When shall we three meet again? The not quite NT, not quite weightloss thread ......

[moosemama]

We were full up ladies, so we finally have our very own weightloss-ish thread!

i can't believe we spent that much freaking money getting him assessed on the recommendation of his class teacher (because she could put him on the assessment list through school but there would be a wait due to limited ep time) and the learning support teacher somehow wasn't included - either on the necessity for assessment or intervention. and that she just got a message that said 'might need math extension'

i took the report in personally with instructions that it was for dissemination to the class teacher and learning support. i assume she has actually got it in her file, or that she's going to find the damn thing, because if i get there on tuesday and she still hasn't read it, i suspect she may need the body armour....

i'd like to say i'm surprised, but i guess it shows you that the canadians can be equally as incapable as the uk.

and in the back of my mind, i keep hearing mrs x insisting that now he's on his medication he's doing really well, etc etc. it does make me wonder if my reservations about medication / environment were on the money. i know it shouldn't matter, and if he is doing well, then great. but he seems to be worse in some ways at home than he was before. although the continence seems to be a bit better since the hols...

i'm going to have to go through the current psych stuff as well, with her. as she clearly doesn't know about that, either.

urgh. anyway. tuesday.

that didn't make much sense. just that the meds make him easier to control, i think i meant. saves the effort, and so now he's more malleable, he isn't a concern in the classroom environment...

I understood what you were saying. Thing is, if he's more malleable at school, but finding it harder at home when things wear off, as you said, you still have to consider whether or not it's the best option for him long-term. It's not just about making the teacher's life easier, it's about what's the best type of support for your ds's needs and they need to understand that.

I don't envy you having to get your message across to them. Really hope they've upped their game, read everything and prepared properly before you see them on Tuesday.

I have just looked up the consultant ds2 has been referred to about his hypermobile joints, as he has his first appointment this week. Apparently he's a blooming paediatric immunologist with research interests in PID (Paediatric Immune Disorder) and Meningitis. Right, so he's going to be soooo usefult to talk to about joints and ligaments etc isn't he.

Basically they've just dumped us on a Comm Paed again, who will then have to refer on. Honestly what a waste of everyone's time, not to mention NHS resources.

Poor old ds2 is really suffering at the moment, he's in constant pain and regularly at screaming point it's so bad. He's also started to get extreme cramps in his feet again and has a new problem that seems to be to do with his left hip flexor.

I've been telling him it's ok, because we are seeing the doctor this week and hopefully they will be able to help - but no, instead we will see someone who will go through his entire medical history, most of which is irrelevant, then look puzzled and - if we are lucky - pass us onto yet another waiting list.

The only good thing is that this guy apparently specialises in children who have repeated infections and susceptability to pneumonia. I'm half wondering if there's been some sort of mix up - because afaik, he hasn't been referred for that.

!
How bizarre.
is he the comm paed, though? Has ds2 not already a got a bog standard paed? Might be a silver lining though, with his interests...

The entire system is one big convoluted jumble.

There are over 20 Comm Paeds in our PCT. Ds1 has seen two of them. I presume they all have their own research interests and specialisms and just assumed they might think it a good idea to match patients to interests. Apparently not.

I hate the whole Comm Paed thing actually, it's essentially just another GP they send you to who then says 'I don't know enough about this' and either passes you on or puts you on a an endless round of 6 monthly 'monitoring appointments'. It's all just lots of holding appointments and time wasting, imo. The NHS could be streamlined and save so much money if they stopped messing people about like this and considered the most efficient ways to run the service instead of finding endless ways to cook the waiting list books and waste people's time. By the time you get to see anyone who actually knows what they're talking about, things are usually ten times worse than they were when you first went to your GP and could probably have been avoided had you been given earlier treatment.

You are not wrong.

One of dd2's comm Paeds wrote me a letter. I had complained that it was completely ludicrous for dd2 to be carting around a spastic quad cp dx when her muscle tone was lower than low and there wasn't an ounce of spasticity in her body, and there hadn't been for well over a year. We were turning up to places based on a spastic quad dx, and they were looking at me like I was a loon. New physios and ot's were laughing out loud. the special school early years co-ord had put her in completely the wrong group based on her referral paperwork, it was a bit of a nonsense.

