Would this annoy you?

[EricTheGardener]

Went out with bunch of friends at the weekend - oldest, dearest friends. One put some photos of us on WhatsApp. Another two mentioned how I'd lost weight, looking good etc. Third friend piped up 'Is someone on the Mounjaro?'

I haven't told a living soul I'm on this drug. I don't know why. I just think I'm carrying a lot of shame and humiliation about my weight and I have never been one to vocalise when I've been on a diet as they always failed. I don't know why my friends comment has annoyed me so, as clearly she is not wrong! But it's riled me for some reason. Can anyone relate? She is so lovely and would never intentionally hurt my feelings or do anything to make me feel uncomfortable and this is clearly a throwaway comment. So why do I feel annoyed?

Because the implication is that you couldn't do it without assistance? That's how I would feel.

Just be aware Op you are likely to get a pile on from some posters about WLI - hope I'm wrong. Good luck with your weight loss 🙂

It would annoy me because of the instant focus on the how of the weight loss rather than any comment on your health or your wellbeing as a result of the weight loss. Why does it matter to her what weight loss method you've used? What's her follow up going to be if you say yes, or no? That's what I would be wondering about.

A lot of people are on it and it's in the media a lot recently. I've told everyone I'm on it. I'm prediabetic so I really wouldn't have been able to lose 2.5 stone without mounjaro as I would feel shaky and dizzy when I didn't eat for a few hours due to unstable blood sugars and have constant food noise. I tell others because it may help someone else. I think its obvious when someone loses weight quickly that they are on weight loss injections, it is very difficult to do it with diet and exercise alone, i did try it before mounjaro for 2 months HIIT exercise 4-5 times a week and a deficit and lost 6lbs in 8 weeks and i work and commute very long 12 hour days 5 days a week, so it was exhausting and I tried intermittent fasting but gained weight! Its especially difficult over a certain age, with a metabolic condition and women's hormones!
Some people just need mounjaro to help them lose weight, just like some need other medications, it's nothing to be shameful about.

It's fairly obvious if someone is on it, but she was rude to actually ask. I'd just ignore the message.

No it wouldn't annoy me. It's a flippant comment and it seems literally everyone is on it.

Have you internalised the nonsense view that it's somehow "cheating" to use weight loss injections? Because that's how I felt, because you see so many people being self righteous about it online. As if you're weak or broken for not being able to do it "the proper way".

Would you feel similarly ashamed for taking ibuprofen to help reduce swelling instead of just a cold compress? Or lemsip for a cold instead of just taking a teaspoon of honey? Or paracetamol for a headache instead of a cool flannel?

There's absolutely no shame in using medication where non-medical options haven't worked.

How is it fairly obvious? Interested to know the signs.

I think the question implies there is an expected shame or at least some kind of possible judgement being made. Rather than the response, as of course it's very normal and reasonable not to want to share your personal medical matters with anyone that raises it with you like this.

We’re losing weight and we’re relatively happy? Instead of knowing on celery and feeling miserable?

I don’t know, there’s so much nonsense and petty judgement about using medication to help address what is clearly a significant medical issue.

No one is shouting at people for needed blood pressure meds. It’s all double standards and an extra dose of misogyny.

I think it depends whether you all have the sort of relationship where you tend to share very personal medical info or not. Like how some friendships have no filter at all, but others might still keep certain things quiet even if they're equally close.

Surely that goes for anyone on a diet though? It doesn’t mean that you are specifically taking MJ.

Internalised shame ?

I mean “yes I am and I am so glad it’s helping “ would be a normal response

It wouldn't bother me at all if I was using Mounjaro & I'd be happy to talk about, I really don't understand why people want to hide it. It would annoy me a bit though if i'm not using it.

@Hawkmoth @SilenceInside Yeah. I think it's probably/partly a combination of these. Especially about the possible judgement.

I definitely don't think it's cheating @JudgeBread though I'm hyperaware that others do. I think for someone like me – who never ever mentions their weight, whether in terms of losing it or putting it on – I just feel it would be so out of character to suddenly announce, or even just quietly mention in passing, that I'm using a weight loss drug. So it's not that I'm ashamed of it, it's just that being open about it would be such a new thing for me, and I feel like all my friends and family would suddenly have 'all eyes on me' to scan me for any weight loss every time they see me, if that makes sense? Which makes me deeply uncomfortable.

@JosephsCoat yes this! I think that's why my friend's comment feels almost intrusive in some way. I don't know. I wish I didn't have so many hang ups around it all but it's hard to change them after a lifetime.

I don't know about your experience of dieting, but 40 years of it made me bloody miserable each time. Permanently starving and never eating the nice stuff like cheese.

MJ is different because my appetite is much less and I don't want to snack, so I don't feel I'm denying myself things every second of the day. And I am not obsessing about food.

I feel like I keep posting the same thing but I feel so strongly about this that I am going to keep saying it.

You've grown up in a diet culture which has assigned a moral judgement to the size of your body. Larger bodies are associated with greed and laziness, and smaller bodies are associated with discipline and self-control. It's an enormous step to recognise that your obesity is a health condition which can now be treated. If you had successfully treated a flare-up of rheumatoid arthritis, for example, and then managed to join your friends for a long walk, she wouldn't have said 'ooh, is someone on the biologics?'. Your friend's comment was rude and invasive but she won't recognise it as such, because she (like all of us) exists within the same diet culture and there's a general sense that fat women's bodies in particular are fair game for comment.

I'm super excited to hear the obvious signs of being on WLI from @TennesseeStella!

I think it’s rude to ask too OP. What you share about you health is up to you.

I'd be annoyed at your friend's comment as it is putting you in an uncomfortable position. Either to disclose a private medical thing with the group, or to lie about it, or to be silent in response and have them speculating. Even if you were going to tell people about it, the decision about when and who and where is your flipping decision!

I think, in a nutshell, this is exactly it. I don't want to do any of those three things.

The negative connotations through the press regarding all these meds now would make anyone fell the same. No one cares about blood pressure medication, cholesterol medication, etc. obesity IS a chronic disease and should be allowed to be treated with medication the same as any other medical condition.

Honestly, from the sounds of it, it was just a silly comment due increased media coverage of the drug. I’m on it and have only told one person, mainly incase I had a reaction and died 😂 but I don’t intend to tell anyone else when I have achieved my total weight loss. No one’s business plus a lot of the comments are ignorant due to misinformation and media hype. People might think it’s cheating or the side effects will kill be but the drug has been around for years and like all drugs people can get side effects. Being obese has many side effects and I think there is nothing wrong in taking medication to get you to a healthy weight and reduce other health conditions such as diabetes or high blood pressure. You medication to treat other medications so why not for weight?

This. I don’t think I would be able to notice if someone was on it as said by someone who is on it.

I have lost weight due to a bereavement and I haven’t been eating. I have been asked by several people in my wider circle if I on WLI. I usually tell them I’m not; I have had a shits every day with shock after a sudden bereavement, hence the weight loss. I think it is rude to ask, if people want to share their info, they will without being asked.

Because most people these days are on the jabs. It was said in jest.