Do you ever, ever feel thin enough?

[GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt]

I am just feeling a bit pissed off and perhaps need a kick up the arse.

My weight has fluctuated wildly in the last year, I have been rather ill with a chronic condition and had to take all sorts, including strong steroids etc. So initially lost weight, then put it all back on plus an extra 2 stone, then lost it, then put some on again, then lost it again (have now cut down steroids which helps).

My normal weight is 10 - 10 stone 7. Anything above that I feel very large.

I am down to 10 stone 2 now and look in the mirror and just think I look huge. Normally at this weight I feel thin, now I don't. I know it is incredibly shallow but I feel depressed. I look like shit. I do train (Jillian Michaels stuff and mild weight training) so am toned, my stomach is defined looking, but all I see is back fat, arm wobbles, fucking cellulite everywhere and general shitness.

I am feeling down in the dumps anyway about various things, but wonder if the fact I have lost and put on so much weight in a year means I don't look very good, skin tone or something.

Oh I don't know. I just want to feel normal again (i.e. slim like i usually am).

I thought I'd be happy when I got back down to 8st, but somehow I'm not. For me I think it's because I have more fat (and presumably less muscle) than when I was previously this weight, so I don't look as good, and I am actually bigger (I don't fit into some of the clothes I used to).

That doesn't sound like the case for you though, if you exercise and do weights etc. Are you actually bigger (measurements, clothes sizes etc) than you'd expect at that weight, or do you think it's just perception? I always think I look hideous when I'm feeling a bit down generally. You very likely look slimmer and better than you think you do.

I don't really think about it tbh. I do ask 'Am I fit enough?' though.

Thanks very much - rambling helps!

I am six foot so not overweight at all, but I am very fine boned (iyswim) so don't carry extra weight very well.

I just looked in the mirror dispassionately this morning and think I look fat. I know I am not fat at this weight, but I just look awful. All flabby and slack skinned.

Measurements are probably the same going by my jeans etc - I have measured myself recently but have no idea what my measurements were anyway before the illness.

I think the main concern for a year has been 'am I healthy enough' - and I have worked hard to ensure that I got better.

But now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel re health I am thinking again about what I look like. And I think I look like a sack o' spuds.

Having said that, when I was 19 and weighed 7st I firmly believed I was a bit fat, but can see looking back at photos that I was obviously slim. You can't always trust your own perceptions, especially when it comes to something like weight and appearance that's so tied up with self-esteem etc.

Getorf you are obviously a willowy vision of loveliness.

I don't think I could ask anyone objectively as they would just auto-answer 'noyourenotfatdontbestupid' without looking at me.

Oh you poor love. There is very little worse than hating the look of your own body and not knowing what to do about it.

You don't sound overweight at all, to me.

In answer to the Q yes, I feel thin enough at about 8 and a half stone but still have flabby bits even then (I'm 5ft7 so much shorter than you).
Once I get towards 9 stone I feel less good about it...but I live with it.

I was badly anorexic in my twenties and nearly died, but that wasn't about being thin really, more to do with eating in itself iyswim, so I have felt quite good and solid being a healthy weight even though I retain some eating issues even now.

Sorry you have been ill. I think that can really knock your sense of wellbeing and self image al by itself - I was ill for four months once and coming back from that was dead hard, in all sorts of ways, I had to learn to like my body again as part of it.

Perhaps this is somethingto do with it?

Probably your weight is absolutely fine but you may need to target your exercises a little more...

Also you mention that your weight has fluctuated and sometimes it takes skin a while to catch up as it has lost elasticity. Drinking enough water, body brushing and moisturising will all help your skin.

Ed - I am so sorry that you were so ill. That must have been incredibly hard to come back from.

I think the illness hasa lot to do with it. I don't look or feel like myself any more to be honest.

I will give the body brushing a go again, I did try it but it bloody hurt

Thanks Getorf. It was a while ago, I'm old now

Hopefully after a while - and stop looking at yourself naked - you will have that confidence back and suddenly your body won't seem so much like a stranger.

I think sometimes it is helpful to stand there and do a reality check - but maybe not till you are less affected emotionally, and physically, by what you have just recently been through.

