Is there any point doing injections if I can't do a full overhaul?

[Sprogonthetyne]

So for background, I work and am the main carer to two children with SEN, 'D'H literally cannot cope with the DC's needs, so everything falls to me. The last few years have been pretty intense with a far amount of stress eating and allowing my own health to slip to the bottom of the priority list, resulting in me now been horrendously fat. I really want and need to do something about this, but I'm literally at capacity and close to overwhelmed just from keeping everyone else afloat, so know I won't be able to put as much into weightloss as I really need to.

I have very little time when I'm not either working or careing for the DC, so not much opportunity to increase exercise. I also broke my ankle a few months ago, so can't even walk that far, I currently go swimming 1-2 times a week, but realistically won't be able to increase this.

My DC also have very restricted diets, and I honestly don't have the time or capacity to make two different meals every evening, so more often then not I end up eating the same crap they will. I could have a smaller portion just skip it but won't be able to change what we eat for this meal.

Monthly budget won't cover injection, but I have savings which would cover about 18 months worth of medication. Is it worth trying or is it just going to be a waste of money if I can't make the other changes alongside it?

Hey

Not sure if my answers will help you at all but you sound like you are in a difficult spot trying to decide what to do for the best.

I think some of what you need to do is actually in your post- you have put yourself last and this is where you are. I think as parents & career that is so so easy to do, and I'm not saying reversing to put yourself first will be easily done but can you start doing some small consistent things each day to ensure you are taking care of yourself?

Making sure you drink enough water, eat fresh fruit & veg, have enough protein.

These might seem small or even impossible & some days they will seem harder than others at first but they are bedrock to taking care of yourself physically.

If you are doing the majority of the shopping can your other half be responsible for the food shop and making sure you have nutritious food in to eat /meals planned? Then you can have this alongside what the children are having?

The injections do work but you have to use them alongside a change in diet, they will suppress your appetite and make you feel more full but I've expedited and read from others that if this is still very rich/ high fat/ low protein food it can make you feel quite poorly tummy wise.

Real key is starting to put yourself first- that doesn't mean putting anyone else last

I mean this gently but could you be looking for reasons to not do it? For your own health being able to eat less and lose some weight will be hugely beneficial. And getting healthy for you and your kids will have a lot of positives,

I would see it as an investment in your health.

I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation and recognise how easy it is to put everyone else's needs ahead of our own.
A few thoughts, but as you will read, people's experiences are very different.
I have been lucky in having few side effects other than tiredness but you may be one of the unlucky ones and this may impact on work/caring. Unfortunately, it often seems that those who eat a less healthy diet are more likely to experience digestive problems so this may be you if you continue your current diet but just smaller portions, which I gather is the intention?
Secondly, what happens after WLI is largely unexplored territory in the UK but, I suspect if you use them to lose weight without changing your habits and then just stop, it is likely that you will find yourself back to square one. This may not be the best use of limited funds.
It may be best to really work on whether there is anyway you can improve your diet before going on mj.
You say your DH is unable to help you with the children, but could he support you eg by being in charge of making healthy meals for the two of you? I'm really not sure that there would be a long term benefit of mj unless you can find a way to use it to make lifestyle changes. Sorry.

I note that you have written that your children have restricted diets, and that you refer to it as crap. Is there anything that you can do to ensure that they eat better, as well as yourself? It is worth it.

If you can't afford it don't. What you need is lifestyle changes and the injections aren't a magic wand and if you cant do that it will all just pile back on when you come off of it, then you'll be overweight, skint and unhappy. There are some things you can do though, more water, take a short stroll at lunchtime at work to boost physical activity etc and build in the good habits where you can.

Stress causes fat to go to our abdominal area, so you need to reduce that where possible What you have is a DH problem, if he can't handle the children why can't he take over cooking so you can have a healthy meal?

Would you get a balanced diet if you aren’t eating that much food? Why can’t your ‘D’H cook in the evening for the adults? Then you could have a wider range of foods that you can eat available, that might be easier with the injections as when you are knackered and there is easy food right in front of you - you are going to eat it!

Full time single parent of 2 kids with SEN here. I think you need to start small before investing in the injections. You need to start changing your habits one at an time.
Increase your water and protein. If you eat the same as the kids in the evening work on your lunches. Aim for 20-30g protein for lunch and breakfast which in turn should mean you feel less hungry and help you eat smaller dinner portions.
For reference I have a porridge pot with a scoop of protein powder for breakfast. Quick easy and doesn’t take up anymore time.
lunch tends to be a protein bagel with turkey slices and low fat cheese with some salad. Snack on Greek yogurt and berries Not much variety at the moment but I just get overwhelmed and wouldn’t be able to think. I have lost nearly 3 stone so far. Good luck

The injections are to help you make other changes. You do need to be able to eat a healthy diet and do at least some moderate exercise to get the benefit. My gp ran a seminar and they are saying you need to be eating healthier and exercising before starting the meds and are finding 1/3 of those requesting it initially didn't actually need meds, they just needed determination.

Your life is difficult so nobody is being critical but don't spend so much on meds that you don't really have until you are in the place to make permanent changes

Do the injections or meds actually work for stress eating? They suppress hunger when hunger has got out of hand - but they won't quell the desire for comfort you're seeking in food.

I have also put on almost a stone through stress eating in the last year due to high needs kids, a DH who is a shift worker so often absent plus working 40 hours a week self employed - often after the kids have gone to bed so not sleeping enough and powering through with sugar and caffeine.

The only way to make a real change is to change what you can in your life to make way for yourself.

