Response from friends

[NeonHalo]

I’ve been on Mounjaro for 7 months and have lost 4.5stone. My BMI has gone from 37 to 28 and I feel great.

I have gently told friends over this period and the response has been either neutral or overwhelmingly negative. Not wanting to group my friends by their size but I just happen to have two main (separate) friendship groups - one of which are predominantly slim (friends I’ve known since primary school and I’ve always been by far the biggest) and the other a more recent group of colleagues that happen to be all be plus size (of which I was very much one of them up until recently.)

My school friends won’t engage in conversations about it - at the most a neutral comment maybe - no acknowledgement of my weight loss (and believe me I’m not sitting there waiting for compliments or even talking about weight loss much - I’m no MJ bore!) but it would be nice for someone to say something? I look significantly different. I’ve always been the ‘fat’ one but I’m not anymore.

My colleague friends won’t hesitate to slag off MJ whenever they can. They know I’m on it yet the comments about the risks I’m taking, the negative impact on the body positivity movement, how can I inject myself with something I don’t know anything about etc are relentless. I commented last time that actually GLP-1s have been around nearly 20 years which was met with a “but that’s fuck all really.” Sometimes it’s dressed up in a “I’m just worried for you” way but other times I am made to feel like I’m betraying all women over a size 14. This seems to be the newest thing - that I’m glorifying being skinny (I’m far from it) which is so unfair. I’m an early 1980s baby and I know how damaging those messages are (I was exposed to them constantly in my teens.)

Have other people had better responses from friends? Would love to be able to talk about this journey with the people I am closest too but seems impossible right now.

Sounds to me like both sets are jealous.

the thin group don’t want you to become slim and be the centre of attention and the heavier group are annoyed as they don’t want to take control of their own situation.

Well done to you for taking the step and working towards making yourself happy.

i started my MJ journey last week, in fact just injected my second dose this morning. I’ve told 2 friends and 4 work colleagues. My 2 friends couldn’t be more supportive, sending me links on Facebook and instagram for side effect management or meal ideas. My 4 colleagues are either taking MJ or on Wegovy. We are all at different stages but have been really supportive.

i haven’t shared with other colleagues as one brought it up the other day and totally slated it. I’m not putting myself out there for criticism. They can see me eating healthy and aware I’m doing 3 exercise classes per week so if they notice I’ve lost weight I hope they’ll put it down to that. Mind you it’s unlikely they’ll comment….

Well most of my friends are on it too 😂 well my two best friends are, so obviously they’re ok. I’ve had the “I’ve read about the side effects and want to make sure you’re not starving yourself” comment from a friend who was well meaning, and when I said I’m taking it slowly she was fully supportive.
Ive told some colleagues and they’re all happy for me, so I would say the people you know are jealous bitches. Bugger them.
oh I just remembered I heard a “it’s cheating comment” from my ex boss who is a massive know all twat. I said I know, it’s like people who take cocaine to cheat their way to fun on a night out. I know he was a big user back in the day, and thought F U. I had some looks but he didn’t say anything after that.
You do you and well done, I’ve lost just over 3 st and feel amazing.

First of all, well done Op! You've done really well.

I do wonder why with your colleague friends there's so much discussion around WLI in general. They know what you are doing, you know what they think. Is it the same conversation being visited again and again? Nobody's mind is going to be changed!

I also wonder with your school friends if now that you aren't playing the role of 'the fat one' they aren't sure what to say or do. Some people also view obesity as being off limits conversation wise, so they might just think that it's impolite to mention it at all?

I have lost 84 lbs so far on WLI! So I definitely know where you are coming from.

Did your slim friends talk about your weight when you were larger? Because if they did and now they've stopped that might be jealousy. But if they've never mentioned it then perhaps they just don't think it's important either way?

The plus size colleagues sound envious, but perhaps they're not the right audience? Other people also on WLI are likely to be more sympathetic. Can you join an online group to talk about it?

@GreenSmithing's suggestion about joining an online group to discuss WLI is a really good one. The threads on here are very supportive 😊

Well done OP. The colleague group do sound a bit jealous and self-justifying, although perhaps they really are concerned about side-effects. Regarding the school friends who are more neutral, I wonder if I might not react that way myself. It's quite rude to comment on people's bodies, and sometimes people lose weight for negative reasons like stress or illness. So I think I'd just adopt a "I'm happy if you're happy" attitude and not bring it up or otherwise mention it unless you do.

Stop discussing it with anyone. I've told people who've actively asked me about my weight loss (apart from siblings because I do not want my dad to find out, he would be horribly judgemental) but I've not mentioned it otherwise. I wouldn't entertain anyone telling me I'm making a mistake either. It's nobody's business but mine.

It’s envy, ignore them. Well done ^OP*

It's such a polarising drug and it really does 'out' those who are rotten to the core. When you're unhappy that others are doing well (and that's what it is, no non-users really care about long term effects), it's time for a bit of inward reflection and work.

Well done OP. If I was your mate you'd be getting compliments off me.

Congratulations on the weight loss! I’m on mounjaro but so far have been a slow loser and i’ve not told anyone. Finally feeling like I’ve hit a dose that’s working now though so fingers crossed for results like yours in the long run!

