Starting today... 2st to lose.

[owlets]

Whilst shopping with my super slim friend over the weekend I realised just how fat I feel - and getting on the scales provided proof. I've put on 2 stone - 1 stone of which has come on very recently ( think a month or two?!).
Other than looking lumpy and increasingly featureless, my legs are achy and I don't feel like I've woken up properly ever.
So, I'm going to start on the diet today. The plan is to eat lots of veg and fruits, lean meats, and limited carbs. I'm going to have 3 decent sized meals a day, and not snack unless I'm truely hungry.

I'm going to weigh myself and post on here every Tuesday. Anyone who wants to join in please do!

Starting weight; 11st 13.
(Target weight 10st so 1st 13lbs to lose)

How did you get on at the hospital madwoman? Been thinking about you all day, hope it was good news.

Well, no news really.

Got to have the same tests three more times, once a month, and then he'll review in May to see if there is a pattern, if it stays the same/gets worse/ better etc.

He didn't have all of the results either but he was very nice. My blood pressure was through the fecking roof, back like it was when I had the neuro thing going on a few years ago, so I know I've got to get that down. Losing a good 20 pounds would be a start, eh?

So, overall I think I am a bit relieved, there was obviously nothing in the lab work that needed immediate attention. He has added in a further test as well, which wasn't done before. He thinks it might be something to do with glomerulin or something, something to do with breaking down of muscle tissue... So I'm going to have to go back and consult dr google...

He was v funny though. He just said, 'give me a call in May and remind to review the results' but said I could call him each month for the test results if I wanted to know how it was going...

So, no change here. I need to get some weight off pretty quickly, looking at the bp... And try and de-stress. Last time I just spent hours walking every day, but it was summer. I guess the dogs are in for a treat over the next month or so anyway!

mustard good, olives bleurgh.....

Let me know what dip powder they are using, I might be able to get it here and bulk buy....

Good that you are feeling a little relieved, but a pita that its not all done and dusted with a nice simple answer.

BP is a worry as well. Did he give you any tips on how to reduce it at all - other than diet and weightloss?

Does the breaking down of muscle tissue have any bearing on your exercise and fitness stuff, ie is it a good or bad idea for you to be working out heavily before they have identified the problem?

So, you and I are still in very similar boats, waiting for answers and none the wiser after all the tests and appointments. So frustrating.

I have been on a mercy dash out of town today. My niece (aged 21, so not a littley) was rushed into hospital yesterday after having what they thought was a serious asthma attack. She nebulises at home, but it didn't work and she collapsed, then again in the ambulance. She had over 16 nebulisers last night and was transferred to another hospital. Dsis, her mum, went last night, but couldn't get to the hospital for this afternoon's visiting and I didn't want DN left on her own, so we had to dump the dcs on my mum - who incidentally is recovering from foot surgery and my step dad and race over there. Fortunately, she is a lot better today, but they can't find a cause for the attacks and are thinking possible allergic reaction, so she's being kept in and sent for rast testing on Monday. Shes's recently taken in a puppy, which was a bad idea in her situation anyway - long story - and its going to break her heart if she can't keep him as she has always been a big dog lover and he is super gorgeous.

So, I couldn't get hold of anything healthy to eat and resorted to a cheese pasty, crisps and some chocolate - no excuse for the chocolate I know. Why can you never buy healthy food at hospitals.

The snow started while we were out, the city she was in was fine, all gritted etc, but half way home and into our own county and not even the motorways were gritted, which was er ... just a touch scary. Once we got off the motorway the roads were thick with rutted snow and everyone driving like idiots. Thank heavens for dh's new company car, which isn't a 4x4, but is built like one and is very heavy over the front wheels, as well as being front wheel drive. More heavy snow predicted for tonight and apparently its going to freeze what's already settled as well. Stupid LA gets a big thumbs down from the Moose household again. Its been predicted for over a week, so absolutely no excuse for not gritting the roads.

