Doctors comments...GUTTED!

[jendot]

Hi,

Just wanted a shoulder to sob on!

Im a pretty big girl.Age 31 Size 20 and only 5ft2" tall..I was bigger but lost about 2st last year and have managed with a struggle to keep 90% of it off. Am not actively dieting at the moment just maintaining. I have bad days, really bad days and good days.
We have just moved to a new area and I had to change doctors. I went in this morning to get my pill...she refused to prescribe it to me as I am too 'fat' and has put me on the mini pill (bit miffed as have been really settled on it and have had lots of probs with contraception in the past but if it's not safe to be on the combined pill then I guess it's not safe). Then she spent half an hour telling me how 'obese' I was how I obviously eat far too much and how I should excercise more (just to point out she was matchstick thin and has obv never dieted in the past!). I have been referred to the 'weight management' clinic..GULP and have been sent for blood tests to ensure I haven't done myself any long term harm being so 'obese'!!

Im so gutted

I know Im fat..I really do. I have lived with it every day for 15years. I really could have done without someone being quite so brutal about it. You know when you walk out and just sob!

I then ended up in Mc Donalds eating the hugest fattiest burger and mozzarella dippers to console myself...and now feel fatter than ever!!!

I had a similar thing happen to me at a pill check. My weight has yo-yo'd from 11st to 15st over the past 10 years, so I know how hard and frustrating it is to lose, put on, lose, put on etc etc

My doc signed me up for the NHS weight management program, which did work for a while. But I am one of those people who need the discipline of regular weigh ins. The weigh in clinic's were all during the day, and for someone that works it didnt work out. The only weight check I had was every 3 months or so, so it was easy to lose focus and cheat.

So I gave up and consequently put on the weight again.

My DH is also very overweight, and after a health scare and a very serious/harsh talk from his doctor, he was told lose weight or die .. basically!

So we are now both at weight watchers and it is working. It is tough, but we have both lost a stone in around 12 weeks and I feel fantastic. I have still got a couple of stone to lose, and my DH has 5 stone to lose, but we will get there.

I think sometimes to have a doctor/nurse to look you in the eye and tell you a harsh truth, that deep down you know, just gives you that extra push to start doing something about your weight and live a heathier life. I am sure she wasnt intending to be cruel, more like tough love as it were.

You can do it, stick with it and try different diets to see how you feel on them. I could never get on with slimming world, it was a little too fiddly and since I have strange intolerance's to some foods, then it didnt suit.

I would recommend a weekly meeting too. It gets you out of the house and chatting to other people in a similar situation. Most of the people that run Weight Watchers all have been on diets, so they understand what your going through.

Just by losing a stone I feel great and not hiding in lose baggy clothing.

It's tough, but my god is it worth it!!

Don't know if you've done Slimming World in the past Jendot but it has changed recently with something called Extra Easy you can do instead of those Green and Red day malarky things. The basics are you eat free food for your meals from the list (poultry, meat, grains, pasta, rice, potatoes, pulses, veg and fruit) with a third of your plate being what they call superfree or something like that. Basically all fruit and veg apart from potatoes, sweetcorn, parsnips, peas and avocadoes off the top of my head. You get one of their A choices ie milk or cheese and a B choice which is bread, cereal and some other stuff, then 5 to 15 syns a day.

I've been faffing about with losing weight for years now and asked to be referred to SW when I saw the Practice nurse to get a tick removed recently. I weighed in a week ago exactly the same weight as I was many years ago on what I think was the first weightloss thread on this section of MN, I remember Alaska being on it as well. Fast forward a week and I'm 5 pounds lighter.

It isn't called Extra Easy for nothing. Once you get the hang of it it just kind of fits in with life and you don't realise you're doing it. Very flexible, we were having friends over for a BBQ at the weekend and was all sorted for that but changed it to the last moment to a Chinese and it still fitted in. Two other friends are doing it (one is a practice nurse) and there was someone else who started the same time as me also on the GP referral scheme who also lost 5 pounds this week as well (caused problems as the one who had lost the least was going to buy coffee after!) I've gone on a bit but am really impressed with it as are other friends who have recently started.

route cause? I meant root

I second Ewe's India and Neris suggestion. Even if you choose not to follow their diet, I think it's a good read. I bought it for under a fiver from Amazon.

