How do you lose weight quickly after giving birth?

[emilygrace]

My partner is putting pressure on me to lose weight quickly after my baby is born ( I'm 8 months pregnant). Before I had my first baby I was quite slim, about 8 1/2 stone ( I'm 5 5") and a size 8. I didn't put on too much weight during the last pregnancy, about 1 3/4 stone, but afterwards I couldn't lose it at all, despite breast feeding, exercising and watching my diet. I also felt very exhausted all the time and it turned out I had developed thyroid disease during the pregnancy and had a very underactive thyroid. The consultant said I had done well not to gain weight, let alone lose it and that it could take up to a year to get my blood levels back to normal.

However, 6 months later I fell pregnant again ( not planned). My Dp is making comments about my size as I have gained about 1 1/2 stone in this pregnancy and still have another month to go.I am beginning to panic as I don't know how to lose the weight after this baby is born.I tried really hard last time and got nowhere. It's hard enough to look after 2 children under 18 months without starving yourself and finding time to exercise! When I'm breast feeding I feel ravenous!

I am getting so down about this , I don't know what to do.

I have no advice, but wanted to express my at your DP, especially as you have a medical condition.

Emily, I think your partner has to accept, like a grown man, that he will be with a woman who will have had 2 children and we look different to teenagers who haven't had children. You have hardly piled on the weight. If you start crash dieting you will place one strain too many on your body which frankly currently has a higher purpose than looking exactly like he wants it to.

Good luck with the second birth

Beansprout, he thinks I have piled on the weight. When we met I was 7 1/2 stone, I was 8 1/2 stone when I conceived my first baby and now I am 11 stone!!!! I have gone from a size 6/8 to a heavily pregnant size 14. He thinks I am huge and keeps comparing me to women he knows who have "got their figure back" I feel like such a failure

I'm sorry emilygrace, but if I met him, I'd have to smack him one.

You haven't piled it on, and you are certainly NOT a failure. You are heavily pregnant. The best thing you can do, I think, is to eat healthily and not put yourself under too mkuch pressure. It's bloody hard enough being a mum as it is without the extra pressure of "getting your body back" and also having an under active thyroid.

If my DP were to comment, I would point out that he is no Brad Pitt.

oh emilygrace, I am so annoyed with your dp... I can barely remember being so cross with someone I have never met!
his comments are outrageous to someone eight month's pregnant with a young toddler to look after and an underactive thyroid. I don't mean to be rude but what an !!!!
you deserve lots of support - I can only suggest that you ignore his comments as much as you can, make personal comments about his personal appearance (in a jokey way hahaha) unless of course he is physically perfect?? and be very very kind to yourself. no starving yourself fgs. if the thyroid condition is being treated then with any luck you shouldn't have the same difficulties. can you find an ally who might make him shut the f* up for a bit - his mum, sister??
god this is so unlike me but {hug}
look after yourself.

I would give your DH a good slap and then..... go to Slimming World (if you want to). A woman in my class has lost weight very steadily since joining - she has a 6 week old DD. It is a very healthy eating plan and takes into account the extra calories you'd need if you are breast feeding

This is awful! He sounds - sorry to say this - like a vile sexist pig of a man. HOw terrible to make you feel like this when you are vulnerable due to your pregnancy (it's terrible at any time, actually but even worse now). I think you need to tell him how awful his comments are making you feel. You have hardly put on any weight at either time and you are clearly very slim. I think your partner has severe psychological problems that he is pushing onto you and he needs help. Actually he needs hitting with a brick IMO, but help sounds kinder. He's NOT normal and he is being cruel, and perhaps you need to make him realise that. He will lose your love if he carries on like this. Feel so and on your behalf.

EG - at ur DP - give him a blooyd hard slap (or tell him to get on here for us to do it!) how rude of him to compare u and say such things.

tell him - it took 9 months to get the weight on, it will be at least 9 months to get it all back off again. shame on him.

just keep to eating sensibly and see how things go - don't put pressure on urself to look how he wants u to.

