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Original poster

No photos on social media

34 replies

misunderstood12 · 14/08/2024 23:40

Hi all

I'm looking for some honest opinions please.

My partner and myself are getting married soon and I have highlighted to him that I feel very uncomfortable people taking photos and putting them on social media. My partner doesn't agree and thinks that it's out of order to ask people not to take photos and post them on social media. I don't want certain people seeing the photos.

Opinions please

Thanks Smile

OP posts:
Newbie8918 · 14/08/2024 23:52

You can't control what other people post on social media.

I've been to a wedding where the couple asked us not to post anything until they had which I thought was reasonable. They did the following day and I noticed that others then followed.

Asking people to wait, is one thing but asking them not to post at all, seems controlling.

AliceMcK · 14/08/2024 23:54

I think it’s very common to ask guests not to take photos during the ceremony and not to post anything until after the bride and groom have. I’ve been to weddings like this. No photos full stop I’m not sure. I think it would be fine to ask for no photos during the ceremony and not to post until after the bride and groom post, then mabe say during speeches you’d prefer not to have anything posted of you and the groom on social media full stop. Maybe say happy for the guests to post pictures of themselves though.

Chocoholicnightmare · 14/08/2024 23:55

I think it's very poor etiquette when people go to weddings and post photos even before the end of the day. I went to a wedding recently and there was a note in the service booklet/announcement asking people to please not take photos during the ceremony as they had a photographer for that. They were obviously not clear enough, as someone put a photo on social media of the couple after the ceremony (still in the church, mingling with guests). Perhaps they should have been more specific: please do not take photos/post on social media. It is the prerogative of the couple to decide what to post/announce their special day (in my opinion). Good luck and I hope people respect your wishes.

ShamefulShona · 14/08/2024 23:57

I wouldn't like it! I wouldn't put a photo of myself on SM and it's horrible to think guests would just do that.

Chocoholicnightmare · 14/08/2024 23:57

Newbie8918 · 14/08/2024 23:52

You can't control what other people post on social media.

I've been to a wedding where the couple asked us not to post anything until they had which I thought was reasonable. They did the following day and I noticed that others then followed.

Asking people to wait, is one thing but asking them not to post at all, seems controlling.

Yes I agree with this- I meant to not post anything until the couple had.

Newbie8918 · 15/08/2024 00:02

@Chocoholicnightmare I agree. I feel like most people actually wait for the bride and groom to post first.

At our wedding, we just let everyone crack on and I must admit that some of the guest pictures were amazing. I just set my SM so no one could tag me until I approved the tag and decided to share.

HoHoHoliday · 15/08/2024 00:14

I am very private and protective over what I put online about myself, and for the same reason I don't put photos or anything online about someone else.

I think it's fine for your guests to put photos of themself online if that's their choice, but any photos or information involving you and your wedding should be kept private until you decide to share it yourself.

lovelysunshine22 · 15/08/2024 00:27

I think its weird and controlling to tell people not to post pictures on social media and lets be honest you can only request they don't but they don't have to listen!

ISpyWithMyLittleEyeSomethingBeginningWith · 15/08/2024 00:33

I don’t think you can stop people unfortunately.
I wish we could rewind time to the days before SM as I find it odd that people feel the need to put everything online, like they need to prove every move they make. It’s fine when they are just posting about themselves, but when it involves others against their wishes, then I find that quite bad. But you really can’t stop people.

mondaytosunday · 15/08/2024 01:11

I wouldn't dream of post inv photos of a person's wedding! Maybe a pic of me or a couple friends, but not the couple or other guests and the venue. It's not my occasion to share.

duckduckgo13 · 15/08/2024 07:20

Yeah you can’t do that. I find it very weird when people ask to not post pics before they do. Weird and controlling. Let people be

TayceOnToast · 15/08/2024 07:27

I’m confused why so many people see it as controlling to politely ask people to not post pictures of you on social media? It’s your face?? Am I missing something? Especially if you have a good reason for it. (I’m assuming this is a serious reason and not something petty otherwise OP wouldn’t be asking?) then again if it is a petty reason maybe you need to just get over it OP 😂

I agree with the suggestion of “allowing” people to post pics of themselves - people generally seem to use weddings as an excuse to do that anyway. Just be careful with the wording if you choose that route.

bergamotorange · 15/08/2024 07:38

It is absolutely fine to ask guests not to post any pictures of you. It is your wedding and only an absolute arsehole would ignore you.

