Really need some help and advice regarding weight loss

[sunnyflowers]

Ok, not sure this is the right place to post but here goes....

Before children I was always a healthy weight (big boned but slim) I put on alot of weight with Dc1 but managed to loose all bar 10lbs before getting pg again. I wouldn't say I found it easy but I had willpower and enjoyed loosing weight.

With 2nd Dc I didnt put on half the weight I did the first time round, but Ive barely lost any of it this time round (he is 2 now )

Im not sure how much of it is bad health (I have 2x long term health conditons now that mean im constantly tired and struggling) whether its harder cos I had a Csection with Dc2 or its being unhappy,l (I had a bereavement whils pg with dc2 and have still not dealt with it) and I have deppression.

Whatever it is, I seem to crave sugar/choc and comfort foods, they seem to go hand in hand with every emoticon (if im happy I eat, if im sad I eat etc...) and its almost like self-sabotage, I think to myself well I might as well eat loads more cos Im fat anyway etc.

I thought it was because I didnt have any incentive but I now have a couple of events and things happening this year that I feel I MUST loose weight for, yet I still cant seem to get in the right mindset. I know people say to me, well you cant want to loose weight enough, but I really do I just can't seem to get my head right.

sorry for the nassive ramble, im just hoping some one can relate and has some help and advice.

thanks for reading!

well I think there are at least two things that you need to address

1. you need counselling/therapy/some head shrinkage of some sort. you have been through a lot and I think this would benefit you

2. you need to decide how to change your lifestyle, you can do something for a few months - lose a few pounds then go back to the crisps

I have an eating structure I use - I did it for 18 months and now I take one day off at weekend and have what I like and that is how I maintain my weight.

I low carb - the misnomas about LCing include it is expensive, I find that if I added up all the money I spent on shit food - that I do not now spend, it is not expensive

It is unhealthy. I eat more veg than I have ever done in my life, lean meat, chicken - only very occasionally do I have the bacon/egg/ fry up that everyone inevitably points to as if that is the only thing low carbers eat.

I understand the principle behind LCing too - so I 'get' how it works. If I don't feed my body energy in the form of sugar ( which is in EVERYTHING BTW) my body will use the existing stores of fat. Knowing this helps me. Also you cannot sneak a small jelly baby or have 'just one' because it breaks 'ketosis'

I do not know about your health issues, but I do know that if you ask a doctor ( which you probably should do) they are going to tell you what you already know

3 squares, eat healthily, don't snack etc.

If it were that easy there wouldn't be a diet industry would there? I need more structure than that but hate those horrible WW type groups

if you want more info let me know - happy to buddy up with you

Definitely the right place! You've made the first step just by posting here.

What helped me get my head in the right place was not so much thinking about weight (just a number) or appearance but about my health and fitness - there was a particular activity I wanted to do with my DD which really spurred me.

So its a positive: 'gaining fitness' rather than a negative 'losing weight. Do you think maybe you could try to look at it that way?

I agree a very definite goal spurred me on too - I was going on holiday with beautiful slim friend!!

Thank you for your replies and support. I agree about the vicious cycle of carbs and sugar custardo and would love to understand it more. I am happy to give more information about my situation on pm just didn't want to 'out' myself on here (not that you probably want to know all my problems).

Errol - I also agree with the lifestyle change rather than just focusing on the numbers, however because of the health conditions im unable to do anything that will help much on the activity front.

I wish the goals I have would spur me on and I know this is an awful thing to say and not like me at all, but I just think 'who cares' I don't think enough of myself to be bothered

I would love a buddy custardo

It might be useful if you could give some indication of the nature of your health problems - otherwise people might give inappropriate advice, or there might be someone with similar who'd be able to really help. Obviously you may prefer not to.

i cant be a low carb buddy if you think lc is the way you want to go

im fair but firm mind

when shall we start sunny?

can* i can be a low carb buddy

im a bit scared now Custardo

Im not sure if low carbs Is the way although I know a few people who have done well on this path, I do worry how I would maintain it long term though and (this isnt an excuse) but my kids and Dp are quite fussy and carb heavy with what they like and I know what the main carbs are but am often suprised to find carbs in other things.

Previously ive found calorie counting the most successful thing for me, if I stick to 1200 a day I loose weight well but not too quick, but I just cant seem to get my head in this mindset lately and it should be easier with MFP!

A buddy of any sort would be good though as I cant talk to RL people cos they just say 'your not fat' (I clearly am) or something similar.

Sunny, you might want to consider doing 5:2 (or similar). Its very flexible and people adopt it not just as a 'diet' but as a longer term 'way of eating' - it seems to be sustainable. It has its own topic here - its not under 'weight loss' because while many people do it for that purpose (it works!) others do it for its health benefits. There is a general chatty support thread here which gives info and links in its OP.

thanks Errol, yes ive considered the 5:2 diet but have heard mixed reviews from people.

I may well go and have a nosey at the threads.

Sorry I was being vague about medical conditions, if It helps the main 2 are CFS and arthritis.

thanks again

There's mixed reviews on just about any diet or different way of eating - its all about what works for you and your lifestyle. Have a read and see what you think.