no tips, but he was the nephrology dude, so it didn't really seem to be his area! interesting question about the exercise - i don't think he was particualrly concerned either way, and he didn't seem overly worried, so iguess he'd go further into what that meant it the the new tests come back positive. i haven't had time to google yet. he did tell me that i should maybe go back to the gp re arthritis/ rsi type stuff, but i'm postponing that...

you have a had a dramatic day - hope dn is feeling stronger, and yay for new car. we don't have any snow forecast for the next week or so, so it looks like you are getting ours!! i hate driving when it's like that.

hope all is well with you and that they have sorted out dn's allergens.

am feeling utterly crap today. head coldy yesterday and nauseous this morning. soooo, not going to boot camp as am not convinced that breakfast is going to stay down. might try a davina later if the nausea disappears.

bah humbug, am in a right funk this morning. suspect pmt as well.

Hi, sorry to hear you are poorly. Hope its just a 48 hour thing and you feel better tomorrow.

Haven't heard from dn or her mum since we saw them at the weekend - but that's par for the course, we only ever hear from them when they are in need, so I'm assuming all's well unless I hear different.

I've been pretty poorly myself since Sunday, something akin to, but not really like a migraine all through Sunday and Monday, accompanied by a total lack of energy. It honestly felt as if every drop of life-force had been drained from my body. I know, it sounds over-dramatic, sorry, but I can't think of any other way to explain it. Also have all sorts of weird neuro stuff going on, twitches, pins and needles, stinging skin and loss of balance and grip etc and cognitively I've been about as bright as a bread and butter pudding.

Was under a blanket on the sofa all day on Sunday, have been to bed at 8.00 pm both days and had to nap with dd yesterday and today just to be able to do the school pick up. Head thing has now subsided, thank heavens, but am still completely wiped out.

Mum was all for calling my neurologist, but I said there was no point, as regardless of how bad I felt, it would all still be considered minor and not a 'major event', so they wouldn't be interested.

Amidst all this, I did actually manage to weigh myself this morning and I seem to be bouncing between 153 and 155 pounds mostly, but was 157 when I weighed myself on Saturday.

Not really dieting, just eating whatever dh has time to prepare and obviously I'm not exercising at the moment. Think I'm just going to have to let this run its course and then try to build up gently again.

Poor old dh has been run ragged and now he's come down with man flu a stinking cold, so he's grumpier than ever.

We were supposed to be going away next weekend. Had even found a nice hotel that has room for 3 dcs in a family room, rather than having to Travelodge it and two lovely cafe/restaurants in the same village that serve gf food. Unfortunately, dh got all serious and said if an hour's drive to see my neice made me this ill, then a weekend away is out of the question. I tried to persuade him that a change of scene might do me some good, but he was determined. Made me cry as well - git! Its not his fault and I know he's right. I'm just so fed up of our lives being governed my my health - or rather lack of it.

Sorry, just realised I should have been cheering you up, not having a mega-whinge myself.

Hope you feel better soon and your breakfast stayed put.

that puts me in league with your mum then, as my first instinct was to say 'oh, did you call the neuro - it might have been useful for them to see you in the middle of an episode'.

stayed put so far but i still feel nauseous.

sorry you have had to cancel your weekend away. at least you know where the hotel is though, so maybe plan for a break at the end of march? might be springtime, with daffodils? you're still getting over that horrid christmas and new year, so it will take time. is there any way you can plan for a more local day out on saturday, so you still get some family time and a change of scenery? somewhere you don't go very often, or somewhere new? maybe with a visit to a nice specialist restaurant that does great veggie/ gf meals? that you wouldn't normally go to because of expense? or just out for sunday lunch?

hmm, dn sounds fine then. i don't like to suggest it, but maybe it's worth dropping into converstaion at some point that the drama does take it's toll on your own health? so if they have anyone else they could call then it might be better to go there first? i know you want to help, but added stress is probably something that should be avoided... especially whilst you are so low anyway?

the rest of feb needs to be 'selfish month' for you, i think. try and start accepting help, rather than offering it. (and i will try to take my own advice, before everything crumbles round my ears)

urgh. i do feel rubbish. no wonder i feel nauseous, doling out such dreadful advice.

wrap up and relax. i prescribe crap tv and no guilt.

