Felt so fat shamed!

[DottyMcDiet]

SW 128kg
CW 91kg
TW 75kg

I went out for dinner with some colleagues last night and a couple of people commented on how ‘good’ I was being with just a salad and kept offering me things and sharing side dishes.

I politely declined and said I hadn’t lost 30kg without avoiding some things.
Ive actually lost 37kg but rounded it down.

My colleagues were obviously shocked at how much I’d lost and I felt embarrassed at how large I’d been.

One really lovely colleague said “that’s half of me” 😳

At work today my boss asked if she’d heard right that I’d lost 3 stones and I and I had to correct her.

I wish I’d kept my trap shut, I looked at a photo of me in my work uniform last May, just before I started Mounjaro, and I was enormous! I’m so ashamed.

Don’t feel ashamed - you’ve achieved something amazing and whilst maybe the comments came across as insensitive, I think they were from a good place with your colleagues, trying to recognise your accomplishments. I’ve lost 6 stone and when I look back im horrified at how I was but it makes me proud of how far I’ve come. Try to channel it positively and stay strong!

You should be proud.
It's phenomenal

Good for you

There's nothing to be ashamed of at all. You were fat. It's not a crime.

There's really no moral aspect to being fat. It's not like knifing someone or nicking money off elderly neighbours or abusing animals (sorry just the last three news stories I read). There's just nothing to be ashamed of at all. It's a morally neutral thing.

You've done bloody great!

I don't think this is fat shaming, they were just shocked at how much you've lost. I expect they never thought you looked like you weighed 30kg more than you do now. I would say they meant 'wow that's amazing you've lost so much' not 'JC you were massive'.

Though truthfully, I've never actually told anyone how much I lost - I never talk about it and am embarrassed when people mention it to me as I also feel shame that I was obese. However I know that's all my own beliefs and not how others see it.

You've done bloody amazing, you're on the home straight now!

I said something similar to someone I hadn't seen for a few years. She'd lost so much weight that I didn't recognise her. When she told me who she was, she said "I've lost eight stone" and I said "That's a whole person!". I can promise you that I was in awe of her being able to lose that much. You should be very proud of yourself. Take those comments as compliments.

I’m not sure they were fat shaming you to be honest. I get the embarassment though, I lost over 6 and a half stone and tell people 4. I am not sure why they can see me, they could see me, it’s not something we can hide, and I know if I said over six and a half everyone would be shocked. But again, I’m not sure that shock is fat shaming really.

It's funny. Ive lost 8 stone and when I've had someone not recognised me my brain is like wtf? It's me. Im the same person.. but I must look so different from 18 months ago..

Im sure they didn't mean any thing bad by it. Just its a shock to some.

Thanks All 🙏
My boss showed me an unflattering photo of herself that she keeps in her office, I think I’ll do the same of the one I saw today but only where no one else can see it!

Yeah I’d take the compliment. However I hate it when people go on about my food choices, just let me eat what I wanna eat without pressure and constant questions

@QueefQueen80s LOL. I get ya.. just let me eat my plain chicken breast and boiled egg in peace. Haha

I think it's because sometimes people see you but don't really see what YOU see. We are our worst critics. I've lost 16 kgs and very few people say anything. I had a breast reduction years ago and so many people said oh I didn't realise. I hadn't noticed . You were good at dressing to hide it. 🤷‍♀️

Exactly 🤣

Great achievement-well done.
For this exact reason I have never told anyone (except on here) how much I’ve lost as that would mean admitting how many stone I had to loose (6.5 down) and I’m not slim/normal weight yet. It shocked me to realise I needed to loose 9-10 stone to be considered normal so imagine how shocked other would be.
Even my husband assumed I was about his weight ‘just a bit more’ but in reality I am still nowhere near his weight despite 40kg off. I would need to loose another 10kg to be the same as him!
weight can be deceptive!

Don’t be ashamed, be proud of your incredible progress.

I keep a photo on my phone of me at my SW. It’s a screenshot from our security camera and I looked so fat and awful, it shocked me. It’s what spurred me on to lose weight.

Going back a few years, someone told me they had lost 8 stone, which was about a stone more than I weighed at the time. I made a similar comment to someone upthread about losing a whole person. It was definitely from a place of feeling incredibly impressed and in awe of the discipline it must have taken. Definitely wasn't any intent on my part to fat shame.

I am now about 40% heavier than I was then and could do with some of that self restraint.

It comes from a good and inspiring place so don't feel a type of way about it.

However, I felt the exact same way when I started my journey, I lost 4st and people at work asked me how much I lost. I told them, and their mouths hit the floor. I left that meeting feeling so fat because actually I wasn't even half way done losing weight. I'm quite tall and dress well, so I have also carried my weight well, and can guarentee no one would have ever guessed I tipped the scales at 23st.

I've lost 10st now and I am always saying I have lost 4st because it's not too much to make me feel like a fatso, but also enough that people buy it.

I met my friend recently and didn't notice a thing then another pal walked in saying 'omg look at you. You look amazing etc'. Apparently she lost a stone and I didn't notice, I was embarrassed in the moment. But on reflection I think its just I'm not that observant especially about bodies. My weight fluctuates all the time and I get uncomfortable when people notice ive lost weight because that means they will also notice my gains.

That’s not really logical, just as they don’t say it doesn’t mean they don’t notice it.

I heard something recently called the paper towel analogy.

When the kitchen roll is full you can hardly notice a sheet or two coming off.

When it's nearly empty, you really notice that sheet or two.

It made me understand why it can take ages to drop a size / see the difference when at a larger size compared to a smaller one.

Congratulations on your weight loss!

Well at least she didn't say 'You must have been huge!' which is what someone said to me on hearing that I'd lost 7 stone. True,but no need to come out and say it quite so bluntly!

I tell anyone who will listen that I’ve lost 7 stone. Yes, I was really fat…but so what? It’s not as if it was a secret that I was fat and it’s not insulting that people notice. I am delighted.

I would have been cross at this, though. That’s just bad manners and extremely rude.