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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Doctors comments...GUTTED!

80 replies

jendot · 22/07/2010 14:07

Hi,

Just wanted a shoulder to sob on!

Im a pretty big girl.Age 31 Size 20 and only 5ft2" tall..I was bigger but lost about 2st last year and have managed with a struggle to keep 90% of it off. Am not actively dieting at the moment just maintaining. I have bad days, really bad days and good days.
We have just moved to a new area and I had to change doctors. I went in this morning to get my pill...she refused to prescribe it to me as I am too 'fat' and has put me on the mini pill (bit miffed as have been really settled on it and have had lots of probs with contraception in the past but if it's not safe to be on the combined pill then I guess it's not safe). Then she spent half an hour telling me how 'obese' I was how I obviously eat far too much and how I should excercise more (just to point out she was matchstick thin and has obv never dieted in the past!). I have been referred to the 'weight management' clinic..GULP and have been sent for blood tests to ensure I haven't done myself any long term harm being so 'obese'!!

Im so gutted

I know Im fat..I really do. I have lived with it every day for 15years. I really could have done without someone being quite so brutal about it. You know when you walk out and just sob!

I then ended up in Mc Donalds eating the hugest fattiest burger and mozzarella dippers to console myself...and now feel fatter than ever!!!

OP posts:
muddleduck · 22/07/2010 14:14

although I have to say that a similarly humilating encounter with a practice nurse was what finally made me sort my weight out.

I hope the clinic is helpful.

shinybootsofleather · 22/07/2010 14:24

Hey Jendot. I am the same height as you and weighed 17 stone last February. I gave birth to DS in September 2009. I agree that the GP shouldn't have been so harsh. I went in to ask for help with weightloss and managed to get a referral to Slimming World for 12 weeks. My GP (a lovely rake-thin woman) was brilliant and really encouraging. I think the general consensus amongst many is "bash the fatty". I have definitely been a victim of that and I have found that would set me back much more than they perhaps realised whilst making insensitive commments. I am now 15 stone. I have a very long way to go but feel a lot more positive about things. When I was 2 stone heavier I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Exercise is the key. Start slowly with the gym and walking, and then move on to cardio. I do Davina and the 30 Day Shred and they have speeded up my weightloss a lot. Good luck and don't let them get you down.

flibbertigibbert · 22/07/2010 14:44

Try not to get upset by her comments. I was referred to a dietitian after having a BMI of 31 and binge eating problems and it's been really helpful. I go to a weekly weigh in run by dietitians and I find it really good for staying on track.

A couple of things struck me about your post. You say you're not 'actively dieting' and also that you have 'good and bad' days. When I saw the dietitian, she asked me what a typical day was and I told her it was either 'good' or 'bad'. Since seeing the dietitian, I've moved away from the mindset of dieting and towards general healthy eating. I no longer have totally 'bad' days because if I overeat at one meal, I try to have something lighter for the next meal. Like your doctor, my dietitian is tiny. At first I was a bit at taking weight loss advice from someone who was so thin, but then I thought that she must be doing something right.

Don't feel bad about the McDonalds, maybe you could make a nice fresh vegetable soup for dinner so you should still be within your calorie intake for the day.

AlaskaNebraska · 22/07/2010 14:45

god i think the doctor was doing her job
i mean macdonalds
what were you thinking

shinybootsofleather · 22/07/2010 14:52

I imagine AlaskaNebraska is that the doctor made her feel so despondent that she thought screw it and binged. I have been there myself.

sapphireblue · 22/07/2010 14:55

jendot...........the GP was so not doing her job properly to have made you feel so bad. I'm a size 20 too.........big binge eating problem that I just can't get a grip of. I'm planning to stop bf-ing soon and was going to go to the doc to ask for the pill.............I'll be too scared to now!

thumbwitch · 22/07/2010 14:55

Doc didn't need to be so brutal - could have been more constructive rather than destructive. However, "comfort eating" is the worst kind of response to someone telling you how it is.

Perhaps you could try and get some help with the need for comfort eating rather than see the dietitian.

sapphireblue · 22/07/2010 15:04

Alaska has clearly never had a weight problem so shouldn't bother commenting so unhelpfully.

shinybootsofleather · 22/07/2010 15:05

I'd recommend trying to cook food from scratch as much as possible. I was never a brilliant cook before I started losing weight. I tend now to have eggs for breakfast poached or cooked in fry light on wholemeal toast with some tomatoes/lean bacon/ mushrooms fried in fry light or a very small amount of oil. I find that sets me up for the day and I don't feel the need to snack as much when I eat an eggy breakfast. Make low-fat cottage pies, make pasta dishes with wholemeal pasta, make soups. Freeze portions of low-fat food so that you always have something to eat when you are busy. Make sure you are well stocked up with fruit and veg to have as snacks. With regard to comfort eating, if you are always hungry Slimming World is a good diet as there is always something you can have if really suffering. I think WW have a plan with unlimited veg and fruit as well. Granted it's not chocolate or white bread with butter, but there's always something so you don't feel deprived. After you've been dieting for a while your stomach will shrink a little and you will probably not need as much food.

