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Original poster

Embarrassed I have nobody to invite to my wedding

47 replies

Lonelybride2be · 12/05/2025 11:58

My partner and I have been engaged just over 2 years now. He is keen to marry next year, and I would really like to marry him but I keep stalling on starting to plan and I'm embarrassed to tell him why.
It's because I don't have many friends. I only have 2 proper friends. These two don't know each other. And a few others who I get along with but only see/talk to when I'm with either of the original two. DP clearly knows this as I rarely go out or see people, but it's never been mentioned out loud if you know what I mean. He has a good group of friends he's known since school days.
So I've got barely anybody to invite to a wedding, no girlfriends to ask to be bridesmaids, no group to have a hen party with. Who would I get ready with on the day?
Deep down I'm a bit sad about it all I suppose, but I realise that most of all I'm embarrassed. I don't know if I can cope with all our family and his friends gather together and it being so obvious that I have next to no friends there.

Can anybody relate or offer any reassurance? I really do want to get married and I suppose I just have to suck it up. After all, the most important person will be there

OP posts:

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 12/05/2025 12:59

I was in a similar situation and I really really wish we'd eloped.

We weren't up for eloping but a wedding package abroad which we got talked out of I think would have been nicer and we'd had had the same very close family guest list.

It did feel like DH and I just weren't the focus on day- and things we'd have liked we were talked out of and family drama still happened.

DH cousin did get married abroad - immediate family flew out - two weeks later they did a big party/reception for wider family and friends in local club venue - food drinks dancing. Went over well with everyone.

Unbeleevable · 12/05/2025 13:01

I went to a beautiful wedding for my brother in law, he had two friends there and his wife’s enormous Polish family, it was absolutely lovely.

Honestly no one batted an eyelid that there weren’t many friends of the groom there. He’s a lovely guy, just not massively gregarious, I’m only remembering it now because I was thinking about the “mix” at weddings I’ve been to recently.

If you want to get married , be open with your dp and let him help you come up with a solution.

And don’t put it off. My dad died six months after my wedding, I’m so grateful I didn’t wait.

FishDancer · 12/05/2025 13:01

Well, if you'd like more friends, it's absolutely possible to address why you find yourself so friendless, put yourself out there and start making new ones. The wedding is a separate issue. Up to you both to decide between just doing it with two witnesses (we have lots of friends and family, but we just got married very casually with witnesses) and sucking up the guest imbalance between you because you'd like to be married with your nearest and dearest around. No need for bridesmaids or a hen do if you don't want them or have anyone to invite to them,

Sheepsheeps · 12/05/2025 13:04

Honestly, if I could have my wedding all over again, I would just go abroad with my husband and have the most fantastic holiday ever! It literally is the biggest waste of money ever and I do regret wasting all that money on what is effectively a big party. We did the classic, invite people so as to not offend etc. I chose family as my bridal party to 'keep the peace' and they deliberately tried to ruin our big day.....
TBH I could count on one hand all the people I actually cared about being there to celebrate our big day with us. The rest were just headcounts iyswim.
I really do wish I'd listened to my friends who all eloped and said it was the best decision ever!
Even if you do decide to have your dream wedding with very few guests on your side, nobody will be counting on the day I absolutely promise you! You also don't have to do traditional seating i.e. bride one side grooms family/friends etc the other.
Nobody but you will know and you will feel absolutely fabulous regardless!

VanCleefArpels · 12/05/2025 13:05

I didn’t have bridesmaids- adult bridesmaids give me the ick and no kids in the family at that time! My hen do was afternoon tea. I’d lean on your family and just focus on what it means to you to marry your chosen life partner. Everything else is just noise

HollyIvie · 12/05/2025 13:06

Why don't you go abroad to get married and have a small /party/celebration when you are back. Takes the stress out of it and if you have an informal party without a sit down meal no one will notice who of the guests are for the bride and who are for the groom.

Radionowhere · 12/05/2025 13:08

I felt exactly the same OP, no one that I really felt close enough to to ask to be a bridesmaid. I had my closest cousin and DH's sister, which pleased his mum.
In many ways I wish we hadn't gone for the traditional wedding, it was all too stressful and overwhelming to enjoy. We did it because we felt it was expected of us, a means to an end really, which isn't how it should be. I had never been one to day dream about a fancy wedding, I don't like being the centre of attention! Something more informal would have been better, I think.

Sauvin · 12/05/2025 13:08

This isn’t meant to be a rude question but I’m wondering why you only have two friends? You don’t say how old you are but people collect friends through school, university, work and neighbourhoods. So why didn’t that happen for you?

