What’s your ‘happy weight’?

[threeeggsontoast]

I was thinking about this last night! I’m just starting out on my MJ journey and am currently 15:10 which at 5ft 1 is pretty bad.

When I’ve lost weight before (over 7 years ago now), I was happy with my weight at 11 stone. I was comfortably in a size 12 and I felt slim but with still a bit of curve. According to BMI, that has me on the edges of being overweight but as long as I feel healthy and comfortable in my own skin, I’m not overly concerned about BMI. I did once get to 10.7 and I had people tell me I looked gaunt. It was also very hard to stay there. I had to stick to around 1100 calories and I was miserable. For some reason (goodness knows why) at 11 stone, I could tolerate more calories and stay at that weight.

Do you have a ‘happy weight’ you’re aiming for, whether it’s BMI related or just getting into a certain size again? Everyone’s different so I’m just curious to see how others approach this.

I’m 5 ft 3 and a bit and weigh 9 and a half stone. This makes me a small size 10 and I feel perfectly fine at this weight. I started at 15 stone

I do sometimes consider pushing it to 9 stone but I’ve maintained this weight for 6 months now and don’t feel fat or anything so I’ll probably continue as I am for now at least

@SomethingFun I’m usually heavier than I “look” (i.e. I tend to wear a smaller size than similar height/weight friends). Not sure what but of me is heavier than other people!

I’m 5’2 and started MJ at 16st 12. The lowest I had ever weighed (that I can remember anyway!) was 11st about 25 years ago. I thought I was pretty comfortable then but I have to say I am much more happy in my skin considerably lower than that! I am now 8st 10, love how I look in clothes and how light and free I feel to move!

I might have been comfortable at 11 stone before but I’m pretty sure it’s only because I didn’t believe I could get any smaller. I actually appear to have a rather small frame buried under what I have been carrying around for years. Who knew? 🤷‍♀️

It's been so long I have no idea what my "happy weight" will be now in my mid 50s. Currently happy I am "only" overweight BMI 29.5 instead of morbidly obese BMI 44.8 and I can comfortably fit into size 16 jeans for the first time in 20+ years and getting used to that.

As others, I’ve been fat so long I simply don’t know. Started at 15 stone at 5ft 2. Now 12 stone and feel heaps better but still feel fat. I can remember feeling good at a little over 10 stone in my 20s so set that as my initial goal, but I’ve moved it down to 9 stone because at 10 I’ll still be overweight on BMI. Can’t imagine myself at that weight so may readjust as I get smaller. Feeling good and looking good are more important to me than BMI, but I’d dearly love not to be overweight anymore!

I’m 5’2. I started MJ at 13 stone. Currently 10 stone 5. I used to sit around 10”2 and be curvy. I’m aiming for 9 1/2 stone I think to get rid of my mum tummy

I feel good at 5.7ft and 11 stone (very heavy bones, my knee caps are twice the size my partner’s!). I got there through diet only though I’ve always exercised regularly always been fit. I followed Zoe and have stayed at my happy weight since December 2024. So far, so good!!! May I persevere!! 🙏

I'm 5'7. I look best between 10.7-11.

I’m 9 stone exactly at 5ft 4 and I am happy with that. Definitely not gaunt or skinny, but slim and clothes look nice on my body, I have nice collarbones, facial definition, etc

9-9.5 stone is where my weight has settled at various times in life, before I gained weight in the last decade or so, so I think my body does ‘like’ being that weight once it gets there. I hope anyway! We shall see.

5 ft 10 and mine is around 9 stone 4 or 5. Currently 10 stone and unhappy - not really enjoying the sun as much as I should be becasue of my bingo wings and chunky legs.

Don't qualify for injections despite always having struggled with food noise. It's quote a battle at times to stay slim.

I keep asking myself this question and I really don't know!

