Size 12 and overweight

[m0therofdragons]

I am having to accept I'm overweight. Only about 4lbs but over my bmi range. I'm calorie counting so trying to get on top of it but my head struggles to accept I can be a size 12 and that be classed as fat. I've tried size 14 jeans but they don't stay up.
I'm 5foot 4inches and the lower weight I could healthily be is 7 stone 12 - at my lightest I was 9 stone and starting to look drawn.
I just don't seem to know what healthy is anymore . Anyone else feel like this?

For reference, this is what I look like. I'm hardly at the 'remove a wall to get her out of the house' stage

Mother - can you run home from work? That's how I fit my runs in, as otherwise I'd never find the time.
If you added in abut if extra distance, plus a few hill reps (terrain permitting) and sprint intervals you could get a decent workout in only 20 or 30 mins.
Also, bodyweight exercises. I do push-ups, the Plank, etc, in the evenings with DH. It all helps, and it's good fun.

Gaah it only posted the last sentence of my last post!

What I was going so say OP rather than just posting a contextless selfie was that waist to hip ratio has a huge effect on health and also on how 'fat' a person looks. (photo is an attempt to illustrate that, 'scuse the giant Kardashian-posed arse )

there's a waist to hip ratio calculator here www.virginactive.co.uk/active-matters/tools/waist-hip-ratio

I think this goes to illustrate very well how it's better to take unbiased measurements such as BMI or a pair of jeans you used to fit, rather than manufacturers clothing sizes to determine your healthy weight.

Clothing sizes vary enormously - I can be a size 10 from Sainsburys, a 14 from M&S, and XL at Max Mara .

I know for me that BMI is a reasonable scale - it's quite a wide range, and whilst there will be some outliers it seems generous enough to me. I'm 5ft6 so my top weight for a BMI of 25 is 11st2. That seems fair enough to me, even at 11st2 I feel a little lardy but as long as I am healthy, that's the key thing to me. I'm slightly over that at the minute so I am cutting back a bit and logging on MFP.

It's not a painful process as I swear that I am done with the likes of Weight Watchers where I spend all my time thinking about the point value of this, that and the other - so boring.

Almost as boring as people that are within the healthy weight range banging on about how they used to weigh 8 st and feel a bit chunky at 9st. I spent my 20s and early 30s at 10 stone, I went to the gym 3 x per week, I watched what I ate, looking back at photos I had a cracking figure, but did I appreciate it - did I heck. I was never going to weigh much less due to fairly broad shoulders and build, but instead of really enjoying my body at the time I thought I was fat. So now I am actually technically officially fat, I'm trying just to enjoy the process and appreciate myself as I am whilst making sensible food choices.

OP do you get a lunchbreak at work? I'm the same in that I want to spend free time relaxing at home, but I usually get a good 30-50 minute walk in at lunch, nice fast walking. Wakes me up for the afternoon too!

Thanks knit - and you look fab.
I pretty much do run to work as far as my boobs allow without a sports bra and then back but no I cant add extra time in as I rush to pick up dd1 from after school club and dtds from nursery. I get no time to myself (this will change as dc get older) but I'm also not a gym person. I can swim a long way and beat my skinny dh when swimming lengths.

Nope, lunch time is spent working so I can collect dc on time and not pay extra on childcare (basically we budgeted for dd2 and twins has hit us financially - childcare costs for them is too much to pay for me to go running). I occasionally use the ea sports wii game but by the time dc are in bed I'm tired and trying to catch up on housework.

Ok, but could you run to the after school club and nursery instead of walk? Just change into your sports kit at work and run with your work clothes in a rucksack?
that's what I do - every little helps and all. I know it's hard to find the time, but when you start it becomes habit.

Also, I'm very lucky in that we have showers at my work, so two or three times a week I can fit in a four- mile run on my lunch break. It is tough fitting it in - I have two jobs, a demanding toddler and tons of marking to do in the evenings - but since I started prioritising exercise I find it easier to keep the weight off, plus it helps with my stress levels.

Thanks preens (fat) self

Have you through of trying yoga or pilates? (I don't mean a whole class, just a few poses before bed or whenever you can fit them in) This type of thing can be a great form of exercise if you want to look more streamlined and poised but don't have much weight to loose (which you don't by the sound of it), and it's good for the soul too. And for the back!

