Feeling disappointed and angry

[BlossomGirl44]

Hi All,

Not sure if this is the right place to post but needed to get this off my chest as it’s been driving me crazy for months now. I’ve been using Mounjaro for a few months now and everything is going great, the weight is coming off and I’m finally getting back to being slim.

This obviously is very positive and I’m so happy but I can’t stop myself from thinking about special occasions where I could have been slim and comfortable within myself if I’d started using MJ earlier. In particular, my wedding day, it was an amazing day but I can hardly look at the pictures because I’m so disappointed in how I looked. I can’t help thinking about how much nicer I would have looked in my dress if I’d started MJ earlier and dropped a few more dress sizes.

How can I stop thinking like this and focus on the now?

Thank you x

I get exactly what you mean. I dont know how old you are but I'm in my 60s and yo yo dieted all my adult life. So basically loads of occasions when I wish I'd been slimmer. The way I deal with it is I've still got many occasions to look forward to. I wish this stuff had been around years ago but it wasn't so I'm making the most of it now and really enjoying being slim again. I feel really excited about my next holiday in June and knowing how different I'll look compared to the same time last year. So in essence look forward, not back.

I agree with looking forward. Is there an event coming up you can plan an outfit for? I’ve enjoyed doing that recently.

I’ve never really been slim as an adult, not for more than a few months before heading back up again. I’m excited about the future and the things I will enjoy doing now I am a healthy weight.

How long ago was your wedding?

Thank you, will try my hardest to look forward instead of back!

The wedding was just over a year ago, I’m sure in time I’ll get over it but can’t help feeling so disappointed in myself that I didn’t try harder to shed the weight. I’ve had a baby since and I think having him has given me the kick up the backside to really get healthy finally as I want to be a fit mum for him.

We all have them - I regret spending my 30s/40s obese and having hardly any pictures of me and my dc growing up as I avoided all photos. In fact I have hardly any pictures of my dc as I avoided getting the camera out at all. But the memories are there in my heart.

There are a million cliches

“Don’t look back—you’re not going that way.”
“What’s done is done.”
“Let go of the past and embrace the future.”
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.”
“The past cannot be changed, but the future is still in your hands.”
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.”
“Learn from the past, but don’t live in it.”
“Life is about moving forward, not looking back.”
“Focus on where you’re going, not where you’ve been.”
“Don’t dwell on what went wrong—look ahead to what can go right.”

And all of them are true. Pick one that suits you and repeat it to yourself when you start looking back negatively. Perhaps focus on a non-weight related (perhaps health related) goal for your future instead.

And some more cliches - Your wedding day was about love, not your size. Don't let over critically looking at yourself in the photos steal the happiness of that day - keep the memories of how you felt. You were as worthy on that day as you are now.

Cross posted.

There is a huge positive for you right there! Think of all the wonderful pictures you will have of you and your dc. 💗

I don't think focusing on the past and what you could have done or not done is helpful. Instead, have you thought what you'll do when you come off MJ to make sure you don't end up back there?

It is honestly brilliant that you will be feeling healthier and fitter for your child, and that is a fantastic win for you. I am like @WeAllHaveWings in that I am barely there in childhood photos of my two children, as I was always the picture taker and avoided being in any photos because of my size.

It would have been amazing if WLI had been around when I was in my 20s as I could have avoided decades of misery about my weight. But, now I am in control of my weight, healthier and fitter than ever, and I will make the most of opportunities now and in the future. I feel sad for the past me, but I don't dwell on it.

I also got married 2024 and started using MJ this September so I do understand OP. I was upset with my dress too and do think… I’d look better if I was the 3 sizes smaller I am now!

The way I’ve coped is that that was just a day… we have the rest of our marriage to look and feel good for. And, our spouses looked at us that day and thought we looked incredible. So they must be surprised that their wives are now even more of a smoke show 😂

These replies have made me cry (happy tears) 🥲 I will repeat the phrases shared above, I am already loving the way I look in family photos and to think positively, I’m glad I’ve started to get healthy now while my baby is young so we can have lots of lovely moments together where my weight isn’t holding me back.

It’s so sad how our weight can take over our lives so much but I’m glad we have a tool like MJ now to help us get healthier!

Haha here’s to becoming hotter wives! 😆

My husband had the biggest smile as I walked down the aisle, I know he loves me regardless of how I look, it’s just my own insecurities getting the better of me.

Looking forward to a positive and healthier 2026!

I get you OP. But you can’t go back. Try and go out more and get dressed up and get photos taken, the more you have the better you’ll feel. If it really bothers you about the wedding ones could you get your dress taken in and have a photoshoot with your husband?

I have a spa day planned in April so the aim is to feel amazing in myself for that! We have also decided to renew our vows once children are older so we can redo the day with them with us, that will give me something to look forward to!

I think I put too much pressure on myself needing to look perfect because all I see online is everyone looking slim and glamorous on their wedding day. We get so many compliments about our day and I know in reality none of our guests cared about what I looked like but my own intrusive thoughts always win! I think one of my new year resolutions is to stay off social media for a little bit and maybe start some kind of daily meditation so I can relax my mind away from thinking negatively all the time.

Yes social media is so bad for mental health and self esteem! Everyones posts are showing perfection but it’s not real, the photos are constructed. It’s pointless comparing.
I lost all my weight 7 years ago and started to feel truly happy and settled about a year after hitting target, so once I had worn lots of different outfits, been out and felt confident many times, lots of good photos and establish that this is who I am and what I look like now, with both new people and people I already knew. The questions about weight loss stopped and my true personality came out. The fat me was a distant memory. You will make lots of happy memories from now on!

Simple. Renew your vows & do it all again, slimmer!

Was mounjaro even an option then? I only heard of it about 12 months ago.

I can't castigate myself at all as I tried for 20 years to get back to normal BMI before taking mounjaro. I know I couldn't have done it any sooner.

@DeftGoldHedgehog I’ve been taking Mounjaro for 18 months. It was approved by the MHRA in Nov 2023. I started seeing threads about it on MN from around February 2024 which is when it entered my thoughts as a possibility. Took me till end of June 2024 to decide to start it myself.

I think that many of us, when we find it working well for us, think about wishing to have started sooner. But it takes time to reach your own personal tipping point, to make the mental leap and the financial leap to give it a go. So it happens when it happens, not any sooner!

I had heard of it in 2024 but didn’t know a lot of people personally who had tried it so was apprehensive, if only I had bit the bullet then and things may have been different. I’m on the journey now and so ready to have new moments with a healthier me!

I haven’t told anyone I’m using MJ so already waiting for the negative comments but will deal with that when it comes 😅

I’m sure we all feel like this at some point

forgive yourself!

you can’t change the past, but you ARE changing your future

Why don’t you do a 1st or 2nd year anniversary photo shoot and get your dress altered to fit your new size?

I was just about to post something similar. I've been struggling this past 48 hours mentally, despite my moods being generally better on Mounjaro, and I think it's because I've come on holidays to a place where I lived once upon a time when I was young and beautiful and..... overweight. It's over 30 years ago now. But I realise that back then, and during all the time since then, I've felt less than, big, out of control, greedy and like food and my weight ruled my life. What a waste. Of course I might have felt horminal, melancholy and nostalgic during this holiday anyway but I feel like the food / weight piece is very pertinent.
You are not alone!

It sounds like a lot of people have similar thoughts which makes me feel normal! I was going out of my mind thinking there was something wrong with me for thinking like this.

We’re going back to our wedding venue for our anniversary in August so it’s my aim to wear a beautiful white dress and have an amazing time with my husband and little boy.