Accepting a heavier goal weight

[ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop]

I'm 5'5" and I always had 9st 7lb in my mind as a goal weight. It's in the middle of the healthy range for my height, I was that weight for several years when I was in my 20s and didn't have problems maintaining it at the time, it put me as a size 10 in most shops. But this time around, I've got to 10st and got stuck.

Now, I realise it's still within the healthy range, but it's nearer the upper end. I don't like the way my body looks, as I'm a classic pear shape and my legs are still too big for wearing shorts or short skirts. I'm sort of between sizes but am a 12 in most shops, maybe a 10 on top.

The thing is, I'm in my mid-40s now and in the middle of the menopause, so maybe this is just a realistic weight for me at this life stage? Should I just accept it and work on reconciling myself with my body as it is now? Has anyone else not been able to hit their initial goal and adjusted it upwards a bit?

If you keep in a calorie deficit, you will keep losing. It is however extremely difficult isn't it and different to what it was in your twenties. I've set out on this weight loss mission to get to about the same goal as you at the same height, I'm 10 years older, and even with the mounjaro it's been hard . I'm 10 stone 9 at the minute so another stone or so to go, but I've admitted to my self that to even maintain it will be very little calories and basically no fun, I intermittent fast and don't drink at all. I think you have to weigh up ( ha ha) what's most important to you being thin or eating, even normal eating, on holiday for instance, it's more noticeable that I don't eat breakfast ,only eat fruit for lunch and don't drink and the constant pressure to just have one why aren't you eating? is tiresome. I'm going to try for 9 7 but realistically think it might be around 10., and toning might help with the aesthetics of things, I don't think in middle age we can just lose weight and leave it at that there's got to be some toning involved if we want to change the shape of things, and yes it's the stark realisation of not being young anymore, our bodies are fundamentally different. Here's to losing what we have done already and accepting we might look a bit different to what we did when we were younger 🥂

I hear you!!

I don’t have a ‘previous size/weight’ to aim for as have been overweight/obese since puberty really but I would love to be 8st ANYTHING!! My head is currently trying to play catch up with my body re my weight loss and I can still see belly/thigh fat I am not entirely happy about!

I am 3 lbs from my target of 8st 12 and actually wondering if I should just stop. Been away this weekend and different mirrors made me look really rather slim! Other days, I wonder if I should move my goal weight down and aim for 8 1/2 stone to give myself a half stone buffer zone. Weight loss has slowed right down now so that probably isn’t a great idea.

At 5’2 I am currently 9lbs into healthy with a bmi of 23.2. I’m 58 and wondering if this is where my body wants to be. Is it ‘safe’ though? I’m worried I’m one good holiday away from overweight! Also, what if my plan to put on some more muscle actually works??

@ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop I’m the same height as you and similarly was always around 9st 7 in my 20s. I’ve been on MJ for a year now (hard to believe!) and got down to 11st but it’s not budging any further. I’m 54 and perimenopausal so thinking I might be better a little heavier as I don’t want to look too gaunt but would just love to be back in the 10st bracket at least. Will keep trying and if I get any more it will be a bonus. I’m 47lb down

I started at 15st, so in a way, 10st is a nice 'neat' result, as it's exactly a 33% loss. But I think I'm so hung up on my legs not looking slim because my mum used to go on about other women's legs a lot when I was a teenager, i.e., "look at her in those shorts, she shouldn't be wearing them with legs like that". I've internalised those sorts of messages a lot, even though I really don't agree with her that only ultra slim women should allowed to get their legs out! The thing is, all the dieting in the world doesn't change your basic body shape, and I will never not be pear-shaped. So maybe I just have to find a way to live with it (and wear the damn shorts anyway...)

I can assure you your legs are not to "too big" to wear shorts and short skirts!

My hunch is that yes goal weight/natural healthy weight does probably shift upwards slightly as you get older.

I'm coming at it from a different angle and having been BMI 35 for a long time I will be delighted to maintain about 26/27. I don't want to lose my identity as a curvier person and think it will age me if I lose too much off my face.

@ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop wear the shorts!

Shorts aren't a privilege for the slim.

I'm a size 20 and am on mounjaro and wear shorts if I want.