I've been following the diet for two and a half weeks and have lost 9lbs. I expect the weight loss to slow down but even so, that's good going imo. I've also fiund it remarkably easy - far easier than I thought it would be.

I don't think the dr sounds very sensitive but I agree with GOML - once you hit the "obese" phase in the weight charts, pussyfooting around is no good. I think it was the nurse at my own doctor's using the O-word that really got me thinking "bloody hell, this isn't about vanity - this is serious".

jendot have you tried Paul McKenna? There is no deprivation, just reprogramming.

I'm terrible I've been a size four through starving andf not eating and then a size 12 through eating so much crap it's untrue. So my relationship with food is emotional and not functional, like eating when hungry. You can also try hypnotherapy, free with hypnotherapy students, and remember you can be thin just think of yourself that way, what you would look like, what clothes you could wear and even how nice the bath would feel...

Please tell us all how you get on, loads of MNers struggle with food/weight issues and you never have to be alone.

Paul McKenna was very helpful actually - i recommend the book.

The best bit of advice was to concentrate on eating whilst you eat. i used to NEVER do this, my binges would be alone whilst reading a book or watching the telly. If you concentrate on what you eat whilst not being distracted you will eat less, as you consciously realise that you have nearly demolished a whole jumbo bag of doritos, and stop.

I also used to raid the fridge and eat loads of ham and whole blocks of cheese whilst stood up, reading a mag on the kitchen counter. I moved the fridge to the garage to stop this. Bit drastic but it works.

I also do not buy trigger foods - If i had a 6 pack of crisps i would eat them all. Ditto cheese strings, mini baby bels, anything ready to eat. So I do not buy these things at all now.

I also do not get petrol from tesco metro (where I used to buy sausage rolls, cokctail sausages, crisps, dips and sweets) and get it from a crappo garage which only sells boxes of broken biscuits, so removes temptation.

NEVER go in a shop whilst you are hungry.

And don't deny yourself anything - that way madness and bingeing lies. Still go to macdonalds if you want - just don't go large, if you have fries don't have the mozarella dip things, have a happy meal instead.

Oh yes Posie, the bath.

Now, when I pull the plug, only the water in front of me goes down the drain. I am like a a wibbly, human dam. And when I stand up, it's like a small tidal wave

Posie - I am the same as that. My weight doesn't fluctuate too wildly luckily, but I either eat for england and binge, or I starve myself and eat nothing, or very little. It is either feast or famine and I cannot seem to get to grips with healthy eating.

I started worrying about it recently as I found I am starting to hide things - like the bingeing on food on the way home from work, and when I hit diet mode, i would eat nothing all day, then have a bowl of soup in the evening and lie to DP and DD and say that I had a massive bowl of pasta at luch so they wouldn't worry.

Sorry I have hijacked this thread with my own mad issues.

I don't fluctuate GML but me and pregnancy don't go so well together and I make up for all the food I missed!! First pg I went from just under six to 12.5 st. Lollipop to inflated head!!

I think it is a bit like smoking - you get berated for smoking and so the first thing you do when you get away from the berating person is to get smoking

the mnore someone tells you to give up smoking - the more you don't give up and carry on the same.

Perhaps you have to in the same way actually want to change for yourself and not anyone else.
TBH the gp was hopeless for giving up smoking

How would it work if you payed a deitican? Would it work if you had to spenmd moeny on getting your body back into shape - as it would be a waste if you didn't stick to what you were told to do - or join a gym, agian it would be a waste of effort if you over ate.

What works for one might not work for you.

I have plenty of freinds that have done WW and stayed slim

"Doctor had OBVIOUSLY never been fat. Her attitude about fat people was that if you are fat you eat like a pig and sit and watch tv all day! "

Did she actually say that tho? Or is that what you imagined she was thinking?? We need to stick to the facts here and not make the doctor out to be totally evil. She said what needed to be said for your own sake. I'm sure she didn't shout across the waiting room that you needed to be referred to the weight management clinic - did she not go up to the reception desk and say this? Other people would have heard, that's what concerned you.

Obviously, this isn't about the doctor, it's about the OP - but she shouldn't hide behind a 'mean' doctor and what she did or didn't say.

Sorry OP, I do understand your predicament. I am totally obsessed with food. I think about chocolate constantly. But I'm not overweight and won't allow myself to be. There are many times I eat too much but I do try to exercise a few times during the week, and I try to eat fruit even when I don't want to.

