Week 5 - New Year Low Carb Bootcamp - We Reach the Halfway Point!

[BIWI]

Sorry for the late start to this thread. I had an appointment at my gym for an induction this morning.

If you haven't already, put yourself on the Spreadsheet of Fabulousness

Good luck for the week!

I drank a LOT of fruit teas when I gave up caffeine for about 5-6 years (naturally this was pre DS when the world revolved around me and sleep was a given, oh how quickly that changed when he came along ) and my only tip for mumat39 is that most of them need to brew for a lot longer than you think to get the full flavour. I used to leave the bag in the cup for over 5 minutes so it was really dark. Funnily enough, I prefer chamomile and peppermint quite weak, just a dunk swoosh and out, but fruity ones like raspberry, strawberry or blackcurrant are much nicer the stronger they are.

Ahhh, it is good to hear that others are in the same boat.

The culprit in my house is DS (4). He is soo sensitive and anything can set him off. Once he's unhappy it's like someone has turned a switch in him and he completely shuts down and becomes totally uncommunicative. He won't say whats wrong, won't talk to you, won't do anything that you ask him to. Things just tend to escalate from there. And nothing seems to work. I try cajoling, jollying along, ignoring (he doesn't like to be ignored) and eventually I get cross and start shouting. He works himself up in to such a state and I know that at this point he genuinely has no idea how to articulate his feelings, or even know what is wrong. But it's also like he's hell-bent on continuing down this course, and I can see on his face that he doesn't really want to be doing it, but it's almost like he thinks well i've started now so I have to see it through. All very tricky to manage at 8.30 in the morning when you're just about to step out the door for school! Arrrgh, I thought boys were meant to be easier?!

Anyway, sorry for the thread hi-jack.

Twinings chai tea with cream and coconut is a surprisingly filling drink.

I'm an ex sw16 and got married in sw19! Now Kent though

Gless & Mumat, I found it very hard to start (and there were many occasions when I lost it & ended up shouting) but I stuck with it and also developed a little arsenal of consequences. Alot of it will depend on what your likeschild.

So when mine were about 5 or so, they had a favourite TV programme, they loved really long bubble baths, they had favourite toys & games etc. DS was food motivated, so the after dinner treat worked for him, but DD couldn't give a toss about food, so was of no use with her. You have to have some consequences in your head, because otherwise under pressure you end up floundering around & it sounds weak. You also have to carry through, no matter how tough it seems.

I would also "motivate" (basically bribing), so I'd say "If you sit nicely at the table & eat your lunch, then we can play xxxx." I still do this now, so I say to them "if you help me bring in all the laundry & do the hoovering, we'll have more time to head over to the bowling alley / golf range / Claire's Accessories" etc.

The other thing that works well, when you are in a bit of a negative shouty phase is to try and find something that they have done to praise. It can be something as small as "oh, you drank your squash nicely" or "you walked home from school well today / sat in the car nicely". It can sometimes just break the cycle.

My son also has autism (aspergers). Immediate logical consequences are what is needed. Ie they lose something or an activity linked with the behaviors. Unfortunately for me it has got more difficult as he has got bigger

Re teas - I used to drink loads of coffee, but had a miscarriage a few years ago and got it in my head it was due to the cafffiene. So i switched to green tea, then to white tea, which i drink very weak. Now i drink rooibos black but weak (1 teabag is 2 cups - big mugs too!)

Dangerosusmouse - are you? Surrey side or sussex side? I work at gatwick and can walk to work in about 15 mins.

" first" and "then" is a typical behavior management technique as post has shown. Knowing that they get something out of it can sometimes motivate the most unmotivated.

at 'dunk, swoosh and out' as making tea method!

Hugs to those of you exhausted/fed up/difficult kids. My DS is 2 and definitely starting to test boundaries, but feel like i dont spend enough time with him at the moment (when i'm not at work am revising for evil exams, other than fridays) so it's not as taxing as if it's all the time.

Feel very proud of myself for getting through 3 gruelling 12 hour night shifts without cheating, always finish nights feeling a bit dehydrated though and take a few days to catch up?

I recommend lemon and ginger tea btw, a bit of zing.

Don't apologise for the hijack - I think all these stressful things are when we start to think about having that extra cup of tea or a biscuit or just a small bit of chocolate or something else we associate with comfort that is carby. Getting it all off our chests here hopefully means we all realise that we have similar issues and therefore it is normal and instead will enjoy our fruit teas and cheese snacks!!!

