My own wedding with a 4 month old

AdeptBalonz · 2025-02-23T10:13:26+00:00

Hello, we have just had the exciting news that we are expecting, in October 2025 but we are getting married in March 2026, has anyone got any advice on weddings with a 5 month old, or have been though similar experiences it would be greatly appreciated 😊

TinyMouseTheatre · 23/02/2025 10:50

Congratulations on your PG. my best advice would be to bring your Wedding forward so that you can enjoy it. Otherwise you'll be looking at having to either look after the baby yourself for list of the day or hire someone. I think that expecting close family to look after your LO would be unfair as they want to enjoy your day too.

Pixilicious1 · 23/02/2025 10:54

I would hope your mum or husband’s mum would look after the baby for you. Yes they want to enjoy the day but surely not at your expense? That’s what I would do with my GC anyway. My DIL’s wedding day is about her and my DS not me after all.

The only thing I would say is, if your BF-ing you’ll need to make sure you have somewhere you can nip off and do this and make sure your dress can accommodate that!

TinyMouseTheatre · 23/02/2025 11:00

Pixilicious1 · 23/02/2025 10:54

I would hope your mum or husband’s mum would look after the baby for you. Yes they want to enjoy the day but surely not at your expense? That’s what I would do with my GC anyway. My DIL’s wedding day is about her and my DS not me after all.

The only thing I would say is, if your BF-ing you’ll need to make sure you have somewhere you can nip off and do this and make sure your dress can accommodate that!

I agree that most DGMs woukd do this. I just don't think it should be factored into plans. Most DGMs are as selfless as you, sone aren't admittedly, but if the OP has the option to being the Wedding forward it would probably mean that she, her DM and her DMIL would be more free to enjoy the day.

The OP also doesn't know yet what the birth will be like or how the baby will be. My first was a crier who barely slept. I think if I'd had to arrange and attend a Wedding at that age, well it just wouldn't have happened. Other people have more straightforward births and easier babies though

BlueRaincoat1 · 23/02/2025 11:07

I did this! Our baby was 4.5 months old when we got married.

I paid someone to help out for the day, a lovely colleague (secretary) from work. I knew her but we weren't so close that she would have been otherwise invited. She kept an eye on the baby during the ceremony, and would have taken him for a little walk if he was fussing etc during it. Minded him during photos. Did his changes etc.

I was breastfeeding, but once I'd done the final feed for the evening, she sat with him in the hotel room, until my DH and I went to bed, and then we got her a taxi home. Worked really well.

BlueRaincoat1 · 23/02/2025 11:08

I wouldn't have wanted my parents or PIL to have to worry about the baby crying during the ceremony or changing nappies in their nice clothes etc.

TinyMouseTheatre · 23/02/2025 11:11

BlueRaincoat1 · 23/02/2025 11:08

I wouldn't have wanted my parents or PIL to have to worry about the baby crying during the ceremony or changing nappies in their nice clothes etc.

You've just brought back a memory of me struggling to get DC1 into town at this age only for them to do a poo so huge that I had to but myself a new top to wear...

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 23/02/2025 11:53

I'd bring it forward or postpone tbh. If you're BF it'll be a PITA and not what I'd want to do at my own wedding.

You might have a baby that sleeps anywhere or only in their own space (Dts were the latter).

Congratulations!

TinyMouseTheatre · 23/02/2025 12:00

You might have a baby that sleeps anywhere or only in their own space (Dts were the latter

DC1 would only sleep on me or occasionally DH at that age or would scream because,they were overtired. DC2 arrived and slept anywhere, like a little contented bundle.

Like I said before, it's a total lottery and you don't know what you'll get until they're here

scatters2004 · 23/02/2025 12:01

Yes you can do it!

