Do you want people to comment on your weight loss or say nothing?

[Comedycook]

So I've now lost just over a stone and it's probably not really noticeable yet, but I'd like to lose another 2/2.5 stone I think. Anyway, I absolutely love it when people comment on any weight loss...gives me a boost and encourages me. I've read posts on here where posters have said that they really dislike it when people mention it though? Also posts where people wonder why no one has mentioned their weight loss?

What do you prefer?

I can't bear people commenting on it. Very personal and not their business.

I think about this a lot! Lost almost 6 stones in 18 months and some people do comment and I enjoy that but certainly don’t want a conversation about it and their opinions WLI etc. I lost a significant amount of weight 15 years ago and things around this topic have certainly changed. Attitudes to obesity are alarming sometimes. A close relative who is very slim doesn’t understand this at all and would happily discuss weight loss all day long. I love her dearly and it’s our only area of disagreement.

I'm desperate for someone to comment! 😂 I started in March at 17 stone. I'm now 14 stone 8. There are quite a few people who I think would comment if they noticed so I'm assuming 2.5 stone is a fairly small percentage weight loss and so it's not noticeable yet. I do get that not everyone likes people drawing attention to their weight so people might not know whether to remark or not.

This

I'm over 2 and a half stone down, people are starting to comment and I love it! I always reply with a cheery, 'Thanks! I'm on the jabs and they're great!' and move the conversation on.

Such a mixed bag of responses...very interesting

Given the mixed responses, I don't think people can expect compliments.

Love it. I've lost 4stone and it's cost me about £1500 so far. I've gone from obese to a healthy BMI and I look and feel so much better. It'd be weird if people didn't notice!

I just can’t think of a time where me directly commenting on the size of anyone’s body would be appropriate, so I don’t do it.

Right? How do I know if it is
cancer or other illness
bereavement
WLI
Something else they may not want remarked on?

I find this really interesting! If it’s a friend, do you think saying something like “that dress looks lovely on you” would be ok? I agree I don’t want to go into the details of weight loss but before I read this thread I always assumed saying someone looked great was a compliment!

Ooh that's tricky. I was very overweight and I've lost a lot on mounjaro although I've still got quite a way to go. Some of my friends have told me that they were holding back from saying anything until I mentioned my weight loss first and I appreciate that. It was only after they said that I realised that's what I tend to do for others. I've known a couple of people who lost a lot of weight very quickly but that was because they were very ill so it's something I try to be sensitive about.

It's not so much if people comment, it's how they comment or avoid commenting. Both can be equally rude.

I have always been very active, but have taken up doing body pump/weights in the last few months, and I have been talking about this a lot, as I'm trying to encourage others my age to do weights, as strength building is so important for bone health and maintaining muscle mass. In the context of those conversations, or people who know my lifestyle changes, it's lovely to have compliments that reflect the efforts I have made. I have had lots of comments along the lines of I am looking slim alongside qualifiers such as also looking glowing and even people saying I look strong.

What is weird is if you have shared you are trying to lose weight and look noticeably slimmer, and people pretend you don't look any different.

What is rude is when people say things like "you must feel so much better now with all that weight gone", when I wasn't THAT big to begin with and they know I was still spending about 2 months of the year on walking holidays and climbing hills and mountains!

Others have said, I look great now, but always looked healthy before anyway (which is likely true, I am an hourglass that carried weight well, and didn't have a large belly, and always had large but muscular legs with no wobble).

It's also far too intrusive to ask how much weight I have lost or what I weigh now. That's just a no no. Like you never ask what someone's salary is. They are just forbidden questions.

I appreciate a "you're looking well!" :)

I work with Filipinos, so everyone has mentioned it at work (in a lovely, interested way) - vs. meeting up with some British friends I've had since Uni and only see every couple of years, and they stayed firmly schtum! And it's 30kg, it's very noticeable

I have a co worker who is on MJ and has lost a significant amount of weight in the past 6 months. She mentioned to me that she was on the jabs and once she had done that I said ‘well I had noticed you were looking great!’ and periodically I will say to her that she looks amazing in that dress or whatever, because a) she does and b) I think it’s nice to even tangentially compliment her on her huge achievement.
If she ever mentions how much weight she has lost, I say something encouraging but would never EVER ask directly.
I have not mentioned that I am also on MJ, which I realise is cowardly but compared to her I haven’t lost that much, and I don’t want to have to talk to anyone about it, really. If I go on to lose a significant amount I will reevaluate what I tell people. At the moment, hardly anyone knows I’m even on a diet.

