I'm stepping off the diet merry-go-round - anyone want to join me for small sustainable changes?

[becsbornunderadancingstar]

This is going to be long. Because I've done 'em all. Rosemary Conley, Weight Watchers, Primal/Paleo, Low Carb, South Beach, the Zone, Atkins, French Women don't get fat (they do, actually, I was on holiday in France this summer and French women are definitely getting fatter than they used to be), Slimming World, raw diets, ... Oh, lots and lots of different diets and 'ways of eating' etc. I did Paul McKenna 'I can make you thin' but unfortunately he couldn't. I've read every book on weight loss and diet and overeating etc.

I always stick to them 100% for at least three weeks and lose a lot of weight. Some I've stuck to for longer - up to a year... But after being on a diet for 32 years (I'm 40) I am overweight - and I was a skinny child.

I was talking to my lovely DH about this at the weekend, feeling really fed up about it and having a little cry. He pointed out that I'm always 'on a diet', or 'off the diet'. He suggested that I take my 'off the diet' eating pattern, which seems to be what I 'snap back' to, and just change one small thing about it, and stick with that change until it's a habit.

This goes against all of my instincts, I'm an all-or-nothing person - but I realise that this is the whole problem and that he's absolutely right. I know I'm going to find it really hard though. I normally go all-out on a diet. Just making one small change which won't result in lots of weight coming off at once is against my nature. It would be nice to find some others who want to do the same thing.

Here are my rules - just for me, you don't have to have the same ones as me...

• my first small change is to stop eating between meals. I'm not going to change my meals or stop eating dessert or anything. Just stop snacking. I'll eat three meals a day. I won't restrict portions for those meals and I'll eat what I would eat when 'off the diet'.
• because I think snacking for me fills an emotional need rather than a real hunger, I'm going to do something every day to fill those emotional needs in another way e.g. call a friend, paint my nails, declutter a drawer, make a gratitude list...(I've got a list of these in a notebook so I can refer to them and choose one a day.) Part of making 'no snacking' a habit I think is to replace the habit with other things that fill the same needs.

I'm not going to add any other rules until I'm sure that the 'no snacking' habit is established and I'm comfortable with it. After that I'll add another small change.

Would anyone like to join me on this one? - I could really do with some 'accountability buddies'!

[alphablock]

Hi everyone. How are you all getting on? Last week I gained half a pound for no apparent reason, but I then lost 2.5 lb in the last few days, so feeling pleased and relieved. 31 lb lost in total now (in 19 weeks) and hoping to lose another 9.5 by Christmas to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I will still need to lose another 4.5 stone in the New Year to get down to a BMI of 25, so still feel frustrated at times. I know I am doing well and I know that faster weight loss would not be sensible and I also feel confident that I have made long term changes to my eating habits and will be able to sustain this, but I also know I am still very fat and the weight I have lost has made very little difference to that.

Hmm, I need to get a grip as I sound far too negative! Hope you are all making some progress.

[DescribeTheRuckus]

Hi...I'd love to join you!! I stepped off the diet treadmill in April after being sick and tired of the on and off of dieting for 25 odd years (I'm 41). It's been a bit terrifying, especially because I've gained a stone since then, and get panicked about getting it off quick. My biggest problem is probably wine...I love a glass of wine in the evening, but it is becoming a daily habit, AND it's probably more calories that some of the meals I actually eat! So, that's my small change for this week: cutting out weekday wine, and maybe sticking to a smaller amount at the weekend. Our meals are mostly healthy...I love to cook, and have managed after several years of wroking at it, to get us mostly off processed stuff...lots of whole, 'real' food. I do need to watch my portion sizes, but one thing at a time...I'll start with the wine, and work from there!

Look forward to getting to know you all!

[FakeAngel]

Can I join you please ladies? I too am 100% done with yo-yoing and fasting and fadding and failing.
14 years ago I joined WW and went from 18st to 10st in under a year. I was 27 and it was my first real attempt at serious dieting and I was DELIGHTED. Unfortunately I got a little too excited and became addicted to the high weightloss gave me, and became anorexic. At my lowest I was under 7st. Then I met my now husband, who was also anorexic. We were so happy (still are!) and recovered together. Trouble is, I recovered a little too well and was soon 14.5st.
Cue more WW, more mega restricting, and in 10 months I was under 8st and heading back to anorexia.
I was so panicked, and DH so worried, I started to eat properly again. And eat. And eat. And yesterday I weighed and I'm 15st.
So, I need to do something sensible and long term. WW triggers my eating disorders, encouraging restriction as it does. And seeing me restricting is not good for DH, either. He's wonderful BTW, loves (and fancies!) me whatever size I am but actually likes me better on the bigger side. Anyway, I'm stopping snacking, as of today. One small change.
Also I used to walk 5-10 miles a day for exercise, but I now have RA, primarily in my feet, so that's banjaxed that.
I HAVE to sort this out. I'm 41 now - my mother's life was blighted by ill health due to her weight, leading to an early death in her late fifties. And I need to stop torturing myself (and my poor body).
Sorry this is so long but I needed to get it out. Thank you for listening :)