And bollocks to those saying it is 'controlling' - they are being controlling by not respecting other people's preference not to be photographed for SM.

dailydoos · 15/08/2024 07:49

When we got married we were asked beforehand if we wanted the registrar to announce to our guests before the vows if we were allowing posts on social media and when/if our guest could post after the ceremony was done.

Unfortunately, they had witnessed more than one occasion of a guest uploading pictures to social media while the ceremony was still ongoing!

We don't engage in social media like FB/IG/X but a lot of our friends & families do.

None of them thought it was controlling or out of order to ask them to wait until the day was over. Everyone respected our decision and we were never told that anyone went against it.

We also have another reason as to why we don't want our location/faces/children seen on certain friends' SM posts. So there are many reasons people are against having guests jump straight to FB with a bunch of photos.

I do believe its become quite the norm to not post until then bride/groom does anyway.

IsometimeswonderwhoIam · 15/08/2024 07:58

Personally I would have little cards printed saying to guests please don't share any photos of the bride and groom on social media at all. You could say you're happy for them to post themselves at the wedding venue but not any of you or anything that would identify you in any way.

DoreenonTill8 · 15/08/2024 08:04

Agree with pp that absolutely the norm these days to request no photos of wedding party till later on, but photos of people/couples/groups you're not in?

Rainrainrainrainrainrainrain · 15/08/2024 08:29

duckduckgo13 · 15/08/2024 07:20

Yeah you can’t do that. I find it very weird when people ask to not post pics before they do. Weird and controlling. Let people be

Yes you can ask people not to post photos of your own wedding. It's a private function and the people who were kind enough to invite you don't want photos on SM.

Why would you go against their wishes?Why would you want to post photos of someone else's wedding anyway?

Sometimes it's ok to be "controlling".

dbeuowlxb173939 · 15/08/2024 09:24

It's poor etiquette to post anything before B&G have in my opinion, but people do it so I don't think it's unreasonable to request that they don't

Businesssecretsofthepharoahs · 15/08/2024 10:25

I went off on my honeymoon feeling beautiful and bridal, then came back down to earth with a bump when I saw dozens of terrible photos of me when I got home. I’m not at all photogenic, but they were really upsettingly bad. I didn’t want to be vain and ask for them to be removed so I left them up until a week later when a friend saw them and told me they were hideous and to ask to get them taken down immediately. It really took the shine off my wedding/honeymoon - I felt SO ugly.

My friends got married and asked for no social media pictures and everyone respected that.

Comedycook · 15/08/2024 10:29

I think that's a perfectly reasonable request. I wouldn't dream of posting pictures of someone else's wedding on sm.

Peonies12 · 15/08/2024 10:30

You can ask nicely. But I think if you have invited guests, it's a risk they won't comply, and in the grand scheme, it really doesn't matter. Don't have social media if you don't like it.

cestlavielife · 15/08/2024 10:31

A wedding is public.
The reception is private
www.theguardian.com/media/2003/feb/05/pressandpublishing.privacy?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Rainrainrainrainrainrainrain · 15/08/2024 16:43

Peonies12 · 15/08/2024 10:30

You can ask nicely. But I think if you have invited guests, it's a risk they won't comply, and in the grand scheme, it really doesn't matter. Don't have social media if you don't like it.

It might matter to other people

Chewbecca · 15/08/2024 16:46

Er, watch out for older people at your wedding, I had no idea it was poor etiquette and am now unsure if I have done this in the past or not 😮

duckduckgo13 · 16/08/2024 08:17

I’ve been to nine weddings — all of people in their mid to late twenties — in the last year, and none of them have had the “don’t post pics” rule tbh so maybe I’m just unaware. I do think it’s a bit strange.