I'm a fat mess, I really need help, I'm an emotinal eater and just a pig!

[AppleJuiceRocks]

I'm at the end of my tether and becoming seriously down,

Since having my first child 8 years ago I've gone up and down with pregnancies but have NEVER been 'slim' again since my first pregnancy.

And for the whole 8 years I've HATED my body. I have depression and i eat ALOT. I'm a pig, I'm being tough on myself here because I need to face up to it!

I asked my husband to get me a packet of cookies when he was out, he came back with a packet of 8 large cookies at about 2pm. I've eaten 6 :(

I just hate myself.

Im 5ft 5 and I got myself down to 12 stone after xmas, my goal was 10 stone 5.

I got pissed off with it and just started eating badly again (it was bloody hard for me to loose the weight)

I just weighed myself and I'm back to 13 stone 3!

I just keep putting on a stone, loosing it but never loosing more, then gaining it again.

I've tried WW, SW, Exante and Slim and Save.

I hate having sex with my husband because I feel gigantic. He's not seen me naked in years, I won't even take my bra off during sex.

I'm so so sad. I need help :(

Has anyone been in this cycle and beaten it? How??

talkin and slubberdeltrin - please pass the lecture on if you ever think it would be helpful to someone else, it was past to me and really made me realise so much.

Op I hope that you know you are not to be hard on yourself and watch the link to the video as it explains a lot about what people are up against and how we can help ourself.

i went shopping today and for the last year since I saw that video I don't buy anything with HFCS in - most jams and marmalade have it- but there are a few with plain old sugar. Ice cream is going to be home made this year if it ever gets hot - as I can't find ice cream without hfcs. I even found it in tartar sauce . Hot chocolate is another culprit but there are makes without.

I am similar to you. I am now on ww as it is the easiest of all the diets for me but all of them work. As someone on here said to me just pick one and stick to it! You shouldn't hate yourself there are lots of overweight people out there :) Don't try and rush it by giving yourself time limits. Just choose a diet and stick to it. I like the ones with support like ww or sw personally. Do some exercise too. I go out for an hours walk a day or do an exercise dvd. Exercise will help tone you up - even if you only have time to do it 3 times a week for an hour just do it. No excuses. You will feel so much better you just need to make that decision and go for it. I know it isn't easy but you can do it I promise!

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway, we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

Wow i know exactly how you feel as i feel exactly the same....in all aspects of your post...i however am going abroad in three weeks and dreading being the whale by the pool or beach.

Ive been so obsessed with the whole dieting exercise thing that its almost controlled my life....and i still weigh more than you hun.

Ive decided basically fack it!! Im gonna eat healthy cut out the crap be aware of what im eating exercise a few times a week and drink plenty of water.

I just want you to know ur not alone xxx

hiya., well im sat here scoffing a dish full of freshly popped pop corn - out of sheer boredom. could some one explain the 5:2 diet a bit more please because slimming world isnt working!! thanks

sharonloumac in summary 5:2 involves 2 non-consecutive days "fasting" on just 500 calories each day and 5 days eating normally (but not over-eating). There are slightly different ways of doing it and you should explore the 5:2 section on this site. Average loss per week is 1 lbs so it's not a quick fix but because, generally, you are only thinking about "dieting" twice a week many find it an easy and sustainable route to weightloss.

Plus fasting has many reported health benefits so many (including myself) continue to fast even though weight loss is no longer our goal.

Just a quick post now as I'm off to bed but I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm a terrible emotional eater. I have terrible eating habits and probably some kind of eating disorder.
I despise myself, my body, what I have become and what I can no longer control.
I am an all or nothing.
Starve or binge.
It's disgusting and I wish I could stop it.
So not any real help but don't think you're alone!
I'd love to know how to stop it as I've tried every diet going and I KNOW what to do but doing it is a different matter altogether.

Oh Apple I could have written this 18 months ago (except my weight went up and up rather than up and down!) The key is in the emotional eater part. You need to tackle why you eat the way you do. A diet isn't the cure.

