If you were very overweight, how did you start with weight loss?

[teacupnic]

I'm currently more than 18 stone and am aware that I really don't want to be. Sick of shopping in the fat shops and feeling simply like I don't fit in. I read all the stories about how awful fat people are and hate myself for it. I do worry about my health although don't have any health problems at the moment. I don't necessarily think being fat is always unhealthy but I know that I am very unfit.

Trouble is, I just don't know where to start. I have been fat as long as I can remember. Most of my childhood and all my adult life. My parents were fat too. I have major issues with food psychologically and lived with an extremely narcissistic mother who used food as a weapon. Lately my partner has been mentioning the fact we could both do with losing some weight - any comments regarding me having to 'do without' something provokes extreme fear in me. I feel like someone is taking away my best friend if I'm told I can't eat a certain food. I know this is ridiculous but it's how I feel.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want weight loss surgery and don't want to try one of the things like Lighter Life. I hear all sorts of things about intermittent fasting, Slimming World, low carb etc but all of them seem completely frightening to me. And my partner just doesn't understand. He thinks it's easy. He has no emotional ties to food or his weight.

I have been trying to go on walks and doing wii fit (I know the latter probably makes little difference, but it's the least scary thing I can think of) however, I know food is the main problem.

Sorry this is so long but I am starting to feel a bit down about not knowing the best thing to do. I wonder if anyone else has any tips or ideas to get me started. Thank you for reading anyway

Just natural healthy foods. It doesn't feel like strict anything actually. I think I eat a lot but as it tends to be foods which are good it never feels deprived. Just had chicken with veg but the 3 boys cooked a massive roast beef joint so I might well be back in the kitchen in a minute getting a few slices of that unless they've demolished the lot. itwas £15 worth of beef and they said they had to have a big one as they'd eat so much but I'm hoping some will be left over.

Thanks everyone. You've given me a lot to think about. I can't say that I'm more confused after starting this thread but it has helped me to realise there isn't one foolproof method and I need to find the right one for me.

Before I decide what to do, I've been keeping a food diary and generally considering where I might be going wrong. Once I've done this for a week, I might have a better idea of what to do next.

So far what I know is - The portions I eat are quite large and it is out of a place of genuine hunger. I've tried drinking water etc to try and stave off hunger but it never seems to work. (As an aside, I don't think I was ever this bad until I started breastfeeding, even during pregnancy I wasn't that hungry!).

I also have a habit of snacking. Sometimes, yes, I'm hungry but at other times it's boredom or stress. I do also struggle with lunches a bit, can't stand salad (do have some issues with textures of foods and can be a bit phobic of certain foods to the point of feeling sick).

Breakfast and evening meals tend to be alright, I tend to stay away from the most unhealthy stuff and eat decent amounts of fruit and veg.

Still no closer to a solution, but I guess knowing what the problem is could be a good start?

Up your protein levels - then you will stay fuller for longer
eggs, fish, chicken, game
eg a nice lunchtime salad niceoise should keep you feeling stuffed till supper

Breastfeeding makes you starving so I can totally understand the large portions!!! Maybe whilst you are bf just concentrate on good food and worry about weighloss later. Sorry to sound like a broken record but hflc really sorted out my way out of control appetite. I could eat a massive dinner and pudding then another massive meal an hr later - I dont do that anymore. Good luck

Teacupnic - tbh if you already know your portions are large, you snack quite a lot and you eat carb - heavy stuff, then you probably don't need to investigate - there are your answers right there. No mystery about what's causing you to be overweight - and it's the same reasons for almost everyone! Surely keeping a food diary is just going to tell you what you already know.

Three meals a day including plenty of veg. No snacks, or if you must snack then a piece of fruit. Drink plenty of water. Avoid sugary carbs. Move about plenty. It's not complicated - it's just hard to make yourself stick to it. But easier than trying to do a specific and really restrictive diet.

Dh is annoyingly unsympathetic about weight loss (partly because he's always been fit and healthy ). He says there's a whole bunch of women at his work who spend all their time talking about what diet they are on, discussing the merits of low carb, all south beach, low fat etc etc. And then he sees them all sitting around at break inhaling cakes.

I think we can go round and round in circles trying to pick the 'best diet' and spend ages trying to work out where we are going wrong, but that's just a distraction from tackling the problem - we eat too much and too often, we eat sugary processed crap and we sit down too much.

I've been as guilty of this (both the inhaling cakes and the wasting time dabbling with diets ) as anyone. But I am getting out of the cycle.

