Mum as bridesmaid?

[OhSoAsd]

I’m getting married soon, I don’t have that close group of friends. Or even a friend that I’d consider asking to be a bridesmaid as I’m always the “last resort” friend.
my brother got married and she didn’t have much involvement, my sister married in secret in vegas so she never got to experience that either.
would it be weird, questioned or just odd to have my mum as a bridesmaid?

It's fine, just don't call her a "bridesmaid" and put her in a frily pastel frock! But she can certainly be your witness (which is the essential bit) and "best woman" and dress in something appropriate for a mature woman.

I don't think I'd refer to her as a "bridesmaid" but creating a "Mother of the Bride" or a "Best Mum" role for her sounds great. She can do a speech, a dance, hand over the rings, make a toast, get ready with you beforehand, whatever you and she want to do. She can wear a bridesmaid-y dress or a Mother of the bride dress or whatever you both are comfortable with her in.

What about your sister?

I think it’s weird. I’d rather have just one good friend or a little niece or something. Having your mum highlights ‘I’m socially awkward with no friends’ in a really obvious way

Do whatever you like. The rules are such nonsense and people describing a loving gesture as “naff” just tells you about their relationship with their own mum. Have a wonderful day with the people you love the way you want to do it.

Mother of the Bride is second most important person at the wedding ( bride is obviously the first)
She gets to ware a fab dress and hat.
unless you know some little kids who want the job , I’d just pass.

I think you’d be taking away her role as MOTB if you did that.
Remember that the role of bridesmaid (and best man) has spun out of the need for two witnesses. Do you and your fiancé have a couple who could take on the role of witnesses? They don’t need to be in bridal party outfits or part of the group coming down the aisle, just wedding guests.

She really isn't. As a mother of the bride I had no role whatsoever. Yes, I wore a nice dress, but I didn't feature in any way (which was fine, but it's bizarre that you think the MotB does).

Bride, groom, MoH/bridesmaids and the father all have roles at the ceremony. The mum just enters the venue like all the other guests, and nothing significant happens apart from her sitting on the front row.

@OhSoAsd why not have both your mum and dad walk you up the aisle? I think that would be lovely. The father thing is so outdated now.

My friends daughter had her as the maid of honour because they are very close. The mum wore a trousers suit with a slight sparkle in it.. very classy. She had her friends as bridesmaids.

She can walk down the aisle, make a speech, help plan stuff…. Everything a bridesmaid does but she does it as mother of the bride

What a lovely idea. I’m sure your mum would be delighted x

You don't have to have any bridesmaids. In your situation I would just make sure you find some clear roles for your mum to play in the service/reception eg witness, hold your bouquet, make a speech etc.

My DH didn't have anyone he wanted to be best man, and we were having a small ceremony and agreed all along only to have the traditional bits we wanted. In the end he asked his dad to do rings, and looking back I'm glad he did. We didn't call him best man but he basically fulfilled the role (although our sisters signed the register and he didn't want to hate a speech - we gave him the option if he wanted), but he did pre wedding support and rings.

So I'd say go for giving your mum whatever role you want, as long as she is comfortable. Or don't worry if you have no bridesmaids at all, it's not a crucial role and who cares what anyone else thinks is traditional.

Go for it. Your mum will be delighted.
Did you ever see that picture of a bride who had her granny as bridesmaid. My daughter said if she gets married she wants me to give her away( dad had affair and went abroad so I did all childcare from 12) and her granny as bridesmaid as she has never been on.
It's your wedding do what you like

I think it's lovely - if it's what you and your HTB (and your mum) want then go for it.

I missed this in my first reply. Does you wife to be have her mother there too? will she have bridesmaids? That's the only possible problem I can see - will her mother be put out to be the only parent without a role? Less of an issue with bride and groom as the grooms parents always have less role than bride's, but if you are being fairly symmetrical in dads giving away and dresses, do you need to think about that?

I got married in church, I didn't have any bridesmaids 🤷🏻‍♀️

You don’t actually need any bridesmaids…

I think it's weird.
I have adult dc and would think it very odd if any of them asked me to be a 'bridesmaid' and I would say no.
I already have a role - it is 'MoB'.

Your Mum can still help you get ready. She can be a witness. If you want she can do a reading. She can walk you down the aisle. she can make a speech.

But it would be very odd to call her a bridesmaid.

That’s okay! I can barely keep up myself! Wife to be will have her mum and dad also, however, we aren’t sure IF her mum will make it. She’s very poorly and relies on oxygen etc. her parents are also separated which is making the top table even more difficult 🤦🏽‍♀️ it’s definitely something I’m going to have a good think over and take on board others advice! Although I don’t know why I’m being called “socially awkward” just because I don’t have a group of die hard friends haha!

Absolutely no need to call you socially awkward I agree! Lots of people don't have that one die hard friend, as I said above my DH didn't. It's much better to be confident to do your wedding differently in the way that suits you than to ask some randoms to be bridesmaids just for tradition / appearance! And there is nothing a bridesmaid does that a mother couldn't do (and often do better from a practical and emotional point of view).

I think the pp who you have replied to suggested something so lovely especially as your mum didn't have much involvement with your siblings weddings so I'm definately with the pp on her also giving you away. You don't need to have bridesmaids.
Are you having a registry office or church wedding?
The idea of all eyes on us is both mine and dh's is a of utter hell so we had a two witness service. None of his lot wanted travel up and do that duty so my mum and sister did it. My lo has multiple additional needs and wouldn't have stayed quiet for longer than 3 seconds if he was there so my brother amused him outside for us and then the registrar kindly checked the next party were good waiting an extra few minutes before telling my brother and lo to come in for pictures

Can she give you away? Or what about Maid of Honour role?

Just a thought, but if you'd like to have your nieces, how about calling them both bridesmaids and getting them pretty matching dresses, even if they don't necessarily walk down the aisle or do anything in the public eye? You (and importantly, they) will still have some lovely photos and memories (plus you never know, even the shiest bridesmaid might end up walking down the aisle holding (for e.g.) your mothers hand on the day). Almost every little girl loves to dress up like a princess!

I don't see why you can't have your mother as a bridesmaid (it's your wedding!). It could be a sort of hybrid "mother of the bride" role with a fabulous dress.

What about your sister for MOH OP?