It's not easy. It's hard. But it comes down to a choice that you have to make. You could be sitting age 50 with serious health issues - or you could think - bugger it, I have to do something about this.

It's hard. But life is not always easy. Time for talking about it is over. Tomorrow, write down what you want to change and how you want to change it. There will be days when it won't work out. But there will be days when you will feel brilliant. Do it. (as Nike would say)

Goml how much did you lose

Jendot - I sound a bit like you. I'm 5'6, just into the obese section of my bmi chart but last time I needed a check up I felt like a criminal! And it does make you feel worse, I agree. You need to find your own motivation, I have a few:

1. I had bad SPD in my last pg and a back complaint which has never fully gone away - losing a few lbs would make a hell of a difference to my back
2. I had varicose vein surgery 20 months ago and I can feel the other veins in that leg taking the strain, again something which would improve with a little less lard
3. I have some lovely shoes which I want to wear at Christmas with a lovely dress. Every year I try on lovely dresses and am disappointed. This year I won't be.

I've been using www.foodfocus.co.uk for the last couple of days and I find it really useful. You could always come and join us on the LBD for Xmas challenge thread - no judgemental people, just encouraging folk.

Jendot: I can understand how you felt - 4 years ago my doctor threatened to take my pill away too because of my weight (3 stone over) and I use Diannette (for acne) - so you can imagine I didn't want to be fat & spotty!! She said I had high blood pressure too - when I said I'd never had it before she said you've never been 36 before (like I was an old woman!)

She annoyed me so much I went back to my SW books & within the next 9 months lost the 3 stone .... so in some way she helped.

I would ask to speak to someone about how she announced your weight management appt to the whole waiting room as I think she needs to improve on those skills!

I hope you derive some motivation from this horrible experience. Just come on here & we'll ALL try & help.

From my experience I can recommend SW & doing exercise - whether that be joing a gym or getting on your wii fit. I also use 30 Day Shred DVD.

My mum was prescribed the Weight Management Clinic along with a subsidised gym membership - she lost 2 stone & was very happy.

You've just got to find what works for you.

OP, sorry it was brutal at the GP's, but it sounds like you needed the wake-up call. Think of losing weight for your family. Do you have dc's? You want to set a good example for them, don't you?

I second the idea to get on the threads on here or on WW or SW. It is much easier with support.

Only you can decide to do it - you control what goes in your mouth.

These are my tips to control weight:

Scrape all kids leftovers in the bin IMMEDIATELY.

Don't buy crap that you will binge on - if it's not in the cupboard you can't eat it.

Never buy snack bars of chocolate (cooking chocolate is allowed in my house)

Don't buy biscuits/cakes - then you can only have them if you can be bothered to make them. And when you do make them, give the dc's first shot and limit what you allow yourself. Leftovers are kept for tomorrow not eaten today.

Eat fruit when you need a snack.

Don't gulp meals.

Best of luck.

Would you be able to get a treadmill in your house?

I think that urge to reach for that thing that comforts you is a hard habit to retrain. For me it's the glass of wine.

I know it's different for everybody but when I'm frustrated I move around a lot, throw things, slam doors, so I am wishing I had room for a treadmill myself! when I feel mad at the kids I could get on to it and power walk off my frustration.

If you could train yourself to leap on to a tread mill and walk off the grrrrrrrr or the upset, then maybe it would get you past that point of needing to eat.

All of the GPs at my local surgery are overweight. If knowing the right thing to do was all there is to it, you wouldn't get any HCPs overweight. It's more complicated than that. Comfort eating, even habit eating are so entrained and emotional.

Thanks so much for those of you have offered kind words and guidance and advice. I have taken all your comments kind and not so kind on board.

Off on holidays Sun but will join one of the threads when I get back for some long term moral support (can't do SW or WW as classes are too early...hubby not home until late and no babysitter).

Alaska - god knows, I refuse to weigh myself, just go on clothes sizes.

I was a big size 12 but now am a 8-10 dependent on shop.

"you ned to KNOW its hard and man up and GET on with it."

Agreed. Weight Watchers worked for me. Lost a stone. But only by sheer dint of will and really committing to it.

The hard thing is that you have to do it day in, day out. It's easy to want to lose weight, the hard thing is every time you're faced with the choice of eating crap (which is all the time), you have to keep deciding not to. It's tiring and boring.

