Losing weight when you can't be bothered to eat properly. How?

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

Not sure whether I am alone on this. But MN has taught me I rarely am with anything so...

I am 42. 2 DCs (8 and 5). Divorced. Work full time. Have boyfriend but he doesn't live locally and isn't around in the week.

Weigh too much. Don't know how much. Probably about a stone.

It doesn't matter what I do - 5:2, calorie counting, ADF, vegan diet - I just can't stick to it because fundamentally I don't eat properly. I will for a short period of time prepare myself balanced meals. Then after a week or two I go back to eating shit again. I won't cook for myself. Ever really.

When I have the kids (share residence with exH) I cook for them. But in the week it is a rush job due to their activities. I don't like meat so won't eat the stuff I cook them. And anyway it is too early. So when they are in bed I eat crap. And drink wine.

But fundamentally I have never eaten properly. Had anorexia as teen. Think it stems from that.

Obviously I eat too much crap as am too heavy. Need to lose weight as will also make me feel happier. But how? I haven't ever tried ww or sw but no point as I won't prepare myself healthy food. I don't like meat so lo carbing is no good.

How do I lose weight when I just won't prepare food for myself? And will just resort to bread and crisps (and wine) when the kids are in bed. I need a lifestyle change with regards to eating. But how do I change this about myself?

Any ideas anyone?

Exercise? Makes you feel good and might motivate you a bit more

I think it's quite common to eat like that. As a lone parent I also find it a bit difficult to prepare food just for me

I used to exercise loads. Running. I work full time now and have a commute and when I have the kids I just can't fit it in. No one to watch them and anyway I am out of the door with them at 7.25am and then don't get them in bed till 8.30 most nights by which time I have tonnes of stuff to do for next day so even 20 mins on the treadmill is too much of a battle.

I just feel like I can't change right now which is crap. I must be able to. If I want it badly enough. And I can change. For a few weeks. Then back to the crap and v little exercise again.

I often end up eating crap too rather than proper meals. Not a lone parent, but I work 4 evenings a week, so I am not at home at dinner time. I will sometimes attempt to eat a dinner before going to work, but that doesn't always work, especially if I am trying to take DD to activities etc during the day rather than being stuck indoors.

Start slowly. change one thing at a time.Can you have something more substantial ready to heat up once the kiddies are in bed? Even if it was just a vege soup rather than bread and crisps?
I would personally ditch the junk food first (e.g. crisps), meaning you could still have a sandwich/beans on toast etc if you wanted it. Then perhaps when you have weaned yourself off that, try batch cooking/preparing yourself some healthier meals for the evenings?

The batch cooking does work. For a while. Then I go back to my old ways again. I leave the soup in the fridge one night because it is really late and I CBA. Then the next night I just put the lot in the food recycle bin. I have eaten like this for the best part of 20years I reckon. I probably eat one proper meal a week. With the kids at the weekend.

I need a way to make myself do this. Permanently. I guess it is baby steps. And maybe not giving up immediately if I have one bad night!

If you have been like this for 20 years, you will definitely just need to change one thing at a time. This is what I am trying to do at the moment. I have stopped buying junk food, so there are no biscuits/choc/cake/crisps in the house to pick on. If I am hungry I need to make a sandwich / heat up soup at least.
Once I have been doing this well for a while I plan to try and introduce regular veges. Though I will not be overly ambitious and aim for 5 a day to begin with - I will probably start with having 1 every day and see how I go from there!
Bad habits, die hard!

You are right. I never do anything steadily. It is all (vegan home-spun) or nothing (but processed crap). I need to take it a step at a time. That is what I will do.

teeny tiny baby steps.........

Are you certain that you actually need to lose weight? Just a thought...

Maybe ignore losing weight and concentrate on meal / snack planning and eating non-junk. Treat yourself to stuff you like but that is "real" food so you build a sense of interest in what you've got to look forward too.

Also remember things like beans on toast, boiled eggs, a banana are all nutritious but easy when you are short on time and motivation.

Just noticed Coldfeet's post says similar!

It sounds sensible. But I need to make myself do it. And there is probably something of the self sabotage about me which means instead of nourishing myself - I eat crap because that is all I deserve. I cook healthy meals for my kids cos they are worth it. But I eat crap because I can't be bothered to look after myself

I want to lose weight. A bit. About a stone. Clothes too tight mostly. And I have a tummy which I have never really had (am generous of arse but have always had flat stomach)

I have only ever eaten one meal a day, from being a teenager to now at 51 and have always eaten a rubbish diet, I do have an underactive thyroid and spent several years not taking my thyroxin because I got out of the habit, the weight has crept up without me even noticing. I have never been able to stick to a diet! I am currently unable to do pretty much any exercise because of a back injury and other health complications, have been like this for pretty much the last year which has probably contributed to the weight gain as I was very active before this.
I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 4 weeks ago, healthy eating for 3 months before they decide whether I need treatment for it or not. For the first time in my adult life I am eating 3 meals a day, I have lost almost a stone!

What is doing it for me is an app I downloaded onto my kindle, I log everything that passes my lips and can monitor all the nutrients etc. I have become rather obsessed with it. The one thing I am having, if I can't eat what the family has, is tinned tomatoes on whole wheat toast, just a tiny bit of low fat cheese sprinkled on. I think the diabetes thing has spurred me on because it has terrified me and I am hoping I can 'reverse' it before it is too late. It could be that a similar app would help you to monitor what you are eating and help you to stick to it.

