When people start to notice (and their strange comments!)

[threeeggsontoast]

I’m sure there’s been a thread on this before but in the last couple of days, I bought some different clothes (feeling a bit more confident) and a few comments about my weight loss so far, have been made.

On Monday a friend asked me about it and I said I felt like I was ‘getting my mojo back’ and added ‘I’ve still got a ways to go‘. She immediately looked concerned and says ‘you don’t need to lose any more weight!’ I’m 14 stone 9lbs at 5:1 so of course I need to lose more weight! At work yesterday someone else looked me up and down and said, ‘I never realised you were pretty’.

I’m relatively thick skinned but what is it about weight loss that makes some people think they can say such weird stuff? This is mostly light hearted (I just shrugged both comments off) but I find the unsolicited remarks quite weird.

I’ve still got 4 stone to lose so goodness knows what’ll happen once I lose more.

I get the concerned head tilt when I say I still have weight to lose. My FIL said 'you're not overweight anymore'. Like, dude. My BMI is 28. I am still clearly, patently, overweight. A friend got very serious and concerned when I said my target was 8.5 stone as hers is 11.5 - but she's 5'9 and I'm 5'2. Lots of 'that's unhealthy, be careful not to take it too far'. Had to get the NHS BMI calculator out to prove to her that my goal would be underweight for her but not for me.

I think most people have an image of you in their heads and significant weight loss means that, to them, you now look thin even though, on another person with a similar frame they would have no trouble identifying that person as overweight. I also think there's something fundamentally scary to many people about injecting a drug to support weight loss, which in their minds goes hand in hand with obsessive approaches to diet, hence the concern I sometimes get from well-meaning people. They've read a lot about WLIs in the media and seen Sharon Osborne etc and equate the jabs with 'going too far', not eating at all or a complete lack of effort. Those on WLIs get it and I've never had concern from anyone taking MJ when I share my perfectly reasonable weight loss goal.

@threeeggsontoast "At work yesterday someone else looked me up and down and said, ‘I never realised you were pretty’."
Wow, who would think that was an acceptable thing to say!

People can be so odd when it comes to weight loss — it’s like your progress gives them a free pass to comment, even if they wouldn’t normally. Honestly, half the time it’s just their own insecurities bubbling up. You’re right to shrug it off because you’re doing this for you, not them.
It’s great that you’re already feeling more confident and getting your mojo back. That’s the real win, no matter what anyone else says. I remember reading about how celebs handle the same thing — Lizzo, for example, has had so much attention around her body and journey. There’s even a breakdown here on her story: Lizzo lose weight.It made me realize how common those strange, backhanded comments are when you start changing and people notice.
Keep going at your own pace — 4 stone is a big goal, but you’ve already shown you can make progress. The comments might get weirder, but they’re just noise in the background.

It was very quiet for a long time, then I think I reached a tipping point and people felt comfortable commenting. One women in my running group is OBSESSED with the idea that I can now "run" I'm like love I'm running the same distances I was 20kg heavier. It's like she has constructed this whole narrative around me, and I'm finding it really annoying. But my approach has just been to grey rock because I do not want a conversation about my body.