Munz - I told him about the 9 months on/off thing last time to try to prepare him. But then I lost pratically NO weight at all, just really the baby etc. It was just 9 months on, then another 6 months staying on.

I think he is being unrealistic but I don't know what to do. Part of me would love to slap him ( at least verbally!!!) but I don't exactly feel at my most confident. And I know there are plenty slim women out there who would be happy to "console" about his fat slobby partner who has let herself go. We've all seen the "I fancy my best friend's husband" threads.

Emilygrace, this is awful. I agree with Aloha, and more so; he really sounds completely bizarre about women and their bodies. (And I do know - I think a lot of us do - how it feels to be low when the baby weight doesn't go, I really do; although it may cheer you up to know that oddly enough the second time round mine did go, whereas the first time I was so miserable for about a year that I wouldn't meet any ex-boyfriends .)

So, as you know, he's being unrealistic - and has a bit of a problem with women's bodies. I do also understand why you worry that he might go off; but honestly, do you think another woman would like a man who appealed to them because the mother of his child was still looking a bit porky? I wouldn't.

Have you told him how sad and panicky and disrespected his comments make you feel? And that gaining weight while you are pregnant is normal and you cannot help it. It's what makes his healthy children.

Message withdrawn

I tried to tell him how I feel but he just said I am over reacting or taking it the wrong way.He said he's just trying to encourage me (to lose weight or not gain any more). So when he says "Oh doesn't Joanne look great because she has her figure back" he means me to think I will soon too ( if I just made more of an effort). BTW Joanne's "baby" is nearly 2.

I think it is worse this week because my sister came to visit - she is much younger and prettier and 6 months pregnant with her first so she's still quite slim. Also she is keeping dowm her weight by still smoking ( I know, I know, she wont listen to anyone.... but she has cut down).

I will try to get his sister to be my ally, as someone suggested. Although her kids are teenagers she is not skinny either and she would understand. His mother is a real nightmare and would agree with him I'm sure. She bought one of her other daughters-in-law some sexy underwear/nightwear just after their third baby was born. And gave her some advice about how she should keep her DH "happy". Oh I just cringe to think about it

Ggglimpopo - this pregnancy wasn't planned. So like most men I suspect he thinks its somehow " my fault" so why should he have to suffer ( me being fat and tired). Last time round he even said to people " Kristina's got herself pregnant". Even though that baby was planned.

I know its not logical but i think that's how he feels .

Emilgrace,

You are eight months pregnant. Now is not the time to be worrying about losing weight. Your partner - and I'm trying to hold back here! - should be helping you to remain relaxed and happy in preparation for a healthy chidlbirth for the sake of both you and the baby's health. Getting stressed now - or limiting the amount of much-needed calories that you and the baby get - will do neither of you any good, particularly as you already have a health problem. There is nothing you can do to lose weight for a couple of months, and the last month of pregnancy is when the weight gain quickens.

Your DP needs to be kicked into shape and fast. You are in a vulnerable position right now. I suggest that you take your DP to your next check-up with your midwife/GP. Hopefully as they are a medical practitioner your DP will listen to them, and they might be able to explain to him what effect your thyroid disease has on your body, if he is not clear on that. (Although, sorry to say, it sounds like he doesn't care, not if he's putting pressure on an eight month pregnant woman, whom he is supposed to care about, to diet). I'm sure your midwife or GP would happily put your partner straight. You don't need to tell him beforehand you will bring up the issue - just get him to the appointment.

7 1/2stone, as you once were, is medically underweight for your height. 8 1/2 stone is only just in the normal range. The amount of weight you put on during your pregnancies is average, or even less than.

I'm worried that you're worried some other woman will help 'comfort' your DP. Is that what he's telling you?

The priorities here are your health and that of your two babies. That should be your DP's top priority as well. If it isn't, then maybe you should consider counselling to discuss what you both expect from a partner and a relationship. In my opinion, your DP sounds dreadfully immature if he is putting your appearance above your health, and that of your unborn child.

