MJ for DS(18)

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I could provide a huge back story to this but I'll try to keep it as succinct as possible without missing out anything relevant.

We are a family of naturally slim people. DH, our parents, our siblings, our other DC, our DNs and I are all healthy weights and have no issues around food. We cook well, genuinely enjoy healthy food, but have no hang ups around enjoying the occasional junk. I'd like to think that DH and I have modelled a healthy relationship with food for the DC.

DS is different. Around puberty, he started eating significant quantities of junk food and also cooking and eating massive amounts of carb heavy foods like pasta for himself. His weight started creeping up year by year.

Obviously we didn't ignore this. We followed all the best practice, trod very carefully and absolutely never, EVER shamed him for his weight or attempted to restrict him (other than by not making junk food too freely available in the home). Maybe even that limited restriction fuelled the fire and made it worse, I don't know, but we certainly did our very best and we can't change anything now.

Around Y11 he was buying quite alarming quantities of junk food with his own money and his weight sharply increased to the point where he is now, which is visibly obese.

I'm not sure what drove this junk food obsession. DS is a very easy going, live in the monent person and tends to always prioritise immediate rewards over long term gain. I honestly think it may have been as simple of the fact that he just loves sweets, crisps and soda. I don't think there are deep emotional issues at play. And all this time he's been enjoying life, had friends, girlfriends etc.

So fast forward to now. As I said, DS is obese, to the extent that it will certainly have health implications for him. It definitely limits his ability to exercise.And he is self conscious about it to a degree, and would like to lose weight.

Over the past few months he has matured massively. Basically he's now putting effort into things that will pay off in the longer term. He's really knuckled down for his A Levels and he has totally cut back on the junk food which is obviously fantastic. But although he seems to have stopped gaining weight as a result, he hasn't lost any - and I would be really reluctant to encourage calorie deficit through dieting because I'd worry that could undo the positive changes he's made by making him feel restricted and thus create food noise.

So to get to the point. I am wondering if MJ is something that he could consider as an option. This isn't something I am asking lightly and part of me thinks it is madness to even think about it for someone so young.

But on the other hand, his weight is such that he is at serious risk of health complications and it is a real barrier to exercise.

My thinking is that he has grown up, changed his habits, but will stay overweight as an adult because there is so much to lose and it is a daunting prospect. Whearas if he could reduce the weight down more easily with the help of MJ, then he can start his adult life at a healthier weight and lay down healthier habits for the long term.

Cost is not a factor.

I'd welcome the honest opionions of those with experience of MJ either for themselves or their children. Please be gentle though, I absolutely love the bones of my DS and believe me I have done everything I can to do the best for him.

Mounjaro requires that calorie deficit to lose weight, I can't see how trying to eat to a calories deficit without Mounjaro to trying with Mounjaro is going to be better. Also you would need to think about what happens when he reaches target weight?

I am a huge believer and a user of Mounjaro, but would worry medicalising obesity so young could lead to long term dependency on the medication to maintain a healthy weight and would only consider it as an absolute last resort to more traditional methods.

If money is no object and you haven't tried it yet, for someone so young, I would try a good PT who specialises in teens and nutrition. It did wonders for my son, his confidence and knowledge of nutrition/macros, fitness, strength etc in his teens.

However much you might want to, you cannot protect him from the fact he needs to be in calorie deficit to lose the weight. What you can do is invest in his longer term health by arming him with the knowledge so he can be in control and hopefully enjoy it too. Wish I had that when I was in my teens/early 20s.

I've accepted I'll need it long term. I have PCOS so I have insulin resistance and I've just accepted I'll need mj to treat my insulin resistance long term.

There are maintenance friendly providers. My favourite is Livewell pharmacy but pharmulous is another option.

I agree with @WeAllHaveWings that I would not want to think the Mounjaro is a first line treatment for losing weight, as much as it might be effective for your DS. It's worth seeing how he gets on with lifestyle changes first now he is mature enough to consider those for himself. Unless he is very obese, Class 2 or Class 3 and it's already affecting mobility and creating health issues?

I was in your DS's position, obese at that sort of age, for similar reasons. I lost weight at uni, was active and did loads of sport, but I had already got a very damaged relationship with food. I'd been put on diets as a younger teen and had real issues with feelings around food being restricted and the whole concept of "dieting". I think that there was more focus and pressure on me to restrictively diet due to being female, and your DS may escape some of that being male.

Is your DS ND? I know for some ND teens that food provides that dopamine hit, it’s easy to access and very difficult to resist.
However at 18, your DS is now at an age where his body will be maturing, his impulse control will be better. You could put the money towards hiring him a PT who could help him build muscle and focus his nutrition on protein.

My DS is Autistic (ASC) and used food as a stimulant. He would binge uncontrollably, cooking pizzas and boxes of breaded chicken at 2am after we’d gone to bed. After I started MJ I became more aware of how much protein I needed to eat. We took a look at DS daily requirement and at his weight he needs a lot. He had seen how my change in diet had helped me to lose weight (he doesn’t know I’m on MJ but he knows I’m prioritising protein to feel fuller and exercising a lot more), and agreed to try tracking his macros.

The switch to eating more protein has massively changed his eating habits. He has to eat breakfast now in order to get the protein in. He’s too full to fill up on refined carbs. He sleeps better and no longer stays up till 2am eating whatever he can find in the freezer.

He has a PT who has noticed he has slimmed down and is now building more muscle, getting stronger and able to lift/push more weight. So naturally his metabolism has increased and he’s decreased his calories because of feeling fuller.

I think worth focusing on diet (not calorie restricting but tracking macros) and exercise first to see if this helps - especially when he’s at an age where his neuroplasticity is high, and it’s peak muscle building years. Focussing on the gains (whether male or female) can be so much more empowering than focussing on the scales.

Also just to add my DS is hyper mobile and his muscles completely atrophied over lockdown where he put on huge amounts of weight and found just walking for 5 mins very painful. We found a specialist physio who gave him very gentle exercises to rebuild his muscle. So it is possible to gently exercise through obesity without causing further damage, especially when they’re young enough to repair and recover.