So, partner and I discussed marriage after a year together so we knew our general time line and plans. We both knew it wasn’t an engagement to be married at that point, just deciding our future. I then assumed a proposal would follow shortly as he was excited about the prospect. I patiently waited and didn’t let it hang on my mind as I wasn’t in a rush to be married.
A year later without a ring I asked when he thinks we’ll get married and his response was the following year. He wanted to propose traditionally and then get married very quickly after. He didn’t ask what I wanted and I admit it got to me slightly. I wasn’t too fussed by his time line but Our original time line was to be married within 2 years, it’s now 2.5 years in and he ‘ruined my surprise’ by telling me he is proposing on Valentine’s Day and booked a surprise wedding date for June.
I admit I was childish in telling him that because he didn’t stick to our original time line I feel it’s too late as he made me wait longer for no reason at all then took away the excitement. I’m not sure why I’m hurt by it, I’m not the sort of person to want a big fuss or brag about a ring, nothing like that at all, I just wanted us to stick within our timeline and be married now.
He’s apologised and said he wants to bring the wedding forward and skip the proposal if it makes me feel more secure. I don’t know what to say or do now. I ruined the moment by kicking off, but also I feel justified in the fact I shouldn’t have had to wait on his terms.
If you were in my shoes WWYD? Skip the proposal and get married or stick to my childish outburst that I won’t marry him out of principal? I know 2.5 years isn’t a huge wait, for some it’s too soon, but for us we didn’t want to wait more than 2 years before he took control.
Sad thing is I’d love to experience a down on one knee proposal even though it isn’t the be all and end all. Did anyone else go through similar? I know marriages aren’t like in the movies but the build up has lost the magic for me since he gave away the plans and left me unsure. Our relationship is otherwise great.