Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Weddings

Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.

Original poster

Mother In Law said wedding photos weren't worth the money

44 replies

HHall19 · 14/07/2024 22:49

I have a question about my mother in law's reaction to our wedding photos. We received them back and me and my husband absolutely loved them and sent the link to our family and friends. Everybody came back and commented on how lovely, beautiful they were but my mother in law was silent (which was very strange as she was saying how she was looking forward to them and she had definitely seen the message!). It had been a few days and my husband was on the phone to her (on speaker phone) and he asked her if she'd had a look at the pictures and what she said has really annoyed me! She said that they weren't worth the money and was really negative about them. I think she expected more of her and their side but to me there were lots of them and obviously me and my husband were in the majority as it was our wedding. We got lots of natural ones including her and got the main family portrait ones so I don't know what her issue is. I just find it extremely rude that she said they weren't worth the money plus didn't even say anything when we sent them, we had to ask her. I just find it odd as she's the mother of the Groom. Am I overthinking this or is it right to feel irritated?

OP posts:
spicysamosahotcupoftea · 14/07/2024 23:11

I guess I'd be a little irritated.

Have you had any printed?

I'd be inclined to not print any of her (unless you're in them) and if she gets upset tell her you didn't buy them because she said they're not worth it!

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 23:38

She could be acting like this for any number of reasons. Maybe she doesn't like how she looks in them. You love them so that's all that counts. Congratulations on your wedding.

MissingKitty · 14/07/2024 23:40

How much did they cost?

fourelementary · 14/07/2024 23:41

Is she being expected to pay for her photos?

Ozanj · 14/07/2024 23:41

Did she pay or part pay for them? If yes I would expect her to be able to choose more photos of her / dh side if she wanted them.

RampantIvy · 14/07/2024 23:42

Did she pay for them?

If not she has no right to decide if they were worth the money or not.

RawBloomers · 14/07/2024 23:47

Unless she has form for being negative about you/your relationship with her son I'd put this down to her disliking the way she looks in the photo. It's still graceless of her but socially a lot of people, especially women, feel huge pressure about the way they look and appear in media. Many seem to be completely unable to look past that single point when it comes to photos.

JC03745 · 14/07/2024 23:48

Do we have the same MIL? 🤔
Did you and DH pay for your own photos/wedding etc? She sounds rude and entitled.

Lavender14 · 14/07/2024 23:51

I think people can have very different tastes when it comes to things like wedding photography. For example she might prefer more staged photos if your photographer went for a more candid approach.

I would just let it flow over you, if you like them that's all that matters. They aren't her photos at the end of the day. Sad that some people haven't learnt that if you have nothing nice to say just say nothing.

Catnipcupcakes · 14/07/2024 23:51

Rude.

I expect she doesn’t like the way she looks in them. Not your problem. If you’re happy with the photographer’s work that’s all that matters.

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 14/07/2024 23:54

Well everyone's got an opinion.

To be honest though she didn't come at you with it, she did wait to be asked her feelings on them and she answered truthfully.
Although I've seen some awful wedding pictures and have just ooooed and ahhhed and said the how lovely.

Her opinion doesn't change anything so just let it roll.

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 14/07/2024 23:54

I would only have photos printed that don't include her. It's a very subtle message to the rude madam!

EurJumper · 15/07/2024 00:14

She probably thought the photographer would make everyone (but mostly her) look like they were in OK Magazine and is disappointed by the style of the photos. Do they capture her a bit too 'naturally' OP?

Either way, don't let her ruin the photos for you. If you like them that's all that matters. She's rude. I'd keep her at arms length.

Precipice · 15/07/2024 00:19

You're overthinking.

Maybe she just thought they weren't so great compared to normal photos that average non-professionals take and was expecting something else.

Don't worry about her not liking the photos. Do you and your husband like the photos? It matters whether the two of you liked them, not whether family members or other guests did. She doesn't have to like them. Stop talking to her about the photos.

saraclara · 15/07/2024 00:21

I've lied so often about stuff like this. She's been honest, at least. Did you want her to lie?