When I was a teenager, I wasn't aware of BMI and I devoured Jilly Cooper novels. I vividly remember in The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous there is a character described as utterly grotesquely overweight and completely hideous at 11 stone. She loses weight and gets down to 8st 11 and is still considered pretty chubby but acceptable enough to find love (I still love Jilly, but it WAS a tad problematic looking back!). Then there was Bridget Jones who thought herself far too fat at 9 stone. It was the era of heroin chic and the superwaif, low rise jeans and bare flat midriffs. My hourglass figure seemed badly wrong to me and I thought being over ten stone was the most appalling thing ever - but I was. I think all I really registered was that 9 stone plus was just unacceptable for a woman and never took into account variables like height and build and shape. I just thought I was monstrous, full stop.

As an adult and more aware, I realised I was never, ever getting down to 9 stone! I look back on photos of myself at my lowest adult weight of 10st 3 and I recoil. I looked dreadful - my face was so long and gaunt looking. It didn't suit me at all.

I was around 12.5 stone on my wedding day and felt great then and on honeymoon - I thought I was shapely and glowing and healthy looking. I was well into the overweight category though - a BMI of 28. I was in my 20s.

In my 40s, slimming down on MJ from my highest weight of 18 st 1lb, currently 13 st 6lbs, my shape is different and apparently I am one inch shorter?! But I'm also better muscled from two years of weight training. It makes it impossible for me to know what my goal weight or happy weight would be now. I just know I feel so much better nearly five stone down and I'm keeping going. But I don't think a BMI of 25 or below is ever going to be where I feel happiest and look the best. I'd like to keep below 30 though.

Losing with MJ has made me realise how distorted my idea of looking ‘healthy’ was. I’m 5”7 and started at 16 stone. I thought 12 would be great. And when I hit it I felt great. But I kept going to 11 stone and felt great, and realised I hadn’t looked healthy at 12.

Now I’m still losing and I think 10stone is a good weight for me but a lot of that is muscle thanks to strength training.

so your perspective definitely shifts and think, honestly, it’s unlikely that a weight which gives you a bmi of 29 is the ‘right’ weight for you. It’s probably just the one that means you still get to eat what you want and not try too hard, as that’s so tempting.

I'm currently 18 stone and 5 ft 4, I felt happy and comfortable at 14 stone which I was once, but it crept back on again.

so your perspective definitely shifts and think, honestly, it’s unlikely that a weight which gives you a bmi of 29 is the ‘right’ weight for you. It’s probably just the one that means you still get to eat what you want and not try too hard, as that’s so tempting.

Or perhaps everyone is different..! It's also obviously not the case that a BMI of 29 is where I could eat what I wanted and not try hard, or that's the weight I would have stayed at instead of getting to a BMI of 40! We're all free to set our own targets and to be happy with any weight we choose to feel comfortable with. What constitutes the 'right' weight for anyone is going to vary, and it's extremely arbitrary for you to decide a particular number is a lazy goal for someone and assume it's because they just can't be bothered to go any lower. It's certainly true our perceptions of our bodies change as we lose weight, but your experience is not the same as everyone else's.

I'm currently 16st 8lbs and I'm 5ft 8"tall. I was always around 10st when I was in my 20s, I'm 57 now and I'd love to get to just under 13st. I haven't started MJ yet, I'm on the verge of getting some. Can I ask what might be a stupid question, how does it work, does it take your appetite away?

At just 5 ft my happy weight is around 7 to 7 stone 4lbs. I like to be lean. I have been up to around 10 stone and that looked very large on me but I think a lot is down to body type - as an apple I feel it shows more on me.

I meant on the edge of overweight tipping into obese.

