To think it’s rude to ask if weight loss is due to jabs?

[DesertGecko]

There’s so much stigma around these jabs that I no longer feel comfortable discussing it with people IRL. And tbh, my medication is not anyone else’s business. I also wouldn’t entertain questions about my finances, which most people know is rude to discuss at least but asking what medication someone is taking is rude as well. Why do they need to know? They don’t. If they’re not a judgey person then that’s fine I don’t mind discussing it but so many people have a bad attitude about others using jabs to lose weight. And then it puts people in an awkward situation of having to either lie or divulge their medical information, or make things uncomfortable by saying ‘I don’t want to discuss my medical information’ or some such. Yet it seems no one thinks it’s rude to ask? It’s like they feel they have a right to know this private information about you, and if it was simple curiosity that might be one thing but often you’ll hear no end about it, and people’s attitudes turn sour.

It really depends who is asking. If it’s Zara on the tills in Sains, I’m not telling her.

If it’s someone close to me that I trust, I’ll probably tell them.

As a rule, if I notice someone I know has lost weight I wouldn’t dare ask them about it. I’ve never done that. Doesn’t feel right.

Just respond by asking them how much money they have or how much debt they have.. funny to see their face be like , that's none of your business.. exactly.. now don't question me! Haha

Weight loss I would never ask details, I might say congratulations or 'you look great'

However, this is only recent thoughts due to jabs. Previously, when jabs were not a thing, I would quite likely ask if they were trying new diet - in case I might want to try it too

Finances I'm in 2 minds about

Asking things like someone's salary, how much they have in savings, what they inherited = Rude

Discussing best savings accounts, benefits of paying into pensions, tax efficiencies etc. - these are all things I would speak about to any friends, colleagues and family whose opinions I value

Asking how much things cost? It's all pretty much available online anyway so better to just check Zoopla than make someone uncomfortable

I do agree it’s rude.

I think ultimately though, you individually need to decide if you are willing to disclose or not. No judgement here, I’m not disclosing it to anyone because I don’t want the lectures or opinions.

Because I’ve decided not to discuss it, I’m comfortable with a categorical ‘No.’ when asked if I’m using WLI. I think a retort to the rudeness of the question will strongly imply that I am using it, which I think will open the floodgates to the lectures and opinions that I desperately want to avoid.

Fortunately I’m so bloody cold at the minute that no one has noticed weight loss due to wearing the warmest jumpers and a padded coat!

I've lost weight recently. I think a lot of people assume injections. There's no shame in any of it so I don't care what they think.

The more people normalise it, the less stigma. Just style it out!

Tbf I find you don't need to ask. It's the new vegan, people will always find a way to slip it into conversations.

On a personal level I don't tend to pay much attention to people enough to know if they've lost weight. Apart from blokes oddly. Something in the face I notice.

No one has asked me but I've told some people of my own accord. Many people are still totally unaware of these jabs, or that they're being used by 'normal' people and not Sharon Osbourne. I would think most of my friends and relatives are oblivious to the possibility that I've used them - the MN awareness of them isn't reflected everywhere.

If I think someone might be interested in using WLJ to lose weight themselves then I’ve been open and in fact forwarded details of my provider.

Otherwise a blunt “no” is fine. No obligation to be truthful given the personal nature of the info.

Interestingly though I’ve found most people v supportive.

I think if it were someone I didn't know well just asking randomly, and frankly being a bit rude, I'd make something up. Bonus points for creativity.

It takes me back to when I was working in a large organisation and a woman from a different service to mine cornered me and told me I looked fantastic and asked how I'd lost all the weight. This was puzzling because I've been roughly the same weight all my adult life and also because she had worked with me on and off for years. Clearly she was mixing me up with someone else. As I was in a hurry and a bit perplexed I just blurted out something about 'generally cutting down' and sped off. Given that in most of our encounters she was awkward as hell, I subsequently regret not having come up with something more creative.

I suppose there's two ways of looking at it.

A few years ago if you lost a lot of weight, someone might comment on it and ask if you'd been following a specific diet, and that might not be considered rude.

On the other hand, this is a prescription medication, and you don't generally ask people what medicine they're taking.

If you’re discussing the weight loss, then no, I don’t think it’s rude. People talk about keto, intermittent fasting, exercise etc all the time

in fact people never shut up about these things in my experience!

the jab is just another method

I think anyone taking action to address their weight issues should be proud of themselves. It is rude to ask, but that's people for you.

If someone is being rude no but also why hide the fact you had jabs. People might ask because maybe they want to lose as well and lying isn't going to help them.