[DescribeTheRuckus]

Fake Angel: Ww did the same to me! I did not become anorexic, however, it started a very long pattern of the restriction/binge/compulsive eating pattern, and yet, the draw of that quick and easy weight loss is still so Damn appealing!
I've started with my nightly wine intake, and so far, so good.... haven't had any since Saturday night. It's actually helping me eat a little better, as well, because I don't have wine hunger in the evenings or when I wake in the morning.
Glad you are here with the intent to get healthy!

[Sleepwhenidie]

Hi everyone, as an evangelical anti-dieter I just wanted to drop in and say what you are doing is so much better as an approach than dieting. With regard to yo yo dieting and that sw consultant saying exercise isn't worth doing as it makes no difference , the reason yo yo diets are disastrous and in the long term, most people end up heavier after years of dieting and losing weight is that each time you lose weight, you lose fat and muscle (people seem to assume, for some reason, it is just fat). Two things happen as a result of this...your metabolism is reduced, because muscles burn many more calories than fat. Then when you regain weight, it is almost entirely composed of fat, because that is very easy for the body to create and retain. Muscle growth requires exercise and lots of protein, much harder work for your body. So each time you end back at the same weight, your body composition is different and on top of that your metabolism is further sensitised to hang on to calories in case you deprive your body of fuel again...and the cycle continues, further damaging your body each time you cut calories and lose weight, and ultimately, making it fatter! Just something to bear in mind whenever we are tempted by a crash diet, quick fix

Exercise and good food, eaten mindfully - avoiding empty calories, which leave your body demanding more food because it isn't properly nourished, is the real key.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Fakeangel snacking isn't necessarily bad you know. You may do better concentrating on simply avoiding sugar, processed food and white carbs...snack on nuts, avocado, protein, veggies, don't deprive yourself and end up feeling hungry or like you are having to use willpower to not eat things, it's never going to end well.

[INeedThatForkOff]

Hi done-with-dieters. I did say a few weeks ago that I was going to join in but have done precisely nothing about it. So with no further ado I am giving up snacking. That us a bit hard as I was about to go and finish off the massive bar of Dairy Milk with Crunchie that I we've been scoffing this weekend, but no, I'm going to clean my teeth and ignore it. I'm doing a home facial as we speak and had my hair cut and coloured earlier in the week. This is Operation Look After Myself

[Stillstarving]

I think this thread has gone a bit quiet but I'd like to join you if anyone's still there! I absolutely know that this is what I need to do and I'm becoming so much more aware of how I'm using food and wine to grab a bit of something for myself. Trouble is I've known this for a while and haven't changed it! Anyway I'm going to cut the snacking and the weekday wine for 3 weeks and see how it goes. I had been trying MFP but kept blowing it. My diet head says a small change like this won't be enough but what I've done up to now hasn't worked either so its worth a try .

[FakeAngel]

One week on and not a single snack has passed these lips. Not one. And I've not been hungry at all (apart from a healthy stomach rumbly thing about half an hour before mealtimes). Just goes to show, I didn't need the snacks in the first place. I'm having three square meals a day and I'm REALLY looking forward to/enjoying them.

We don't have scales in the house so don't know if/how much I've lost but my coat feels looser. And I just feel... Better. Sleeping really well too.

sleepwhenidie I haven't felt deprived at all - haven't needed to exercise willpower once. Just eating a sensible amount of healthy food at meals seems to be enough.

DescribeTheRuckus I am 100% done with WW. Apart from anything else it clearly doesn't work long term - this is the third time I've put loads back on. It's not a sensible, long term approach - nobody's going to count every single thing they put in their mouth, forever. God, who'd want to live like that?!

So, onward to weel two...

[FakeAngel]

*week :)

[Stillstarving]

Fakeangel I'm glad it's going so well for you, gives me encouragement. I've done 2 days without snacks or wine and truthfully it's the wine I'm struggling with it's become such a habit of grabbing time/ space for myself. I've managed so far though which I'm really pleased about and now I'm tucked up with the laptop to watch some tv in bed. Good luck with it.

[Stillstarving]

Talking to myself now..... Managed day 3 no snacks no wine

[alphablock]

Well done FakeAngel and StillStarving. The first few days of any change to eating habits are always the hardest, so it will get easier from now on.

[delasi]

May I join too?