I'm not there yet either but I do need to do something in 2025.

She has SEN kids. Look up autism and afrid. She's doing the best she can with her kids diet and didn't ask for any opinions on that.

Theres certainly a lot more sausages and things in breadcrumbs then I'd like. We're working on it but it's a slow process. DS is very texture sensitive and if it's not a safe food he just doesn't eat, it's only in the last year that I've managed to get enough in him to get him out of the underweight category. We introduce one new food each month alongside the safe food, but this is more likely to be accepted if we're all eating it.

I would be able to change what I eat during the day, so possibly just fill up on healthy food then and either skip tea all together or have a token amount so the DC see us eating together

It is nowhere near the same but I have put on a stone since the loss of a parent through stress and comfort eating. I also thought briefly about injections but also I know injections can’t change why I’m eating.

I instead have started my fitness pal to start calorie counting (free) and I’ve bought some interesting salad ingredients (cheap) and I’m aiming to lose a pound a week (realistic). The main thing is consistency and having a backup of what you will do when you have a stressful day that isn’t to comfort with food. I feel for me my inside life is being reflected in my weight and it is my body screaming at me that I need to look after it.

Also your dh needs a kick up the arse - how dare he not be able to cope with the kids he has fathered and leave it all to you. Knob.

Do not try, and chide me, thank you. You do not know what the OP is doing in terms of feeding her children, and whether she could make some positive changes. Their diet is just as important as hers.

It sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate but it does still seem worth it, looking after yourself is important too.

Exercise doesn't have to be a big time commitment, a lot of people find the idea of 'exercise snacking' one they can fit into their lives. Some squats while the food cooks, a few stretches with a resistance band while supervising bath time, a plank before bed - they all add up.

Some bagged salad or steam bag veggies to add to the meals you share with the children, swapping out some of the less healthy stuff so it isn't a completely different meal, just adjusted.

Thank you for your reply@Sprogonthetyne . It is not easy from the sounds of things, but you know that you want things to change, and that is the first step. Good luck.

The injections don't make you lose weight, they make you able to more easily stick to a calorie deficit, so at the very least you need to ensure you are eating less calories in order for them to work.

Practically there are easy ways to accomplish differentiated meals without cooking 2 dinners. For example

• spaghetti bolognese for the kids bolognaise with microwaved green beans for you
• lasagna for the kids, stuff a couple of mushrooms with the meat in red sauce and cook it alongside
• chicken nuggets and chips for the kids, chicken nuggets and roasted broccoli for you

I also bought a cheap slow cooker, twice a week I fill it with meat, veg and stock or tinned tomatoes and I make casseroles or chilli or chunky veg soups. That makes about 4 portions which go in the fridge or freezer and give me a full meal for about 225 calories. It's just a matter of putting stuff in it and turning it on. I don't have a lot of spare time and I'm a lazy cook so I tend to buy ready chopped and prepped veg that just needs to be poured into the machine.

But she did not come on here asking for advise on her child’s diet. You just decided to comment on it, without enough background information.

With the dinners I think if you are creative it’s not so hard.
you could microwave steamed veg or frozen peas and instead of the alphabet’s (or whatever) and grill fish fingers for kids and grill a piece of fish for you
Instead of sausages either get chicken sausages or air fry some lean pork strips with some seasoning etc.

could these suggestions or similar work??

i would 💯 do the injections BUT I’d set myself up for success by making a clear plan that is sustainable ahead of time and I’d trial it before starting for a month or so.

Then get your calories in during the day, if you’re on the drugs you can easily not want dinner or a minimal portion in the evening.

I've found the overwhelm of dealing with my ND food restrictions has really affected my ability to eat well and meal plan in a way I'd like to.

Joining this as I'd like to see if the injections would help take at least one of my burdens away from my week.

I would say go for it
Plan ahead to have lots of fruit veg and high protein foods in as that's how ive managed the side effects- protein bars / yoghurts / cheese / ham eggs etc
Then you can can have a token portion of whatever your kids are having for their dinner but I'm just not hungry today, or whatever is acceptable for your home.

Most people take them for 3/6 months in my experience and lose 3/4 so if a 3 stone loss is what you'd like short term then I'd say try it over that period - the side effects can be grim and as you dose weekly then you can skip a week such as Xmas as it can be restrictive if your also eating socially and people would notice / comment

But please do use this time to put you first, get to a healthier weight and ensure you look after your physical and mental wellbeing alongside dieting - it's the best thing you can do to sustain being an amazing parent long term x

I guess like OP many people worry about what happens at the end.

I started the jabs at the end of August and I'm 10kg down - I've been fat my whole life, but got to a point when I was getting out of breath just walking. I'd previously lost a bit (over lockdown, when I had time) but put it all back on when life got busy again.

Similar to you OP, I just don't have any more time to make in my day around my kids and job and keeping house, I just don't have any room in my head for thinking about it, time to do any proper exercise, or willpower to do anything more than deal with the current stress I'm under, and there's not going to be any let up in that for a couple more years yet for many reasons.

The jabs have taken the mental load of dieting off. I don't overeat, because I don't want to. I just don't fancy the biscuit, or to finish off the kids nuggets. It's been life changing.

So no. I don't think life-overhaul is necessary, I think the jabs bring that with them.

And yes, as a PP has said, somehow it seems to have improved other areas of my life - previously I was struggling to find the time and motivation to keep the house tidy, but in the last 2 months I've cleared out 3 rooms, and started going on walks if I get to school early for pickup (rather than just wanting to sit and veg in the quiet) - I don't know why, but I feel lighter mentally as well as physically.