You would think it would help if they saw me whilst I was actually having an episode, but going on past experience, probably not - well not unless I was at death's door anyway. I had my worst time when dh went to work on Monday morning and was actually quite scared for a short while, but there was no-one around to see and make that call. Then it passed, I started to feel a little better and I convinced myself I was making a fuss about nothing.

Fortunately dd has been a little star this week, playing beautifully in the living room with her mother flopped on the sofa under a blanket looking grim. She's made me cups of tea and cakes and been on little trips to the shop for 'mummy's medicine' - which apparently comes in a range of colours - including rainbow! She's been a proper little nursemaid really, bless her. Dh has popped home to do the lunches and then dd and I have gone and had a nap together before the school run.

Part of the reason we needed to get away was because there really is nowhere nice to go around here - its the dull, grey, boring Midlands. We were spoiled when we lived in Lancashire really, as we had either the beautiful National Parks in Yorkshire or the beach at Blackpool, or the hippy village stuff at Hebden Bridge. Always somewhere to go and loads of lovely places to eat. Round here its chain restaurants or meat, meat, meat and we have either National Trust or English Heritage to choose from for entertainment.

You said exactly what dh said about dn and dsis. He was furious when I said I wanted to go, because he knew what the consequences were likely to be for me and our family, but this particular niece has had it pretty tough in her relatively short life and never gets the support she needs from closer members of the family, so I felt I needed to let her know that someone cares. My mum would usually have gone, but she's currently out of action herself.

Unfortunately there's no-one to accept help from this month. I usually rely on my Mum pretty heavily when I'm ill, but she's just had an op on her foot so can't drive - or walk for that matter - and she'll be having the wire removed at the beginning of March so will be out of action again.

Not dreadful advice at all - just good the good-old common sense that I seem to lack quite often. Mind you, it does sound like you need to start taking your own advice as well. Time for a rest and a bit of tlc for both of us - even if the tlc does have to be self-served! grin]

Thank you

Lordy, how depressing. Erm Warwick? Stratford? Um, google tells me that there's a great vegetarian Indian restaurant in Birmingham (well, obv), but erm, iron bridge? < casts about for vaguely midlands inspired suggestions. Comes up with nothing...>

You'll have to come and see me, but goodness knows what 9 hours on a plane will do to you. we've probably got more in this town than the whole of the midlands..... And we've got a great adaptive programme for all sorts of quirky kids...

Dd sounds as though she's been a dream, but my, am I glad that I don't have to do that any more. Soooooo familiar.

Well, tomorrow is another day. I've half promised to go x country skiing, but am going to try classic instead of skate, seeing as how I can't stay upright and all.... But you are right. I will also be soaking beans tonight so that I can make soup tomorrow. The cure for everything. that's probably as close to tlc as tomorrow will bring!

Sending virtual soup your way x

Lol, yep the midlands is a cultural black hole really and anything that is vaguely interesting we have already done to death and are bored to the back teeth of.

Ds1 would happily go to the Sealife centre every single time, but to say we're a bit sick of it would be the understatement of the century!

I went to Canada many moons ago (when I was 10). We drove across country - don't ask me where - and went to Niagra Falls. I would love to go there again - but somehow feel its not terribly likely.

Just had a call from the EP that ds1 saw when he had his breakdown in 2010. She is the lead EP for our LA and is absolutely lovely. She's been asked to do his SA Report and called to let me know. She's going in to observe him today and then coming to see dh and I and then ds1 next Wednesday. We talked a few things through this morning and also discussed the scary subject of secondary school transition. Its fantastic that we've got her, as she's seen how bad it can get for ds when he's not properly supported at school and is very supportive of our application. She said that in her experience and opinion we are highly likely to get the statement. She also had some good advice re looking for secondary schools and is going to do a bit of fact-finding for us before she comes next week. I could hug her.

Dh, dd, ds1 and the flipping dog all had me up in the night last night, which has kind of negated all my rest, naps and early nights so far this week. They are, excluding the dog of course, a right old snotty bunch.

