My own wedding with a 4 month old

[AdeptBalonz]

Hello, we have just had the exciting news that we are expecting, in October 2025 but we are getting married in March 2026, has anyone got any advice on weddings with a 5 month old, or have been though similar experiences it would be greatly appreciated 😊

Guess it depends what kind of parent you are and how much you care about looking perfect all day without a baby on your hip. If it were me I’d have taken a few pics with my husband without the baby but would have mostly just had baby with me all day, so I don’t see why they’d be crying. But I never cared about having a picture perfect wedding.

Surely the DH or DW could have had the 8mo in a baby carrier and got on with their day.

I got married two months before my first baby was born. I wouldn't have wanted to be breastfeeding at my wedding. I have no regrets about being heavily pregnant on my wedding day. A friend of DH's got married later that same year but unlike us they waited until there baby was born then got married so they had a tiny baby in their wedding photos instead of a bump😂

And there’s not really an ideal option here tbh anyway. I got married when pregnant and it was fine but it’s not the same really when your feet ache from dancing more quickly, and you can’t drink a glass of champagne, and you have to get a dress that can accommodate a bump etc. so either way the wedding won’t be what you imagined necessarily so just do what you think will be best and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.

And I knew getting married heavily pregnant was the right decision because after dc1 came along I was exhausted with all the breastfeeding and sleepless nights. I wouldn't have enjoyed it at all. No thanks. Babies drain the life out of you😱

My SIL looked after my 3 month old and 3 year old including overnight. We stayed in hotel. It was her and my brothers wedding gift to us.

I expressed milk so they could. Though he got at least one BF on day. He is strangely pleased to have been born out of wedlock - and our vows included the kids. I think it's nice they were part of the wedding.

But DB and SIL offered. Wouldn't have occurred to me to ask.

As others have said, this age is a bit of a nightmare, I wouldn’t do it, I would postpone or bring forward!!

I wasn’t looking to be interrogated on my decision, I was just letting the OP know that I was in the same boat. Thanks for your kind and helpful response though.

I didn't read it as interrogation, rather discussing reality.

If you are planning to take time out to raise the child do not postpone, marriage is important for the less affluent person. (Normally the women as it is her career more likely to be affected.)

Cancel.

These are practical things to think about though so yes I was being helpful.

Personally I’d pull it forward to before baby arrives… or I guess push back to when they’re more like 10-12 months perhaps? Both my children have been objectively ‘good’ babies but 4-5 months is just a rubbish age really. Not generally, I adore them all the same but they hit that bloody sleep regression so you’re exhausted, they’ve got to the stage of not just sleeping through everything so naps can be tricky (and skipping them is a nightmare!), they get terribly distracted while breastfeeding, they’re still inclined to the occasional poonami so that’s guaranteed to happen on the day (sods law and all that), and if not that, puke… I just think it’ll be a lot of tired stress, which will detract from your happy day when you have the option of doing it differently.

Also, and this is a bit shallow, I never look worse than around 4-5 months PP. Tired, crap hair, crap skin, still a bit chunky… yknow.

I agree to an extent. But they DID want a picture perfect wedding and they didn't want ruined wedding dresses/suits. And neither of them ever did baby wearing so they weren't going to start on their wedding day I suppose. Also none of my babies would have been content to be stuck in a baby carrier all day long at 8mo. But at 4mo two of them probably would have been mostly ok with that - around the 12-15 breastfeeds the breastfed one would have wanted.

I also don't really see why you'd choose to have to carry a baby around in a carrier all day in your wedding dress and sit breastfeeding in it 12 times, and be falling apart with exhaustion come 9pm as you're up half the night with the baby - when the alternative is to marry earlier and not have to bother with any of that! It just seems like a no brainer to me really. It's not exactly a situation borne out of necessity.

Well I would imagine deposits etc have been paid at this point. Yes I suppose all babies are different. My baby didn’t crawl till 10 months so she’d be happy in a carrier looking around at 8 months. I’m not sure why a baby would ruin a wedding dress or suit, they aren’t that messy surely?

I actually think 12 months is a harder age as they will want to be moving about and less able to sleep wherever

Well, maybe. I can only speak for my own experiences, and would’ve found 12ish months infinitely easier.

