Whether to stop

[PermanentTemporary]

I’ve been on MJ for just over a year. I’ve lost 3.5 stone or 23kg. I have another 5kg to go until I reach a healthy BMI. I’ve been obese since I was about 26, thirty years ago, so this is absolutely incredible for me. I love being this size. It’s so easy to move around. I feel healthy. I get tired but I wouldn’t say I’m more tired than normal. I eat at least 1500 calories a day and it’s good food, I enjoy it. I keep a tight watch though.

I’ve had two people say I should think about stopping now. One a work colleague and one my partner. He refers to me as ‘wraith-like’. I’m not; I can fit into some size 16s but mostly wear 18s and they’re not falling off me by any means. I do have some loose skin, I think my neck looks quite a bit scrawnier. It’s a shame but I don’t care very much, it’s better than the big puffy face I had before.

My partner is very trim, he’s not coming from a place where he’s overweight and doesn’t like me losing. But it’s true I’m thinner than I was when we met.

TL/DR
So I have two issues. Whether to stop short of my goal weight and start maintaining now, and how to handle stopping. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it because frankly I have zero confidence that I can really maintain off the drug. I can afford it though not without some effort.

Firstly - WELL DONE! Secondly Don't stop just because of what other people are saying. They're used to seeing you a certain way and it's hard for their brains to recalibrate what a healthy weight looks like on you. At 53 and 4.5 stone down I have a bit of a turkey neck now, although DH claims it looks fine to him. I'm slathering on firming cream and otherwise enjoying my new body. I'm about a stone away from a healthy BMI, so not dissimilar to you. I'm currently comfortably a 16, while 14s are a bit tight.

It's about what you want. If you're concerned about maintaining I'd say that might be an argument to keep losing a bit longer, until you've got a bit of wriggle room for when you come off. That's what my thinking is currently. I know as, ahem, a mature woman getting too skinny isn't great for bone health so I'm not aiming to be the weight I was when I was 21, but I would like to get into the top end of healthy BMI and be a comfortable 14 before I start tapering down.

I can't really help with maintenance question. I always planned to come off and wouldn't want to pay the new prices long term so I wlll taper down and hope for the best but if you can afford it, plenty of people do stay on for maintenance.

Thank you! Yes I think that would be my instinct too. I’m also realising this morning that the 18s actually do look quite loose on me now and I should try on some more 16s. It would be nice to be a true 16.

Hi @PermanentTemporary

On our thread for people with 10st or more to lose, we've all encountered friends, colleagues, and random acquaintances telling us "not to lose any more weight" - and that's when many of us are still size 18 or bigger.

We've concluded that the rest of the world needs us to be fat. Also, that the rest of the world cannot perceive us as thin, or even a bit thinner.

That's their problem.

If you're still in size 16 - 18 then you do have some more weight to lose. That's not me being insulting to you, it's just the truth.

I've gone from a size 26 all the way down to a size 10/12 (I've lost well over 8st).

Pay no attention to those who tell you to "stop now".

You are the one who decides this.

What is your BMI at the moment? Mine is 27. According to the world of BMI that makes me overweight, but I don't think I look it these days.

You need to decide for yourself and pay no attention to anyone else.

It really seems to upset some people that there are fewer fat people around.

You are a true size 16, if 18 is too loose!
🤣

That's something we all encounter. How can we possibly be such a small size? We can't believe it.

Go and get yourself some more size 16 clothes!

Very well done on your weight loss.
I would say is it worth pushing on to get into the healthy BMI weight ?
How much more would you need to loose? it would be the best thing for your overall health and I’m sure would make you feel great.
However only you can decide, it’s a very personal goal and as long as you feel good that’s all that matters, you should stop when it feels right for you.

Well done!!

I think you should do what YOU want.

If you want to get to a healthy BMI, silly comments from a colleague are completely irrelevant.

With your DP, hopefully you can have a conversation about what exactly his feelings and concerns are.

On the loose skin, scrawny neck issues, these seem to get better with time and exercise, at least they have for me and other people on these boards often say so.

If you were at BMI 20.5 and your partner and friends were worrying about you, that’d be quite different. But you’re just getting towards the healthy zone.