Ds2 was sobbing in fear last night after losing his maths homework sheet for the second time in a week. His maths teacher is ds1's awful form teacher from last year - the one who won't speak to me - and he's terrified of her. So poor old dh had to go into school early this morning and sort that out for him - I told him to sneeze on his hand then shake hands with her! [evil grin emoticon]

Thanks for the soup. Sitting here eating a bowl of fresh fruit and fat free natural yoghurt at the moment, so feeling very virtuous. I did actually manage to summon the energy to very slowly make a gf cheesy vegetable pie last night, but dh served the dcs up, then promptly dropped the rest of it upside down on the quarry tiles, so I didn't get to have any.

Hope you are fully recovered and able to enjoy your skiing today.

So sorry you've been so I'll again Moose , I wish I could come up with some amazing things to see and do in the Midlands but, um ... er ... nope! There is an actually quite surprising art gallery in Walsall and we love a good walk in the Wyre Forest but not sure if you'd be up for that, or done them to death too?

Diet-wise I've been losing and gaining the same 2lbs for months now and I'm frankly pissed off with it. It's just not a good time of year for shedding the lard. All I want to do is eat and keep warm. I'd be crap in Canada

Thanks Lambskin.

I'm trying not to let it get me down too much, but it is hard.

I'm feeling marginally better now than I did earlier in the week, but am surrounded by snotty dcs and an equally snotty dh. I have absolutely no clue why I haven't been similarly afflicted, unless its waiting to get me when they're all better.

I think I've pretty much accepted that I'm going to be maintaining until the weather warms up and then starting again with the walking to rebuild fitness thing - same as every year.

I have been highly virtuous so far today. Fruit and fat free natural yoghurt for breakfast, big salad for lunch and dh is now making quorn fajitas with fat free yoghurt instead of sour cream and weightwatchers wraps. My chocolate cravings seem to have disappeared along with my monthly nightmare thank heavens, so at least I won't be nicking dd's chocolate buttons any more.

Dc's broke up for half term today, as they have an INSET day tomorrow and I am so relieved to not have to do the freezing cold school run for over a week. Downside is that both boys have tonnes of project style homework to do, which means lots of supervision.

We stopped at the Wyre Forest place - where Go Ape is - on our way back from Hay-on-Wye last year and they boys have been desperate to go back there. Somehow I just don't feel that way inclined with temperatures below freezing and intermittent snowfall. Brrrr!

Its looking like a boring lunch at Bella Italia at the moment, as they are the only local place other than Nandos and Wagamama that does gf food. Still, it makes a change for us all to eat out together and they do do a cracking goats cheese and roasted pepper pizza.

Enjoy your tuna - and wine, its far too cold to be thinking about calories.

Well, my chocolate cravings seem to be staying away and I'm finally starting to fancy healthier food in general. Have even consumed a couple of salads and lots of fruit and fat free natural yoghurt. Still haven't managed to do any exercise though, but my weight is still at 10 stone 13 pounds, with the odd fluctuation up 2lbs then down 2 again.

Hoping to start some gentle exercise tomorrow and start building it up from there.

BUT something possessed me to try on those skinny combats again yesterday and bizarrely, this time they fitted. So, I haven't lost any weight, haven't been exercising - am definitely not more toned - but now I fit into pair of trousers that wouldn't go anywhere near me a week or so ago.

The bad news is, because I got into them properly this time - whereas last time I didn't get them over my hips so didn't even try zipping them up - I discovered they have a dodgy zip where the teeth have been crossed over so won't zip further than halfway up. There's plenty of loose fabric on either side as well, so its definitely not because I'm too fat for them.

Have finally ordered all the other bits to make up my fancy dress costume. So I have a faux leather waistcoat to wear over a vest top, ordered some more skinny combats in a slightly different style, just in case I can't fix the zip, a toy gun and utility belt (which will be useful for dog walking afterwards). Considering buying a cheapo second hand long leather coat off ebay to go over the top as well, as I'm worried about feeling a little exposed if I can't get my arms retoned in time. Dh has bought himself a silver astronaut suit, with helmet and a ray gun. Big kid!