Older again would’ve been ideal, but I expect saying to push it back 2-3 years may be a little much!!

Hmm... my own feeling after just getting wed with a toddler and a breastfeeding 8 month old in tow (very informal registry office do) is either bring the wedding way forward or, particularly if having a drink is important to you, postpone until such time as your baby is at least off the breast and will comfortably be looked after by someone else. Or, until your baby is a toddler (it's much easier). Don't get married with a four-month old unless you can be very flexible and allow things to revolve around them. A lot revolves around them at that stage!

Buying a wedding dress to wear four months postpartum may also not be entirely fun. I struggled massively at 8 months! If you're breastfeeding you'll need to consider access, and also potentially leaks that early on. If you have a c-section (or even if you don't) your body may still not be entirely comfortable to live in or recognisable to you.

It's a milestone day and you deserve to enjoy it and feel special. Ignore the martyrs out there saying the equivalent of 'I'd just throw on a sick-stained rag and soldier on.' A wedding isn't an endurance test or a time to virtue signal your good parenting. It's a legitimate time to prioritise your needs! It's just near impossible to do that with a baby so young.

Umm... childbirth and newborn stage being somewhat exhausting and unpredictable, you may also not be able to consummate on your wedding night! 😳😂My vote is to postpone at least a year if you can, when you'll have the mothering thing cracked😉

I thought I’d add a bit of closure here for those who might be facing the same decision. I mentioned earlier in the thread that we’d decided to go ahead with a wedding despite having a 17 week old baby. I had a fantastic day and have absolutely no regrets. Yes, it took a bit of extra logistical planning and preparation but having a baby did not get in the way of having an amazing day and she was the star of the show in the ceremony (one of my bridesmaids walked her down the aisle).

Here’s what I did to ensure a smooth day:

1. We hired a one-to-one nanny from The London Wedding Crèche. She was an angel sent from heaven and was the primary carer for our baby as soon as the ceremony finished until midnight. The venue provided a quieter room upstairs and we popped up every now and again to check on them. We introduced our baby to the nanny a few weeks in advance so they could get to know each other. She was amazing and kept us updated via WhatsApp so we knew the baby was content and ok. I spent most of the evening on the dance floor.
2. Our baby is exclusively fed with breastmilk so I expressed and stored LOTS of it in the freezer in advance. We transported this on ice to the venue and then it was stored in the fridge for the nanny to use as and when she needed it. I therefore didn’t need to feed all day so it didn’t affect my dress choice and I could have a couple of drinks (I decided not to pump all day and admittedly my boobs were absolutely gigantic and rock hard by the time I took my dress off! Somehow I didn’t notice this during the wedding).
3. I worked hard on my nutrition and exercise in the eight weeks leading up to the wedding day so I felt my best. Not saying you need to lose weight to get married - this was just my personal preference and I know might be important to others.
4. I bought my dress three weeks in advance from Wed2Be - this meant I had a good idea of what my body shape would be like on the day. The dresses there can be taken home the same day and mine only required minor adjustments which I got done locally by a seamstress.
5. While getting ready in the morning, I had a team of people to help. My bridesmaids took turns looking after her in the room (I was breastfeeding until we left for the ceremony) and their husbands were on hand to take the baby out in the pram when she was due a nap.
6. I just accepted being tired. The night before the wedding, the baby woke up every two hours and I had barely any sleep as I was awake thinking about the wedding. Honestly, the adrenaline gets you through and a good make up artist can work wonders!
7. We had a designated driver to take us back to the hotel with the baby after the wedding. We were by no means drunk (we had to look after the her that night so had to be sensible) but it meant we were free to have a couple of drinks with dinner.
8. We didn’t sweat the small stuff. I can see how easy it would be to he carried away when it comes to wedding planning but we just focused on making sure our guests were fed, watered and entertained. We didn’t add extra to our plates by worrying about things like favours or unnecessary details.

Would it have been easier without a baby? Of course. But if anyone is in the same boat and feeling anxious then I wanted to reassure you that it’s absolutely doable with lots of preparation. My only regret was not getting as much of the planning done as possible before the baby arrived! Staying on top of the wedmin with a two month old was the hardest bit.

If you’re facing the same situation then I hope you have an amazing wedding whenever you decide to do it.