DD is just 3, and really starting to frustrate me at times. I have really tried staying calm, really choosing which battles to fight and when (I HATE it when I start to make a point of something and then it escalates out of control and then I think afterwards who gives a shit if she wanted two pairs of socks on in bed and her pyjama bottoms on back to front) so I have been working hard to ignore as much as I can basically unless it is dangerous or rude/might hurt others.

At bedtime she chooses 3 books for us to read her and then she has 'bunnies book' after that. If I need her to do something I count down from three slowly and if I get to 1 before she has done what I have asked then she loses one of her bedtime stories - this only works for her because she hates that happening and on the odd occaision it does spends all the next day telling me she is being a good girl and will have three books that night! Not an immediate consequence but it works for her.

Because I am a teacher and I know you are supposed to praise more than tell off, I also try to use stickers with her as rewards. Either I just give her one and tell her what it is for and she proudly wears it, or if there is something specific she is being a pest about I make a reward chart (the other month it was for good manners which basically meant don't scream and throw yourself on the ground hysterically when you don't get your own way instantly). If she fills the chart she was allowed to buy something with the twenty pence pieces she collects in her money box!!!

OF course that is my plan, not always what happens. So much easier to type that than do it of course .

I'm sorry to hear of all your small child-related woes. I can't really help much, seeing as wot mine are now 20 and 17! I do remember being a bit of a shouty mummy though . When I look back, if I could give myself some advice, I would say to my younger self "does it really matter so much if he wants to do xxxx?" Sometimes, I realise, I was battling with them just to prove that I was in charge! Silly power struggles that actually don't make anything any better. So they get to wear the socks they want to? Who cares?! (A silly example, but sometimes it's very easy to get wound up over the minutiae of life).

Sounds like a meet up sooner rather than later would be a very good idea to cheer us all up!

I've had my induction at the new gym, and I've been a couple of times. I've also completed my third C25K run this week, so feeling very proud of myself. But I'm also feeling unaccountably sad about leaving the other gym. And my trainer hasn't been in touch about continuing with him, and I feel a bit like I've been dumped. I know that must sound silly, but that is, indeed, how I feel!

mrshp my parents did the losing a story at bedtime consequence too (though it always made my mum sad because she liked bedtime stories, i expect it's the same for you all when withdrawing fun things except for softplay by all accounts)

i agree with mrshp too about not worrying about 'hijacking' - stress, tiredness, sadness, anything that affects your peace of mind are all intrinsically linked with how we eat and how we treat ourselves, so it's important to talk these things through. this WOE is about looking after body and mind, so anything that affects physical and mental wellbeing is up for discussion. and everyone is of different ages, with different life and parenting experiences so there's always someone who can help, or at least give a virtual hug

Thanks everyone for all your advice and kind words, it means a lot.

I do threaten him with things being taken away and I do go through with it. So for this morning's meltdown he is going without pudding after his dinner tonight and he is not allowed to wear his Spiderman suit tomorrow. But he always tries to call my bluff when I issue these warnings. So for example, me telling him I'm taking away his spiderman suit, he'll go one further and state that he doesn't want it anymore and he's going to throw it in the bin. Of course I know that he doesn't mean it. But the main thing for me is how to deal with the immediate bad behaviour, for instances where threatening something just doesn't cut it. I'm talking things like taking his coat and his shoes back off when I've just put them on him, refusing to leave the house, refusing to get in the car, just basically being as un-coperative as he can possibly be.

Quick thanks for thinking about me & my Zumbathon its from 10am til 6pm, non stop - eeeeek!

Mumat39 - I think all parents have days like that :( The slow cooker has become my best friend - prep it in the morning, and then dinner is ready when my kids have gone to bed! Are you taking any supplements? I take a strong magnesium before bed, and it helps me relax & sleep. I found an amazing herbal tea by Twinnings - cherry & cinnamon! Its lovely, and very calming. I also drink peppermint tea, which is supposed to relax you for bed too as it is caffeine free.

Rollergirl I also have a sensitive 4 year old boy! He was a very easy baby but he sure is making up for it now :(

Have stocked up on snacks for tomorrow. A bag of brazil nuts (packet says 3.1g carbs per 100g, can that be right?), babybel cheese, sugar free Red Bull, a sugar free "enery shot" thing and as an emergency only - a thing called "energy chocolate"! That will be a final resort though, as it doesnt sound very appetising :( Asda are donating free fruit & sweets - useless for me :(

I will try & log on when I finish tomorrow night - if I make it Huge thanks to those who have sponsored me, its a very worthy cause and I am very grateful :) Wish me luck!

black I missed the sponsorship details but good luck and please post again and I'll sponsor you!

to all you who are down today. We are nearly halfway through and you've all been doing so well. Even if you are down because you have slipped up, just think how much better you have eaten over the past few weeks and how far you have come.