Hope all's well in the Madwoman/Overtired and Lambskin households. Very lazy quiet three day weekend here, but now have two days of housework forced labour to get everywhere straight for the Ed Psych to do her visit for SA on Wednesday, followed by about a million different pieces of homework with both boys. Ds2 has 7 separate homeworks plus a small project and ds1 has 4 mini projects that compile one big project, plus numeracy homework .

Boys are fighting like cat and dog already. Why oh why, do I spend the whole time they're at school wishing they/we/I could have some time off, then as soon as they're off start counting down the days until they go back!

Because you are entirely normal and have been immersed in the media contrived fantasy that is 'family time' long enough to feel inadequate. real life isn't advertising!

Well. I still haven't lost any weight... FFS.

So, low carbing again, as it worked before, but I've not been v strict of late as I wrongfully assumed the exercise would take up the slack. Have felt pretty rubbish all week. Just low level misery and not being 100% rather than anything dramatic, but have been jittery and stressy and not sleeping.

I do not envy your homework hell one tiny bit. The weekend has actually been quite quiet, as ds has been to cub camp. Dh went last night as well after the last cub camp disaster (toiletting hell and a bag of faeces) and seems to think that ds has made a breakthrough... I'm quietly hopeful, but I haven't unpacked his bag yet... This would of course happen now that the camhs referral is through. I don't know whether to laugh or cry! I don't know if I can bring myself to think he might have cracked it on his own... Will report back... He didn't take his meds this weekend either, as dh said we should give him the weekend off...

Well done on the combat trs, whatever happened! And lol at the zip. Typical!

We have one more week before family week (like half term) and I am counting down the days! From this hamster wheel it looks like heaven. Next week I will wanting them back at school, obv, but we could all do with spending the mornings in pjs and watching too much tv at the mo.

Dd1 is out with her friend skating at the pond, and the other two are next door traumatizing the neighbours. I'm going to stick a chicken in the oven and have a cup of tea. Twenty minutes until dd2 needs to go to her swimming lesson...

Well done with the weird trousers Moose! Don't ask questions just enjoy!

Fingers crossed you don't find any 'presents' in ds's bag outofbody. I remember moving house when ds1 (NT mind) was about 9 and finding some soiled pants stuffed in the wardrobe along with several cling filmed mouldy sandwiches . Probably says as much about my housekeeping as his.

Last Thursday was a bit of a turning point for me. Along with the wine, dh bought a massive bag of crisps. So I ate them and drank nearly a whole bottle of wine . I felt disgusted with myself so decided to do Anna Richardson's Body Blitz again, but properly this time.

So this means:
No alcohol
No sugar
No wheat
No carbs after 6pm, and
No dairy

Which all makes me sound like a gremlin! I have to do this for 14 days and could lose about 7 lbs, but tbh my real reason for doing it is to prove to myself that I've got self control. I do worry about my drinking particularly. I was really good initially, then was just drinking at the weekend and then it started slipping in during the week. I'm sure this was why I've stalled with the weight loss. I'd be better off not drinking and not bothering with the exercise.

Dh was amazed that I started it on a Friday but in at the deep end I say! So, day 4 so far and I've not been missing anything which is good. Valentine's day usually has wine attached so tomorrow will be another test. God, I sound like an alcoholic don't I?

Half term here too. Still in my pjs in bed so I'm loving it so far, fast forward an hour or so when I want to do a Davina DVD and ds wants to play on Little Big Planet and I could be feeling quite differently.

Hope the SA visit is going ok today Moose. We've got another Paed appointment coming up, I think to go through the CASBAT report so feeling a bit anxious about that. I just want them to listen and to believe me. Here's hoping ds really lets rip! At least I've got a school to back me up this time.

Food, booze and exercise going alright. Keep fantasising about bread, cheese, and wine though . I've decided that Saturdays will be my day off when I can eat (and drink) what I like, and I'll be a saint the rest of the time. Well, that's the plan anyway. I do need something to look forward to.

