Impact of significant lifestyle change on your relationships?

[Soooooooverthisnow]

Hi All. I'm waiting for my first pen to be delivered. I absolutely have to do this, I'm over 20st and I want to be fitter and healthier for my child and ultimately live as long as I can to see him grow up. I am not the best mum I can be right now, but I will be!

My biggest concern is the impact on my relationship, which is really centered around eating and drinking most weekends.

How have the significant lifestyle changes for you impacted your relationship when only one of you is going through it?

I have visions of me being up and out on a Sat/Sun with my child (because I'm not feeling rough and sluggish) but him still going to the pub Saturday and moping around on the sofa all day Sunday and us ending up with two different lives living under the same roof.

Any tips for how to approach this or experiences you can share?

So he has no plans to lose weight?

what do you currently do with the children on the weekends?

oh this is the twat who earns half what you do and spanks £300 over a few days at the pub

i can’t fathom why you’re worried about the relationship op. sounds like the end of it would be on your interests

How heavy is he?

The reality is, it has to change if you want to be successful

I had a sleeve and while Im still a massive foodie and we do like eating out the reality is we have to choose very carefully where we go, life cant centre around food in the way it did. We go to quite expensive restaurants where its less carb centred and try to go abroad for holidays where eating is more healthy ratgher than in the UK

Thats the reality. The pay off is vastly vastly improved health, mobility and a massive new wardrobe!!

Well, right now all this thought is is a form of self sabotage. You've not started yet and you're already thinking of barriers

Sounds like this relationship is probably what's preventing you from being a good mum. What's your child doing whilst you and your husband are drinking at weekends?

My advice would be to start the medication and see how you go and take it from there. The man I'd be ditching regardless

I think its important to find alternatives. I’ve really struggled with one friend on her own weightloss journey, who is an all or nothing type, and we’ve almost entirely stopped socialising because she will not do any food/drink based activities and her evenings are filled with exercise classes - so things I suggest are shot down and she doesn’t offer alternatives very often. I try to think of things but its hard.

As a result, on my own weightloss journey, I try to ensure I am making sure my changes don’t change my friendships too much - I try to bring things to the table, and allow room for meals out etc, when I am able, and without compromising my success!

Of course, its not the same as a partner, but I do think there’s room for a little compromise too. Not everyone gets their lightening bolt at the same time!

yes this

I don't know how the weight loss medication affects appetite but I managed to lose 4 stone by eating smaller potions and exercising a lot. My point isn't that it is that I love food - always have. Now it's just that smaller potions are key. Maybe look at tapas menus for various places and you can pick whilst others eat more. Sometimes also I might order a starter and side salad and have a couple of chips from a shared portion of chips whilst others have bigger meals. Although what has happened is that my DH started emulating me more and he is happy to share dishes and has got into running as much if not more than me! Drinks wise there are loads of different options too,🙂

Oh and alcohol free lager / beer has generally less calories so you can drink that in between drinks to join in. And just eat and drink more slowly.

My biggest concern is the impact on my relationship, which is really centered around eating and drinking most weekends.

I have visions of me being up and out on a Sat/Sun with my child (because I'm not feeling rough and sluggish) but him still going to the pub Saturday and moping around on the sofa all day Sunday and us ending up with two different lives living under the same roof.

Your current lifestyle is seriously impacting your health and probably his too. You have realised this and, for the sake of both your family and yourself, are taking steps to fix it. If he doesn't wake up and do the same it is likely you will outgrow him. That doesn't mean you stop becoming a healthier and happier you.

If you both want it to work then it will. I'm 3 stone down so far, my diet has drastically changed as has my appetite. We still go out, recently had a weekend away where all meals were in restaurants/cafes. DH and DD ate what they wanted, while I had a coffee, or a starter or just a side instead of a main meal. It wasn't an issue at all or something we needed to discuss/agonise over.

If your relationship is lured y strained and small issues get blown up then it's likely that you working on yourself will cause issues, but that's more indicative of the overall relationship than a result of the injections.

Honestly no real impact. There have been times where I have left most of my food but it doesn’t really cause concern. I would say that I go out for drinks less and am not really around nightlife much but that doesn’t bother me.

What does your child do currently while you’re both lying around hungover?

It's better for you and your child to be active and out and about at the weekend rather than staying at home because you're feeling rough and sluggish. If your partner doesn't recognise that and rethink his lifestyle a bit, well, that might lead to another lifestyle change for you to consider.

Put yourself first and say NO to whats not serving YOUR goals for yourself and family (son)

It is as simple as that, right now you need to be focusing on your weight loss and whilst you can occasionally enjoy yourself, you need to make significant lifestyle changes for it to work.

If someone in your life is not supportive of that then they are sabotaging you. This will come in many forms so watch out.

put yourself first.