Losing weight when you can't be bothered to eat properly. How?

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

Not sure whether I am alone on this. But MN has taught me I rarely am with anything so...

I am 42. 2 DCs (8 and 5). Divorced. Work full time. Have boyfriend but he doesn't live locally and isn't around in the week.

Weigh too much. Don't know how much. Probably about a stone.

It doesn't matter what I do - 5:2, calorie counting, ADF, vegan diet - I just can't stick to it because fundamentally I don't eat properly. I will for a short period of time prepare myself balanced meals. Then after a week or two I go back to eating shit again. I won't cook for myself. Ever really.

When I have the kids (share residence with exH) I cook for them. But in the week it is a rush job due to their activities. I don't like meat so won't eat the stuff I cook them. And anyway it is too early. So when they are in bed I eat crap. And drink wine.

But fundamentally I have never eaten properly. Had anorexia as teen. Think it stems from that.

Obviously I eat too much crap as am too heavy. Need to lose weight as will also make me feel happier. But how? I haven't ever tried ww or sw but no point as I won't prepare myself healthy food. I don't like meat so lo carbing is no good.

How do I lose weight when I just won't prepare food for myself? And will just resort to bread and crisps (and wine) when the kids are in bed. I need a lifestyle change with regards to eating. But how do I change this about myself?

Any ideas anyone?

Ppeatfruit what do you think the coffee made so much difference? Did you have a lot of sugar?

I haven't read all the replies so apologies if this has been mentioned before. I recently started tracking what I eat on this site. It's been quite an eye opener and watching those calories creep up and up as you eat makes you think about everything you put into your mouth. I don't know if this will help long term, I'm hoping that I can use it to get into better habits and then stop.

No no sugar at all, it's even stranger because when I have the odd one now I pee it out ! Sorry TMI! I think that yr. body gets used to it and it holds onto water . DH also looses weight as soon as he stops drinking coffee too. I'm talking the real strong stuff though!

if you won't do it then it won't happen. Don't waste money on diet clubs. (actually that is good advice for anyone...)

but it does sound like your problem is in your head, and that is the bit that needs help first. No shame but please ask for help.

you need to eat proper food which means cooking. Something is stopping you looking after yourself by doing this.

good luck.

Why don't you all eat together in the evening? Doesn't have to be early. My children are 3 and 4 and we eat dinner around 8pm usually.

If you want them in bed by 8.30pm then do bath/ pjs first and all eat say 7.45/8pm together. Make them veggie dishes if you don't eat meat. They can eat meat at lunch/ at fathers surley.

I think also up the excercise with the children, even if youngest doesn't like it. We swim a lot ( most evenings between us home from work and dinner). Could you make sure to always walk the school run and go out with kids hour after school on bikes/ scooters/ tennis/ football/ wood walk or something.

At the weekends can you all take up a sport as a family? Swim/ cycle/ rock climbing/ walking

Yes specialsubject is right, that's why I recommended Paul Mckenna because it's not a 'diet' as such, so no calorie counting or weird low fat, full of chemical foods; it deals with the emotional aspect of eating and the HOW, WHEN and WHY we eat.

artandco
in general I agree - but OP clearly shares child time with her ex so its a lot trickier
hence why I suggested once or twice a week

Thanks for such insightful and thoughtful and gentle replies. No one has called me a nutter.

The trouble with meals in the evenings is all the activities and my work. It is hard to fit everyone's needs in. Mondays DD has rainbows 5-6 and as I can't get there for 5, someone else takes her. I then rush back, pick DS up, we have about 20 mins then I have to pick the girls up from rainbows and take them home. It's then 6.20. They are both knackered and starving. We eat. Then it is bedtime.

Tuesday is rugby 6-7 for DS. So again rushing around after work.

There is no way my kids could go to bed after 8. Well not DD. She needs to be in bed for 7.30 at the latest. She is up at 6.30 as we leave the house at 7.20.

The kids are with their dad on weds and Thursday and I end up working daft hours to catch up. Fridays again kids are in childcare till 6. Then they are knackered.

Weekends DD dances for 2 hours. DS plays rugby all Sunday morning. Then they both swim Sunday evening. I just ferry them around!!

I don't know how else to fit stuff in. What with homework and piano practice and everything else!

Rainbows didn't start back tonight so we did go for a short wander (40mins) in the woods. But at 5yr old pace with much puddle inspection! Not going to burn many calories

But my boyfriend is staying tonight and not leaving until 9ish tomorrow. So I am setting my alarm for 5.30 to run, be back and showered by 6.30 when I have to get the kids up...

And this week, as I am on the doorstep of the NATO summit, I shall be walking about 9 miles a day on Thursday and Friday (kids with dad as it is inset day for them due to school closures) to get to and fro the station as I won't be able to drive to work. God alone knows how knacked I will be. But it will up the exercise quotient this week! It will kill me tho as I have to do this on top of full on working days (senior management in Uni)

OK,
you need to do less
seriously - you are running yourself into the ground
and as your kids get older and more stubborn they will become less happy about being sent from pillar to post the whole time.

get a copy of this book and absorb some ideas ...
books.google.co.uk/books/about/French_Cooking_in_Ten_Minutes.html?id=ZAOcOO_wru0C&redir_esc=y

I have no choice about work. I have just moved jobs to one which doesn't require me to travel anymore. That was hellish. New job is much better in that respect. But requires me to use childminder at both ends of the day.

