Now that food isn’t a priority…

[fansflyinghigh]

Bit of a deep question but since I started WLI, I’ve been feeling this sense of boredom, almost ‘loneliness’ at the ‘loss of food’. I don’t know if that even makes sense?!

It’s making me realise how much food has filled a gap I didn’t know I even had. Food, the joy of cooking and socialising around food was a much bigger priority in my life than I realised and now, because I’ve lost my interest in cooking and eating, I’m almost twiddling my thumbs. Obviously, if I want to reset my relationship with food, I need to tackle this and probably talk to someone as well, but just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same?

I think a lot of people can relate who have weight issues. But I guess it’s the food you’re eating and the portions that caused this problem to begin with. You can still enjoying cooking and socialise around food without having this issues, slim people do it. I guess it’ll take time to retrain your thought process. How far into your journey are you?

Is this because you are on a higher dose with high suppression? Can you lower your dose if so?

I still enjoy socialising around food, and I still enjoy cooking. I enjoy finding ways to up my protein and have lunches that are around 200-300 calories and dinners that are around 400-600 calories, and I have a new Malaysian cookbook, and pulse cookbooks etc. I went for afternoon tea yesterday, and often eat out socially, I just choose restaurants with suitable options. Wagamamas is great!

I also find stuff to occupy myself. I exercise a lot more, which has the added bonus of toning me up and building muscle. I have also started building miniature dolls house kits/book nooks. Keeps my hands busy and very relaxing. This lovely weather helps as well, because I just live outside, in my garden, away camping, walking early before it's hot, or easy to swim in the outdoor pool most days. All that definitely fells the gap. You won't necessarily enjoy what I do, but find new things that give you that joy and buzz

Yes, I think it’s the portions and the type of food I was eating. I had a mentality of feast or famine so I’d practice ‘famine’ during the week and then weekends were for ‘feasting’ - lovely Friday trip to a ‘posh supermarket’ to ‘treat myself’ for being ‘good’ all week, nice wine, friends over for a takeaway etc. Food was the centre of it all and obviously over time has led to me gaining 4 stone and becoming very unhappy with my body.

I’m still early into the journey (W8) and on 5mg but my interest in all of that has gone. I know of course that it’ll be there just below the surface when I attempt to titrate down so I’m trying to learn strategies now. I think exercise might be part of the solution too so I’ve just bought an exercise bike (something I’ve enjoyed in the past). I need to learn how to reprogramme my mind, I guess and learn how to enjoy nice food but not to excess. That’s the challenge.

@PurpleCooI like those ideas. I’ve just bought an exercise bike as I think I’ll enjoy that and when I do have some down time, trying to read more. My life is really busy but my leisure time has always centred around over indulgence of food. It’s been quite the wake up call - until it was removed as an option, I hadn’t realised how big a focus it had become.

I think your story is quite common, so a lot of people can understand and give you support.

Week 8 is very early on, your body will still be getting use to it. So I wouldn’t worry too much. Exercise will also definitely help too. It’s a slow journey to try and change a life time of bad habits, so take it easy on yourself. But once you figure it out you’ll feel a lot more freedom.

Yes it makes sense to me - week 26 here and I understand exactly what you mean. I've never been a huge fan of cooking - it was more baking for me - but I've always loved eating and it's so weird now that has gone.

I've definitely replaced it with hand weights exercising, watching my body as it loses weight and my muscles appearing that I never knew I had!

I enjoy eating out more now and have got braver at leaving food when I'm full, rather than not ordering what I want - and I like ordering 2 x starters or random combinations of things rather than a set meal-type thing.

You'll find your groove and hopefully really enjoy what you do cook and eat - and I can highly recommend getting handweights and start to see those muscles appear and your body change shape!

I’ve found a new interest in painting my nails and wearing nice makeup. I’m quite enjoying it. It makes a change from obsessing over food

i think your experience is really interesting and quite common. I listened to a podcast Johan Hari, talking about his experiences on WLI and her talked about having used food as a comfort / mood buster in the post. Like he’d have a tough day at work or whatever, and usually he’d go and get a bucket of KFC to cheer himself up. But when he tried that on WLI, he took a few bites and couldn’t eat any more - but he still needed comfort of some sort, and doesn’t know where to turn.

it’s a big psychological shift for comfort vs/ emotional eaters.