Lots of bloody good advice from everyone above, I can't really add anything except to say if there is a que to 'bop' your dp one, I'm in it men. I suggest printing this thread off and showing it to him, grrrrrr (on your behalf) don't let him grind you down girl, it truely is the last thing you need at the moment {{{{Hugs}}}}

emilygrace
you are NOT FAT! you are (I would like to bet) looking utterly gorgeous.
please try not to panic or get too down.
I know this because I am 34 weeks I am a good couple of stone heavier than you...
sending you tons of good thoughts

emilygrace your best bet for losing a lot of weight fast is to lose your dh!!!! What an arrogant, superficial, uncaring @#! Sorry but needed to be said. I really hope that he is loving in every other way and a terrific dad to make up for his ignorance. As for your sister who cares if she is slim she is risking serious harm to her baby by smoking whilst pregnant. Try to ignore your dh as best you can, eat healthily/exercise safely and enjoy your pregnancy and the baby growing inside of you.

Taitai - thank you for your post.But there is NO WAY that my partner would come to a drs appointment with me - he is far too busy with his work. When I went into hospital to have the last baby he took his laptop with him so he could get some work done, rather than just sit around.

He hasn't told me that he is seeing someone else. But he is away a lot. For example, he is going away tomorrow straight from work ( at 5pm) to stay overnightin a hotel 40 miles away because he has a meeting there at 11am on Tuesday. It would only take him an hour to drive there from home.

Um, what do you like about him? Sorry to say this but he sounds absolutely horrible!

Oh Emilygrace,

I feel for you. It hadn't occured to me that your partner was seeing someone else now, only that perhaps he was telling you he might find someone if you didn't 'shape up', so to speak. But you obviously have your doubts about his fidelity.

I can understand he might just have far too much work on to be able to take time out to attend a Dr appt with you. But I can't help feeling it's a case of priorities again - that he probably could, if he worked late for example, come to an appt, but he won't do that. Taking his laptop with him to hospital; I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Was he your birthing partner for the last birth, or was he too busy working? Did he take paternity leave?

What are the positives about your relationship? Maybe thinking of the good stuff will help your state of mind right now.

PS: Given you are heavily pregnant with a young child, again anyone prioritising you and your child would not stay overnight when they could drive to the meeting (which is mid morning rather than early morning) in an hour the next morning. You need lots of rest and help with your toddler.

I feel there is more at issue here than simply your weight.

Emilygrace

i agree with mymama - the fastest way to shift excess pounds is to get rid of your &# of a partner.

You are not overweight by any stretch of the imagination from what you say. You shouldnt be having to worry about this kind of thing now and he shouldnt be making you worry.

Sorry, but he sounds like an utter pig.

I cant give any more helpful advice than that.

Oh Emilygrace ... I feel so for you.
I really do ...
The last thing you want to hear here, at 8 months pregnant, is that your DH is such a horrible person ...
But I am sorry, he is ... awful! Took his laptop to hospital while you were in labour????
I put on 4 stone when I was pg with DS, lost it all only after a year and then put on 4.5 stone with DD and only lost it after 18 months.
I am slim ... people think I am slim naturally but for me it is constant work. I put on weight very easily and am a life time member of weight watchers. I have also, in the past been on the brink of eating disorders due to crap comments by d*ckhead boyfriends.
By the time I was 9 months pg with DS and the size of a house I would have been a headcase had it not been for the support of my DH who really couldn't give a monkeys what my size is. My worries about my weight only come from me ...

There is plenty of time for you to lose weight (and really you haven't put that much on) ... and if you do want to lose weight it should be because you want to ... not because some bloke, who doesn't know his ar$e from his elbow, tells you to.

Hell, if you can't get fat when you are pregnant when can you????? That was my motto anyway!

One more thing...

Someone below suggested you go to Slimming World to lose weight. I'm sure they were well-meaning, but given you have a thyroid condition, the only person who can competently advise you on losing weight is your doctor. Slimming World and Weight Watchers et. al. will ask you whether you have any health problems and if so, whether you have your doctor's consent to follow their programme.