AlaskaNebraska · 22/07/2010 15:05

no never
i am a size 6

AlaskaNebraska · 22/07/2010 15:06

one MEAL
one snack
fruit inbetween
portion sizes

think how you WANT TO BE and will eating processed crap make oyu happy
nothing tastes as good as being slim feels

shinybootsofleather · 22/07/2010 15:07

Well thanks for your "insight" Alaska. Probably not what Jendot needs at the moment so trot on.

AlaskaNebraska · 22/07/2010 15:09

oh fgs
this " ahh poor you " is hwat has got her to this state.
its shit being overweight. you need ideas to CHANGE not sympathy

traceybath · 22/07/2010 15:12

Dr's are getting a lot stricter about handing out the combined pill - I'm not on it as am over 35. So if you have any 'risk' factor they won't prescribe.

If I were you - I'd arrange to go back and see GP or practice nurse and ask for diet help.

Losing weight is hard and so is maintaining that loss so good luck.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/07/2010 15:13

isn't there a happy medium though, between helping her and kicking her up the arse quite so hard?

You might just find the clinic will help you though. It is bloody hard trying to struggle with your weight alone, and maybe they will be good and supportive, try to see it as a positive.

5StoneDown · 22/07/2010 15:15

Hi Jen

I was at my docs recently to go back onto the pill... I have lost almost 5 stone since having my ds but still got quite a long way to go.

The doctor kept saying I couldn't go back on the old pill that I was on as I 'had put on soooo much weight' I said I think you'll find I have lost 5 stone you cheeky wench, she was referring to a weight record from 10 years ago, and I'm currently about 7lb above that weight!

shinybootsofleather · 22/07/2010 15:17

Ideas to change yes. However, from what she said it appears that her doctor was extremely negative and berated her for being fat for a good half an hour. My doctor was very clear about the risks of obesity, then suggested concrete ways to lose it and was very positive. She even managed to help me with cheaper gym sessions at the YMCA as I did not have the income at that stage to pay a monthly gym membership. Yes, tell her the risks, and then offer a diet plan,suggest ways to sort herself out etc. I am not convinced by the weight management clinic tbh. I suspect it is some rubbish part of the "Change for Life" scheme designed to tick boxes. If anyone has been to one of these clinics I would be interested to hear their opinion. I think groups like WW and SW are the best way to lose weight as you have lots of support and people who are "in the same boat". People overeat for many different reasons. It's not that bloody simple all of the time, especially with comfort eating. Depression was an issue for me with PND after EMCS for example. Sometimes you do need sympathy AlaskaNebraska as well as ideas to help you change.

5StoneDown · 22/07/2010 15:18

arghh edit button I need you! is it working now

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/07/2010 15:18

I doubt the Dr had 30 mins to berate the OP, knowing how short appts are these days.

Jacksmama · 22/07/2010 15:20

Alaska... pointing out to someone whois struggling with weight issues that you're a size 6 and that you have never dieted is called gloating, in my little world. Has it occurred to you that you may just be bloody lucky with your metabolism?
Hope it never slows down on you...

Weight is usuall, but not always a calories in vs calories out issue. However... there are exceptions to the rule. Granted, McD's is undeniably not a healthy choice but I defy any woman on the planet to say she's never felt like crap and reached for a glass of wine or chocolate.

Maybe not you... you probably go out for a nice refreshing triathlon or something...

You were very unkind.

traceybath · 22/07/2010 15:21

Jack - Alaska is being ironic about being a size 6.

ZeppoMarx · 22/07/2010 15:21

Why do you assume that the Dr has never dieted? For all you know she used to be a size 20 too

shinybootsofleather · 22/07/2010 15:22

It does seem quite a long appointment Fanjo. Maybe the doc was on her soapbox!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/07/2010 15:25

i can imagine it probably FELT like hours though.

fartmeistergeneral · 22/07/2010 15:34

Alaska was maybe a bit harsh, but from the OP's first post (all I have to go on obviously), it's hard to tell if the doctor was being harsh or speaking kindly to try to help the her. Obviously, the OP is going to find it harsh, as she was humiliated, but all I'm trying to say is - it IS unhealthy being size 20 and just over 5'. Sympathy isn't going to help.

OP, you lost 2 stone last year which you've just about managed to keep off. So you know you can do it. But do you WANT to do it? If not (a la Dawn French, happy the size she is etc), fine. But the fact that you've come on here makes me think you're not happy at the size you are.

You don't know why the doctor was thin. Maybe she's also been overweight - knows the dangers - and wants to help someone else.

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