I have lost 5.5 stone. People (dozens of people) have either commented that I'm looking well or have I lost weight. No one has asked me how, or how much, or anything like that.

I'm 5st down (a third of my body weight) and if I don't get a nice comment, I still feel fat and invisible.

I know I look loads better but external confirmation helps. I've been overweight since 16yrs and being a normal size is a huge mental adjustment for me. I've never been a M sized clothing.

I know it's vain and I'm not getting healthier for anyone else but there is something nice about the acknowledgement of the hard work I've put in and major life changes I've made and even with WLI it has been hard work, just not impossible anymore.

I prefer people to comment as I know they are thinking it so I’d rather it was addressed, plus everyone knows I was trying to lose weight.

i don’t get the morality question someone mentioned earlier, i have never ever heard of someone complimenting weight losss by saying you’re a better funnier more interesting person now, i can’t see the linkage, simply losing weight, taking control of your health, is hard work, howver you do it, and so it is often something to be congratulated if you know the person well enough and they’d wish a comment, and for me personally, yes i look better, i did not look good fat, my face didn’t look good with my double chins and puffiness, others may look good, I didn’t, so im also good with folks complimenting that. I also do the same to others when I know they are trying, tell them well done and they look fab. If I don’t know the person well enough or know why they’ve lost weight I say nothing

I always say ‘you look great’ - but I might say that to them anyway at whatever weight if I thought they did!
I would certainly NOT say ‘you’ve lost SO much weight and look great’ - I just wouldn’t mention weight at all. If said to me I’d think ‘yea so I was an ugly cow before’.
Not saying anything if there’s been a significant loss doesn’t seem right though. So I might, not in front if anyone, say something like ‘you are doing a great job Mary. How are you feeling’? This acknowledges their efforts while hopefully not embarrassing them.

I used to like it - not sure whether it was being younger (and less times through the yoyo cycle)/ is wasn't seen as rude so much then/I never mention trying to lose weight to people (now - I did then).

I don't like it now. Especially if it is with an audience or they make a big deal of it e.g. 'you've lost LOADS of weight!' (I take that as quite rude - implication being I had LOADS to lose) or start pointing out exactly where I have lost it from and looking me up and down. Without exception I've found that the people who do that kind of show have a few toxic traits ticking along at the same time, which probably makes me associate negatively too.

I don't like comments from anyone other than DP or close friends. I hate the feeling that I'm being scrutinised by eg colleagues, and I never really know how to respond. I say thanks and try to move the conversation on, but then I sometimes get questioned about how I've done it, how much I've lost, what changes I've made etc etc etc. It all feels so personal and intrusive. Anyone 'congratulating' me feels patronising and feels like a moral judgement on weight (I realise it's well meant and obviously I'd never voice this).

I didn't get too many comments while I was losing. Now I'm at a healthy BMI though I've had comments from various colleagues about how every time they see me I've lost more weight (I haven't), and how I'm wasting away (I'm not). I have no other way of defending it other than to say 'no, I'm still the same weight as last month'. I don't go commenting on other people's bodies so it does make me feel uncomfortable.

I haven't told anybody that I'm on WLJ and I don't want to tell anybody.
I've lost just over 20kgs
I've had quite a few comments and a couple of friends asking "you're not on Ozempic, are you?" To which I answer No!
(Because I'm on Mounjaro.... and because it confirms that I was right not to tell anybody, and I don't need judgement)
I feel great and I appreciate if people say "you look great", but I feel uncomfortable if they ask more direct questions

I went straight from nobody noticing, to "you've lost too much, you look ill". Would have been nice to have some compliments!

This always confuses me slightly, of course you dint know about a loose acquaintance but surely close friendsm close work mates, family, you do know. I always know when my close friends or family are trying to lose weight, you do not have anyone who would ever discuss this with you?

Interesting answer, did you think you looked good before, I hope genuinely you did. I guess the reason I don’t react like that is I did look awful before, and when I look back at pictures I can see just how awful, rolls of fat and wearing big black clothes or shapeless stuff to Hide, a bloated face, a fat face, double chins, I didn’t think I looked good obese, so I take no offence if anyone else didn’t think I looked good, however I just think they mean I look better, and I do.