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Original poster

Is it worth it

36 replies

Chittychattymatty · 21/07/2025 03:07

Got engaged last summer. Now we are starting to plan it. Initially we wanted something small and intimate. However it seems the smaller the wedding the more expensive. Wanted to go aboard more bang for your buck, but a very close friend of the groom is doing that around the same time we wish to get married. So we
Found a venue that is balanced. Chapel on site it's beautiful. The cost per head is expensive but we can do it within our budget. However I am not enjoying the planning whatsoever, nor is my fiancé. Did anyone regret their wedding day. I love him and will be with him forever. He's my best friend. Family are not putting us under pressure but are excited to celebrate. Neither of us are traditional I just don't know what to do. 25k for one day? Any advice, experience opinions..

OP posts:
sleepandcoffee · 21/07/2025 03:23

I don’t believe its worth spending so much on the one day , many do and thats great for them but i wouldn't be able to spend a good chunk of a house deposit on what is essentially a party !

we had a ceremony with 30 people and then we to a beautiful restaurant that we had to ourselves for a meal . We skipped a big party and splurged on a fancy hotel for 2 nights which we went to straight after our meal . We spent around £4k on the day and have zero regrets , think outside the box and work out what parts of the day are important to you. .

Step5678 · 21/07/2025 03:31

Absolutely not worth it for one day, when neither of you are even particularly keen on the idea. You'd be spending the money just because you feel it's the done thing, that's a huge waste and could be money put to your future unless you have piles of money to burn.

Think about the guests you genuinely want there, the number may be relatively small. Then think about which bits of the day you want to include, and build your plan around that

Doppe · 21/07/2025 03:32

We did our wedding as cheap as possible, it still cost over £3000. When I look back, most of the friends who came we don’t even see anymore! Waste of money and organising a DIY wedding was very stressful. I’m glad we married but I wish we’d just eloped or at most, done registry office then a meal with close family only.

BooneyBeautiful · 21/07/2025 03:47

DS and his fiancee plan to get married sometime, supposedly soon, and just want to go to the local registry office and ask a couple of strangers off the street to be witnesses. I am fully supportive of this. No point spending a huge amount of money on just one day.

Hoolihan · 21/07/2025 03:53

No it isn't worth it if its not really what you want. 25k is so much money.

RainbowBagels · 21/07/2025 04:07

I had a big wedding and a small wedding ( long story, same DH). The small one was meant to be just the legalities with close family and friends. The big one the proper traditional one. The smaller one was definitely the better of the two. I regret the second one. Waste of time, not enjoyable.

SpinachSpinachMoreSpinach · 21/07/2025 04:13

Madness!

We eloped and never regretted it. The 2 of us and 2 close relatives as witnesses at a register office, followed by a session at a photographer’s and a lovely dinner.

This was nearly 50 years ago and we’re still married.

Painrelief · 21/07/2025 05:05

What is the point of spending all that money just to basically feed and entertain everyone else . If you don’t want to spend loads of money , then don’t . Get a dress off Shein , find a nice small location and do it your way . You don’t have to just get married in the way other people expect you too . It IS allowed for you to make yourselves happy and I think you probably will be happier if you ain’t starting your married life off in £20k of debt or minus £20k from your savings .

I personally couldn’t cope with the attention of a big or expensive wedding and I find a small wedding more intimate .

doglover90 · 21/07/2025 08:16

I think there is a middle ground. My husband and I spent under £15k for our wedding and we got exclusive use of a country house, hot food, drinks etc for 75 guests. No doubt we could have done it for less but we didn't want to DIY it. £25k is a lot for something you're not excited about.

Paradoes · 21/07/2025 08:21

I had the big wedding. But no way would I again. You could book a church / registry and a lovely restaurant for your family. Keep it all quiet until its done and just announce it

needtostopnamechanging · 21/07/2025 08:24

25k for one day? Madness unless you are rolling in it

the memories of my wedding are seeing the new DH cross the dance floor for me - one guy disco as that made the party - and sitting at home at 3am on the floor just thinking wow we did it

pretty sure you could do it for less than half that and still end up married and happy

inflation adjusted ours was under 7k with 80 people and a good bunch of mates to help with some cleaning up of the hall

ShesTheAlbatross · 21/07/2025 08:32

It’s worth it if you think it’s worth it.

Hell would freeze over before I spent close to £25k on a wedding. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s a waste of money for someone else who absolutely loved it and never regretted it.

