In two minds about telling people

[Devonchills]

I've started Mounjaro about 2 weeks ago after being obese for over 20 years. Same story as many I expect, diet after diet and putting all the weight back on plus more.
Anyway, it's working great for me, I hope to lose about 4 stone.
I'm just in two minds to tell people or not. On one hand I've nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about but on the other I feel my weight loss in nobody else's business.
What did you all do, I would love to hear people's thoughts on this.

I didn’t tell anyone except Dh, my sister and my Mum. However I have lost nearly three stone and people are starting to comment and I find it very hard not to be honest, especially with people who might want to consider it for themselves. I also feel as though if I say ‘intermittent fasting, calorie counting and prioritising protein’ I am being dishonest even though all of that is true. I am finding it easier to talk about it now it is working!

I have told my DH and my best friend. Both of whom are very supportive. I haven’t told my adult children as they’d worry or say I’m fine as I am. Glad I haven’t told other friends since one sent me a long wattsapp message after news feeds regarding side effects telling me how she would never take such medication blah blah!

There's no right or wrong answer here. You have to go with what's comfortable for you. If you are happy telling people, yes, be proud! If you don't want to share your medical information - you don't have to.

I have told no-one. DH knows I'm dieting, he's commented I look a bit slimmer (have lost just over 2st). No-one else has commented. I don't look noticeably different though.

I have now realised if you make the decision not to tell you need to stick to it. Like you can’t go back a few weeks later and say hey I wasn’t completely honest. As they will think uou lied even if you suddenky say I just started them

I had dinner with some friends last night, everyone commented on my weight loss, and I didn’t admit it, as one friend, who has signficant weight issues, I can’t work out if she will judge and be mean, or try it herself. The odds are in favour of the judgeyness.

so I didn’t say, i just did the whole eat less move more and exercise thing, but I find if I now say it, it will be worse, defo bad, defo judgement, so I’m now stuck with this.

part of me thinks I should have said, as I’m fundamentally honest, but the reasons I didn’t still stand. But I feel bad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m exercising, I’m dieting, I am eating less and moving more, just the reason I’m able to do it this time is the drug.

My dh and ds know, we don't tend to keep secrets in our house.

I have told my ex-SIL who is a close friend and my adult niece who I am close to as we share / support each other on most things.

My mum/dad are no longer here, but I wouldn't have told them as they wouldn't have understood, and I won't be telling my 4 siblings and their families or any other friends/ work colleagues. It is medical information, I don't talk about being on meds for high blood pressure or acid reflux, so don't plan to talk about these either.

Not sure what I would say if asked directly, will cross that bridge if I come to it, but WLI has never been on their radar or even discussed generally.

I stopped telling most people about any weight loss attempts several years ago - find it much better that way. I just don't find talking about it helpful at all with most people and it can become a tedious/intrusive topic of conversation quite easily. I don't really like people commenting on my weight loss either now. Been up and down the stones too many times - it is boring to talk about and I would much prefer it if people politely ignored the fact that I struggle with my weight.

DH knows - joint bank account and feel like he should know just in case it is medically important. Don't tell him how much I have lost and very rarely mention it at all.

One friend who I chat with weekly on the phone (and is the ONE person I do enjoy discussing weight woes with as we are very similar - she started it a few weeks after I did). She lives a long distance away - haven't actually seen her for years and no friends in common now.

That's it. None of my local friends know. My closest friend doesn't know. Just don't discuss weight with these friends at all.

Thanks for the replies. I think I'm not going to tell anyone. My husband knows and is very supportive.
Like pp said, I don't discuss any other medication with people.

I really value honesty in people over alot of things. If no one asks then don't mention it.

If someone specifically asks then I feel it's important to be an honest person ( unless it's some random you've just met).When you see celebs blatantly denying plastic surgery when it becomes apparent they have, i believe they lose a great deal of credibility as a decent person.

I wonder if anyone would ask you directly are you using the jab. It's quite blunt. In this situation I definitely wouldn't say no. I'd say yes.

You haven't anything to be ashamed of. Of course people who struggle with their weight are going to take up the offer!! It's no one's place to tell you about the negatives or their beliefs regarding negatives as it's none of their business.

@Tittat50 I completely understand where you're coming from about value in honesty it is an important part of integrity , however there is an important difference between honesty And privacy

Someone choosing not to answer or changing the subject doesn’t damage credibility it demonstrates healthy boundaries.

Protecting your privacy doesn’t make you less credible, it shows confidence that you only share what feels appropriate.

Changing the subject or declining to answer is basically a tacit yes.

and not saying is effectively lying by omission. I’ve just done it and it is. privacy is the reason not to say, and there are many others, but the reason to lie, is different from honesty v lying,

@WeAllHaveWings I see what you're saying. Changing the subject or not going there isn't the same as saying no I don't in response to the direct question.

I have to be honest, I am not on the jabs and am chronically underweight for health reasons ( it's own unique challenge). Yet I stumbled into this chat. I'm curious why people aren't ok to be honest and wondered if it was due to criticism. I think we are all doing things all the time that someone would have a negative view on if they so chose. I have a friend who is very happy on the injections and shouts it from the rooftops. I have a great deal of respect for that.

Where people are secretive and avoid it I would find it unsettling. I haven't encountered this personally as only know the one person who takes it.

@Tittat50 you might know more people on weight loss injections and just be unaware because they haven't shouted it from the rooftops.

It's my own private business, a private medical decision. I don't talk about my private health and medical issues to anyone outside my immediate family. If that's unsettling to others and secretive then so be it.