Hope you are both having a good week

Lol at fantasies, lamb.

Fingers crossed for meeting moose, hopefully the lovely EP was on the ball x

(bit crapola here as dh thinks he is about to be sacked. Am furiously making soup as an avoidance tactic, but it's not doing much for reducing my blood pressure. Black bean today.)

Ds's bag was ok. One pair of pants with skid marks but nowhere near the bag of doom we had last time. He had paed appt yesterday and we both bigged him up hugely as it was a massive step towards getting a grip of That phobia.

Unfortunately last night he was really reluctant to strip for the bath, which is an enormous flag, and he'd soiled really heavily and was soaking wet. He claimed it was about three hours previously but he'd not changed or been to the toilet and none of us had noticed. camhs on 1st March. This morning he missed the bus. His iPod and wii are banned for a week. I have no idea whether punishing him is the right thing to do or not. He just doesn't seem to care. sooooo, crapola chez moi. (literally. Lol) but I'm off to the stationery store in a bit and I'm going to get a huge white board for over the desk in his room to do a morning timetable for him.

I seem to spend my whole life cross. It isn't good for him or me. I just keep thinking we are trying to get him to do stuff on everyone else's timetable and that maybe home Ed would let him get himself together and build his confidence up. Having missed the bus, I got him to take off his coat and finish his breakfast and brush his teeth (no, he hadn't done any of that when he left the house. The bus had already driven past but I made him run for it anyway). He then sat for ten minutes thoughtfully ignoring his food and working out square roots. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Raaaaaaaargh.

Have a better day than me! Please!

Thanks guys. Its been a looong day!

Lambskin, hope your paed appointment goes well. Good to hear you have the school on side. It really does make all the difference.

Madwoman, its sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment. I'm sorry your going through such a bad time. Not surprised you're frantically making soup. With me its cleaning, dh always knows there's something up when I start doing the skirting boards with a toothbrush! Really hope your dh is wrong and things work out for him job-wise.

Glimmer of hope there with the contents of ds's bag, so sorry it went backwards again yesterday. Timetable sounds like a plan. We did that with our boys last year and it really did help to get them more organised in the mornings. They don't need it anymore, as the schedule became habit eventually. Hopefully it will be the same for your ds.

I really don't know what to say about the home ed thing. There was a time when I was so sure it was the only way for ds1 and now he's doing so well, but only after a lot of support has been put in place. I am always painfully aware that it all has the potential to come tumbling down at any minute should anything change. Its such a stressful situation to be in, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Hope things start to look up for you really soon and sending some very unMNetty ((hugs)).

The EP meeting went well - I think. She made it clear that he wouldn't be getting much in the way of 1:1 lesson support, but also that she is adamant he needs a great deal of pastoral care, support around anxiety management and emotional regulation, plus appropriate OT work to help with his posture, writing and fidgeting and ongoing training around social skills, in a social skills group type setting that will enable him to regularly practise the rules he's being taught around social interaction.

She told me quite a bit of what his teacher and the SENCO told her and it sounds like we are all saying the same things. She then met with him on his own for 20 minutes or so and said that basically he said a lot of the same things we did and flatly refused to even contemplate discussing the future - which we told her he would.

At the end she told us that the statement would be sent along with a copy of her report and she seems pretty sure a statement will be forthcoming. She feels the support will take the form of a set amount of time each morning with somene to get him organised and set up for the day and deal with any anxieties etc, another at lunch and again at hometime and that she feels he needs a dedicated member of staff to do this in order for him to be able to build up trust and confidence in them. 1:1 support would also be given for interpretative work such as literacy/comprehension etc. Best news ever is that she is going to be recommending that he has a laptop! Never in a million years did I think they would go for that at primary, especially as he already has an Alphasmart, but she totally agrees with his teacher that in his case the Alphasmart isn't a good fit and he needs a laptop to meet his potential.

Can't remember the rest just now, but generally feel it went very well.