That’s actually quite reassuring. I wondered if it was just me! Today is a prime example - it’s been raining heavily all morning and in the past that would have been a trigger for a ‘cozy day in’ which inevitably would mean cooking a big roast, maybe some prosecco later on and a nice movie. I mean, it’s nuts if you think about it! But over the years, that’s how I’ve allowed my brain to become wired.

So yes we can still have a cozy day in but if I remove the big roast option and all the joy of cooking, tasting, serving it up, it now just feels really boring. I don’t even WANT the food but my brain is missing it. I’m hoping that in time I can learn new ways of being. I’m definitely going to start with exercise.

Definitely not just you. It’s more common than you think. You’re recognising your triggers which is great. Remember you’re only 8 weeks into this, like any journey you’re still learning. Good luck op I’m sure you’ve got this. Give us an update in a few months with how you’ve got on.

I totally get this. I am 6 months in now and it’s making me really look at myself. I have a busy job (50-60 hour week) which is quite stressful and I realised how much I would pick/eat carbs to get me though. We eat out quite a bit as a family - nothing fancy at all but we’ll
pop into Nando’s or Wagamama or grab a coffee and a cake after a walk. that’s lost its shine for me.

it has bought me to the realisation that I need to actually find some hobbies actually. It’s an area I’ve always struggled with - life has been work/kids/chill with a ‘treat’ for so long but kids are 16 now and I need to find other things to bring me enjoyment. I’m
not a creative/crafty person in any way but maybe a yoga class/book club or something. It’s quite daunting.

An interesting question OP.

I’m pretty OK during day, but evening time there’s a bit of a “hmm, what’s enjoyable to eat now?”. And of course there’s a fair bit of planning generally. Whereas a less interested person will expend much less time on that kind of thing and is more likely to shrug and see what’s available.

No answers, but considering interesting responses above…..

I understand and although I still enjoy eating out socially, I did feel like I suddenly had a lot of time to fill where I’m no longer thinking about food, planning my next meal or snacking constantly. I’ve taken up exercise which has helped massively. I go for a run 3 days a week, swim at the weekend and go to a yoga class once a week which I really enjoy and has given me the dopamine hit that I was missing.

I’ve also taken up meditation, which I know isn't for everyone, but I find it helps me deal with the daily stresses and is a much healthier coping mechanism than giant bars of chocolate which is what I used to use!

Excellent question, I agree. I did worry before I started, as food has always been such a big part of my life - in both normal and more problematic ways. I have always enjoyed planning and shopping for meals, the prepping, the cooking, feeding others, all of it.

I am glad to say I still get joy out of these things. Choices might be slightly different, and especially portions, that’s all. It didn’t take too long to adjust to that.

I do miss the dopamine hits of food though - that’s definitely a thing. I haven’t found exercise replaces it sufficiently for me, especially now that cold water swimming isn’t as cold! That did it for me. Hoping that this improves.

I pay a lot more attention to my body now- supplements, moisturising, lovely clothes (gone a bit mad here, it’s the dopamine hits of new things), just enjoying my physicality rather than pretending it doesn’t exist.

Its all a big adjustment - be kind to yourself and allow it to unfold to suit you.

(waves to the lovely and v wise @PurpleCoo )

Absolutely @fansflyinghigh Im 3 months in, 23 pound down and I actually cried last week that I miss food. We had got a takeaway that had been planned all week and I was looking forward to it all week and when it came I didn't want it an cried. Treat food used to be a reward, a comfort, a treat whereas now mj is literally changing my brain I just seen it as ingredients and fuel.

For the dopamine hit im missing the dopamine hit of food but finding the gym or swimming a good source of dopamine. Also using having a lovely long bath as a treat and reward rather than food.

It's a learning curve though!

