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Original poster

Embarrassed I have nobody to invite to my wedding

47 replies

Lonelybride2be · 12/05/2025 11:58

My partner and I have been engaged just over 2 years now. He is keen to marry next year, and I would really like to marry him but I keep stalling on starting to plan and I'm embarrassed to tell him why.
It's because I don't have many friends. I only have 2 proper friends. These two don't know each other. And a few others who I get along with but only see/talk to when I'm with either of the original two. DP clearly knows this as I rarely go out or see people, but it's never been mentioned out loud if you know what I mean. He has a good group of friends he's known since school days.
So I've got barely anybody to invite to a wedding, no girlfriends to ask to be bridesmaids, no group to have a hen party with. Who would I get ready with on the day?
Deep down I'm a bit sad about it all I suppose, but I realise that most of all I'm embarrassed. I don't know if I can cope with all our family and his friends gather together and it being so obvious that I have next to no friends there.

Can anybody relate or offer any reassurance? I really do want to get married and I suppose I just have to suck it up. After all, the most important person will be there

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 12/05/2025 12:02

Elope? It have a micro wedding. Big weddings aren’t for everyone. And the marriage itself self is more important.

Hadalifeonce · 12/05/2025 12:02

A wedding is about the bride and groom, not who is there to watch them. Plenty of people get married in front of 2 strangers they have asked to act as witnesses. We were a total of 11 people at our wedding. The vows you make to each other are what counts. Is your DP happy to have a small wedding?

Ygfrhj · 12/05/2025 12:03

Just have a small wedding? Similar situation here, partly to blame on a job that requires relocating every couple of years. We just invited our parents and siblings to a registry office ceremony followed by dinner in the private room of a nice restaurant.

SalmonWellington · 12/05/2025 12:04

Second what pp have said. Have a tiny wedding and use the money on a holiday.

3678194b · 12/05/2025 12:07

The actual day itself is overrated. Something you only realise in retrospect.

Afterall, all you really need is 2 witness. Often weddings are about other people and making sure they enjoy your wedding. A very small wedding could be just to please yourselves.

throwawaynametoday · 12/05/2025 12:09

I can definitely relate OP. DH had a group of uni mates he could have invited to a wedding (although he wasn't super close to then, but they had that easy male group thing going on) and I didn't. It would have been really embarrassing to ask anyone to be a bridesmaid because they would have thought wtf, I barely know you!

We had a lovely small wedding with just family. And I'm pleased to say that 20 years later I have some lovely close friends who I could absolutely do the whole wedding thing with if I ever need a second wedding!!

SnippitySnappitySnop · 12/05/2025 12:09

Just elope, you'll need 2 people as witnesses and you can invite a small amount of people. You could introduce your friends as you announce your wedding date and invite them or something. I think your partner knows of the reality of your social circle by now. For what it's worth, big weddings are NOT necessarily full of loving guests, often you are paying to feed literal haters that you were pressured to invite. Elopement and small weddings can be romantic. Change the narrative in your head, the actual marriage contract is what matters. Get a gorgeous ring with all that savings or a nice honeymoon or something more worthwhile than inviting randoms to make up the numbers who will probably just get drunk and gossip about you in your own wedding 😂

Cluelessmam · 12/05/2025 12:11

We were similar and just had family and family friends (not many) at our small wedding. I had one bridesmaid and no hen do. I got ready with my bridesmaid and my mum. My cousin also joined us and that’s now one of my fondest memories as she has since passed away so I treasure that morning. Small weddings are just fine, much cheaper and it’s about the quality of the marriage anyway rather than the wedding itself so just do what makes you both happy and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 12/05/2025 12:15

Marry aboard - and invite very few or do very small wedding in UK citing costs.

MeMyselfandMN · 12/05/2025 12:15

Even if you don't want to elope (it's not for everyone, although we did it and we both loved our marriage ceremony and wedding day) you can still make a very small wedding really lovely and special. There aren't really (m)any rules.

Original poster
Lonelybride2be · 12/05/2025 12:18

It won't be a big wedding for sure, and the guest list on both sides would be majority family. We discussed eloping but we would like to celebrate in some way with family/friends.

It purely is the fact I would have 2 other guest and he'd have a lot more.
I'm wondering if we do the legal ceremony just us, then have a casual party in the evening for everyone to celebrate. Village hall, buffet, simple.
I know all that matters is us as the bride and groom, and committing to each other. I guess I'm just envious of others and a little sad it won't be what I perhaps would have truly chosen. I'm just having a little moan I suppose

OP posts:
PeggyMitchellsCameo · 12/05/2025 12:21

There are so many threads on here right now with nightmare weddings. Bridezillas on the rampage, in laws at war, costly hen parties abroad, friends falling out.
I think two friends, a bride and groom, some family and a few of his friends sounds like paradise to me.
Celebrate your love for each other and the people you love. Don’t worry about anything else.