I agree with posters who have suggested exercise. I feel much better if I do. You need to tackle how you feel and not try and use food to feel better. (Yeah sooo easy right!(

I've tried to make the right choices. I've lost weight but it is a journey. Think a daily marathon rather than a sprint.

Good luck!

I could've written your post!
I've eaten loads of choccy biscuits today.

I am an inch taller and a stone heavier.

I have been stuck in a rut since having my first son who is nearly 8.

Just joined my local gym and have been swimming 3 times a week and feel better for it. I just need to get my eating habits sorted now. I'm a total sugar addict.

Do a search on here for the Harcombe Diet. It starts with a 5 day detox which is hard, but it's not for long and really does crack the sugar addiction.

Thanks so much everyone, I apologise for not returning sooner, I've been busy.

Firstly thank you again for all the kind words of support.

I eat because I'm bored, I eat because I'm sad, I eat because I hate my figure (??!) I really do need to stop this.

I'm going to be 30 soon, like every woman I'm dreading it but only because I'm going reach 30 feeling shit about myself and I know I could be fab, fit and 30 if I want to be but I'm too scared to set that goal because I've been setting goals and FAILING for years.

Exercise is the key, I know this but on top of my depression I have anxiety so it makes it very difficult for me to get out of the house. I'm sure my anxiety/ depression is linked to my sadness because of my weight so its a horrid circle!

I will watch the video and try to do something, I really need to x

Try Overeaters Anonymous

I have found that good old fashioned and much derided calorie counting coupled with upping my exercise has really worked for me - I lost 2.5 stone in eight months and have maintained it for six so far.

I do agree that refined sugar is addictive - I "gave this up" and lost the cravings which led to binges.

OP, how about setting very small goals rather than one large one?

I have just started the 5:2 way of life. Found it really easy and it gives me a buzz to find foods that make me full and are low on calories.

I have also logged on to MyFitnessPal. Helps keep a record of what you eat and how many calories you eat/have left and you can also log exercise. It is very helpful.

Please be kind to yourself OP and do small steps x

I don't think 5:2 would be good for me with my habits, I want to kick them rather than think 'i can do this for 5 days as long as I'm good on 2'

Thats not a criticism of the 5:2 diet, just of my own problems. I can see how it could work for alot of people, but not in my situation.

Don't know if this will help
I'm the same height as you and right now I would love to be your weight
I know what I wore at that weight, and I looked good, obviously overweight, but I don't believe you can look that bad

Please don't give yourself a hard time
Just decide that you are going to do it!!

Applejuice, I've re-read your OP and I'm in exactly the same cycle as you. I know that the food I eat makes me lethargic and miserable. Refined wheat products, sugar highs and lows, IBS.

Cutting out anything with wheat in could really help you, as could not eating carbs with your protein (google All About You Harcombe Diet). I'm doing WW because I found a group I really like and going to meetings keeps me focussed. But as soon as something comes up, a birthday, holiday etc I fall off the wagon with a massive crash.

I have trouble with low carbing as I don't like alot of meat. I've been on and off veggie, but do eat meat now but not enough to LC.

You are eating to hide
and hiding because you have eaten
but underneath the food you are beautiful

when did you last feel beautiful?
hook a little corner of a toenail of you onto that moment and retrace your steps

bollocks to all that scales and food groups stuff.
"this hour I am already beautiful so I do not need a snack"
add those single hours together
make the meals between them beautiful

kids LOVE pretty meals
and DH's have grollies that can be kicked

meal times are the best : enjoy them and lose the bits between
that way happiness lies

I have lost 2.5 stones through very low carbing. No bread, potatoes, pasta or rice. Just lean meat, fish and veg.
Took will power but worth it.

