Money gift - how much to give? Northern Ireland

[traintocatch]

Myself and DH are going to a colleague's wedding soon and have no idea how much is a reasonable gift. My DH is line manager to the groom and have worked together for about 6
years. We were thinking £300? Too much?

Is this from the whole team or just yourselves?

If yourselves £300 is far too much. £50-100 more appropriate.

Seems excessive tbh. £100 would be generous without being over the top

We are thinking only the restaurant is costing them £100. Where I come from we ensure we double the amount they spent on the restaurant costs nevemind everything else? £100 feels too low?

I'd give £60 for a colleague but appreciate in NI people are very generous when it comes to wedding gifts.

£300 seems an awful lot.

I'm in NI and it seems high unless everyone are very high earners. I would have thought £100

We are going to the whole wedding as a couple. We gave 50 for an evening attendance 12 years ago. We gave £200 for a similar wedding 10 years ago. £100 just seems very little considering their expense. Are we not supposed to help them out as they start this new life? That's what is like in our culture?

Older people in NI tend to be more generous with wedding gifts, it’s a cultural and generational thing. I married an Englishman and when we listed the presents (if we got a physical gift I wanted to reference it in the thank you note, plus there were a few who gave quite a lot who I wanted to say “you didn’t have to but really is much appreciated” as well) there was definitely a divide. If you’re in a position to afford it I’d say £200 would cover the meal and allow for a little bit extra, £300 is extremely generous. My own boss got us a painting which was about £250 a few years ago.

no way would I be giving 300 quid….way too much

I'm in Northern Ireland as well, but to be fair it's at least 5 years since I've been at a full day wedding. I understand your thinking, after reading your follow up. £300 still sounds like a lot, but I suppose I hadn't realised how much costs have risen. In that case, (and obviously you can afford it) go for it. I'm sure they will be delighted x

Thank you - this is helpful. I will ask around a few more people. Opinions are so split.... I think it should depend on relationship and affordability but very difficult to gauge... and don't want to be OTT.

Thabk you. What did you give 5 years ago? Similar circumstances?

I’m in NI. Whole day is generally 100-150quid (100 standard for a couple)
if you’re only going to the afters, then much less.

100-150 would be perfectly acceptable from a couple attending the whole day. I'm NI.

Be careful, you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

I'm in ROI and would give €300 per couple for a wedding now (so about £250) but customs vary and I'm not sure what's typical in NI.

From previous threads on here it seems people in GB give less than those in ROI. I'm not sure where NI stands - just be aware that the responses here will vary a lot depending on location. In this case I'd take advice mostly from those in NI. Enjoy the wedding!

I'm in NI. I would give £150 for a full day wedding as a couple or £75 for evening only.

I'm in N.Ireland we have been to 3 weddings this year I give £200 for one (I known the price was 53 per head) we have 300 for the other 2,this seemed to he the norm between my friends too.

If not too outing where is the wedding? £100 is far too low.

I got married in NI recently enough in a popular wedding venue - most NI people attending gave 100 a head as present. Some more if very close. Those from elsewhere differed (higher/lower/not at all)

This is very useful. Did your line manager attend? What did they give? Did you think it was reasonable?

Thank you - sounds much more reasonable than £100 per couple.

Thank you, I guess wouldn't differ too much. Starting to think £300 is reasonable after all.

@traintocatch yes they did but from ROI and other own. They gave 150e

On THEIR own - sorry!

And yes I did think it was reasonable - generous to be honest. I know some people read this thinking gosh weddings are mad over there but it's just the norm isn't it and you don't want to appear tight by not giving the norm. I think 100stg pp is an accurate amount. If I was going to ROI I would give 150e pp. I would increase it if it was a close family member or close friend.

That seems a lot. We used to give £50 for friends and £100 for closer friends and family. But recently, I've just given £100 for any of the weddings we've been to as I felt £50 seemed a bit on the low side