I’ve just taken the first dose and so far haven’t told anyone, even my other half. I just want to see how it pans out, for a bit, l don’t know if I’ll have to give up if the side effects prove too much. my OH is generally good about these types of things, but I’m doing this for ME!
as for friends etc, I don’t want all the patronising or preaching and whatnot. And certainly not the “I told you so” if I have to stop with the injects. I take various meds but don’t feel the need to shout it from the roof tops to all and sundry, it’s nobody else’s business.

It is a personal question and honestly not one I would expect anyone to ask without a medical need to do so. Same as someone asking about my bowel movements/sex life/net worth etc. I don't share about these things either.

You choose to share or you don't, and I don't see that as secretive.

I do see asking someone directly as massively overstepping and rude though and definitely wouldn't answer that one way or the other.

I’m curious about your response. How do you stumble into the weight loss injections sub forum, stumble into a thread entitled in two minds to tell and stumble into posting..surely it’s deliberate.

and why would you find it unsettling if people don’t tell you their private medical information. Do you tell everyone yours? I suspect not, so why do you feel entitled to know other people’s.?

im not being snarky , just I’d assume you deliberately read this thread, and deliberately responded, and are deliberately making it very clear you want people to tell you if they use injections to lose weight.

is there anything going on with you , that is making you feel this way? Why do you need to know how people have lost weight?

@SilenceInside I really don't understand the reason for the defensiveness. I can imagine there's a reason, people are being very critical or judgemental with all this perhaps.

I don't shout various things from the rooftops. If I'm asked, I'd happily declare. There should be no shame here. People always will be arseholes I guess. I wouldn't give a stuff if this is working and you're living your best life.🤷‍♀️ Celebrate it and everyone else can bugger off surely.

They aren’t being defensive. Again, why do you need to know, to the extent you’re now repeatedly posting it, how people lose weight? Why is this so important to you?

I will tell anyone the truth if they ask. I've lost over 4 stone and none has said anything, but I WFH and people only see me from the boobs up. Oh knows as side effects were so horrendous for the first two months he thought I was dying!! GP Hospital, Dentist and hairdresser as she did say are you losing weight at my last visit.

@Tittat50 you've answered your own question there really. It's not surprising that people might be perceived as defensive when they are called ashamed, secretive and unsettling simply for choosing not to share personal private medical information with others.

Fwiw, I am not ashamed of taking WLI and I do not give a monkeys what anyone else thinks. That doesn't give me an obligation to share what I consider to be personal and private information about my health.

Only my husband knows and it will stay that way. I have never talked about my diet and weight to anyone apart from him. My business only. I am intensely private. My mum and sister never stop, always telling me how much they have put on or lost, stick it on Facebook yada yada and I just cringe. However, I just nod and say supportive things.

I thought I wouldn't tell anyone but dp, but I'm not good at secrets so have told a few. I think mainly because I don't want people to think 'nobody I know has done it so I shouldnt'. Also I suppose because people do congratulate you for weight loss and I don't want to lie about that, though tbh I suppose if you comment in that way, it's a bad thing.

There are many reasons from privacy and weightloss drugs are similar to other medications, how many people openly say they are using viagra or mental health medications because they need some help?

Choosing privacy does not mean I am ashamed, it just reflects my comfort zone or boundaries. Telling others could potentially open the flood gates to many other questions and it is not my responsibility to educate others on the complex reasons why I, or anyone, might need any medication.

Just because you choose not to share it doesn't mean that you're defensive/lying/lack honesty/ashamed. Lying/lacking honesty would be to bring up the topic of WL medication and then say you would never try them (even though you are on them). Not sharing something private, you don't wish to share, when asked by someone with no right to know is maintaining a very basic boundary.

I'm not ashamed of my net worth but that doesn't mean I would share this kind of information with anyone who doesn't directly need to know.

Read my posts. There's not one harsh or unkind thing there.The defensiveness is not warranted. My words are in response to blatant lying. Not people who take weight loss injections.

If someone blatantly asks me a direct question I won't lie. And when you lie in reply to a direct question, it feels sinister to me. My advice is therefore why lie? You have nothing to be ashamed of. Don't offer it up if you don't want to. I find if you go down the bullshit route it will bite you in the bum. And yes, it would make me look at someone and their integrity quite differently if they lie. Not because they take weight loss injections!

I believe anyone criticising or judging is most likely jealous or insecure so I'd shut that down and own it. Yes I take this, I feel great, end of discussion.

Clearly this is a very emotive subject.

Good luck OP and enjoy the benefits. It sounds pretty miraculous to me this stuff. Hope it helps you live your best life 😘

Noone knows. I do live alone though - so I am not hiding it from a partner or have anyone sharing finances.

Noone has asked me outright - although I am sure one or two suspect, however I am firmly in the ‘no weightloss talk’ camp and have been most of my life, at all sizes. not because I think its inherently bad to talk about it, but because its often attached to some horrible body shaming/disordered eating pattern/general shittiness that can be hard to leave out of discussions. So i talk about it here and nowhere else really.

i don’t think its wrong to deny it if people ask outright either - although I wouldn’t lie about some other miracle weightloss trend (on a cabbage soup diet! Doing the special k thing!) to deflect. Noone is entitled to medical information from anyone - even people who ‘value honesty’. Just because some people like to be open books, it doesn’t everyone else must be. Plus if you go for ‘i’d rather not say’ line - EVERYONE knows it means yes!!!

i haven’t mentioned it simply because i don’t discuss that stuff so there is no reason to, and some people in my life are vehemently anti this sort of thing. I don’t care to change their minds, I just cannot be arsed to argue or defend it.

maybe i will change my mind in future, as the media focus changes and the use of the glp1 for other things becomes more prevalent.