We are just back from dinner with the ILs as its dh's birthday today. Went to the only place in town that does gf - which is a generic chain Italian place. Service was dire - two and half hours for a main and three pre-made desserts and massive portions of the food and drinks menu out of stock. The dcs enjoyed themselves though.

Going to curl up now and watch some of the Farscape dvds I've treated myself to off ebay.

Woo hoo! That's what they said with dd2- she had an alpha smart for a bit, but it was so limiting that they just gave her a laptop (it had been in her statement since yr r anyway, so not a surprise...) the organizational stuff sounds great too - that's exactly what my ds needs lol, as well as yours! Great that everyone is saying the same thing, too....

Dinner sounds wearing. Pjs and tv sound far more welcoming.

How was ds after the meetings? Did he feel listened to? Or just a bit fed up that yet more people wanted to talk to him? Hopefully his meal out has distracted him anyway (for the many hours it took!)

If it helps I am covered in slightly sludgy grey splashes as the soup decided to have a bit of a hissy ... Perhaps slightly over enthusiastic use of the blender whilst the pot was still on the stove...

Ds was fine about the meeting. I'd spent so much time preparing him for it that he was quite blase really. The only part he was bothered about was when she tried ot ask him about how he feels about the future. Apparently he said "I don't like thinking about the future, so I'm not going to talk about that." He also tried to engage the EP in a discussion on the merits of certain video games, but she was onto him and managed a swift dodge.

He was over the moon to get a gf pizza in a real restaurant for a change and mil bought him his own gf cake to make up for not having any of the birthday cake, so he's gone to bed a happy bunny.

Hope you've managed to de-splodge yourself.

Sounds like you're having a mixed time outofbody. Sorry about your dh, will he be able to find something else relatively easily? Your ds's bag must have been a relief though! No worse than what I find in the laundry basket anyway! Ds has similar tendencies and you just never know when it's going to happen. He cheerfully told me he'd done a poo on the front room carpet once - not a happy day. He just reacts by getting very angry and indignant, absolutely no shame whatsoever. So have another ((hug)) from me (and then a blokey punch on the arm )

So pleased your ds is getting an upgrade to a laptop moose, that should help. Having a school that is in tune with you instead of fighting you is incredible isn't it shouldn't feel this ridiculously grateful, it should be a given but there we are!

I was flagging a bit with my 5 rules diet and was planning a major breakout on Saturday involving wine and god knows what else, so I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 4lbs in a week!! So I'm going to keep going . I've got another week to go so it isn't forever.

4lbs! Fantastic, welldone Lamb.

I needed that kick up the backside reminder that if you stick with doing things properly it really does work. I need to a similar detox really to break all the bad habits I've got into over the past month or so.

I was really bad at dh's birthday tea last night. Goats cheese pizza followed by a sundae thing that consisted of two types of ice cream, meringue and whipped cream - then came home and had a small piece of both dh's chocolate birthday cake and ds1's gf lemon cake.

Serves me right - but I'm up 4lbs today, after finally being down a pound yesterday morning from the 153 I have been sitting at for ages. I know its the salt and water retention thing, but I still feel suitably chastised.

So, I am now eating nectarine, strawberry and blueberry in fat free natural yoghurt for breakfast and have a massive latte sized cup of detox tea next to me. This is it now, I've had enough of being crap with my food intake and need to sort myself out. (The skinny combats that need to be worn in roughly 3 weeks time might also have a little something to do with it. )

Not counting my chickens re the statement and laptop, but am quietly hopeful as this particular EP is very highly thought of by the LA and seems pretty confident that it will all go ahead according to her reccomendations.

Yes, it definitely makes a huge difference when the school are on side. In our case its the same school, but they have massively pulled their socks up and upped their game in relation to SNs over the past twelve months and its

Hope you are having a better day Madwoman. (Still doesn't feel right calling you outofbody for some reason.)

Well done, lamb! That's amazing!

