MJ guilt / shame

[TheFunkyDuckling]

Hi,

I dunno if this is just me, but I'm feeling a lot of guilt / shame since taking my first shot yesterday.

I don't want to tell anyone for fear of being judged.
I have a lot to lose!! BMI is 46!!!
I'm also worried people are going to expect faster results because I'm on the jab, and not understand that it's still going to be slow and steady. Even if (when) i lose 6 stone (my 1st big target), I'm still going to be in the obese category with a BMI of 34.6! I'm still going to be a "big girl".

I know i shouldn't have to tell anyone what I'm doing and that it's my business, but i guess that that's where the shame comes from if I were to keep it a total secret.

I’ve been on it since September.
My husband knows(it’s in the fridge).
The weight doesn’t just come off without a huge effort with your diet and when you can exercise.

I was trying exactly the same diet and exercise for two years and I was still gaining.

It’s NOBODYS business but yours. You’ve made the best decision to help improve your health. You don’t have to tell anyone except any professional who needs to know.

Never be ashamed at taking positive steps to improve your life and your life expectancy. I wish you all the best 💐. It can be rocky as you go up the dosage. You might feel tired and struggle with eating at all. It does get better, much better.

Lots of water and protein xxxx

Completely understand how you feel. I felt like this before starting too. I still haven’t told anyone I’m on Mounjaro apart from DP because of the stigma around the injections, all the negative opinions naturally slim people have and lack of understanding around why people are obese and can’t "just eat less and move more" to lose weight.

Have to tell myself this is a medical condition that I need help with and that having struggles with food and weight is not some moral failing on my part.

I don’t feel guilty for needing to take antidepressants to manage my mental health, so have to tell myself this isn’t really any different. And as many people on this board say, it’s not really anyone else’s business how you’re losing weight anyway lol.

Do you ever tell people what other medication you take? I doubt it. So why is this any different?

Thank you everyone, they're all great ways of looking at it. X x x

I get it, but, you know what — it’s none of their business. Truly.

I'm on the injections too and have only told one friend who started on them before I did. Nobody else knows.

I think after being overweight for a while we are expected and almost socially programmed to feel shame about everything to do with our weight, including this approach to addressing it. I’m just not prepared to engage with that any more. It’s easier to keep it private, for me anyway, and there is zero wrong with that.

Agree with @0987654321q I don’t generally discuss my health with friends/family so I don’t see why I had to when I started MJ. I started in August have lost nearly 5 and a half stone and I’m now at a healthy bmi and I’m starting to come back down doses for maintenance. I’ve had one friend out right ask and I said no I’ve lost it by walking and eating less which is true! The drug doesn’t do it for you. So don’t feel guilty. Share if you want to and don’t if you don’t!! I’ve told a couple of close friends and that’s it. Good luck!

Anyone that cares about your mental or physical health will wish you all the best and hope it works out for you. But it is no one else's business.

You must resist any urge to crash diet from yourself or others. Healthy weight loss is 1-2lbs a week - and some weeks nothing.

You want to be healthy and losing slowly will be best for your skin, muscle and hair.

You might lose more quickly at the very start of a diet because of losing water weight etc.

Your journey might be long but I very much hope that the medication agrees with you and you can enjoy yourself on the way eating healthy nutritious food. When the meds are just right this is generally what you want to eat.

I would resist pushing yourself onto higher doses if the meds are working as you risk more side effects like eggy burps, sickness and diarrhoea etc.

Good luck!

Don’t be ashamed. If you had high blood pressure or cholesterol or any other medical condition you would take medication to treat it. You don’t need to tell anyone, when the weight starts to come off you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

I have told people but I am old and way past the stage of giving a fuck. I was obese with shockingly high cholesterol levels.

However, if you wouldn’t normally tell someone you were taking a new medication, then there’s no need to share this with them is there?

Good luck.

⬆️ This with bells on!

I don’t think you should feel shame you are taking responsibility and trying to be a healthier you long term. Good for you !
I am sure people who genuinely need MJ to lose weight have not taken it on a whim they will have tried for years to lose weight and diet etc and struggled for various reasons.

Xx ccccvcccvctbg to

I'm so glad I've stumbled on this thread. I've just ordered my 1st pen and only very few people know (husband, mum and twin sister) as they are my support network and sounding board but I don't want to tell anyone else because I definitely feel like I'll be judged.

Reading these comments about using other meds for other health conditions is such a great way to look at this. Thank you for that perspective 👍🏻🩷

There’s absolutely no shame in trying to improve your health, fitness, vulnerability to weight related diseases that ultimately cost the NHS & society billions in turn. Not to mention wanting to improve how look & feel about yourself. Nobody else has a right to know your decisions about your private health & I think you’re wise to keep it to your very close circle (if that). Only if & when you feel you want to share it then do so. You should be celebrated for wanting to make these healthy changes & using medical weight loss methods to do that is nothing to be ashamed of. I felt the same “resorting” to AD’s which society used to stigmatise too. I think anyone that accuses you of “cheating” or being less than for using them are secretly envious & wish they could afford to or be motivated enough to do the same. And to those who think it’s a judgement laden willpower deficiency, they clearly haven’t lived with unremitting food noise, a genetic predisposition to weight gain & probably a lifetime of feeling like a failure for being unable to lose weight. They can F off!