I had no interest in food for the first weeks, but now I feel more normal - still enjoy cooking and planning and eating with friends, just in much smaller quantities. So your feelings may also change.

to fill the time in the evening when you normally would have been eating or snacking, some kind of a hobby like crotchet? Puzzles? Just to keep you busy.

Otherwise exercise, make a plan to try a new and different youtube video every day, to see what you like.

Well, I’ve just been out to buy some nice plants and when I get home, going to move the furniture and drag out the carpet cleaner. I think I realised I have to be proactive in filling the gaps that food has left, rather than just leave the space empty (if that makes sense). I’m a bit of a weirdo and will definitely get a dopamine hit from cleaning carpets. 😂

But also I’m listening to Miranda Hart’s audio book biography. She talks a lot about learning to live comfortably with uncomfortable feelings. This is an uncomfortable feeling and it’s good to not immediately rush away from that but examine why it’s there. This is giving me something to think about.

I completely empathise OP, I’ve had the same problem.

My issue is that DH likes an evening meal, and while he is getting much better at actually taking charge of 50% of the week’s cooking, I still feel completely indifferent about my 50% . I would rather pick at some food, have hummus and carrots or a chicken salad or similar and I now largely resent having to make a proper dinner for both of us which I will barely touch.

I do it, because I love him and I want him to be happy, but the pre- MJ me would have really enjoyed planning the meals and cooking them, whereas now it seems like a waste of time as I’m so uninterested in food a lot of the time.

What I find the trigger for me is if I’m home alone. So if DH is out, I sometimes plan something guilty like cheesy chips. I made some the other day- old me would have polished them off without blinking. And then probably has some crisps. New me had a few bites, felt queasy and binned the rest.

So mentally I am craving the dopamine hit, but when it comes to the crunch I don’t actually want it. Like a PP I have replaced some of my food pleasure seeking with things like fake tan, moisturising, better skincare and hair care - especially as I now look better than I used to in lots of ways.

Op you are not alone!

Yes, you need to proactively fill the gaps 😊 it does get easier.

And, you don't necessarily need to lose your enjoyment of food all together, I love socialising now and choosing something off a menu that I want to try and not worrying about wether I will be full up.

@HoratioBumAhhh, cheesy chips! I had a similiar experience recently too. I LOVE a good bowl of cool nacho chips and sour cream and I was really looking forward to some. I filled up the bowl with my non-MJ head on, ate about 5 and then was gutted that I couldn’t really eat any more. It’s such a weird feeling to want something but not want something all at the same time.

@fansflyinghigh Yes!!! I’ve done the same with Nachos and sour cream - I think it’s the fattiness of the cream/ cheese that is the offputting bit these days. My head wants it but my stomach not so much. Although I can plough through more nachos is I have salsa instead- the tartness of tomatoes is much more palatable.

My current obsession is Greek yoghurt with dark sweet cherries ( bags of frozen from Aldi- defrosted a bag keeps in the fridge for about a week and produces lots of lovely juice as well) and some milk chocolate chips. I saw someone on insta calling it a ‘Cherry Garcia parfait’ and omg it’s delicious.

All your comments have really helped me today, thank you.

The idea of proactively filling the gaps has been really helpful. I’ve been out and bought a walking mat/mini treadmill and have quite enjoyed having a walk while watching the TV (everyone thinks I’m mad - don’t care! 😂)

I was a sticky mess at the end but was thinking how much better that feels that the ‘food coma’ after a big Sunday roast. I’m glad I chose the treadmill.

My trigger times are Friday nights and Sunday afternoons so I think I need to plan ahead as to how to fill those ‘food spaces’.

@fansflyinghigh I have enjoyed reading this thread and your comments. You seem really reflective and self aware, and it's lovely to see you notice your trigger times and plan how to manage these, and that you have been so proactive and gone straight out to get some things to try.

Waves back @SpiralSister another lovely, wise and insightful lady

Ah, what a nice thing to say, thank you.

I’m quite enjoying the new treadmill. I’m one of those people who can’t just watch TV, I have to do something else at the same time. Old me would watch TV and eat - now I’m watching TV and going for a walk on the treadmill.