I asked if we could lose the 'spastic' bit from the dx, or maybe replace it with something that actually described her presentation.

The letter informed me that there were three sorts of cp, spastic, athetoid, and hemi. I actually called scope, because I couldn't believe that a paediatrician who was responsible for my child knew so little about her condition. I've still got the letter somewhere. I kept it to remind me not to assume a professional knew what they were talking about just by virtue of ending up on their books. Tragic.

I should really have made a formal complaint and asked to change paed, but she was at least doing the referral for a repeat MRI and stuff, so we stayed there. Nuts though. 7 years of med school, and all you learn is to patronise parents....

DS only ever got as far as the comm paed in not getting his ASD DX. So waited over a year to see a comm paed in joint clinic, who could see non-ASD patients in two months (friend's DS had suspected Failure to Thrive). At least the immunology sounds relevant to your DS's non joint-related health issues.

mad - well let's hope a weekend lead in time means she actual bothers reading the report. I can quite see your concern that placid child = school losing motivation to bust a gut with support.

Did great yesterday, level 2 shred, plus 3 circuits of BFBM and really healthy food that ended well within my allowance.

Then today it's all gone to pot again. Been meeting myself coming back, so much for a lazy Sunday.

Ds1 had a pretty major meltdown over a missing game cartridge just as I was supposed to be going out with dh for my first driving lesson. Left me a bit shakey and very wound up, so we ended up going out for lunch instead. One brie and grape baguette, plus slice of coffee and walnut slice (and a promise to myself to make sure I did another double workout) later and I felt just about calm enough to face a stint behind the wheel.

Managed a couple of laps of a local business park carpark. Felt very odd being behind the wheel again after all these years and reckon its going to take a good few more sessions like that before I'll be brave enough to book a proper lesson.

Picked up the dcs from Mum's and have been getting everything ready for back to school ever since. Why does there always have to be so much and why do I always leave it until the last minute?

Have had to type and print no fewer than three letters to the school, plus a terms worth of feelings diary sheets and help ds2 to redo half his maths homework, as I realised he'd completely missed the point. There also seemed to be a lot of new stuff that needed labelling for some reason, which is a bit odd at this time of year.

Needless to say, I failed dismally to fit my workout in and I now feel far too tired to even attempt one. So we can chalk today up as an fail for both diet and exercise.

I'm supposed to be taking dd to toddler group tomorrow afternoon, but have decided to try and have at least one normal day instead and will hopefully do better than today on both counts.

Hope everyone else has had a more relaxing day than I have.

noooooooooooo. and today is worse.
i have so much to do i've cancelled physio (it appears to be nothing for my elbow/ shoulder anyway, if i'm honest) and am stressing over brownie paperwork.

quite why i'm even on mn is another story, lol. but it was far more appealing that making a zillion phone calls and getting bleeding nowhere, which is what has been happening all morning. however, in twenty minutes i have to go drop some paperwork off and collect a file with (i hope) the information i need in it (as they rearranged the entire blardy website and removed everything i need). fingers crossed.

oh, and then plan tonight's meeting. because i haven't done that yet, either. ffs.

hope today is normal for you!!!!!! i have high hopes of wine later, which i know is not the idea, but i'm not sure i care!!! aargh.

I have been very good today, level 2 shred, plus 3 BFBM circuits and healthy food all day, well within allowance. Not bad considering I had to bake with ds2 for his homework and of course the other two wanted to join in, which resulted in a batch of nearly 40 rock buns. Used MFP to work out they are around 190 kcals each and that was enough to put me off ...... for today!

Dd and I had a quiet day today actually (decided not to go to toddlers) and it's been really nice, well after my nightmare phone marathon with Legoland this morning, where it looked for a while like we might not be able to go. They've sorted it now, but I still haven't received our amended tickets by email, so am still stressing about it and will be until they arrive. Still, no tv, no fighting brothers, or melting down/flapping/pacing/ranting ds1, just peace and quiet, so all in all a good day, I think.