Bit more positive here today. Dh has been pondering about setting up his own consultancy business on the side for a year or so, and had a name sorted but no real impetus. So I spent a bit of time last night doing searches and playing about with other business names and came up with one that I think will work. Did a corporate search and there seems to be no matches, so the name is now 'his' if he registers in the next 90 days... He's had a few leads where they've said 'oh, it's a shame you haven't got a consultancy as we could put some work your way' so I think even if he never uses it, it might be worth having there as an 'in case'... It's reasonably cheap to register. (and I like the name I came up with much better then his lol) whether they will come up with the goods is a different matter!

He's also got a meeting this afternoon with a guy who has his own consultancy (but in california, obv...) and is looking for someone with the right experience locally, as he has identified a fairly substantial gap in the market and has clients in the province who have expressed an interest. No idea whether it would be employed or subcontracted, but he's going to go and discuss whether he fits the bill. (the last guy who was asked to leave dh's current company passed his name along as he has the 'right' profile)

Right, enough stressing over jobs. (I decided to just get on and do it last night as dh came home from work really late after spending an hour putting the marketing manager back together after the CEO had been threatening to sack everyone on the spot after he found out someone (actually everyone) had been discussing wages with her... as the only woman she had realised she was being paid 20 grand less and had a week less vacation time than all the men...)

Today dd2 is skiing again with school, but I have to get her there (the prospect of her getting herself on the school bus with ski kit is a non starter!) so better get on. Can't go to boot camp as a result, but only one more ski lesson left, so will soon be back to twice a week!

I have soup for lunch, and I think, um, salmon and a huge salad for dinner. The low carbing is making me feel less bloated, which I hope is a good sign. I'm avoiding the scales until Friday though....

Think combats, think combats...

Ha, lol at the spelling in my earlier post! Having lots of trouble with my words today - said hosepipe instead of hospital earlier - that one had ds2 practically rolling on the floor with hysterics.

Good to hear dh is more positive and has some encouraging leads. Disgraceful about the male/female pay and holiday divide. Dh's company is exactly the same in that respect.

I have decided to buy some ear plugs and go ahead and cook up some soups regardless of my moaning dcs. I refuse to cook two meals when they need some hearty healthy food every bit as much as I do, so they can just put up with it.

Been distracting myself from food by searching ebay after deciding I need a bigger gun for my costume. My sound effect Uzi has arrived, but frankly, having watched some of the dvds Aeryn wouldn't be seen dead with such a trifling tin toy of a gun! I reckon some of the cheapo giant super-soakers look the most impressive. Pondering buying a mahoosive but very cheap one and investing in a can of black acrylic spray paint.

Still haven't managed any home or project work with the boys - none of us are at all motivated and its getting kind of desperate now, with only three days left till they go back. The thing is, ds1 is so much more relaxed and less anxious than he was at the beginning of the holiday, it seems a shame to bring up schoolwork and start winding him up again.

My second/reserve set of combats - the ones with the coated finish - arrived today and despite supposedly also being a 14 are actually too big. They'll be ok with a belt, but more wrinkly than cool sci-fi methinks. I actually like them though, the finish is very subtle and not at all shiny or waxy, which is good. I reckon they'll be cracking dog walking trousers.

@ cracking dog walking trousers ! I'd built up this image of you looking all Lara Croft with your big gun and tight combats ...

Thank you for the support guys. It's the second weekend without wine staring me in the face and although I don't think about it most of the time, it's that hour or two in the evening that I find a bit finger chewy. One of dh's oldest friends (who also happens to be ds 1's dad ) is staying at ours tonight. This usually involves lots of alcohol so I've told them they have to go to the pub. I shall be drinking sparkling water with a slice of lime with my super-healthy tea, putting on pjs, going to bed and reading. Feel very saintly.

Outofbody/Madwoman - I feel a bit wrong calling you Outofbody too. What would you prefer? I still think of you as Madwoman. I'm reading Jane Eyre at the moment, assuming it was a reread but no! I have never read it before in my life how shameful is that? I've got a bloody degree in Eng Lit aswell! I've read Wide Sargasso Sea several times, seen a shed load of tv adaptations and just sort of assumed. Tut. Anyway, it's very good isn't it?