I managed it by:

• doing it when I felt ready not because someone pushed me into it
• manning up, as Alaska put it, and deciding it was tough but I could do it
• keeping a food diary so I couldn't hide/pretend to myself
• getting more active

You can do it, but it is tough and you need support. WW helped me with that.

Picking an activity you like will help too - something that's fun and you look forward to it.

Finally - once the weight starts coming off, it gets easier because then you get the positive feedback you need - so make sure you still with it for the first few weeks until you see results. Don't weigh yourself too often and don't do silly things like weird diets. Just cut out some crap foods, move more and it will happen.

And... if you screw up and eat McD or whatever, just put it behind you and get back on the diet. The odd screw up doesn't ruin a diet, but getting discouraged does.

Good luck!

I sympathise. A lady Dr at the clinic told me to lose weight I am 12 stone and 5ft 2. I have spent my life on diet and just cant lose weight. She said do this and mimed zipping my mouth shut. I thought that is very helpful. She did a colesterol test to prove I eat rubbish and it was 3.2.

I was sent to the obesity clinic and given orlistat, which stops you absorbing fat.
When I came off it I was in agony. My gall bladder stopped working as I had not used it because of the tablets and now I am awaiting its removal. So i would try the natural way.

It is very hard to lose weight when you have
got used to medicating your feelings with food. I agree with others just increase your exercise to start with as this also lifts your mood.

Jendot

Firstly, congratulations on losing and keeping off 2 stone. You should be proud of that.

I'm sorry that the doctor upset you. They do have your best interests at heart but sounds like it came over in a very unhelpful way. Given the next stop was McDonalds I presume that your weight issues are, in part at least, due to emotional eating issues. I can very much sympathise with this as I've suffered with this a lot myself and people who haven't, and I suspect the doctor is in this category, simply don't get it. They just can't understand why, when you've had the health risks clearly laid out to you, you run for fatty or sugary food. Whereas you and I know that when you end up feeling bad about yourself or feel that you're being told you're worthless you want to run and punish yourself for being a bad person and/or comfort yourself (you can do both simultaneously) with food.

Anyway, there is no easy answer to any of this. There are several books on emotional eating which you can find on Amazon. I've read a few and didn't find the ones that though you should eat whatever you want whenever you want helpful as they seemed aimed more at people who might be overweight due to, say, lack of food available when they were young. But there were some more helpful ones but I can't remember their names off the top of my head.

In terms of actual weight loss there are all manner of programmes you can follow. Have a good look around and see what works for you in your circumstances. I found weigh in only sessions from Weight Watchers helpful even if I didn't closely follow the plan as it gave me a method of keeping on track but I've also had some success in the past with low carb (see Dr Charles Clark rather than Atkins) and using online calories tracker at weightlossresources.co.uk. I know other people have done well on Slimming World but I'm not familiar with the details of how that works. Also you don't necessarily have to solely stick to one method - I sometimes found losing say a stone with one and then switching to another helped me keep going.

Good luck with it all.

jendot I used to take my little boy to SW meetings. There were loads of women with kids there. They often would play in a separate room whilst the meeting was going on. My SW consultant seemed surprisd that I'd asked whether it was OK to bring DS TBH.

Hi ya girlies...

I had recently been taken off the depo injection because I was two stone over weight... before my last injection I went to the practice nurse and as I was telling her my concerns with my weight gain she just stuck the injection in my bum without listening at all!! I am training to be a nurse and there are certainly ways to speak to people sometimes pandering to the person is not always to way that helps but the shock factor! I do agree that the doctor to jendots was way too harsh and went the wrong way about it especially as she went and binged.. Support and encouragement is what you need and your eventuall feel good about yourself as you see the results!

I have now lost a stone and a half and have one more stone to go in order to be happy! I have started exercise and really recommend that 30 day shred its great and I love Jillian.... You should see her in action she gets right in your face and asks you why you are fat??? And the answers are always the same i was lazy and ate too much!!!!!

I am doing Lighterlife Lite and am loving it... it can be hard sometimes but am seeing results alot quicker than I thought.. so will continue with that and hope that the management program with help me on the right track! I have had no side effects with hairloss or anything and am loving the water side of it all!!!!

I am sending positive signals your way and if you need any help! We are all here to support and not judge you... ((((big hugs)))

Jendot - glad you sound more positive now. Have a lovely holiday & when you get back - look us up on this thread again & we'll support you each step of the way. BTW I used to be a SW Consultant if that helps