IMO lots of people are quite challenged by weight loss injections because it’s treating obesity as the medical issue it is rather than a moral issue. For many thin people us fatties don’t deserve to be a healthy weight if we are not virtuous enough to do it on willpower alone (ignoring the fact that the self-discipline it takes many of us to lose weight exceeds what it takes them to stay thin). For many fat people recognising head on that obesity is a serious health problem that needs addressed challenges the beliefs that have helped them to accept being fat in a world where it’s looked down on. So we can’t really win either way with others, we just have to keep doing what we can do to be as healthy as we can.

“For many thin people us fatties don’t deserve to be a healthy weight if we are not virtuous enough to do it on willpower alone (ignoring the fact that the self-discipline it takes many of us to lose weight exceeds what it takes them to stay thin). For many fat people recognising head on that obesity is a serious health problem that needs addressed challenges the beliefs that have helped them to accept being fat in a world where it’s looked down on.”

I think @Emotionalsupporthamster hits the nail on the head with this. Some thin people enjoy the feeling of superiority - either they naturally stay slim and assume that fat people are making bad choices they should be able to easily resist or they are genuinely fighting and winning the same battle every day themselves. Either way they think WLI are cheating.

And for fat people it can bring up a lot of conflicting feelings. Maybe they would like to lose weight but they don’t want to use WLI (totally valid). And maybe they feel judgement that you’ve decided you don’t want to be like them anymore. Or they can’t afford it and it’s not a choice they could make even if they wanted to.

I’ve lost 6 stone and do look very different. I’ve told some people and had some raised eyebrows. My mum was pretty horrified. I haven’t told many friends but the ones I have have been supportive.

I actually prefer people not to mention my weight loss unless I do. I’m still the same person and when people say ‘wow you’ve lost weight you look great’ I feel like they’re voicing that they thought I looked awful before but obviously didn’t say that at the time.

Such helpful responses on here thank you. Well done to all of you that have lost too and good luck to the ones just starting.

I’ve been reflecting on what @GreenSmithing and @MujeresLibres said about my neutral friends and I think actually you’re right. Weight was always a sensitive subject for me when we were children and teens together (we’ve known each other since we were 5!) and consequently maybe it’s too “dangerous” an area for them to touch. They are incredible women and we know each other inside out so maybe my interpretation that they are being ‘unkind’ not to mention it is actually because they don’t know how to navigate it with me! We don’t talk about weight at all now (usually) so it’s unfair of me to think it will suddenly be on the table.

My colleague friends do talk about it a lot @Motnight mainly because there is some media story every week that provokes a conversation. There probably is envy there and I felt the same when one of them lost 7 stone a few years ago (she’s since put it back on) but that didn’t stop me congratulating her/being positive but it does make me sympathise as it’s hard seeing someone achieve what a lot of us so desperately want. The constant digs though are hard and insensitive and I might suggest they take those conversations elsewhere next time as it’s not something I can get on board with. I think the irresponsible comments grate most as I researched MJ for months before starting (and I am a clinician with the NHS so know what I’m looking for!)

I think joining a social group on here is much more sensible.

You’re spot on @Emotionalsupporthamster about the disease vs morality issue here and weight. That is what underpins so many of the conversations in the media/online/friendship groups. I think I need to distance myself from real life chats about all this and find safe spaces (like this forum) to lurk instead. I guess I just want to shout it from the rooftops that I feel free from the cage of food noise, inflammation and weight for the first time in my life and I want everyone to be joyful with me!

thanks everyone 🙂

My husband has lost 2 stone on Mounjaro. He was asked to repeat some blood tests from when he had gout some time ago as there was some concern about liver results. He had also been told in the past that his blood sugars were raised.

He just got his new blood results last week and his blood sugar is excellent and his liver results all normal.

I just think it might be worth pointing out to your friends (if they bring up side effects) that Mounjaro has lots of positive effects on health too.

I wonder in your larger group of friends if they do all feel similarly negative about weight loss injections or if there is actually a negative ring leader? There might be other people who would actually want to try the jab themselves but daren’t voice that. I think a good approach is to say that each person has to make their own decision balancing any risks of the jab with the risks of being overweight and remind them that nobody is forced to take it so if it’s not right for them then that’s fine.

Actually there definitely is a ring leader in all this so you may be right that not everyone feels so strongly. I think highlighting the positives is important but equally feel at a point now that I just don’t want to engage with them on this topic. They are entitled to their viewpoint but it’s actually quite insensitive to say it in front of me. It’s made me angry thinking about it today as if it was a drug for any other health condition they simply wouldn’t be speaking in this way.

I've posted about similar... i chose to only tell my partner as my mother already has huge issues with my size, many friends are either judgemental about it ("cheating" or "dangerous"). Loads of people in work are openly on the jabs, so nobody in work judges, but i can't tell one part of my life and expect it to stay quiet, so I'm staying quiet.

Weirdly nobody has noticed my weight loss yet as I've been a slower loser (almost 2 stone in 5ish months) which meant i haven't had to fend off questions.

I wish it wasn't such a triggering conversation for so many! Its changed my life being on the jab, with weight loss only being one aspect of it. And I'm so glad I decided to use it.