Parents or not?

[Yummymummy456]

I am getting married soon and was planning on having a very small wedding of Bride, Groom and 2 kids. This is what me and my finance have always said we would do, as we don’t want a fuss, hate being centre of attention and also didn’t want to spend a fortune. We both love our parents but if we invited them I would then feel guilty on siblings not being invited, so we decided not to.
Now I am feeling maybes I should have invited parents, as they are my mam and dad. Has anyone else got married without parents there, and regretted it? I really don’t know what to do!
I have asked my parents if they would be bothered if we did it without them, and they said no, just do what we want to do. But then are they telling me the truth!

If you love your parents and get on with them I think they should definitely be there. They are the people who you have the longest relationship with and the only people who will love you unconditionally.
Who will be your witnesses? Are your children old enough ?

How would you be the centre of attention with just your parents and siblings? I kind of understand it in a room full of people but with your own family it
seems very odd.

I’d be devastated if my child got married and I wasn’t invited.

I think i would be ok with my Dds doing this, i have 1 married Dd the wedding was lovely but if any of them decided they wanted to do it just themselves I would be happy for them.

You and your Dp should just do it you can maybe have a meal with your extended family to celebrate later on.

We had parents (mine, his have passed away) children, siblings plus their children and a couple of close friends, hired the room above our local (quite posh) pub, 3 course dinner and a local musician, all in including bar in was £4K for 30 people, definitely much bigger than you are planning but still was incredibly manageable and nobody felt left out (except a friend from way back dh hasn’t seen in 15 years said he was disappointed not to be invited, go figure!) Being only our closest family and friends meant i wasn’t concerned about being the centre of attention because we don’t stand on ceremony

We were the same as you. Didn’t want a ‘traditional’ wedding, just wanted the paperwork and as little expenditure as possible. We don’t do PDA/drink/like parties/want to bring two groups of disparate people together and act as intermediaries and I have some serious health issues.

We had 2 local friends to witness it (as you say, if you invite parents and not siblings it would have spiralled into more attendees because you can’t take 2 and not all etc.).

Depending on the age of your children, they may be able to act as witnesses- we were told there is no age requirement, it’s an understanding requirement but recommended over 18s.
We took a few photos then headed home, got changed into comfy clothes and had some lunch at home. Was all over (including driving there and back) in an hour.

Have the day that you want. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Only one person has reacted negatively, and they would have kicked off whether we did we wanted or had a whole day catered to their expectations so at least we had the experience we wanted.

I think some people project a lot of feelings towards anything wedding related and forget that all that matters really is the couple getting married and the marriage that follows. It’s your wedding, do what you want.

If people want to do something specific, they can do it at their own wedding.