Nosy and judgmental neighbour

[Swalwey]

Please come and tell me to give my head a wobble 😂

I was having a chat with my neighbour (let’s call him Aaron) outside our houses. We’re good friends; he knows I’m on Mounjaro. I haven’t kept it secret, and everyone around me has been supportive. So far…

My other neighbour (Gladys) comes out of her house. I’m not friends with Gladys. She immediately asks if I’ve lost weight (it’s pretty obvious, I’ve lost over 100lbs so it’s not like I can deny it). Yes, I say. “How?”, she asks. I hesitated for a second, then said WLDs (partly because Aaron already knows). She immediately pulled a face, then asked if I’ve come off them, why not, how it’s unhealthy, bla bla bla. I said my deficiency in GLP-1 hormone is a chronic condition, and I expect will require life long management. Gladys says it’s wrong, I must stop taking them, it’s untested for long term use, it’s dangerous. I tell her that’s not true. “Well, she says, I’m 77 and I don’t take any medication, not even statins”. So I replied “good for you” and went back inside my house.

I don’t know why this is bothering me - I don’t care about her judgment, I don’t want her approval, she clearly doesn’t have any manners and she is ill informed. But I’m still feeling pissed off, like I was publicly scolded. WTF is wrong with some people? I didn’t ask for her advice.

She also doesn’t know that Aaron and I are friends, and that he already knew - so it could have been outing.

I feel like whatsapping Gladys and telling her that, for future reference, it’s rude to comment on someone’s weight, especially in front of other people, and ruder still to offer unrequited medical advice, especially on something she knows nothing about. But really what would that achieve? absolutely nothing. I need to let it go. Hence why I’m ranting here instead ☺️

Thank you for letting me vent.

Gladys is a dick. She’s also incredibly ignorant

I get this a lot in relation to HRT. It’s very irritating but just ignore. Don’t feed the beast.

Hope you feel better after venting.

Clearly she has no social skills and/or EQ. Maybe try not to get drawn in by her in future then she loses the power to wind you up.

I’ve also been taking WLI but I’ve hardly told anyone as I don’t think it’s anyone’s business except mine and my provider’s. When people have commented on my weight and asked how I’ve lost it I just reply “starvation” and roll my eyes.

She’s a complete arse. Anyone who think not being on any medicines some how makes her more worth listening too isn’t worth bothering with. Well done on your amazing weight loss 😊

Older people can be opinionated like that sometimes - whether it is medication, alcohol, various diets, technology, fashion etc. - especially things they do not understand or have the capability (or perhaps inclination) to research themselves. You've done your research, you know what you are doing, no need to try to educate someone senior.

I would probably find it funny from someone in her age group rather than take it to heart and find it offensive.

Drop the rope. She can’t go on about if you just say ‘Oh.’.

Don’t engage in that subject, say ‘oh, ok’ and then ask her a q, or return to your first conversation.

@WeAllHaveWings is completely right, you never hear a younger person talking opinionated crap about something they know nothing about 🙄

Maybe you’ve been lucky. I’ve heard plenty of young people putting the world to rights because at age 18-19 they know EVERYTHING! And then some.😂

Of course you do @TurnItOffPlease , but most people would be able to differentiate between and would deal with someone young and someone quite senior who is being opinionated very differently.

I know, I was being sarcastic 😊

She did publicly scold you, which was crappy of her and clearly totally wrong and judgemental to boot. I'd agree with just dropping the rope. don't message her, just move on. She's wrong, you know she's wrong, you don't have to listen to or take seriously someone who is ignorant of the facts of the situation.

She doesn't matter at all. There's a reason she's not your friend.

I'm not on these meds. I'm underweight and CFs will just tell you how underweight you are when you're very sick like I am. So people can basically be pricks to anyone they think is a good target.

Your post made me think it's a good idea to prepare a response to shut down any discussion about your injections. I realise from these threads how bloody bitter people are. They don't really give a shit about your likelihood of side effects and that faux concern is not genuine.

I don't know why people criticise but I think it's because overweight people might signal to another person ' insecurity '. That then also signals to potentially abusive, actually insecure people ' Ah, maybe I can put this person down to feel better about myself '.

When you suddenly and rapidly take charge and control and are outwardly to them not ' insecure ' as you lose weight, those people with a tendency to bully will hate it and go further on the attack. Even if they're a total stranger. Then comes attempts to belittle and undermine you - just because they need a target in their life.

I wouldn't put blind faith in Aaron either. Be careful what you share. With the weight loss meds, absolutely your choice to share but I always believe some boundaries with neighbours are essential.

Having a really good reply ready for any future CF is going to make you feel completely in control. Even practice in the mirror. So Gladys the bag, next time I would honestly cut her off in the middle of her sentence, whatever she says and go ' oh sorry Gladys, I can hear my phone ringing. Have to take that now. Bye' and literally walk off. She will get the intent there very fast I guarantee.

Then you walk into your house with your head held high and enjoy this new phase of life.

Well she's just outed herself as an idiot who has managed to get to 77 without learning how to conduct a pleasant social interaction! You on the other hand are evolved enough to stay off WhatsApp!

I agree with myplace drop the rope - "let them"

They are a different generation, some are very stuck in their ways. Ignore and move on. Well done for your weightloss

Sympathies OP I had a similar conversation with my mother who has been quizzing me on my weight loss. She is judgy and ill informed so all her info comes from the Daily Mail or ITV daytime, so I haven't told her I am on them but she was telling me that "these jabs are for lazy people who would rather inject God knows what so they can keep eating chocolate"

The existence of WLIs seems to bring out very self centred qualities in some people who don't take them. Because quite apart from anything else, why would she think you'd give a tiny shit what she does or doesn't take? It's not any kind of argument. It's just a statement of an irrelevant fact, like the capital of Dijibouti or the price of fish.

Never accept criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from. Gladys can go ride herself as my old nan used to say 🤣

I mean I’m on them too. I don’t tell people because I can’t be bothered dealing with their opinions. But one thing is kind of true. I am lazy and I do take them so I can keep eating what I feel like. I’m crap at dieting so they are a blessing for me because I can eat chocolate if I want- but they stop me wanting to.

Having said that I think the reason that a lot of people are so judgy about them is they like other people being fat. It makes them feel virtuous and superior. So now people can more easily lose weight it irritates them as it takes away something they like feeling superior about. Sucks to be them.

I’m on mj, and told a friend who made me aware of her disapproval. Not arsed tbh. What really annoyed me is she told my cleaner (who is her friend) and said cleaner asked me how much weight I’d lost the next time she cleaned for me 😡😡

Was she anti covid vaccines too?

I don’t know why we have trained Drs and health professionals when all the over 75s have clearly done more in depth training. At least that is how it seems when I speak to the older people down my mum’s road.Everyone in her village has been given incorrect treatment by the GP. 😂😂
I don’t know why some people are so judgmental. Stay positive, be happy that you are getting a healthier body. However a person loses weight the haters always jump in. Ignore. Well done!

I hear it about my adhd medication all the time. It’s like I have a dopamine and adrenaline deficiency would you tell me not to take iron if I was anemic? ( I mean I am and constantly forget to take iron but the Gladys’s in the world don’t need to know that). As long as you have a doctor keeping an eye on everything it’s whatever.

People like her do what they do to make themselves feel better. There's no point bothering with her, maybe she's jealous of your weight loss, or that people in the neighborhood like you more, or maybe she's just a mean cow. Either way, no good can come of messaging her about it, she will just become defensive and double down on her position which will make you crosser. Try and let it go and be proud of how you're managing your own health so well.