Okay, waist to hip is 28 waist and 42 hip - which knit's link says is excellent. Now I'm even more confused.
I'm going to stick with mfp as it gives me a chance to get a grip on what I'm eating and makes me think twice about eating cake but also not going to stress about it. It is confusing though - no wonder we don't kniw what's healthy looking anymore.

Here is my before and after photo (before is at about 10 stone, post 3rd baby, and after is about 8 stone).

In my heart I know I wasn't massively overweight in the before photo (and people have said that) but my head won't let me believe it, so only feel really happy in the after state.

I don't want to lose any more though - I just want to maintain! But it's hard work to maintain and I do deny myself a lot. I wish I felt ok in the before state and could enjoy more wine and crisps!

I did Pilates for a while. It was okay but a bit dull. I love playing netball so when dc are older I may go back to that but overall I'm pretty active I just don't specifically say "I'm exercising now" We do have showers at work but that would mean leaving earlier to allow time which means dh having to give dc breakfast when he's already doing the morning school run as I leave so early. I guess if I wanted to do it I'd find a way but looking at other threads it's food rather than exercise that leads to weight loss anyway.

28 waist 42 inch hip - wowsers you sound HOT!

I'm a similar proportion - again, excellent according to the calculator. It's confusing isn't it? I mean, you could weigh bang on what your BMI says you ought to weigh, but have a very unhealthy waist to hip ratio. It's sometimes so hard to just trust our common sense when it comes to health as we get all these messages from all over the place!

DH uses mfp and loves it - but he was told by a personal trainer friend that it VASTLY underestimates calories needed for most people, so don't go by 1200 or whatever ridiculously low number it tries to give you. Use a BMR calculator to work out what you need to eat just to stay alive each day if you didn't get out of bed, and then go from there.

See I think you have a lovely body in both boobz. Xx

BMR calculator - www.calculator.net/bmr-calculator.html

Boobz you look fab in both photos isn't it bizarre how harshly we judge ourselves?

Haha thanks knit - it's the gabby bit underneath my waist that's the issue but that might just be skin from twin pg!
Mfp matched another calculator I tried both saying 1200. I've found it fine to stay in that by choosing well and planning the day before with snacks at times I know I'll be tempted. Only issue is the last two days I've lost my appetite and really struggling to make myself eat which I haven't had before. Maybe I'm coming down with something.

Flabby not gabby
Oh that link says an extra 100 calories per day so I'll have some wriggle room.

Bear in mind that that link (basal metabolic rate) is what your body would burn if you lay in bed all day doing nothing (which I'm assuming having DTwins doesn't really allow for!) This calculator tells you your total energy expenditure based on your daily exercise level and your BMR. manytools.org/handy/bmr-calculator/

actually this is a better one - www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html

Thank you. That's fab.

Its hard isn't it, I am 5ft5 small frame and should still be on the slim side at 8st11 (20.3 BMI), but the reality is that for me this is big, I am a size 10. I have been considerably smaller last year, but find myself getting obsessed, tying to do the mindful eating thing but not going amazingly well. So true though what the poster who said we should appreciate the body we have now. When I was at my desirable weight 20 years ago I had a borderline eating disorder. Since then I have been a similar weight in recent years cause of running round after the kids, although I am still very active I am back at the weight I was pre kids. That said, I try to feel lucky to have a body that works and does everything I need it to do, although it doesn't quite look how I would like it to.

Remember that BMI was designed as a population level metric to compare populations across time and space- it wasn't really designed as an individual metric and used as such it's a very blunt tool as it's talking about a "Joe Average". What it's really saying is that if you fall into the "normal" range, then your weight probably isn't causing any health issues. If you fall outside it, then it may. However, it's not saying that if you fall within the normal range you're going to look hot in a bikini because the public health system doesn't care about that.

There are also people who dispute the validity of BMI on the basis that it doesn't take account of body composition, but frankly, unless those people do insane amounts of resistance based exercise (weight lifting, not cardio) then that's unlikely to be a factor. However, looking at Boobz's photo, it would be fair to say that she has good muscle tone and would therefore probably be under fat at a BMI of 18.5. Conversely, some people who have a BMI of 18 may be "skinny fat", have very little lean tissue and still look flabby.

Very well put aggressive

Wow boobz what did you do to slim down?