I did my first marathon for my 60th birthday and will be doing my next for my 62nd In the mean time I do park runs every week - disclaimer I dont run - I kind of shuffle or walk ruddy fast :).
Ok when I say disordered eating , I know what I should eat, Im 95% on top of it , I know my trigger foods to avoid . I actually work as a early morning cook for a deli counter, between 6 and 10am, Im churning out breakfast baps, sausage rolls, jambons , steak slices , croissants , buns and tarts etc, and I darent sample a morsel because if I do - my day is ruined for food. My meal plan goes to pot because I have this mad head that tells me I just spent x amount of calories on a sausage roll so Ive got to claw those calories back, and my meal plan for that day is so rigid, the only way I feel I can claw it back is by missing a meal . So for example , mid week I blew a day - white bread, thick butter and a packet of crisps. Then because I blew it I skipped a meal, then late night Im hungry and the white bread and butter was in the house so back I went again. Following day I only allowed myself one meal - a turkey burger , salad, and a smaller then small McDonalds portion of air fried fries , a banana and a satsuma
If I do blow out it takes me a while to get back on track, hopefully today is that day
I rarely feel hungry during the day. Im up and out early, get home , take the dog out for 2 miles ( hes a pug, doesnt walk far or fast ) home, have a coffee, get a shower and changed, do the chores, and if Im home I will take lunch - oily fish and salad and grains usually or some sort of protein and similar - grains rather then bread and always some type of veg, be it a soup, salad or cold roasted veg. But if I have to go into town ( Im very rural ) lunch gets missed as its late afternoon before I get home then its another dog walk and its then 4pm ish and dinner time is approaching which means Ill take some fruit and greek yoghurt if Im feeling belly rumbles to keep me going till dinner. So maybe 2 days a week Im actually already doing fasting days , certainly Im intermitting fasting as its 8pm till 1pm the following day between meals most days. Dinner is normal every day fare , which I tweak adding beans and lentils to wet dishes , added veg wherever I can and sides of veg. Very little in the way of potatoes , rice or pasta - I do have them but proper portion sizes, not huge bowl fulls , and its always wholemeal pasta and plain boiled spuds or air fried roasties using sprayed olive oil
I feel like Im doing everything I can, maybe not 100% all the time , and this 10lb won't shift which is why I started thinking for the first time about WLI
It is demoralising and tiring not being able to have a normal relationship with food. Having to only walk down certain aisles in the supermarket because temptation is everywhere . I long to be able to try the pistachio Dubai chocolate for example , but I know I cant because Id not stop at one square, the bar will disappear before I noticed and then Id be wondering why my weight has crept up again and become even stricter on myself.
When I first changed my diet , I was happy that weight loss was slow and steady as it wasnt so hard. I just upped the veg, upped the protein and fibre, cooked from scratch so I had control of the sugar and fat content, and in doing that I never had room for snacks so didnt want them nor miss them. But now, 3 years along , Ive spent 18 months or more playing with the same couple of pounds, Im only one pound lighter this year then this time last year. And now it feels like I spend my life obsessing over food and weight