I am maintaining by low carbing mon-fri ( no bread, potatoes or pasta, but some rice and couscous), and eating whatever I please at the weekends.

and that IS the secret
enjoy the weekend - be good in the week
and the weekend food frenzy is only 2 meals a day anyway

Hi,

I'm sorry you are feeling so low, its horrible that weight can have such an awful effect on our emotional well being.

I've lost weight through propointing but not on ww as its too expensive but through value diary app on the phone. I've been going for 3 months and have lost 2 stone.

The big thing for me is that I can be strict in the week with fruit, yoghurt and coffee at breakfast/through the morning then salad with protein and a little carb at lunch, an example would be chicken salad, a couple of ryvitas with low fat cheese spread and a cereal bar, then a hot choc (options) in the afternoon with veg & a few almonds to snack on. I have a normal dinner with limited carbs and keep my portion smallish, this allows a small bedtime treat like a milky bar or hot choc.

Weekends I use my 'weeklies' so calories saved from the week. I still follow the above to a degree but have a more substantial breakfast eaten at leisure! and I have all my extra points for wine, a few sweet treats etc. I know I can eat 'out' and I lost 1 & 1/2 lb on an all inc holiday.

I don't think it matters what diet you follow as long as you don't limit things to the point you feel deprived, you have to live a diet, maintain it and not feel bloody rotten all the time you are doing it. I love cheese sauce, love it!! so I have a few mouthfuls. I love wine, complete lush, so I limit it to one bottle a week but fill the gaps with vodka and no cal mixers when I need a drink, I make sure I track alcohol. Pudding is tricky!! tonight we have mixed berries in orange juice and honey with meringue (Only 1 point each for the nests, really low fat but bear in mind the sugar!) and squirty cream, I think there is also marshmallows of the mini variety! I'll make sure I have plenty of fruit and a little of the treaty stuff.

I never thought I could lose weight, I am big boned (if you can have petite you can have big bones/build) and thought I would always be a certain size but I was wrong. I still have swimmers shoulders and a ribcage wider than most but I am getting towards slim!! But I was wrong, it can be done, it just has to be done in a way that suits you, that you can live with on the journey it takes. Cutting out whole food groups is great for some, but misery for others! I have learnt to eat what I want, but to do it in such a way that is balanced, so we just had bbq, I had lots of salad, loads, but also had Halloumi, chicken, a little bit of sausage, a vodka and ww juice. I cant eat bread so it doesn't factor but I did have butternut squash and chickpea with chilli salad, so carbs and that unmissable creamy white carbness!

I'm not saying my way is going to work for you, but I wanted to share in case some of it does. Wishing you lots of love and luck xx

I know how you feel as I'm like this too. I've tried low carb and find it difficult. I'm happy eating lots of vegetables, pulses and some meat.

How bad is your anxiety? Serious enough to get help for it?

I lose weight when I'm out of the house a lot. I have decided to make myself busy and eat only 3 proper meals a day.
I'll have to especially plan my lunches. If I don't eat properly, I don't feel satisfied and end up picking.
I'm making myself busy by scheduling in housework, walks, exercise dvd, play groups, activities with kids and meeting friends. I'm prepping food or using the slow cooker in the mornings so I can spend the day doing what I want knowing theres healthy food at home.

I know this sounds sad but my aim is to look fab in a dress (an every day dress, not even a special one!) and feel confident enough to go swimming with dcs.

Thanks again everyone for the kind words,

Beechview I'm on meds and also on a waiting list for CBT.

Peach, its really helpful to hear someones been in my situation and is beating it, and well done, 2 stone is amazing!

Well yesterday I got up and I walked to Aldi with one of my sons, Bought lots of fruit and veg and walked home, ate well all day (weetabix for brekkie, salad, ham, yogurt, fruit for lunch and cod, new pots, veg and salad for tea. I also drank lots of water.

So I'm making the steps to do it :)

Pat yourself on the back.
Every good day reinforces that you can do it.
And the sun is shining.

AppleJuiceRocks just take it one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up for yesterday or stress about tomorrow, focus on being healthy today.