Currently reading through the whole thread but the title alone spoke to me. I have a history of an unhealthy relationship with food. I managed to 'fix' this before falling pg with DS (now nearly 1yo). I carried this on with pregnancy but did end up keeping some pg weight (1 stone, have so far lost half of that), however giving birth seemed to send various hormones in a spin and due to an existing health condition I yo-yo'd between hyper with no appetite and super tired with rapid weight gain. This has calmed down now and the condition is back to normal, however it has completely messed up my way of eating and I feel down because of the weight loss plateau that has come with it.

I don't like diets - even if I did they no longer work for me! So it's all about a healthy way of eating for me. Had a number of set backs already, snacking is my major issue. Whilst fortunately I haven't really gained as a result, I am much more bloated so I look bigger and I feel a bit bleurgh. I've been trying to analyse differences between now and 1-2 years ago, and I'm noticing that my portion sizes seemed to have increased...

[TheDoctrineOfWho]

I'm going to try giving up lattes as my first small change. Wish me luck!

[delasi]

Just finished reading through everything, really great ideas - especially the 'me time' treat swap.

I also need to devise my own approach - I'm not looking to eat just 3 main meals and completely cut out snacks, for example, as that wouldn't work for me. But wanton snacking is my downfall. I get up at 8am (bed at midnight) and most days don't get home until 9-10pm. I can't just have breakfast and lunch between 8am and 10pm, I'd be ravenous! However I also don't have the time/opportunity to eat a regular dinner before I get home. So instead I need something more akin to breakfast, lunch and light tea, and then a light supper when I get in.

My first changes will be:

• better breakfast: started the day with some lovely porridge.
• better tea, lighter supper: light carbs at tea, eg a sandwich, something simpler like soup for supper.
• if I'm out and really hungry, then snack on fruit (tend to forget fruit exists ).
• chocolate cravings = mint Options: I know that for some people this wouldn't be breaking the habit, but this worked for me for a long time before until I eventually just moved away from chocolate needs. I find that it's just the chocolate taste that I want, plus the liquid seems to fill me up a bit too, so it's the best choice all around.

When I read it, it seems like a lot of changes for one day, so my top focus is breakfast (already done!) and the tea/supper issue.

[BerylsDailyKumquat]

Well done fakeangel on the no snacking, I struggle with this but today when I did snack I consciously went for something healthier by having a couple of slices of edam cheese instead of my usual sweet stuff.

delasi I had porridge and fruit for breakfast this morning, it really filled me up for hours and was also really delicious.

I'm still wheat free (name changed from Pinkcustard earlier in the thread) but failed miserably at my 'no wine during the week' rule (have been off work for half term and was also my birthday excuses). So I'm focusing on that one from today, aswell as making a conscience effort to eat healthier meals instead of not bothering to cook and then snacking on rubbish.

I was all geared up to give low carb a go, but have realised that that's just too drastic a change for me, and feel much happier about this gentler approach.

[delasi]

So far so good! It has been surprisingly hard not to snack, even knowing that I'm not hungry. I had a good lunch - I usually do, in terms of being healthy from my point of view (today was rice, a small bit of stewed lamb and steamed green beans) but my portion sizes have been growing, so I made a conscious effort to not go so crazy on the rice and I had a larger portion of veg instead. I like meat but not in big portions so I'm usually pretty controlled on that front.

For those looking to curb cravings, good quality nut butters are great. They are nutrient dense and satisfy the urge for sweet and salty things. Whilst they don't seem an obvious choice to some due to the high fat content, it's good fat Just a small amount is needed, I can't stand peanuts and hated the thought of nut butter but I'm a huge fan of almond butter, a pot lasts me ages and because of the natural oil a small amount actually spreads quite far! I probably have about a teaspoon on a slice of toast. It's also a good source of protein, monounsaturated fats, magnesium, phosphorous and potassium.

Um, I'll stop with the nut butter sales talk now...

[Dumberanddumber]

Will post properly tomorrow when i have had chance to read more of the existing thread, just wanted to post so i can find this again more easily as my phone keeps crashing.

[Dumberanddumber]

Ok so I have finally finished the whole thread ans am feeling inspired. I hope there are still other people around following this.

I gave up dieting a few years ago, since then my weight has remained stable but is very high (BMI 35+). I now need to think about small changes to my unhealthy lifestyle.

My plan is to start by keeping a food diary for a couple of weeks so I can identify what changes I need to make. I have recently started maternity leave so my habits have changed from when I was working full time - I need to write everything down so I can see where the problem areas are.

I am going to review in 1 week, if I have not been doing this I will look at what is stopping me and what I can do to change it so I don't end up losing focus and doing nothing.