I hope that’s not insulting but I’m curious and I also thought you might want to talk about it.

dogcatkitten · 12/05/2025 13:21

If you have only two friends to invite then he gets to invite two friends, then you have close family and that's it. Or you get to know his friends and he gets to know your friends and then they are all our friends. I guess when I got married our individual friends had become joint friends, I can't say I thought about it at the time, but I guess only one guest was positively my friend and even then my DH to be had got to know her quite well by then.

TheCosyRain · 12/05/2025 13:23

Having been to quite a few weddings since being engaged myself (and worrying about this myself as I only have 2 friends) have to say that as a guest I really paid no attention to this at all. Whose friends and family bride or groom.

When the time comes and we do get married I want to have my sister and 1 friend as bridesmaid. My hen do will be a spa day with my mum, sister, 2 friends and my sister in law.

LlynTegid · 12/05/2025 13:26

I like your idea of a simple ceremony and the party afterwards.

Dartmoorcheffy · 12/05/2025 13:27

As a wedding caterer and private chef I see wedding parties of all sizes. Its not at all unusual to see a wedding group made up of just the bride and groom and their parents, siblings and maybe a couple of friends having a really lovely meal at a luxurious air bnb.

Allseeingallknowing · 12/05/2025 13:29

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 12/05/2025 12:15

Marry aboard - and invite very few or do very small wedding in UK citing costs.

Marry on a cruise ship? Great idea!

3ormorecharacters · 12/05/2025 13:35

I was in a similar position. We had a small registry office wedding followed by a slightly larger reception. All quite low key and informal. I only had child bridesmaids. I have one close(ish) friend from school who was kind of an unofficial bridesmaid I guess - she stayed over with me the night before and helped me get ready. Didn't really do a hen party, just dinner and some drinks with that friend and my sister. Your wedding is your day - just do whatever makes you happy and try to forget what it "should" be like! Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter.

NoctuaAthene · 12/05/2025 13:46

Sorry meant to ask, if you'd like bridesmaids why can't you ask your two friends to be bridesmaids and get ready with you on the day? No problem that they don't know each other (I've been bridesmaid a few times and I've never known all the others, sometimes one or two, sometimes none at all) and you don't have to make them wear huge poofy frilly dresses or arrange a hen do in Marbella with L plates and strippers if that's not your/their style. Bridal parties come in all shapes and sizes these days, I've seen male friends be asked to play a bridesmaid-esque role, older/already married female friends or relatives (without the need for the rather battle-axey 'matron of honour' title), children of the bride/groom (including adult children of previous marriages as well as little ones) - basically now it's so much more the norm to get married at a much later stage in life no-one has the expectation it will be all a bevy of pretty young unmarried girlfriends or even just little children, it can be anyone or everyone who supports and is important to the bride in her 'party'...

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 12/05/2025 13:52

Allseeingallknowing · 12/05/2025 13:29

Marry on a cruise ship? Great idea!

Edited

Show quote history

😂

Apparently you can do that.

TBH wish I'd thought to look now as FIL has an adversion to cruise ships and it was IL insisting they'd stick us like glue 24/7 if we got married abroad that put DH and I off.

I was think more wedding packages to Malta or Caribbean, Greece. We really fancied Malta.

I think OP plan sounds nice though - small wedding and party in hall afterwards for wider group - been to a few like that and seems to work well.

Chicken5ausage · 12/05/2025 14:10

Half the people at my wedding (including 2 of the bridesmaids) I don’t even talk to any more let alone see! The other bridesmaid was my sister.

if I was getting married again (a lot older and wiser now) I’d have as few people as possible. If it was legally allowed to just be bride, groom and officiant I’d do that in all honesty.

cheaper, more personal, not about anybody else but you guys. Wonderful!

Nowheretobeseen · 12/05/2025 14:23

I was similar, had a couple of my family members come to our wedding and my bridal party consisted of DH family. He had loads of family and friends there. Tbh on the day I hardly even noticed, we were so busy and had a wonderful day. I hope you do too!

fiorentina · 12/05/2025 15:02

We had one friend and partner each, plus parent(s) and sibling in my case for the ceremony and meal after. Then a party a few weeks later with a wider guest list.

Lotsofthings · 12/05/2025 15:47

It will be fine, ask one or both of your friends to be bridesmaid or MOH. Get the ushers to alternate instructing guests to sit on the left and right hand side to even things up. People won’t notice, they will just be delighted to be at your wedding.

hhtddbkoygv · 12/05/2025 15:49

Oh OP. 😔 I empathise as I'm exactly the same (aa in don't have friends)
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.
Could you perhaps have a registry office type thing with a meal at a later date?

Maddy70 · 12/05/2025 16:07

When I got married I had loads of relatives and friends. My husband has two. Noone noticed or cared. We didn't so the traditional brides /grooms side in the church so it didn't look odd

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