I actually agree with this. I think for the vast majority of normal people (not athletes, weightlifters, just normal people doing a normal amount of activity), BMI is a good enough indicator of a healthy weight range for you, and I do think people like to believe the ‘Oh I couldn’t be that weight as I’d look gaunt!’ narrative because, well, it makes life easier doesn’t it? I was guilty of it myself, but when I actually reached the weight in my head that I had been so sure I wouldn’t go under as it wouldn’t be right for my body, I realised that my perception of what I looked like had been a bit warped by being so overweight in the first place (34 BMI). Yes 29 BMI looked better than nearly 35 did, but my 22 BMI now looks and feels a heck of a lot better than that 29 did.

If you are coming from 40+ BMI then I can totally understand that being 30 BMI might actually feel like a ‘good’ weight to be, but generally I think that if you have the support of WLIs and the desire to be healthy then you should aim for as close to a normal BMI as you can, doesn’t have to be exact, but I think settling for being borderline obese does yourself a disservice.

It's a magic potion that rebalances your brain hormones. Stops unhealthy cravings, I actively choose nutritious foods. It does reduce appetite, even during a meal. I can't eat a big meal anymore.

57 years old, 5'6", just started WLI with a BMI of 28.5 now down to 24. That's 77.5kg to 67.5kg. Sounds ok-ish on the face of it. It's not.
As an Apple shape, my waist was 40.5 inches and is now still 35.5.
It will be waist to height ratio that guides me not weight. That and body fat percentage.

I'm coming from a BMI of 40 this time @doodleschnoodle but I have been a range of BMIs in my life and I do know where I looked and felt best and for me it actually wasn't when I was a BMI of 24. I have plenty of photos I can compare between then and a BMI of 28 and I know I prefer the latter. I also know at which point I felt better, had more energy and was doing more exercise and again it was the latter in every respect. I wouldn't tell other people what their goal weight should be. I have yo-yoed through my life and I wouldn't choose to be at either extreme of my personal weight spectrum again. I'm looking for a peaceful equilibrium and for me, that will be higher than for you. There's really no need to judge others on these WLI threads; I usually find them such a good space for compassion and empathy. I thought this was an interesting discussion about how people have different goals and what those goals look like when MJ makes them feel achievable and how that changes our individual perspectives - but if it's descending into something more judgemental and prescriptive then I'll hide it now. It's totally up to you to prefer a BMI of 22 and to feel that for you personally to go higher would be a disservice to yourself but absolutely not for you to tell others that applies to them.

Gosh, I'd imagine your very slender at thar height and weight. I would be and I'm 4 inches shorter than you with a curvy figure.

@WeepingInASunlitRoom No judgement intended but this is an opinion forum and I’ve shared my opinion. If you don’t feel it applies to you then you can just read on past. But support doesn’t have to always be agreeing with whatever someone says just because it’s about weight loss. Some of the stuff that’s helped me most on my weight loss journey is stuff that has challenged my thoughts and beliefs and forced me to examine my perceptions of weight and health more critically. Cheerleading is nice, but it’s not everything.

I’m not on WLI’s but I have lost 2 st 5lb and I’m the lightest I’ve been for years at 10st 10lb. My original goal was 10st 12, I’m now aiming for 10st 7 at 5ft 6inches.

I’m a healthy bmi now and I am working out so my shape is changing but I do think I could manage a few more pounds and then I’ll feel I have a 7lb window for fluctuations.

I’m 50 and it definitely won’t suit me to lose much more, I will show it too much in my face.

Back in my youth I did get down to below 9 stone but it wasn’t healthy, the wheels fell off and all the weight went back on and more!

Not looking for cheerleading @doodleschnoodle but as far as not intending judgement - the final paragraph of your earlier post is nothing but judgement. I've had thirty plus years of dieting experience in which to critically examine my perceptions of weight and health and I have come out at a different place to you. I was absolutely interested in reading a range of experiences and people's opinions of their own journey; it's why I clicked on the thread. I'm not at all interested in you or anyone else asserting why other people's goals are wrong and should be more in line with yours. I will hide the thread as I am not interested in a discussion of what weight people 'should' aim for; I was only interested in reading about how people are deciding their own goals for themselves.