My baby is due in a few weeks so I am also going to expect that the first few weeks with a new baby might not be the best time to try to change habits. So if I am struggling i will give myself a break but will plan a date (maybe a week later) to try again. Otherwise another 6 or 12 months will slip by without me making any changes to my unhealthy eating habits.

My aim is to move towards eating a sustainable, healthy balanced diet and a more active lifestyle. For my own health and also for the health of the rest of the family and to set a good example to the DCs.

Will update with progress in a week if not sooner. Hope I am not talking to myself :)

[FakeAngel]

Just checking in.

Two weeks yesterday since I last snacked and I've dropped a dress size. I am absolutely, 100%, definitely NOT on a diet and yet, I've dropped a dress size in a fortnight. I'm not hungry, I don't feel in any way deprived (I have a bit of what I fancy every day AT MEALTIMES) and still, I seem to be losing weight. Crackers.

All I really wanted out of this was to, just maybe, end up with a healthy relationship with food. It's very early days but so far, so good - and if I lose weight along the way, so much the better.

I'm looking forward to meals and enjoying them and crucially, this past two weeks - for maybe the first time in my adult life - I have felt not one twinge of food-related guilt. You cannot imagine how liberating that feels.

Oh and my three meals consist of roughly 800 cals between breakfast and lunch, and 800 or so at dinnertime. Although I am NOT counting calories at all, that's just to give you an idea of what I'm eating.

I feel I can totally live with this. It feels 'normal'. Guilt-free mince pie after dinner? Almond croissant for breakfast if I fancy one? Still lose weight? Hell yeah.

Come on week three! :)

[delasi]

I'm still here...

Dumber Best wishes for you and your baby on the way! Fwiw when I had DS (born last winter), I had a very normal appetite until the last 6 weeks at which point I became ravenous. Then, once he was born, my whole appetite just disappeared. I was just really thirsty but didn't feel like eating for weeks. DH kept appearing with plates of food as he was worried, he was dubious when the MWs told him it was normal (he questioned them about it!).

Anyways, what I'm trying to say with all of that is, there are bound to be natural ups and downs with the hormones of pregnancy, child birth and postpartum, so take your observations during that time with a pinch of salt. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a look at your habits now and onwards though, I think it's positive and healthy actually, but the last thing you need to think when you're 1 week pp is, "Argh, I snacked!"

FakeAngel Thank you for your update, it's motivational! And congrats!

I'm only a couple of days in, but I have already noticed a difference. Bloating has almost disappeared, which means I feel and look better. I'm also less hungry - I find a rubbish diet and snacking leads to further cravings, whereas being healthy, moderate, still allowing 'treats', means that I am much more satisfied even though I am eating less. This thread has really helped me to get back into that healthy mindset.

I'm not one to obsess on the scales, however typically when I start doing something different I always have this urge to weigh myself after 7 days so I have made a commitment to myself to leave it at least 2 weeks and just focus on my wellbeing.

[Dumberanddumber]

This thread seems to be dying.I am not very good at posting very regularly and expect it will get worse once new baby arrives.

Thanks delasi - I am not planning to be too strict on myself, just want to make sure that I am thinking about my health and making a commitment to keep trying. So if i am struggling in the first few weeks I will have a break but plan when to start again otherwise I will end up not doing anything for another 6/12 months.

I have found since I have stopped working that snacking isn't too much of a problem. I have my 2 yr old DD at home with me and she wants whatever I have so if I do snack it tends to be on fruit. Also I have more time to make more filing meals so am having porridge for breakfast rather than a cereal bar on the way to work.

I think my changes will be positive ones like going for short walks regularly (once baby is born) and eating more vegetables - these need a bit of refining to make them into small changes that can be done easily every day. Eat more vegetables is a bit too vague on its own.

Glad other people are finding that small sustainable changes are working for them.

[alphablock]

I'm still keeping an eye on this thread even though it's not getting many new posts! Well done Fake Angel it sounds like you are doing really well and you are finding this experience as enlightening as I am. Hope it's still going well for you too Delasi.

My attitude to food is so different these days and I am amazed at how much I can eat and still lose weight. Total weight loss is now 37.5 lb, yippee! Only 67 to go :).

Had a great day yesterday as I went to lunch with a friend so planned my eating carefully - skipped breakfast, went to the gym, ordered beef and red wine pie (which was probably the most unhealthy option on the menu) and thoroughly enjoyed it, but left some of the pastry and some potatoes as I was so full (and decided I really couldn't manage a dessert). Finished the day with a light tea. My reward was that I was 1 lb lighter this morning despite having had a fab treat. In the past I would have just decided the day was a right off due to my lunch date and treated myself all day.

Hope everyone on this thread has made some progress and updates us soon!

[TheDoctrineOfWho]

Well done Fake and alpha!