Mum as bridesmaid?

[OhSoAsd]

I’m getting married soon, I don’t have that close group of friends. Or even a friend that I’d consider asking to be a bridesmaid as I’m always the “last resort” friend.
my brother got married and she didn’t have much involvement, my sister married in secret in vegas so she never got to experience that either.
would it be weird, questioned or just odd to have my mum as a bridesmaid?

Traditonally bridesmaids are supposed to be unmarried "maiden" (ie young women) but who cares about that? I think it would be lovely to have your mum. I didn't get married for the first time until I was 52 and had my sister as a bridesmaid who was definitely neither unmarried nor a maiden.

I think it’s a bit naff to be honest.

What kind of wedding is it? Small and intimate?

I saw on social media that someone has their elderly grandmother as a bridesmaid, and I thought it was very sweet actually.

Do you have any little ones in your life you can ask? It used to be the case bridesmaids were mostly kids, unless you had a sister - having multiple adult friends is a modern thing.

Your mum’s role is Mother of the Bride which is a lovely role which she’s missed out on twice before. I’d let her crack on with enjoying that and look elsewhere for an
bridesmaid(s)

I asked my sister about her two children and she said no because one would be too shy. And she’s the type of mum “if one can’t do, then neither can the other”

What a lovely and heartwarming post.

You could merge some of the mother of the bride responsibilities with bridesmaid ones, and create a unique role for your beloved Mum.

Could she go with you to church/venue, then walk with you up the aisle (with your Dad?), and take your bouquet from you when you hand it over for the service? Then act as witness for the marriage certificate, and also say a few words at the wedding breakfast? Or could she do a reading?

Then maybe you don’t need a separate bridesmaid, if you don’t have anyone to ask.

Mother of the bride always seemed to be a passive role, compared to the father. Maybe some ideas to involve her more here.

I would do this just let her be MoB

you don't need a "team of bridesmaids"

You must have someoneyou can ask?.

A lovely role which involves her doing practically nothing other than having the title?

What kind of wedding are you having op?

Thank you for this, there’s some really good ideas here 🥰 I didn’t want her just having the title and doing nothing as other than obviously being there, she doesn’t have any select things to do! X

Recently a friend of mine had her mom as maid of honour, I thought it was lovely and very fitting. They have a very tight bond so it made sense.

it’s your wedding do what you like!

I think it's a lovely idea.

Have you ran it by your mum ? You could have her be your witness if she doesn't want to be bridesmaid. Fwiw I wouldn't want to be bridesmaid for my Dd it would feel weird.

I saw a tiktok where a bride had her grandma as her bridesmaid! It was one of the loveliest tiktoks I've seen. Her grandma was beaming from ear to ear and absolutely glowing. She had quite a few bridesmaids in pale pink, but her grandma and also her maid of honour (possibly sister) wore the same princess style dresses but in a deeper pink. Everyone commented on how lovely it was for her to be a bridesmaid. Sadly my Mum passed away recently but if I was getting married now, and my Mum was alive I'd absolutely do it. Throw the rule book away.

“Throw the rule book away” - I love this story, and the concept!

I think that's lovely op. It's your wedding you can have who you want as a bridesmaid 😊

Maybe ask people who you would invite what they think so you can make sure you dont invite them if they think it's weird. They wouldnt be my sort of people anyway so i certainly wouldnt want them there on such a special day

What would you be asking her to do as your bridesmaid that you can’t as your mother? I can’t think of anything?! Your mother can have as much involvement as you want, you don’t need to put a label on it which could potentially embarrass her (if she feels too old to be a bridesmaid, or wants to relish being mother of the bride). I felt too old to be a bridesmaid at 30! You don’t need to have bridesmaids at all.

Yes it's true if you actually stop and think about it. It also showed footage of the wedding morning; all bridesmaids getting ready in matching satin pyjamas drinking a glass of champagne. Someone commented that the bride had given her grandma an opportunity to be a young girl again which was so touching.

As soon as I read this, I thought, "How lovely"! Personally, I would just have your mum and no one else and just make it a special role. You could call it 'mother of the bride' or 'matron of honour' rather than 'bridesmaid' on the programme, but give her some actual jobs eg. Making a speech, walking you up the aisle with Dad as a PP mentioned, even organise a small hen like afternoon tea or something. I think it would be really beautiful. Why is it only the bride's Dad who gets to walk down the aisle and make a speech? Surely we're beyond that in this day and age. I'm not sure what PP's think the MoB role is aside from standing in some pics. She's basically just the wife of the father of the bride and has no role as such.

Exactly that, it’s just a title for her with no actual role or things to do! We’re already non traditional for the fact we’re both females. But both will be in dresses with our dads walking us down. I want her to be more than just pictures. Have actual involvement. And with having no one else, I’m not sure who to ask. PP said there must be someone I could ask. Yes there is, but it would hold no meaning whatsoever to me to have someone for the sake of it x

It’s your wedding - do whatever you want.

I think it’s a lovely idea! You should do what you want at your wedding anyway. I (female) was ‘best man’ for my Dad when he remarried. It was a great experience as we’re so close.

I didn’t have any bridesmaids. Similarly to you, I didn’t have a friend I felt I was that close to. To be honest I’m glad I didn’t looking back, it was easier. And cheaper 🤣

It’s your day, you do it however you wish imo. Congratulations x