You need to make it as simple as possible for yourself. I'm the same. I get told to follow these diets and buy in lots of ingredients but I'll never actually cook. Too time consuming and boring.
So have incredibly easy things in the are healthy but you like. I have individual microwave veg packs. Smash! Egg noodles, jacket potatoes, bought fresh soups. Basically things you can microwave. Fruit I like tropical fruit so am more likely to eat it if it's there so pineapple and mango prepared cut fruit.
People will moan and tell you these things are a waste of money but if it means you eat them rather than leaving difficult fresh food to rot and buying a takeaway or convenience junk from the shop then that definitely saves money!

This will be very hard to do but if you cut out wine for a month I bet you'll lose a stone in weight easily

Switch to gin and slimline tonic

As you don't cook I'd buy the innocent prepared soups & stews, smoothie etc

Or m&s eat well range

There's loads of healthy ready meals you can nuke

Also could you exercise at weekends
Biking with the kids
Running when they're with their dad

Thanks all. Diabetes worries me. And heart disease. Family history of it. And my cholesterol has always been borderline.

But not even the knowledge of that keeps me going for long.

I do usually exercise when the kids are with their dad. When they are with me it is hard. 5yr old won't cycle. Or walk very far. Gah. And I have them 5 days in a row some weeks so it makes consistency difficult. I don't have the cash for a babysitter.

I have done a 30 min run today and will run again tomorrow before they get back.

As for eating - I just don't stick to anything. And I really need to. I guess I just don't know what to eat. Won't prepare stuff just for me. So I eat bread and crisps instead.

I gave up wine for 8 months last year. Felt better but didn't lose any weight.

This is going to sound bad. I just don't want to eat a jacket spud. They are fine. Nothing wrong with them. But I just won't do it. Why won't I do it? I am being stupid. I am my own worse enemy. It is like I am sabotaging my efforts to lose weight. I had anorexia for years. I am an expert on calorie content. And yet I will eat a tube of Aldi Pringles for my tea. With half a bottle of wine if I don't have the kids.

Oh and yes. I tried the app. Like everything. Stuck with it for a week. Then gave up!

Stop snacking
That is all.

Define when you will eat - whatever you like food wise - and do not eat outside those times
anything
at all

once you have stopped snacking all else will start to fall into place

I probably need to sit and eat my food. I usually eat my evening crap as I flit my way around my evening jobs. I don't get to sit down till about 9.30 or 10pm by the time I have sorted everything out for the following day and sorted out the fallout of that day!

nonono
Food is your one retreat from the stress of the day.
Set time aside to enjoy it
do your errands and chores and then sit down with a magazine and savour your food - every bite of something you'll remember well in the morning
TBH a good takeaway spring roll or shish kebab fits that bill
BUT
slow down for a few minutes and ONLY eat at meal times

you'll be amazed at the difference it will make.

When you have the kids, do you all have meals at the table?
Get them to cook a meal each week as then you'll HAVE to sit and be impressed
and they learn healthy eating styles
do they cook meals for their dad?
could you and he organise that you plan them to cook meals in the other house .... you two do not need to talk but it will increase THEIR security about food issues
and save you both cooking

Talkin - thanks for your message. Today I did something I have never done before. I cooked myself a Sunday roast. For me. With veg and jackets rather than roasties. And I sat. And ate it.

I cook roasts often for us as a family. But would never have dreamed of doing that for myself until you got me thinking about planning and meal for me. I plan for the kids - all mapped out with options for breakfast and lunch and then a main meal in the evening. But I never do that for me!

School term evenings are chaotic due to the kids' activities. I often have to take them straight from the childminder to an activity. Sometimes I pop home with the one who isn't doing the activity - feed that one and then the other one gets fed later after the activity. We sometimes eat together in the week but often not.

nonono
I hope you enjoyed it too.

One of the well documented links is between 'chaotic' eating and weight problems
it is worth you taking the time and energy to get you and your kids into 'meal times' at least a few times a week
as sitting and enjoying food together is a really good way to create a healthy relationship with it

also, if people know that a good meal is coming later, they are less likely to consider snacking ....

Forget about your weight/diet for a while. Focus on improving your self esteem and doing things you enjoy, that take you out of yourself for a while. Find physical things you enjoy doing - walking, dancing, yoga, doesn't have to be hard core 'exercise' and also something creative - writing, singing, knitting, photography. When you feel better about yourself and your life generally (which in truth comes from who you are, not the size of your bum ), you will be much more inclined to look after yourself. That doesn't have to mean a strict diet either (something you'd do better avoiding anyway with a history of disordered eating ), just making better choices generally and doing that consistently will make a big difference.

And I'd second Talkin's advice re taking time to enjoy meals properly. Mindful eating takes time to master but is the most worthwhile thing you can do wrt your relationship with food and body.

I gave up ONE cup of freshly ground coffee that I was having every morning, and I lost a stone (I didn't do it to lose weight just because I don't like to feel addicted to anything IFYSWIM.)

Why not have fruit when you feel hungry and eat slowly and consciously, look at Paul Mckenna it works !!!Oh and buy pure rye bread and ryvitas for toast it's much tastier than the shit white stuff that makes your blood pressure shoot up and stays in your stomach longer.