My wedding was about £2k. But it was small, and some people would regret doing something small.

brunettenorthern91 · 21/07/2025 08:34

We LOVED our wedding and it was on appearances very expensive, very generous to guests (food/drinks) and had live singers from start to finish plus a DJ. We did videographer and photographer, had fresh flowers, our name in lights, a balloon hoop etc. We bought groomsmen’s suits and bridesmaids dresses (but sensible numbers of 5 in total across both sides!) But we didn’t waste money on: wedding favours, elaborate gifts for the bridal party (I’ve been one, there is no need!) random entertainment like a magician, sweet carts, popcorn stands or extras that weren’t needed; Etsy versions of things - you can make table plans, welcome signs, menu cards etc on vista print for £130, you don’t need to pay Etsy £500 to do the same!; I wrote place cards out myself buying them from Amazon in good quality card for about £8; we did buy extra drinks for cocktail hours/evenings etc and were generous with extra canapés and upgraded courses. You don’t need a summer wedding date (saves £5-7K!) as look at this week - it may very likely rain and you’ve paid a premium! You don’t HAVE to have every child in your family in the ceremony and if they are, ask your parents or their parents to pay for outfits, just find reasonably priced ones. Unless your wedding is ruined without them eg it’s your dream, no you don’t need £300 wedding shoes. No you don’t need a change of outfit for a £300 designer mini dress - your wedding dress will be stunning - just stay in it! Also unless you get them gifted - next do a lovely bridal range for earrings, head bands and accessories - it doesn’t need to be real diamonds unless a gift for you (I say this as someone with a very very expensive engagement ring!)

I’d suggest looking at if your chosen venue does deals on weddings within the next 6-12 months and go for it. Or save up and then look to book your wedding in six months within that time frame. My cousin did 6 months notice, I did, my best friend just announced she’s getting married in December - it doesn’t inconvenience anyone and just makes you more focused on budget.

we only spend £15K ish purely due to stupidly offering to subsidise rooms as they were quite expensive and we paid for the bridal cottage the night before - so about £2-3K done on just accommodation, mainly for other people!

Poopeepoopee · 21/07/2025 08:35

Would a smaller, cheaper wedding be an option?

SweetFancyMoses · 21/07/2025 08:38

I think it’s a monumental waste of money. My husband and I went to Barbados to get married, just the 2 of us.

We have sat through dozens of identikit weddings, which if I’m honest, I find a complete bore. We’ve never once regretted the way we did it.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 21/07/2025 08:47

We went on a package holiday to Florida, rolled up to the Orange County Court House, first in queue, paid 50 dollars, and job done. No guests, only our parents knew. We really didn't want a wedding production, just to be married. 21 years of marriage, 28 years together. Do what brings you joy, and we had little money and a mortgage, so we chose to focus on not getting into debt for a party. Everyone is different, but weddings seem more about outward show than the couple these days imo.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 21/07/2025 08:50

Go and get married and arrange a party after. Pay £20k off your mortgage.

doglover90 · 21/07/2025 08:53

Some of these comments are extremely judgy...Just because you think it's madness or a total waste of money doesn't mean that you should sneer at those who do spend more on weddings. The OP wasn't asking for moral judgement.

Biids · 21/07/2025 08:54

Get yourselves to the register office. My wedding cost about £37, parents and siblings only, wore clothes we already owned (it was 25 years ago). No regrets whatsoever. We didn't have any money at the time anyway, but even if we'd had money, it would have been such a waste.

Growlybear83 · 21/07/2025 08:55

I couldn’t bring myself to spend thst sort of money on a wedding, even more so if it’s not what you really want. We had a DIY wedding - the landlord of our local pub let us use his function room and gave us a barrel of beer as a wedding present, our mothers bought and prepared all the food, my brother paid for wine and fruit juice, and I bought a lovely purple dress from the local Indian clothing shop. A friend had a big white American limousine which took us to the register office and back to the pub, and my husband and I prepared several hours of our favourite music for the reception. It was a long time ago now but the whole day cost well under £500 and it was by far the best wedding I’ve ever been to, I think you could easily do something similar now for under £2000.

shellyleppard · 21/07/2025 08:56

Register office with just immediate family then a big party after. . I couldn't jusify paying £25,000 just for one day. If you really love each other that should be enough

2chocolateoranges · 21/07/2025 08:56

Was just speaking to my dd about weddings yesterday and I said remember 25k is a huge amount of money towards a deposit rather than spending it on one day of a wedding.

and she agreed,, so we will see in the future what happens!

Aozora13 · 21/07/2025 09:18

I had quite a big wedding - not £25K big but beautiful venue, sit down meal for 80 plus all the usual wedding things and a few things specific to us. We both love weddings, and ours was just what we wanted it to be. We had a package so minimal organising required, and did some stuff DIY. Sure we could have done something smaller and cheaper but for me it was such a special day and so “us” it was worth every penny.

What aspects of planning are you not enjoying, and what do you actually want your wedding to be like? If you don’t want to do something traditional, you could get married in a registry office and do whatever you want for the reception.

Liondoesntsleepatnight · 21/07/2025 10:15

We had a big wedding, cost about £22k zero regrets. It was one of the last big happy events that brought the families together before we started meeting only for funerals.

photos on our walls make me smile still.

weddinghelp2026 · 21/07/2025 11:52

There is no need to spend that much- I'm planning my second wedding, the first cost about £10k 15 years ago and because it didn't work out I still regret spending that much!

Now this wedding is looking to come in under £5k for the whole thing for 100 people. If you don't want to spend that much, you don't have to.