HFLC.

My hubby started this year at the end of Jan with me and has lost 1st ish.

I love the food, the fact that i am not starving all the time and i dont count calories (boring) and the fact it makes me less obsessed about food i have some food issues.

Wishing you the very best, with whatever you do. Good luck, its not easy however you do it but so so worth it!

I've lost a lot of weight. I started by walking and cutting out evening snacks. That was usually when I went for a walk. Those boredom hunger pangs always struck when the dc had gone to bed so once I'd decided I stuck my trainers on and went for a walk.

That helped a lot. When it got darker in the evenings I brought a second hand exercise bike and would get on that with my iPod on. If you're not that bothered by music audio books are good. Helps pass the time.

I did join slimming world but the new extra easy plan didn't work fast enough for me even when upped to half super free half syn free. My weight loss like that was 1/2 -1 lb a week and as I had 10 stone to lose that wasn't encouraging.

I've cut out white carbs like bread, pasta and have limited wholewheat carbs. I rarely eat bread now.

Meal planning and not buying junky snacks. Although I appreciate if your partner isn't on board that could be difficult.

I can't eat most fruit or tomatoes if the seeds are in it (so can eat passatta in spag Bol etc but couldn't eat a whole tomato) so found it difficult to satisfy my sweet tooth so would allow myself a snack size chocolate every day. I brought a pack of mixed party bag chocolates and would choose one on an evening. I admit I had many moments of weakness and ate half a packet of biscuits or went to mcds with the dc and ate too much.

Anyway the short answer for me is exercise. No expensive gyms just walking. Download couch to 5k app and use that. I now run most days and do swim at least twice a week and go to the gym but have built up to that.

Hello. I joined slimming world 6 weeks ago at 18st 2lbs, I am now 17st 1.5lbs. Like you, I have been overweight all my life and use food as a source of comfort. I am finding it very hard at the minute to say 'no' to crisps, cakes etc, but do you know what? It is a lot easier to say 'no' now than it was 6 weeks ago. Apparently it takes 21 days to break a habit, and I promise it does become less frightening.

If you want to join a weight loss club, there will certainly be nobody there judging you. After all, everybody is there for the same reason. I know it's very scary but your weight is kept private, it is just between you and the consultant/leader and their helpers. They will give you encouragement and motivation. I also find pintrest is great for keeping me motivated.

If you feel confident enough, talk to your gp about helping you with your emotional issues. I don't feel ready to do that yet, but if I could I would do it in a shot.

I'm wishing you all the best, I know it's a horrible place to be at but I promise you can do it! Baby steps to start with :)

I've lost 2 stone of a 4-6 stone journey since January 5th. First time ever after years of varied dieting attempts (sw, ww, slim fast, egg diet) that I've achieved anything.

I have

Been using my fitness pal religiously, never lying, even if I'm going over
Set my calorie allowance to somewhere between my bmr and tdee (Google)
Reduced calorie allowance every half stone.
Don't record/eat any calories burned through exercise unless significant
Make as many attempts at exercise as possible (stairs not lift, dance with kids, walk around when on phone)
Not forbidden any foods so don't get cravings
Reduced my 'added sugar' by making better food choices
Not called it a diet, this is a lifestyle change and I'm teaching myself how to eat properly for the rest of my life - learning correct portion sizes etc

If you want there is a thread I'm on called 52 in 52, I can link it, could do with more people!

I have been overweight for years. Last year I finally reached a point, where I could not let it get any worse. Since June I have used Myfitnesspal to count my calories. So far I have lost 3stone 9lbs. The thing I liked about it, was being able to "spend" my calories as I wished. I love cappaccino for breakfast each day. This leave me with less calories for lunch, but is worth it for me. If I want a treat, I can have it, but recognise that I will have to eat less later. You learn to eat better, because you find some treats are not worth being hungry later!
It takes away that "forbidden" food problem, that can be so hard.

One of the most important steps to actually get to a healthy weight and stay there is to record EXACTLY what you are eating now, so that you understand what your intake genuinely comprises.

It would also be worth you keeping a mood / food diary so that you can understand what triggers you to inhale a packet of biscuits.

These forums are a fantastic resource because there is always somebody awake who can help keep you motivated / on track / be a shoulder to lean on.

Good luck.

Thank you so much for the replies. It's given me a lot to think about and some ideas of where to get started. Writing it down has made things a little clearer and is helping me to at least identify where I'm going wrong.

Yes, I have some major psychological issues with food. I was in therapy (i'm actually training as a psychotherapist funnily enough) but have had a break from it all after having my son 8 months ago. I do think I need to tackle these but they up until now have been the bottom of the pile of things to talk about. I think I will go back soon and maybe focus on this in my therapy.

However, I don't want to use this as an 'excuse'. I think I am a bit in denial about how much I eat. I have cut back recently on snacks, and I don't drink sugary drinks, or have very much alcohol. I also don't do takeaways, fast food or ready meals so in this sense, I can be a bit more in control of what I eat.

But, I think I can pinpoint where I am going wrong. Firstly, I don't always eat the right things. By right things I mean I think what I have can be a bit carb heavy. I also eat quite bit portions I think. However, I genuinely feel hungry (whether this is entirely physical I am unsure). I also tend to pick/snack when I'm bored, or comfort eat when I'm sad or lonely.

I do think that I need to take baby steps, as I do find it so scary and the way my DH framed things, it seemed as though it was all going to be denying everything, straightaway.