MeganM3 · 12/05/2025 12:25

Could your two friends be your bridesmaids and get ready with you on the day? You could invite a couple of the acquaintance/friends to the wedding, people are usually pleased to get an invite and it might boost the friendship.
No need for a hen. Unless you want one.

Enrichetta · 12/05/2025 12:27

I'm wondering if we do the legal ceremony just us, then have a casual party in the evening for everyone to celebrate. Village hall, buffet, simple.

Yes, do this. Much less stress - especially for you! - and you’ll save a ton of money. Probably will be a lot more fun too.

Focusing on the marriage rather than the wedding is usually a smart move.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 12/05/2025 12:33

I got married a few weeks ago. We had a very small wedding and only 1 person attended from my husband’s side (his mum). I only had a handful of people from my side too. It was a lovely, intimate ceremony with only people that were very close to us. I only have one friend and she decided the week before the wedding not to come 😕

My first wedding was abroad and we found witnesses there. This was due to my ex having a huge family and me only having a few people to invite. It worked well but his family still caused issues as they circulated the lie that the witnesses were actually my family members and we’d snubbed all my ex’s family 🙄

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 12/05/2025 12:33

No one will know who's guest are yours and who's are your husbands. Not that it matters.
Have a lovely small wedding. Hen Do's are awful. Save your money and go on an amazing honeymoon.

IlovethedramaMick · 12/05/2025 12:35

How well do you get on with your mum and MIL to be - could they join you? Do you have a sister or female cousins? Or DH’s sister if he has one and you get on? Could they join with your friends to get ready on the day?

On the day no-one is going to be weighing up how many guests are from your side and how many from the groom’s. I used to work in hospitality and you see every combination from no bridesmaids to 15, everyone does what works for them.

GlidingSquirrels · 12/05/2025 12:37

Do you have family? If so everyone will just blend in. Could you ask a cousin of yours or sister of his to be bridesmaid?
A hen do isn't essential unless you'd enjoy it!
The other option is just picking 2 witnesses and eloping. Would save wasting a lot of money. Unless you enjoy parties there's no reason to do a big wedding.

ThereWillBeSigns · 12/05/2025 12:38

Your solution sounds good OP.

I was in a similar situation and I really really wish we'd eloped. I still feel a bit shit about my wedding day - weirdly it was all about other people, including DH. One of my lottery dreams is setting up a really tiny wedding venue with rooms!

Cuppachuchu · 12/05/2025 12:38

My only advice is, have the day as you choose, don't make choices to please others.
A lot of the trimmings are expensive and they're not what is important.

mondaytosunday · 12/05/2025 12:42

You don’t need bridesmaids or a hen do. I didn’t. And my mother deserted me on the day (we got changed at the venue and she went out to mingle) so got dressed on my own!
But maybe a small wedding is the answer. My DH would have liked to have invited more people as he had loads of work friends (and political issues about if he invited that person he had to invite this other person) and I didn’t. But if I was to do it again I’d pare it right back- no need for ALL the cousins etc!
And it doesn’t latter really if he has more friends than you - no one is keeping tally (and no need for grooms side bride side at the church if you are having one).

NoctuaAthene · 12/05/2025 12:44

No need to elope or do a private ceremony only unless that is what you really want to do. Nothing wrong with either of those things of course but if you prefer a traditional ceremony with guests in attendance then there is absolutely no reason not to do it because you've 'only' got 2 friends in attendance - having two good close friends is a wonderful thing and nothing to be ashamed of, many many people don't have even one people they can truly rely on even if they are surrounded by acquaintances and false friends.

Also the thing about the disparity with your DH is mostly in your head, (a) surely his friends by now have become your friends too, that's normal with couples even if you originally met them through your DH (b) people are different, me and my DH are similar to you in that the majority of our close friendship group is his school friends, with me having only a couple of school/uni/work friends I'm close to, that's for a couple of reasons and absolutely not a moral judgment or because one of us is more likeable or a better person than the other, one is that he's naturally a bit more extroverted than me, I've always been more of a one on one socialiser, the other is that he grew up where we now live so it's naturally been more easy to stay in touch with a wider circle (c) no-one will notice or care or be keeping count at the wedding of whose friends are whose. It might be noticeable if there were no friends at all (although plenty of people do have family-only weddings) but no-one's going to be going 'oh Lonelybride looks so beautiful and happy but why's she only got 2 friends here'? I vote go ahead, have the wedding you want to have, celebrate with the people that are important to you and don't worry about making up numbers with people that aren't...

Mrsdyna · 12/05/2025 12:54

Just elope, it's nice to have family and friends there I agree but you'll spend the day feeling bad about yourself so you might as well make the day something you remember fondly.

CreationNat1on · 12/05/2025 12:56

Maldives