Sorry you are under such a lot of pressure Madwoman. The brownies are lucky to have you. Hope you manage to get that it sounds like you both need and deserve it.

i didn't have a glass of wine - i had a coke (probably even worse!) and a slug of dh's beer. and i had sausage and beans for dinner.
hey ho.

feeling a bit more positive today. collected the magic file with everything in it from a friend-who-knows-everything yesterday, and when i dropped the paperwork off at the other lady's house, she emailed someone else and passed on my email address to them, and this morning i have a lovely fresh email with the new soft copies of everything i need. i'm definitely going to photocopy the magic file in its' entirety though. the problem with moving around is that you start from scratch every single time, and everyone just assumes you know who to speak to/ where the campsites are, etc etc. it even occurred to me that i might make a couple of copies, and give them to the other new guiders in these parts as well!

however, on the not so positive side, i am hosting a different board meeting chez mad this evening, and my house is a tip, and i haven't done any of my actions from the last meeting. having organised brownies camp planning for tomorrow night, i need to change hats and get today finished!!!

i'm frankly grateful that i haven't seen a job i'm interested in for two months, though.

have ds1's meeting at school with learning support at noon, though. (this is just as well, because this morning we were out of lunch stuff, and so i need to deliver lunches as well!) now, where is that tail when i want to catch it? will let you know how the meeting goes... i have The File ready.

well done on having such a great day! (and yay for willpower!) i had to pull out of boot camp today as i had so much to do this morning, but i feel okay about it. i think i just have to get this couple of days out of the way, and then the dust will settle again. i think (tmi) my paunch is shrinking though. interesting....

fingers crossed for legoland. when are you going?

that sounded a bit weird... interesting in that the scales are going down oh so slowly, but i think i am smaller, iyswim. i know, i know. get the damn tape measure out. i will, this weekend. i will.

Good to hear you got some help and managed to get copies of everything you need. Sounds like today is very full-on for you as well though.

Good luck with the LS meeting, if I'm not too late. Fingers crossed they will actually have read the reports this time and it will be a productive meeting.

I bet you've lost a load of inches. My weight barely shifted when I was doing the shred first time round, but the number of inches I lost more than made up for it.

I've spent the entire afternoon at the hospital with ds2 getting his leg/joint problem checked out. I was so nervous about going after the GP was so dismissive and said he didn't think ds's joints were that lax, but I needn't have worried.

Paed was actually very good, very approachable, brilliant with the dcs and for once I actually felt listened to and taken seriously. He also seemed to know his stuff, which was a relief for a Comm Paed with specialities/research interests in a completely different area.

He had ds do a variety of different walks and movements, then did a table examination.

All leg ligaments are very loose, with his knees and ankles being particularly unstable. Also tested upper body and found wrists, fingers and thumbs to be very lax. (So what basically what I thought.)

Ds was then sent off for a wide array of xrays on his legs, although the Paed did say everything from the examination indicated that there probably isn't a bone problem, but he wants to rule it out.

Next step is to have his xrays and manipulation results looked at by a Paed Rheum and then they will have us back for the results. In the meantime we have a referral to physio, but no clues as to how long that will take to come in.

Advice in the meantime is to limit excessive weight bearing exercise, but try to build up non-weight bearing, so swimming and cycling basically.

It was a very interesting appointment, as more and more pennies dropped about my own leg problems, which were much worse as a child and how it all links back to my mum's leg/bone problems, which she's also had since she was a child. (I did make sure the Paed was made aware of the history.)

So, it's a case of waiting for the results and what they are going to do next now.

We were there for hours and both ds2 and dd were absolute stars. Dd had to sit just outside the door of the xray room, behind the screen, with one of the assistants, so she could see us, but not come in and she was so well behaved sitting there waving at me, I was really proud of her. Ds2 was absolutely brilliant, especially considering the sheer number of xrays he has done in all sorts of odd positions. He told me afterwards he was really scared before he had it done, because even though I explained it to him, he wasn't sure what to expect, but that in the end it was ok and he wasn't scared at all.