I completely agree with this!

In addition, I’ve found that some people are not happy about me losing weight. I think me being fat made them feel better about themselves and now I’m thinner they don’t like it. It’s been eye opening how some people are genuinely really pleased for me and yet some are not at all. I’ve told very few people about taking Mounjaro as it’s none of their business.

I’ve told a few people and the rest will be told it is diet and exercise as I did before. I’m not losing any faster than doing it without but decided to try as I was hoping for anti inflammatory effects to help my autoimmune arthritis which sadly hasn’t happened. I think anyone who knew me last time will think I am doing the same as before, those who I have met recently will probably think it is WLI.

I lost over 100lbs about 8 years ago but a combination of pre surgery medication and HRT saw most of it go back on in an alarmingly short space of time. I found that some people are weird about weight loss whatever the method. This is their problem though not yours although lots of people feel the right to comment.

With a large number of people taking WLIs think there will be a chunk of people who will assume anyone with a lot of weight to lose are on them anyway. What I would say is please do make sure someone knows you are in case you become unwell.

Good luck. Don’t over think it and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

You don't need to tell anyone. You might change you mind later as you begin to see it working and become more confident, or you might continue to keep it to yourself, either way is fine, take it all just one step at a time.

Well I for one think that it's great that you are getting medical help to deal with your obesity ! You will feel better on all levels and you should be proud of yourself for taking action. My weight is normal but I'm on antidepressants since 20 years or I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning. I've heard knobs talking about "willpower" and it almost broke me. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for following a treatment prescribed to you by a doctor. Only you know how hard it is to eat less for you as only I know how hard it is to get out of the fog without chemical help. Don't tell anyone you suspect might be judgmental. Stay strong. 💗

Please don't feel guilty or ashamed. We are spending a lot of money to try to improve our health, it's not an "easy" option.....you still have to put in the work.

I have told DH, someone at work who is also taking Mounjaro and a couple of my close friends. I'm telling nobody else, including my family as they would worry or my best friend who I know would judge. If they ask, I've told them that I've improved my diet, am eating more fresh vegetables and have reduced my portion sizes and that I am walking more which is all true.

Oh I've told everyone! 😂 I think it's an interesting adventure - such a strange experience.

Everyone I've mentioned it to has just been interested, really, to varying degrees. We all have these soft animal bodies that want want want. It's quite upturning to think we could just alter our desires in this way. Some people have shared their own experiences with things like drinking too much, eating too much, getting obsessed with other things. It's provoked thoughtful conversation.

I don't have shame myself about it, so maybe because I'm so clearly unashamed it sets the frame differently? I would not think very much of someone telling me off about my own body. But you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. Your body is your own business!

I love that attitude. I need to embrace that more 🩷

For me I don't really have shame as such. My body has carried me and kept me safe through multiple pregnancy losses & MH struggles and it's also grown and nourished my son. I suppose I'm just not in a place where I want to have to explain my choices to those who may not understand or take on their judgement. Especially given my job as I work in healthcare & nutrition. I think for me it's about focusing on what I need right now..

I've told a few people, with mixed reactions. Mostly positive, but one friend did suggest that, instead, I give up fast food such as McDonalds. Hilarious, as the last time I ate at McDonalds was decades ago. Another reaction is 'competitive undereating' 'Oh, I wouldn't need that as I can never manage breakfast, only eat a lettuce leaf for lunch and two grains of rice for dinner'. I take it all with a pinch of salt, because these comments are about the person making them, not me.

I think that some people have no idea what it like being very overweight. I think that if Mj helps you lose weight and turns off the food noise it worth using it. I would follow the advice of other users on it here like eating more protein and drinking more water.

A few years ago I was over 20 stone and lost 4 stone on slimming world. I started to eat better and built up my activity. I felt better and looked better. I was lucky not to have diabetes or high blood pressure before this. I put back on some of this weight so I am back in slimming world and I have decided a target I want to get to.
Being honest if Mj was available a few years ago I would have tried it.

You get ignorant people saying this is cheating but to me it helping you to lose weight. It could prevent you getting diabetes or high blood pressure. It can help if you have under laying health issues. Even losing 10% of your body weight if your a few stone overweight makes a difference both health and looks wise.

One of my male friends was a few stone overweight and I tried to get them to lose weight with me. Neither of us are ever going to be skinny people running marathons.
I said we both need to lose weight otherwise we will end up with health issues like diabetes. His attitude was so what.
He now has type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and get pain in his hips and back. He has been in hospital a few times due to a very high heart rate. He was put on ozempic due to his diabetes and is losing weight.
I have seen how being very overweight has effected his health and I think it better to lose some weight to prevent issues like diabetes.

I wish you the best of luck using mj as by Christmas you look and feel so much better with x amount of weight gone.