Mother In Law said wedding photos weren't worth the money

[HHall19]

I have a question about my mother in law's reaction to our wedding photos. We received them back and me and my husband absolutely loved them and sent the link to our family and friends. Everybody came back and commented on how lovely, beautiful they were but my mother in law was silent (which was very strange as she was saying how she was looking forward to them and she had definitely seen the message!). It had been a few days and my husband was on the phone to her (on speaker phone) and he asked her if she'd had a look at the pictures and what she said has really annoyed me! She said that they weren't worth the money and was really negative about them. I think she expected more of her and their side but to me there were lots of them and obviously me and my husband were in the majority as it was our wedding. We got lots of natural ones including her and got the main family portrait ones so I don't know what her issue is. I just find it extremely rude that she said they weren't worth the money plus didn't even say anything when we sent them, we had to ask her. I just find it odd as she's the mother of the Groom. Am I overthinking this or is it right to feel irritated?

Strange reaction, what does your DH say about it? Quite hurtful really but shrug it off OP. Do you normally get on ok or is she like this about a lot of things.

When I compare my wedding photos (1996) to recent ones, I think they are fab now. Mine are dreary group photos facing the camera, way too staged, whereas they seem to have natural ones now, people having fun, laughing.

Yeah weird and rude
Even if she didn't like how she looked in them, that's not what was being asked
She could have said literally anything, however vague, like "ah they bring it all back" or "you looked so beautiful in your dress" or "I love the one where you're walking down the aisle" or "everyone looks so happy" or "yes they are lovely we were so lucky with the weather" or something!

There must have been one photo she liked in there even if she wasn't in it!

It's just rude to be unnecessarily negative - she didn't pay for the photographer so she didn't lose out in any way, shape or form.

It was bloody rude of her but she's obviously got some beef about the photos, or maybe the wedding in general. Perhaps she felt marginalised. Could it be that the photos are "too modern" for her taste? Wedding photos have moved very far from the old traditional sort.

This.

sounds like she kept her opinion to herself until asked. I’m a firm believer if you don’t want somebody’s opinion, don’t ask! Or do ask questions if you don’t want to know the answers.

We eloped & only told bil & his dw as they came with us. But we did book a small photographic package. MiL was very "cat's bum faced" when she saw the photos. We offered to pay for her choice, framed. She chose the photo of just dh & bil. So we also gave her another one of us . She kept the frame & replaced the photo!

Don't over think it. It was your wedding, your choice & you love your photos.

Any future derogatory comments just reply with Well we love them - then change the subject.

If you paid for them then just say ‘we love them, suppose it’s not to everyone’s tastes’ then get a MASSIVE framed one as a gift for her Christmas/birthday 😏

She is very rude, and you and your Dh are happy with them, that's all that matters.
This has also reminded me to go back and look at Ds and Dil online wedding pics so I can order some. Thanks. Nice pictures ordered.

If someone said this to me at the time I'd have been really annoyed but now I'd probably think they're right. I wouldn't have spent as much with hindsight. Maybe she thinks they're nice but the photographer was expensive?

You and your DH love them. That’s what matters. It’s not worth making it ‘thing’ by trying to figure out what bothered her. Perfectly nice people can have weird reactions to things from time to time.

Do you have the same style and taste as your MiL?

Maybes she just didn't like them, said nothing out of politeness but when pushed didn't lie?

Well, she doesn't have to buy any! But that doesn't affect you- you can buy as many as you want. Just ignore her.

unless you ask her directly what makes her say that, you would only assuming. It’s not something you can fix so I’d just forget about it and if you’re happy with them then that’s what matters.

I just find it extremely rude that she said they weren't worth the money plus didn't even say anything when we sent them, we had to ask her. I just find it odd as she's the mother of the Groom. Am I overthinking this or is it right to feel irritated?

To be fair, she didn't say anything, but your dh pressed her for an opinion.
Yes, in an ideal world she could have been more tactful, using some of @easylikeasundaymorn 's suggestions, or, you and your dh could have just not backed her into a corner by asking her what she thought.

I mean, she's got a point - wedding photography prices are ridiculous, however beautiful the photos are.

Omg - MIL’s - absolute nightmares. My MIL stole our photographer for whichever relatives she wanted photos off - you wouldn’t even know my poor wonderful mum & dad paid for half of the wedding. Husbands will never defend their wives or children against overbearing MIL’s 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Unless this is part of a longer pattern of behaviour, I'd let it slide. Don't press someone for their opinion unless you can handle an honest answer.

@SarahMClark that's something you ought to have taken up with your photographer. Mil should never have been in a position to commandeer them because the photographer was working for you and you should have made it clear what you wanted from them. I'd expect a professional photographer to be able to resist overbearing relatives!

OP, imo the photographer has a responsibility to make everyone look good in the photos provided, to take flattering shots where no one looks awful. If your photographer didn't do this and has sent you pics where mil (or other guests)sliding look their best. I think it's reasonable for her to consider them not worth the money.
Also she didn't make a thing of it and only gave her opinion when pressed. I don't think she should have to lie - if you truly want her opinion, then respect it. Or don't ask.
It's a shame she wasn't keen but if you like them, that's what matters.

@CoffeeBeansGalore OMG! Your MIL is ghastly! What did your DH say?

Sounds like she did not like the style of photos. I am just curious. Was she aware that she was on speaker and that you were listening?

@Slugsandsnailsresidehere He just eyerolled. We got a lot of grief over eloping & couldn't be bothered to argue.
I was young & she thought I could be steamrollered.
To be fair he pulled her up if she ever bad mouthed me. Ended up pointing out he would back me every time & she would lose him if she carried on.
It was definitely a strained relationship.