A bit like when you cut yourself badly and can't look at it for a few minutes - give yourself that time to adjust. It will take time, that's normal, and you're allowed not to force the issue, and not to look if it makes you uncomfortable for now and you feel better not looking iyswim.

Concentrate on the positive bits, the things you can encourage yourself with, the stuff that's much better already. You sound like you are doing really well x

No :(

About 8 years ago I was 24 and was 7 stone (pre kids) through a combination of stress at work, being in an unhappy relationship and general depression, but was also dieting like mad as well

I didn't feel thin enough yet looking back at photo's I was tiny and so skinny. I only stopped dieting when my hair started coming out in handfuls cos i was so malnourished :(

I am 8 stone 5 now and quite toned thanks to the 30 day Shred :o but still sometimes feel "fat"

Don't us women torture ourselves eh?

and FGS woman I never train, and never want to so I am well impressed at all that

I wonder if one day it might become a necessity. I think all my friends and acquaintances go to the gym. I can't stand the place

It doesn't sound like you should be trying to lose any more weight, that's already a low-ish weight for your height.

I agree about looking after your skin, and I know it sounds trite, but things like a good haircut, treating yourself to nice clothes etc, can all help with your confidence and finding yourself again.

Sometimes it just takes a while to feel normal again after you've been ill, give yourself time.

Thank you everyone, this helps. I do feel like I haven't been able to see the wood for the trees.

I am very vain though and hate feeling that I look so shitty. I do eat very healthily and don't drink, so can't do much more that end. I think it will just need a bit more time.

No I don't think I'll ever think I'm thin enough. Used to feel thin at 9.7st but not now, just look in the mirror and see splodge. I fit into a size 10 so I'm clearly not fat, I run 20 miles a week and do resistance training as well so you would think i should be reasonably well toned but I'm not. 10.2st at 6ft sounds very skinny.

I know, that's what I think, but I look in the mirror and like you see splodge.

It's bloody depressing really.

I know what you are saying get orf and it is depressing. I have gained and lost weight over the years, and can only truly get weight off when I get my head in the 'zone' which really just means get obsessed. I wanted to get a bmi of 20 and size 8 which I just about am, but like you look in the mirror and don't see anything different to my 3 or 4 stone heavier self, ie still a fatty. And even though I put size 8 topshop jeans on today I put that down to vanity sizing and it doesn't mean anything. Also when I try and tone up I swear it just gives me bigger muscles and ends up me looking bigger.
Completely true about people just saying 'youlookfineanddontneedtoloseweight'.

Nope. And never will due to giant out-of-proportion tits which make me look matronly whatever I weigh. Hate em but can't afford a reduction and my local PCT doesn't do them.

As for you getorf, you are clearly slim. However you've gone thro a lot in the last 12 months and I suspect your self esteem has taken a knocking, hence your feelings about your body. Don't know what the answer is - treat yourself? Say positive stuff to yourself in the mirror?

It's crap isn't it creamtea. Well done on your weightloss, however I am the same as you and get obsessed. I am very much all or nothing when losing weight. It's bloody tiresome. I know in my head that 6 foot, just over 10 stone and a size 8-10 is slim but all I see in the mirror is someone fat.

I don't know whether it is skin tone from all the increase/decrease, age, low self esteem or just being a twat, but it is a bit depressing.

I do try to chivvy myself up, I am pretty well groomed (not as much as I used to be to be fair) and think I look all right. But then there is a devil on my shoulder saying 'you look ugly'.

Oh GetOrf - you know you're not fat, don't you? You've had a bloody awful time of it recently, your self-confidence must have taken a huge knock. Not surprising you should start taking it out on yourself.

You have been concentrating on getting well - now you should concentrate on getting healthy. Why not treat yourself to a massage/facial/manicure/pedicure or some such? Something designed to make you feel better.

Thanks BIWI. I do need to snap out of it really, i am not normally so self indulgent.

I went and had my hair done last week, was a very brightly lit studio and i looked bloody haggard.

Wait till you're my age before you start complaining about looking haggard, you young whippersnapper, you!