Bellum and slummy - thanks for the advice - I too am a too shouty mummy and need to get control of it - DS2 diagnosed last June with autism, and DD has alot of the traits - possibly not enough to be diagnosed (would be aspergers as language has always been very good) but definitely enough to make parenting a real struggle. Always seem to be fighting/clashing with her at the moment - like roller she would happily throw the spiderman suit in the bin and cut off her nose to spite her face. Saw the family psychologist yesterday who said most of what I am struggling with her with are developmental rather than behavioural issues - ie due to how DD is rather than my parenting - which was a huge weight off my mind as have been feeling really guilty that I'm a bad mother etc etc - but doing an autism course for DS2 at the moment which hopefully will help me be a better parent to DD.

Anyway. That was a bit of a ramble but yes I think airing these things is good as agree is at these times that one reaches for the biscuits (or in my case, wine).

Looking forward to trying the flax bread - thanks for that one.

And BIWI well done on the running and sorry to hear about the trainer being flaky - hopefully is just some other stress in their life and they will be back in touch soon.

You are all so so lovely. I felt really grumpy when I posted and then immediately felt bad for hijacking the post, so it's a relief that it's ok to have done so.

Roller, my dd is exactly the same. She would also throw the Spider-Man suit away. I remember one time saying I was going to take her favourite toy away. Stupidly I asked her what it was, to which she replied 'all of DS's toys'. That made me laugh, so I didn't manage to deal with that particular situation. I also need help with the immediate discipline. If I tell the dc to o and sit on the naughty step or up to their room, I just get shouted at with a no, and then the tears start. I know this is developmental, but not being able to handle it is not helping the situation for me.

Yesterday she did something so I said no chocolate. So she just screamed and screamed and screamed and howled. Honestly our neighbours must wonder what I'm doing to her sometimes. She also gets stuck in a cycle of crying and just carries on and on. BIWI, you are right, I am sometimes determined that she will listen to me, but of course that doesn't work. I think being tired doesn't help though so hopefully the suggestions of reading a good book before bed as well as some of the tea ideas will help me get a restful sleep.

Iamslummymummy, I used to be successful with the first and then thing, until the dc started repeating it back to me. So they would reverse it o say ifi don't do y then they won't do x.

Pjlover, that sounds like long shifts! Well done for sticking with the woe despite that. Do you work somewhere with vending machines? They'd be my downfall!

Black, hope you're feeling a bit better. Thanks for the tip about the tea. That does sound yummy. Good luck for tomorrow. I also missed the sponsorship info, so if you can post it again, please do and I'll sponsor you. Re the magnesium supplement, is there a good dose to go for? I know a lot of multivitamins only give the bare minimum, but i feel like I'd need a boost of it, and maybe potassium too. Thanks again.

Thanks everyone. Hope you all have a really good weekend and that we all stay firmly seated on the wagon!

Xxxx

Takeaway curry tonight.....what to have, what to have....

Well I'm feeling proud of myself today! I went to the gym for the first time since October... I was quite poorly up until xmas with anemia and since then had convinced myself I was too fat to go to the gym (how's that for self destructive?? )
I was completely rubbish, I only did 20mins on the treadmill doing intervals and then a lot of walking uphill and 30 mins of weights I would have laughed at 3 months ago. I was completely destroyed, but it felt amazing to be back! I used to be a 2 hours 4 days a week person so it was a bit strange to be back at the beginning huffing and puffing with bambi legs again!
I also managed to get a hollywood wax by accident today.
Have eaten:
B- creamy coffee
About 10.30 - bacon eggs and 3 cherry toms fried in butter
L - half a chicken breast, babybel (ran out of time between gym and waxing incident!)
S - Mr. Porkies.
D - will be beef shin with mashed swede and cabbage :)

Ooh Dosh, get Lamb Shaslick and spinach bhajee - Lu-u-ush!

Chicken shaslick and mushroom bhaji

How do you get a Hollywood wax by accident?

Good luck for tomorrow, BlackAffronted. You're a better man than I!

Lol! I went for a brazilian (never had one before - assumed she would ask me how much I wanted left on) and she just left me with a weird straggly looking line of muff! So I asked her to take it all off because I think if DP saw the straggly line he would die of laughter! I now resemble a plucked chicken but anything is better than straggly muff... He's so gonna laugh at me anyway

Have you had the whole lot off?

Yes! Even my bum hair...

OMG! I'm a regular waxer, but only do the trimmings! I couldn't bear the thought of bearing all to someone just for a wax! I know I flashed everything when giving birth, but that was a bit different