Managed another double workout today, but failed with my diet, as I wasn't expecting to be at the hospital so long and started to feel a bit odd from hunger - all I could find to eat was a slice of fruitcake from the cafe, so I had that. Why is it that you can never find anything healthy to eat in a hospital.

Going to have a small salad for tea to try and make up for it.

Quieter day tomorrow, just dd's nursery placement allocation due in and I want to get organised and start packing for Legoland (Saturday).

Thursday is the first meeting of a new Parent Support Group being set up by the ASD Inclusion Team and run by ds1's ASD teacher. Not sure what to expect, but think it has potential to be very useful.

Wahey! Mega post!

Shouldn't have had that caffeinated coffee at the hospital - am buzzing away now.

sounds v productive, hope the results and referral come through soon...

meeting in an hour or so.

hospital canteen food always makes me laugh. that said, the one at the children's hosp here is amazing. they have a sushi bar. i suspect that they don't have a staff canteen, as it's always full of workers as well, and there are always loads of tables free. it's lovely - huge and open plan at the centre of a sort of atrium that all the corridors lead to. with fish tanks around the edges to occupy small children, and touchable artwork - statues and stuff. v flash.

right, must. get. off. mn.

lunches to make and floors to vacuum, never mind the meeting!

hmm. i have been bamboozled.

learning support lady and class teacher. class teacher gushed for about twenty minutes about how he was a changed child, the meds are amazing, he is brilliant, so engaged, so together, so absolutely not a problem at all. cured, in fact.

learning support talked me through the math tests (g6 PATs - like SATS, end of next year stuff). he was between 80 and 99% on the papers. bit more gushing.

spent next 15 minutes explaining the mentor system to me. (dd1 did it this year, i know exactly how it works). said he will definitely be on it next year (starts in january. 8 months away.)

and at the end said there are another few weeks of the g5 syllabus left in the class, but after that he might get to go to learning support to do some small group math problem solving (they will hand pick a few kids who are good at maths).

and she thinks he'll be fine just going into grade 6 and getting the normal classes. but i should email her if he is bored. some time next year.

she was very very good, and i didn't even realise until i left that essentially, even though he has already passed the end of G6 math tests with flying colours, he is now going to be taught it for a year.

i had very clearly clocked that the 'sn' aspects are deemed to have been dealt with via meds. interestingly, neither of them are aware that there are days when he doesn't take them. she did ask if we had seen changes at home because of the meds, and no, we haven't, but that was v clearly chalked up to the timing issue that obviously benefits school...

i told them he was seeing the psych etc. she did ask if there was anything that they could be doing at school wrt the continence etc. not really, it's all been tried and he is ohobic, which is why he's going to the psych lol.

class teacher did acknowledge that there is actually an ongoing problem with organisation. learning support said she had worked with a lot of kids in this area, and class teacher forbade her (! yes, really) to get involved on this score, as he's capable of doing it. the compromise was, if he asks for help, he will be given it. riiiiiight. the same kid who wouldn't ask for another pizza form, so he missed an entire year's worth of pizza. i can't see him asking, but i'll let him know.

then she said 'oo, i've got to go' and they both left.

i am fairly sanguine. nothing is going to happen this year anyway, and i suspect strognly that nowt much is going to happen next year, and as long as we keep him on the meds, they don't see any problem.

they are so desperately inflexible. at the mo they are designing and building a little electronic car each in science. ds1 came home excited, planned the entire thing, ordered the components, and then was crushed the following day because he had been told it was only allowed one motor. (he had planned two, so that it could reverse as well or something). i mentioned in passing that he had been upset, and was basically told, oh, he can do it at home, the rubric is only one motor. i mean, i know he can do it at home. but don't give a kid with asd traits the freedom to design and make an electric car with no parameters, and then after he's done his design, tell him tht he has to follw the class design on this sheet here, because that's what we do every year. i did have an inward chuckle that they don't even allow them to make the chassis any more, because the children were spending too much time on their individual designs.

ach. will wait until september and see who the class teacher is.