Teacupnic. I started my weight loss journey at 17 and a half stone. This morning I weighed in at 10 stone 13.5 lbs. Did I think I could do it, no I didn't. Did it feel like I had so much to loose I didn't know how to start, yes. Is it easy, you know what yes it is,not always but mostly, is it common sense, yes BUT I have also done it all before lost a couple stone felt a but better fell back into bad habits put more back on and around and around we go so this time I didn't start with a goal I just thought I'm gonna eat healthy this month and see what happens, just one month, 4 weeks and I lost 14.5 lb. Well obviously I wanted to do a second month after that, I joined slimming world though just for the moral support more than anything and again 4 weeks 16 lb loss... and so it went on when I got to 13 stone I started jogging, now I run 10K in 58 minutes! Me! I do boxing now too and yes 6 plus stone ago that would have sounded horrific to me and I would have said no way. I think baby steps is the way to go. One day at a time, one week, one month, one stone...small targets with plenty of support. I also went to my go and got counselling we do mindfulness and emdr (also the daughter of a narcissistic mother and a abuse survivor so I know only too well how much psychological issues affect weight it's not an excuse and you need to address them to succeed not just in weigh loss but generally for your wellbeing ) good luck. If I can do it anyone can! It will be the best journey you will ever go on! X

And holmesweetholmes is right..no fads and no cutting out major food groups! Treats in moderation three meals a day filled with veg protein and Complex cars. .We all know this stuff. Believe in yourself don't be afraid. you won't fail. I promise it's easier than you think Cooking from scratch no processed food no ready meals just lovely fresh colourful food I didn't even like fruit but I love it now and I even crave fruit and veg because my taste buds have changed and my body is more finely tuned to what it needs.

Lots of great suggestions OP. I found, however, that knowledge about what worked for me wasn't enough as I had various issues with food so even though I've lost weight many times I hadn't dealt with these issues.

If this sounds familiar you might want to look into Overeaters Anonymous. Don't be put off by the god aspects, I am am atheist and it has still worked for me and given me some peace from food cravings, binges etc.

All the best.

I had a lot of weight to lose (too embarrassed to say how much!). I tried VLCD and I did lose weight but piled it back on, and more.

I tried Weight Watchers and Slimming World years ago but neither really did the trick.

Then last year I had a miscarriage and I blamed my weight (I have no idea if that was really the cause, but in my head it was). The following week I joined Slimming World and lost 4 stone in 8 months. I have found it extremely easy to follow.

I was still very overweight at that point, but felt much better about myself and then fell pregnant again! I have gained some in the pregnancy but I am safe in the knowledge that I know how to lose it sensibly when the baby arrives.

Drink lots of water, I like carbonated, it will help you feel full and be good for you.

I suggest that losing all the extra weight would be a daunting idea so I would try to lose two stone and then maintain it, you will feel more in control and its something you could do by the summer. Have you been to talk to your doctor about it?

I haven't got to my desired weight, but having tried many diets in the past I like My Fitness Pal. Which isn't a diet as such - you just key in what you've eaten and how much exercise you've done and it gives you a guide as to whether you've eaten too much, too little or will be likely to lose weight.

I like it because you don't have to restrict yourself from any particularly foods. You just need to check you're not overdoing it. So if I know I'm having something a bit high in calories for tea, I'll have something lower calorie for breakfast and lunch or do some exercise to compensate.

The forum there I find very inspiring - I would start by having a look there.

I lost 4 stone after having 2nd dc as had been asked to be bridesmaid for my cousins wedding which was 6 months after I'd given birth. I didn't lose the whole lot in that time, probably about 3 stone but having that as motivation was really helpful - could you set yourself a date and a target to help focus your mind? Maybe a holiday or birthday party? I joined weightwatchers online and stuck to it rigidly. I weighed and measured myself each month and the progress was more motivation. I don't follow ww anymore but it helped me with portion control and general 'clean eating' principles.

I don't 'diet' as such now, but try to avoid processed food, snacking between meals, and alcohol during the week. I also try to be as active as possible - get a pedometer and try to get up to 10,000 steps each day. Now the evenings are getting lighter is nice to go out for a walk after work. Good luck.

I also have a problem with food - emotionally wise. I've started seeing a councellor regarding this, I've only had 1 session but I'm really hoping it works, - the main reason is I haven't had sex for bloody years! but thinking about actually having sex - I just think - no! I'm far too fat for that!