So, I'm trying to think of what I can do now that I don't find too overwhelming. I can continue cutting down snacks, if they are not in the house, I can't eat them. I also will drink more water, to ensure it's not thirst I'm feeling. I also want to keep on walking.

Next week, big step, but will try and start a food diary. I guess once I know what I'm eating I can pinpoint the problems and maybe work out solutions.

Good luck Tea - i saw this lovely saying which sums it up nicely

Losing weight is hard, being fat in hard - pick your hard!

Being honest about what you eat, when and why can only be a good thing. Good luck with all the walking and drinking water. Be good to yourself your baby is still young and that can be very draining - i used to use food to pep me up as i was sooo knackered.

I now eat off of a side plate as i had a prob with portion control i used to serve myself the same size as 6ft hubby. Its surprising that a much smaller amount would still fill me up, took a while to adjust however.

I used to eat low fat but very healthily - cooked from scratch, loads of veg etc but low fat never cut it for me as i was always hungry soon after and used to buy rubbish to munch on! I ate well but far too much.

Sending best wishes

It sounds to me like you are ready to take the next step into the unknown - even if that seems scary!

One of the key issues with 'dieting' is that it's so strongly associated with deprivation. And that can be very frightening.

Conventional wisdom says that if you need to lose weight then you must

a) eat less
b) eat fewer calories
c) cut down on fat

But if you do this, it's a sure fire guarantee that you will feel deprived, and you will feel hungry - and therefore the only way you will succeed is by bringing into play some serious will power.

I would suggest that you should consider low carbing. It has the great advantage of enabling you to eat more calories and more satisfying food. You will focus on eating high fat and medium protein, which will keep you feeling full for longer. And, once you kickstart your body into fat-burning rather than carb-burning, one of the major advantages of low carbing is that it acts as an appetite suppressant.

So you will be able to enjoy lovely food and also not feel hungry - as well as lowing weight!

As mrsstevejones suggests, come and join us on Bootcamp. We're reaching the end of this Bootcamp, but there will be an ongoing chat thread, and the next 'official' Bootcamp will start in May. There are plenty of us there who will be able to help and support you.

On the other hand if, like me, you find the thought of life without pasta and bread and rice unthinkable, 5:2 might work

the thing is that there are loads of methods that work
you just have to find the one you can work with for the rest of your life

In the past the thought of no rice, pasta and bread was unthinkable - they were staples of my diet but now i eat, courgette ribbons for pasta, cauliflower rice instead of normal rice and i actually dont miss bread at all, no one is more shocked than me. Last time i did eat bread it gave me horrid IBS and i trumped like an old labrador!!

I now eat butter and cream, chicken skin and loads of things that i thought were too fatty and they are amazing, i had been totally missing out. I wouldnt eat a muller light yoghurt again if you paid me.

Only prob is i havent found a way of getting my marmite fix yet!

As Talkin said its about finding something that you can stick with as its a long old road. Best of luck

How about telling yourself to eat more?
Eat anything you want but eat more fruit and veg. Eat 2-3 portions of fruit every day and 2-3 portions of veg with every meal. Drink more water too.
This way you'll naturally start eating less of the bad stuff.

I'm just adding another voice to the low carb/high fat chorus. In the past I've tried WW, calorie counting on mfp and 5:2. None worked because I was so hungry all the time. On slimming world I wasn't hungry because I could eat a lot but I didn't lose weight!

As BIWI says, once you're ketogenic your appetite goes right down. I'm now eating the same number of calories I've had on low fat diets but find them much more satisifying and just don't get hungry.

For me, lchf feels like my way of eating, it's something I choose for myself because it suits my body. It doesn't feel like an external set of rules imposed on me. The food is lush, it doesn't feel like penance for previous transgressions iyswim.

Trouble is though, there's no 'one size fits all' in weight loss, it's about finding your woe, whatever that might be.

Please don't be scared of 'low-carb'. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to go extreme with it : reducing bread, pasta and rice with more veg, protein and lentils and pulses makes a massive difference. And you won't be hungry!

Good luck!

I tried low carb and lost weight very quickly, but I found it impossible to stick to long - term. And I found that when I went back to eating some carbs (not excessively ) my weight rocketed back up.

I like Michael Pollan's summary of how to be at a healthy weight : 'Eat food, not too much, mostly plants'. Although I'd change it to 'Eat REAL (i.e. not processed) food, not too much, mostly plants'.

After trying various diets, I'm firmly of the opinion that any weight loss programme which requires you to pay money, join a club, keep a food diary, seriously restrict the food groups you're allowed to eat, starve yourself for certain periods or eat obscure and hard - to - obtain foods is a waste of time. Nobody is going to stick to any of these things for life. In which case they will put the weight back on.

90% of people on diets put on more than they lost so it really is better to find a way to eat you can stick to for life if you can. For most people that tends to be learning to like foods which are better for them.

I think one of the best things is longer gaps between meals and no snacks at all. Once some people start eating they cannot stop So if you just eat at your meal times and just eat healthy foods you will do fine.

Everyone on this thread though is really saying the same thing - you lose weight when you eat fewer calories - now good fats, veg etc fills you up and keeps you full and carbs makes you want to binge eat but if you can eat fewer calories in some other way then you would lose weight that other way too.

Jilly
Do you still do strict Paleo?
I still 5:2 but in a more mellow way now that I've been 2 years at happy weight.