Oh, that always happens to me. I think its gone ok, then come out and realise I have been hoodwinked. I take dh with me, which helps a bit, but not much because he's as bad as I am face-to-face really.

How can the teacher just state that he isn't allowed support with organisation? Surely he can't learn how to organise himself without someone showing him the way?

The gushing re the meds sounds a bit suss as well, especially if he's not taking it every day.

Why are they only focussing on his maths, if that's his area of strength? Surely they should be focussing on other areas of the curriculum where he struggles more and sorting support for that.

They do sound very inflexible and unwilling to change things to suit the pupil's individual needs. Sounds like they don't get ASD either, fancy telling him he could design whatever he wants, then adding restrictions after he'd already designed it.

As for the pupils spending too much time on their designs - God forbid! Fancy children being given the time to be really creative.

So sorry the meeting didn't turn out well. How many weeks of this school year do you have left?

Only 9 weeks. And because they have left it so long, I knew they weren't really going to do anything this year, although it will be interesting to see if the small group thing highlights his social issues. I did mention that in passing - I walked down the corridor with the learning support teacher as she escorted me out, lol, so hopefully that might have given her a clue. He's so blinkered in those sorts of situations - if he 'knows' how to do something(or has internalised a 'plan'), he can't even listen to anyone else's possible idea. So if they can get him to a point where he understands that he has to give everyone a chance (even if he thinks they are wrong) that will be a bonus. He can't even play out without being reduced to angry tears because it isn't going his way. . That sounds really bratty, but it's not an ego thing, just that he is so linear in his head and anyone trying to suggest alternatives throws him into a blind panic and he gets stressy and flappy.

The psych thinks it might be because he connects people disagreeing with him (or wanting to do something else) as them saying they don't like him, respect him, or want to be with him, on top of the 'rules' walls in his head. So he has both to contend with - misreading the social cues as well as the fact that the 'plan' has been changed.

Lots to consider over the summer, I think...

The meds thing is v interesting. I mean, they don't even know that there's the occasional day he doesn't take them, but there was no mention of any variability in him at all.

I think they are concentrating on the math because the psych specifically mentioned it - she thought it would be great for his self esteem etc. it seems to have backfired a bit though, as if you discuss learning or whatever with him, he will now say he loves maths but he's rubbish at sentence construction/ literacy, whatever. So somewhere along the line he appears to have been brainwashed that he's rubbish at everything else... It's as though he's just repeating what he thinks everyone wants to hear. Not sure what to do about that really.

I did want to bang my head against the table with the organisation thing. The teacher is ADHD as well, and is also the most rigid person in the school (she was the pizza woman, grr). It's just exactly the same thing again - her way of 'teaching' him not to lose his order from or to ask for another was to ban him from pizza for a year. So her idea of teaching him to be more organised is just to let him fail at it.

If he learnt from his failures, that would be a fine methodology. But she's the same one who said 'honestly, I can tear him off a strip, and then I look at his face and I know he has absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. His brain is just wired differently, it's like kicking a puppy.'

So I knew I wasn't going to win the organisation argument. I'll speak to learning support in September when he has a new teacher. I'm almost sure she was thinking the same thing.

The chassis comment and the 'must stick to the rubric' thing was almost enough to send me running out of the door yelling 'quick, sign me up for homeschooling!'. 9 weeks, 9 weeks. 9 weeks.

Right, enough babble. Today I am going to be an oasis of calm. And I'm going to take the dogs for a walk and wear my trainers - I may even jog a bit. It's spring and I'm not going to fall on the ice! yay!

9 weeks sounds like an awfully long time to me. You are much calmer than I would be about it all.

Enjoy your jog/walk.

It's p'ing it down here and has been all day. Apparently we are in for a month's worth of rain in two days or something - it'd better blooming well rain itself out before Saturday.

Just got absolutely soaked on the school run. It stopped for about half an hour before it was time to go out and the sun came out, lulled me into a false sense of security, then as soon as we reached the playground the black clouds rolled in and it was torrential.