We were married in February 1997 with a 5 month old and also 2 older ones from my prev relationship.
It was low-ish key, about 50 guests during the day and just a few more in the evening.
Our daughter is 28 now and she was totally oblivious to it all!
Enjoy yourselves and best wishes x

JazzQueen · 11/08/2025 22:42

Hello! I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say that I’m in exactly the same boat! Our first baby is due in Oct and our wedding is in March. We’ve decided we are going ahead because we know we will have the support of friends and family. I’m also considering hiring someone to help but I think we will wait to see how the baby is first and how we are coping. I have spoken to lots of people (with babies) to get an honest opinion and nobody has discouraged us from going ahead so I was surprised to see responses here suggesting you postpone. Personally I quite like the idea of a small baby being there and I know we will just make it work!
Wishing you the best of luck. Xx

Redburnett · 11/08/2025 22:44

Just have a small simple wedding before the baby arrives.

ThreenagerCentral · 11/08/2025 22:58

my son was 4 months old on the day of my sister’s wedding and I was a bridesmaid. I would not choose this for my own wedding! Honestly I was breastfeeding, sleep deprived and all I could think about was him. I couldn’t enjoy the day even though I had paid someone to look after him, and I felt hideous in my dress as I hadn’t become used to the changes in my body. I would honestly either bring it forward or put it off by a year if it were my wedding.

paddypaw · 12/08/2025 13:06

I found out I was expecting DD1 not long after we’d got engaged. We decided to put the wedding back a bit, so she was almost 6 months. In retrospect I sort of wish we’d brought it forward but not in a big way.

We had only planned a small wedding anyway so it wasn’t as difficult as it could have been but it did hit DD1’s separation anxiety, so she screamed whenever one of her parents wasn’t holding her… not ideal. Our vows were accompanied by the sound of my stepmother singing to her outside the church.

I stopped breastfeeding a few weeks beforehand (this in the days of earlier weaning) and as a result my dress was falling off me, particularly the top half. On the other hand, I was as far away from bridezilla as possible because compared to a traumatic birth and permanently unhappy baby, getting married really didn’t seem that complicated and the details of the wedding just not that important. Those that were there cite it still as one of the most relaxed weddings they’ve been to

CarpetKnees · 12/08/2025 23:38

JazzQueen · 11/08/2025 22:42

Hello! I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say that I’m in exactly the same boat! Our first baby is due in Oct and our wedding is in March. We’ve decided we are going ahead because we know we will have the support of friends and family. I’m also considering hiring someone to help but I think we will wait to see how the baby is first and how we are coping. I have spoken to lots of people (with babies) to get an honest opinion and nobody has discouraged us from going ahead so I was surprised to see responses here suggesting you postpone. Personally I quite like the idea of a small baby being there and I know we will just make it work!
Wishing you the best of luck. Xx

Personally I quite like the idea of a small baby being there and I know we will just make it work!

This is your first baby I presume ?

JazzQueen · 13/08/2025 06:21

CarpetKnees · 12/08/2025 23:38

Personally I quite like the idea of a small baby being there and I know we will just make it work!

This is your first baby I presume ?

Show quote history

Yes as I mentioned in the post.

RhododendronFlowers · 13/08/2025 22:59

I'm going to agree with pp. Bring the wedding forward, and have a more modest event. You have no idea what the birth will be like, what your baby will be like, or how you will feel. It could all be great, but there are a lot of variables.

ninjahamster · 13/08/2025 23:01

Our first child was 5 months when we got married. It was lovely. My SIL had her for the ceremony. Then at the reception there was no shortage of people wanting to look after her!

WhichPage · 13/08/2025 23:05

Is it a big wedding?

Less the day being an issue but the last few weeks organising before a wedding can be hectic and stressful if there is unexpected problem solving, issues with dress fittings etc.which can be hard if baby is fussy.

Bringing it forward is quite a nice idea

cannynotsay · 23/08/2025 06:55

I’m gonna tell you the truth no. Postpone the wedding. Honestly it’s gonna be tough, the 4 months sleep regression would hit around then. You never know what type of birth you will have and how it will go, and being first time parents is such a tough gig. You could have a clingy baby that just wants you. If you’re nursing the baby will probs be off and on you all day! It’s so much pressure to put on yourself xx