As for activities - they want to do more not less. DD is nagging to do rugby too. And gymnastics. And horse riding. She is 5. I am saying no.

Weekends are mad. But probably because I am juggling it all on my own. Ex has a gf there every weekend. And his mum a lot. But I am mostly doing it on my own which is hard.

I don't mind really. Kids are happy. For now. And I'll survive (there is a song in there somewhere)

Blimey where's the Nato summit NoNoNo ?Are you in England? Sorry to sound ignorant I get depressed by the news so am not right up to the minute with it

The NATO summit is this one I presume www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-29016411

Kids nagging to do more stuff. Ignore them.
They need to have some time to get bored and learn how to entertain themselves.
I made a point of keeping one night a week free for friend visits no matter what.

Could the kids do cooking and stuff with their dad and his gf (an easy way for them to spend time together with minimal 'strings'

And get them to start to cook for you
Print out a copy of this book
www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_digitalassets/@dg/@en/documents/digitalasset/dg_171715.pdf
( ^my kids got given it by school at the time)
and get the kids to work through it.
DS cooks us the spag bol regularly tonight in fact
and about half the other recipes have been tried ... they are full of veg and cooked from scratch so fun and healthy and meals rather than grazing

I might get flamed for this... And it may be prohibitively expensive but as a fellow crap eater who is lucky to be married to an amazing cook but would eat crap if left to my own devices, what about something like Diet Chef where they send you all your food? They do the calorie counting as I understand it and you'd just need to make sure you ate only the food provided to lose weight? Just an idea... I feel your pain. I just had an apple, cheese and a Twirl for supper

puppymouse
I've got nothing against Diet Chef : friends at my gym have used it
BUT
part of OP's "issue" is getting a happy healthy relationship with food for her and her DCs that will work in both of their homes
'subcontracting' that may not be for the best

on the other hand, for the nights when OP does NOT have the kids, healthy pre prepared meals for her and her BF that they can sit and enjoy might be a really positive move

Yup Talkin. That is the summit!

Opened beans for DD at 5.30 for her tea while DS at rugby. He made himself a sandwich at childminder's before I collected him as rugby doesn't finish till 7ish and that is too late for me to be making him food as I need to be getting DD in bed.

She did her own beans on toast. Supervised obvs. And we then baked cookies. Which I'm taking into work so I don't eat them all myself!

I am going to eat some beans now. Don't want them. But they are sensible.

Oh and ex won't cooperate about anything. No way he will do anything at my suggestion. Or even the kids' normally

As for a night in the week with nothing on. That is Friday. But I don't pick them up from childcare till 5.30-6 and they are worn out so it is tea, bath, stories and bed. For all of us

Hi NoNoNo
OK, lateral thinking needed.
You need to sort the food issue with you and the kids (because its worth getting them on track now)

Suppers for busy nights : stews and a slow cooker are your friend
even if you make it in batches and freeze it to ping on the evening
but then you and the kids get the "kick" of eating something real

Childminder - its not a way I've lived but my Sis has her kids have all meals at Nursery so I 'get'
BUT
you need to think forwards - my DCs go to bed later than I do

if you can make "supper time" be a communal - chew over the day, gas a bit, laugh a lot time, your weight / grazing problems which I'm pretty sure are stress related will diminish
how about you set aside "cheese and fruit late night snack" time for every evening
and then build the meal times up as they get older

BUT
you need to start today on "meals" not "grazing"

you are clearly willing and sharp : give it a go

Aren't you a love?

I am queen of freezer meals from the slow cooker. For the kids. I just never fancy them! And they don't really seem very keen these days either. Plus meat dishes are best in the slow cooker and that is not me.

I know that, as time rolls on, the kids will be in bed later so the pressure for tea at 5pm will be reduced. At the moment tho, my wee one is still only 5. She is out the door at 7.20 to get her to the childminder so by 5pm she is thumb-in-mouth knackered. The 8 year old could probably hold out longer. But I have to juggle it all to suit the lowest common denominator. Plus my sodding job which pays the bills!!

nonono
I want people to succeed in their aims : lateral thinking is part of that.
You'll be just fine

Just cut out the wine. That's all. Your tummy will vanish and excess water weight will fade away. Whenever I drink booze, I swell up. Even if I don't eat much.

Just ditch the wine, OR switch to something super-light okie vodka and soda with a squeeze of fresh lime.

Wine is like drinking butter.

Butter? Bleurgh. I hate butter. Sadly it seems to make no difference even when I don't drink. I didn't lose weight even when teetotal for 8 months.

It's not just wine that bloats dh and me, it's coffee and normal teas we both lost a lot of weight when we gave up our daily caffeine hits!!

IIWM I'd haunt the health food shops , the fast food there is generally healthier than the normal stuff and more slimming , esp. if as I suggested earlier you also cut out wheat (check the book Wheat Belly by William Davis M.D.)

Totally right Talkin. Can see it might not be the best solution.