People can get judge about fasting and other methods like weight watchers or people doing low carb so it's not unique to just jabs.

Diet culture is so ingrained in our lifestyle that it is normal for people to talk about their diets and people to ask how you lost it. I don’t think I’ve ever worked in an office where someone isn’t talking about keto or intermittent fasting or calorie counting or slimming world or Cambridge. As a result, it is normal to ask how people have lost weight.

Any weight loss plan requires costs, some more than others. If someone is asking how you afford it, you just respond that you’re prioritising it. I don’t know if talking about is rude or not. On the one hand, the more people are open about using it the less shame there is because people “didn’t do it the right way”, it’s just another tool in the toolbox. It’s a perfectly valid tool for people and there’s a lot of people who do not understand the food noise issue. On the other, I wish diet culture wasn’t so prevalent in our lives. I’m sure constantly talking about how we can restrict ourselves for decades has really messed us all up and I hated when I lost weight that was all people were interested in about me, everything else in my life paled in comparison. It really pissed me off that was the only comment people could make about my life. But that isn’t specifically related to weight loss jabs but how we engage with obese people and when they are finally socially acceptable.

I have to admit that so far, if the person who asks is likely BMI>30 I tell them I'm on mounjaro. I feel bad telling someone else who might benefit from them that it was just diet and exercise. I'm on them because my SIL was honest and transparent with me and it made me have some hope that it would work for me too.

Yes, it is rude to ask - I think it is rude for most people to comment your weight full stop though.

I've lost 2.5 stone recently and four people have commented - one of which said it in a way that was OTT (you've lost LOADS of weight!) and not private (so everyone in room then turned to look me up and down). We're just acquaintances and I have never mentioned my weight/diets/trying to lose weight to her so I found it pretty inappropriate to comment. Rest were ok but I would rather they didn't comment, but I can understand they were trying to be encouraging/give a compliment and other people would welcome this.

Thankfully, no one has mentioned jabs to me. There is no one who I wouldn't consider that over-stepping if they asked - even my closest friend. It is just one of many things I would never ask someone - they would tell me if they wanted to share it.

Yes, it's rude to ask.

Weight loss is personal and people who've never had a problem with their weight can be incredibly judgemental in their ignorance.

Literally nobody else's business.

The more open people are about it then the less of a stigma there will be. Personally I would never comment on someone's weight loss but I don't see why asking about the jab is any different asking if you followed Weightwatchers or Slimmer's World.

To be honest I haven’t experienced anything in your OP, who has been asking you? It sounds like multiple people? You clearly have been thinking about this a lot but what triggered it?

personally I have lost 15kg. No one has noticed so no one has asked how I did it. It’s just circumstance I suppose - I was travelling a lot for work when I gained the weight so I wasn’t socialising much. So to people that I now see more frequently now I’m home, I look like I did before I gained the weight.

I also think there’s two sides of looking at this. It’s fine to not want to disclose personal information like finances or prescription medication. However I think it’s dodgy if you attribute significant weight loss to a cause that isn’t true eg fasting or something, as it sets unrealistic expectations for others who may be asking for advice as opposed to gossip

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest if I was asked any of those questions.

Same for me. If I think they would benefit from it and would stick it out and get through the side effects, I would tell them. If they don't need to lose much or any weight are are just being nosy, then no, I wouldn't tell them.

Sounds like you are a bit embarrassed about having jabs. Must be the new question instead of 'have you had a gastric band?'.

Again i would think its rude.
but i have lost 27.5kg through diet and exercise- and my personal trainer costs more than the drug. But u have done it in 5 months and have the same again to lose.... but I look so much better and have lost 3 dress sizes....
There is someone at work who has lost the same at me in the same time- she has been on a 400calorie diet for 3 months and then a gastric surgery....
Often I think medical management would be easier- but I am enjoying the process (and now realising I need 2500 calories a day to be in a 500 calorie plus deficit and I am struggling to eat enough to lose more weight!!!

It's unbelievably rude. Have people literally asked you outright if you are using jabs? If so you need better people in your life.

A few people have asked me 'how have you done it?' which I think is right on the edge of acceptability, to be honest. Whilst I don't wish to generalise, my own personal experience has been that it's only been women aged about 50 plus who have asked this (along with 'how much have you lost?') and I think this is indicative of the 80s and 90s diet culture that has shaped their thinking. I dodge both questions as it's none of their business, and if they push it I semi-truthfully tell them that I am on the divorce diet, which generally shuts them up.