LegoHouse274 · 23/08/2025 06:59

My sibling got married recently and their baby was 8mo. Literally everyone told them to bring the wedding forwards and they refused. At first they were saying relatives would care for the baby all day, everyone made it clear that wasn't possible! We then all suggested if the were adamant about doing it with baby they would need to pay someone to care for baby. Luckily I had a good frecommendation from a friend who id also witnessed at their wedding. She was fantStic and their baby was always an easy baby so it did work out. But it did feel slightly awkward having a stranger there all day and honestly my sibling and her partner spent very little time with their child for the entire day. There was also even with this easy baby a fair bit of crying and the nanny having to take baby way out of sight of everyone because baby otherwise was crying wanting their parents who wanted to take photos or socialise or do whatever else without a baby vomiting or pooping or drooling on them. I found it quite sad tbh. My own babies at that age would have been much harder work than this one too and two of them were sleeping horrendously at 4 months old.

Also if you're planning to breastfeed that would be a nightmare at 4mo. Two of my children were breastfed at that age and would feed about 12 times a day often for extended periods. One of them also wouldn't take a bottle or dummy. It's really not something I'd do.

Jk987 · 23/08/2025 07:06

Try and finalise the wedding details before baby arrives. Decide on the dress, menus, drinks, timings, everything! You won’t have the energy when baby is here.

Toddlergirly · 23/08/2025 07:14

JazzQueen · 11/08/2025 22:42

Hello! I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say that I’m in exactly the same boat! Our first baby is due in Oct and our wedding is in March. We’ve decided we are going ahead because we know we will have the support of friends and family. I’m also considering hiring someone to help but I think we will wait to see how the baby is first and how we are coping. I have spoken to lots of people (with babies) to get an honest opinion and nobody has discouraged us from going ahead so I was surprised to see responses here suggesting you postpone. Personally I quite like the idea of a small baby being there and I know we will just make it work!
Wishing you the best of luck. Xx

Whoever watches your baby won’t be able to enjoy the wedding. If you’re breast feeding then how will you manage? If you’re formula feeding then you’ll need the bulky equipment and tub of formula. Would the baby be at the reception until the early hours? Will baby sleep with you that night? Most 4 month olds do not sleep through and need regular feeding.

Bananacherry · 23/08/2025 07:16

Congratulations!
it’s difficult to know how it will go. I took my 4 month old to a wedding of a close friend where my husband was best man and other child page boy. It was great, he was an easy baby and happy to just sit and watch and the family were all so helpful - both grandmas helped out so I could eat my meal.
when I was a baby I was taken to my aunts wedding where my mum was maid of honour, again about 4 months and I just fussed a lot so my dad saw none of the wedding as I had to be taken out the church, I’m not in any photos and I don’t think my dad had much of a meal afterwards as I was being walked around in my pram!
I think it’s a good idea to think about what your plan is as you and your husband cant leave the wedding to settle a baby and the person in charge has to be realistic that they might not see much of the wedding!

HillbillyBackstroke · 23/08/2025 07:27

I guess it depends what kind of baby you have. There’s certainly no way I would have been able to have a wedding with my baby at 4 months (I wouldn’t even have managed to attend anyone else’s).

Your baby may be an easy little unicorn baby but unlikely to be honest. What if they will only contact nap? What if they have colic or are teething or are poorly in any way? What if they’re just a baby who cries a lot and wants their mum?

Feeding - are you BF or FF? If BF then babies don’t really work to a schedule. They may need feeding during an important moment! You’ll need a dress that you can feed in and may leak on. I don’t know much about FF but there’s a lot of kit and prep involved in that too.

What would be the plan for the evening? Babies need to sleep in the same room as you for the first six months and I can’t imagine them sleeping well in a noisy wedding venue. You would also be feeding several times in the night.

It’s certainly not impossible but I can’t imagine it would be much fun for you or the baby

missrabbit1990 · 23/08/2025 07:31

If it’s unavoidable without losing lots of money then I’d go ahead with it— it will probably be fine. If it’s possible to postpone till the baby is 7-8 months old ish (so on some solid food etc) that may make things easier, especially if BF. But honestly I think it would be alright, but it depends how ‘perfect’ you want your wedding day to be and how formal the day is. It may be that flexibility is needed during the day.