Fwiw I’ve felt even better getting rid of the last excess kilos to BMI 24. I thought I’d stay at 75kg, just over BMI 25, but actually I feel much better at 71-72, so I’m glad I persisted. It’s definitely weird for people around me that I’ve lost 1/3 of my body weight, and threatening for some of them, but I’m happy and healthy. I can dance! I’m very slowly reducing my dose now but will stay on a low dose indefinitely because I’d regain otherwise and I love the reduced pain and inflammation MJ gives me.

I don't get this
Is it about the injections Have they forgotten that people lost weight before?

People used to be pleased for you if you lost weight I remember being complimented not telling anyone except DH for now (started yesterday)

I sometimes feel like we, as people who were very obese, are being told that we almost are not allowed to be genuinely at a healthy weight as it seems to unnerve people somehow. I have been told by people that I surely can't be losing more weight, when my BMI was still well over 30. I am still overweight, so will still be losing more until I am in the healthy weight range with enough room to spare for future fluctuations. I don't want to be very slim, but just right in the middle of the healthy range.

I also don't really know what I will do when I am at maintenance. It's taking a long time to lose the last stone of weight, so it's still not something I need to decide now. I think I am likely to continue with whatever dose of Mounjaro I need to stay at a stable weight, whilst aiming to reduce to the lowest dose necessary. Having been very obese for a very long time, my feeling is that I need to stay at a stable healthy weight for a decent length of time in order to avoid rebound weight gain. I never want to be obese again.

Do what YOU want but bear in mind it can be a bit difficult to know when to stop and can be a little addictive!

I have not entirely stopped losing weight but slowed right down as I try to work out what kind of maintenance works for me.

My BMI is something like 26.5 so still technically overweight but I don't carry it on my face and at mid 40s am wary of going too thin in the face.

Maintenance is tricky and a different ball game really I'm in the camp of accepting I will need to take it at some level long term/forever, just trying to work out what that level is and in the meantime am still losing a little some weeks.

So basically I think slow down/experiment with maintenance slightly before you want to stop

Does your partner have a thing for larger women? Very few people would consider a 16-18 wraith like, and is usually still overweight, as you are, unless very tall. As he met you bigger, which if an 18 now, must have been at least a 20, is maybe this his sexual preference and he’s coming from that position? How does he react to slim women, say a size 10?

if it’s not a fetish/preference for larger women, then it is potentially just the change, or insecurity that other men will find you more attractive as you get slimmer, and leave him.

as for your work colleague, is it male or female. And what size are they? As no work colleague has the right to tell you when to stop losing weight, which makes me wonder if some jealousy or resentment at play.

Is "wraith like" a thing? Isn't it "waif like"?

Thank you all!

@FirstdatesFred wraith-like is a thing, it’s a Scottish word meaning ghost I think. Waif is also a thing.

The work colleague is a nurse. She was very interested in MJ and asked me about it, then consulted her GP, who she said told her not to use it on any account. Probably because she’s only got a few kilos to lose?? Anyway, taking medical advice by hearsay that wasn’t given to me isn’t how I make decisions. It unsettled me slightly though.

I think with my partner there’s an element of just wanting to reassure - making sure I understand that he doesn’t want to pressure me about my weight.

I think I will keep going - BMI 26.9. Interesting that the last few kilos made a difference @ShrankLastWinter. I’ve got 5.5 kg to go to have a BMI of 24.9. That’s still over ten pounds to lose isn’t it? I’m a broad shouldered 5’9” apple, so I may well never go below a 16 - that’s ok.

Op, 5.5kg is just over 12lbs.

Sorry op, 12lbs to lose 2 bmi points is a very small amount, are you very short?

Oops I did undercount, turns out I need to lose 6.5 kilos still.

Yeah, I’m broad and strong and nearly 5’8”, so still 14/12/M/L at BMI 24. Hardly a waif, healthy and very happy with it! Good luck with your last losses.

I should say, I did the last 5 or so kilos slowly. Thought it was a good idea to tail off gently. And also I guess my body just felt like nearly a kilo a week for 6 or 7 months had been enough, and I needed to slow down.

Well done. My inclination would not be to stop now unless you are fed up on 1,500 calories / are happy with how you look.

From a heavy perspective it’s the visceral fat that most problematic so perhaps aim for a particular waist measurement?