Not doing so well with diet and exercise. Did my favourite 3 levels of BFBM, but couldn't face a shred as well, so compromised and did 20 minutes vigorous pedalling on the exercise bike instead, which according to MFP is similar in calories burned. Made sure I kept my heart rate up, in fact I had sweat dripping off my nose, so it should at least have been fat burning, if not exactly toning much. (Grumble, grumble, blooming swimsuit, grumble ...... )

Ended up not getting breakfast until lunchtime, then just resorted to two slices of fresh wholemeal thick sliced bread with plenty of butter and a teaspoon of strawberry jam when I got back cold and wet from the school. I have a max of 785 kcals left for the day and absolutely no clue what to have for dinner, the fridge is almost bear, as we're hanging on for Friday (payday) to get the shopping delivered.

I'm just not very up for it today really, haven't had a decent night's sleep in so long I can't remember now and it's starting to take it's toll. Dh snored spectactularly all through last night (in fact I nearly pushed him out of bed at one point ) and dd and the dog have been tag teaming waking me up all week. Feels like as soon as I nod off one or other starts.

Old lady dog is having continence issues. She's been to the vet, who said its either a urine infection, cushings, kidneys, diabetes or just old age (basically caused by being spayed). They ruled out diabetes with a blood spot test there and then, she was clear for an infection and it looks unlikely to be cushings (despite her being at risk from prolonged use of steroids) because she doesn't have any other symptoms. So, we have some propalin syrup to try and if she responds to that it's just old age. She has actually been better, so it does seem it's probably old age. I was having to clear up under her bed every morning and regularly through the day and then she started leaking whenever she stood up. Not sure if we've muddied the waters a bit by being more vigilant with letting her out more regularly, but she definitely hasn't leaked since she started the syrup.

Oo, forgot. Am another pound down, so 155 now. Would have preferred if all 3 of the errant pounds that arrived overnight after ds2's birthday pizza had exited at once, but beggars can't be choosers.

We had one on propalin syrup before. It can be a bit variable, I think, but good if it's working so far? Poor doggle. This age stuff is no fun.

I'm not sleeping, either. (harrumph) I think it's probably bog standard stress though, so hoping it will improve over the next few nights. And also totally skint. We haven't quite worked out how we are going to pay the mortgage next week... dh started his new job on Monday so we could have an unexpected gap between pay days... I know we are all supposed to be jolly responsible and have a couple of months of cash sitting pretty, but really, life doesn't work out that way. We are expecting a tax rebate though, which will clear everything when it arrives, but it might be another month.

I am making my own freaking granola bars for packed lunches, we're that skint.

Ooooo, nearly swimsuit time! and at the rain..... I will send drying out vibes on Friday.

Oo, 155. We like. One at a time is fine.

155 is good, yes, but I was 151 on the 10th of March.

I am baking for lunch boxes as well, well if I'm honest, all three dcs baked on Monday, but everyone is now bored of rock buns, so I am planning to do flapjacks - not that it's cheap when you have to use gf oats. Fortunately we paid for Legoland back in January using dh's bonus, so that's not the disaster it could have been, but we have to pay for an evening meal for 5 in the hotel restaurant and their prices are daylight robbery. It's an all you can eat buffet, but it's £19.99 for an adult and £10.00 for a child - so £70 quid for us! Mum has offered to pay for lunch on Sunday, but we're not sure if we can get anything gf for ds1.

Hope you manage to stretch the money to get you through till payday.

We never have spare cash sitting around for times like this, there's always something we need to spend it on.

I hate it when there's too much month at the end of our money!

hello again.
madwoman - teacher sounds like a disaster, so you just need to focus on training up the next one a bit better . we have organisational issues here too, if anything (lunch bags, jumpers) can get lost it will...

am hovering between 12st 11 and 12st 13. and likewise not sleeping well, don't know if it's all the horrid rain.

2 months wages saved? savings full stop? (hysterical laughter). hope you can sort out a mortgage holiday or retime the payments or do something clever to sort it out madwoman.