DaftyLass · 15/07/2024 00:24

Two things....if you don't have anything nice to say, you are meant to not say anything, which is what your MIL chose to do.
If she went around being vocal to everyone about how she didn't like it , I could see being upset, but she had been keeping it to herself.
Second, if she isn't paying, she doesn't need to worry about the value of them.

Biggleslefae · 15/07/2024 00:33

I think you need to 'match her energy' OP, in other words do it back to her. So (just like she did) don't be polite, come out and say it eg:
'that dress makes you look [appropriate insult]'
'well I wouldn't have paid that much for [new thing that she is pleased with]'
etc.

Regalia · 15/07/2024 00:34

My MIL was incandescent about the photos of a recent family wedding — they were black and white reportage style, mostly ‘candid’ shots. I thought they were skilful and beautiful, but MIL thinks wedding photos need to involve large, posed groups (everyone on steps of church, groom’s side, bride’s side, bride and groom lined up symmetrically with bridesmaids and groomsmen etc etc), and that they were robbed.

saraclara · 15/07/2024 00:36

Biggleslefae · 15/07/2024 00:33

I think you need to 'match her energy' OP, in other words do it back to her. So (just like she did) don't be polite, come out and say it eg:
'that dress makes you look [appropriate insult]'
'well I wouldn't have paid that much for [new thing that she is pleased with]'
etc.

That kind of revenge will only work if you've had the opportunity to give your opinion before, kept it back for days, but we're finally forced into a corner when you had to say what you thought.

Saying, when pushed, that she didn't like something, is hardly a mortal sin requiring revenge.

Biggleslefae · 15/07/2024 00:41

saraclara · 15/07/2024 00:36

That kind of revenge will only work if you've had the opportunity to give your opinion before, kept it back for days, but we're finally forced into a corner when you had to say what you thought.

Saying, when pushed, that she didn't like something, is hardly a mortal sin requiring revenge.

Edited
Show quote history

Honestly, I think you're over thinking it.

Original poster
HHall19 · 15/07/2024 08:41

Thank you for all of your responses! Me and my parents actually paid for the photographer which is why I'm even more annoyed! Also, in the morning of the wedding the photographer was there whilst the bridal party were getting ready (which is normal) so that's probably why it looks like there's more of my family. I do think she didn't like herself in them but as you say that's not really my problem. It just makes me think her reaction is a bit odd and not normal for a MIL, she should be happy for us.

OP posts:
Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 15/07/2024 10:13

Next time she mentions it you could just throw in 'I'm not surprised you don't like them, hardly flattering for you!' See what she has to say about that 😂

Sillystrumpet · 15/07/2024 10:20

HHall19 · 15/07/2024 08:41

Thank you for all of your responses! Me and my parents actually paid for the photographer which is why I'm even more annoyed! Also, in the morning of the wedding the photographer was there whilst the bridal party were getting ready (which is normal) so that's probably why it looks like there's more of my family. I do think she didn't like herself in them but as you say that's not really my problem. It just makes me think her reaction is a bit odd and not normal for a MIL, she should be happy for us.

Edited

I’m sure she is happy for you getting married, I am sure she doesn’t mean she should be happy for you for your wedding photos, that’s kinda weird.

she doesn’t like herself on the pics, try not to overthink it or take it to heart. Sure she should have been nice and said what everyone else said.

Nap1983 · 15/07/2024 10:26

She shouldn't have said it, but going by the price of weddings these days its probably true. I have been horrified at the cost of weddings ive recently heard about from colleagues. As long as you are happy thats all that matters.

Regalia · 15/07/2024 10:30

Sillystrumpet · 15/07/2024 10:20

I’m sure she is happy for you getting married, I am sure she doesn’t mean she should be happy for you for your wedding photos, that’s kinda weird.

she doesn’t like herself on the pics, try not to overthink it or take it to heart. Sure she should have been nice and said what everyone else said.

Show quote history

Yes, this. Though she simply didn’t comment on them when she saw them, so it’s possible the irritable remark was only made in relation to her son quizzing her on what she thought. I’m sure she is happy you got married, unless there’s a backstory you haven’t mentioned, but her only faux pas as far as I can see is failing to come out with a polite lie about your photos.