How on earth does anyone afford to get married?

[Orangetattoo]

Apparently the average cost of a UK wedding is £20,000!

I have no experience with these things, does this sound about right?

Venues alone start at £3,500.

This just seems totally impossible.

Anyone know of any much, much cheaper weddings?

I did my wedding at a beautiful venue 2 years ago for £6000. I limited guests to 20 and did many things myself. There are lots of ways to save money if you want to

Weddings cost what you’re willing to spend on them.

A register office mid week early morning ceremony will be much cheaper than a civil ceremony on a Saturday at a hotel.

Some religious venues will marry you for free / small donation if you can’t afford to marry.

You only need 2 witnesses so any guests beyond that are a bonus.

Small wedding
registry office
lunch for 25
no crazy spend on decorations and flowers
no bridesmaids or grooms
no hen or stag do
photographer half day only

i loved my wedding, big weddings are often boring and I didn’t want to pay for 30-50 relatives that I never see all year long (from different country). Plus they would have to spend lots on travel.

I got married in a registry office with 2 witnesses for less than £100. Then had a party a month later in a pub for hire with a free bar up to £200 and did our own catering buffet style for about 80 people, cost about £1000 all in but there was a minimum spend once the free bar ran out of £300, it was easily met. Other friends of mine have done registry offices for 20-odd family members and then dinner out or parties (birthday style, you say wedding and the prices ramp up!). On the other hand I have friends/ family who have spent £50k+ on venues, dresses, the full works. I guess it just depends on what you want and can afford or choose to spend money on. I wouldn't in a million years have wanted some of the weddings I've attended and they obviously wouldn't have wanted mine! It's not really different to choosing to buy a new/ fast car or go on an expensive holiday or go to a spa or anything else, for some it'll be affordable and worth it and to others it'll be unaffordable or not worth it.

Signed at the registry and had a pub lunch after!

Registry office and pub lunch, that's what we had

Registry office and lunch with family here too. It was very cheap. DH and I didn’t want to waste money. Also 20 years ago, house prices aren’t so expensive and you can use that money for a house deposit. Seems foolish to me to blow it at a party instead of getting a house.

I did everything for just under 10k a couple of years ago. I had a smallish wedding (COVID times) and didn't bother with the non essential crap like sweety tables, favours, photo booths etc. And I could have done it way cheaper as well. Other things like getting married midweek in winter can make it a lot cheaper! But ultimately the more people invited the more drinks/food/chairs/bigger cake etc.

Gretna green

That sounds almost perfect to me. It was a long time ago but my wedding cost £200 plus the cost of the register office, a simple bouquet, and my dress, which cost £15 from the local Indian hippy style boutique.

”they” are talking about the expensive parties. Not the wedding. No one has to be traditional or get sucked in to spending money to that expense to get married.

Most people we know had family help or took out a loan.

I wouldn’t get into debt for a wedding but I know a lot of people who have.

There are some beautiful Register Offices and beautiful pubs in which to have a long lunch. It can be done for a few hundred quid.

You don't need dress up costumes, daft cars, awful 'Reality TV' styling, ice cream carts - and no-one needs to be 'in the wedding' like it's an experimental matinee production at the Old Vic.

Honestly, the weddings I’ve really enjoyed haven’t been the £30k + ones, where it’s a bit soulless and £9 for 1 gin and Tonic, but the ones that were more basic but we were fed well with a free bar.
The best was a bbq buffet in my friend’s garden, she did a mega buffet and free booze all night, we had a blast!
The expensive ones? Forgettable to be honest!

I should have been more worried about the divorce afterwards! My wedding cost £13.5k 15 years ago. The divorce cost me more than that.

We planned and booked a church wedding with a village hall reception for 120 people which came to £6K total in 2020. Then covid hit so we scrapped the reception altogether and had 30 guests at our church ceremony, which with clothes, photographer and local-ish honeymoon cost us ~£2K.

I appreciate prices have risen since then, but you can do it as cheap as you like. I just attended a wedding yesterday that cost the couple even less than our original plan did and it was a lovely time. Very cheap and cheerful, but lovely nonetheless.

It depends what the important things are to you.

I wanted to be married, I didnt want a wedding.

Getting married is you and partner making a legal commitment to spending your life together in front or a suitably certified person and signing a contract to that effect.

A wedding is a party that can be as big or small as you can afford, and want it to be.

Because we didn't want the party we went to the travel agents and booked a week in vegas, flights and hotel came to just under £1500 (17 years ago). Then we went home and booked our wedding online for $120.

Get married at a registry office, then have the party at a local pub or village hall. Costs very little.

Depends if you're talking about a wedding or an extravagant party.

"Average" doesn't mean that's what everyone spends, it's a midpoint. It also doesn't mean it's what you have to spend.

Nephew went to a friend's wedding, all in hotel. Asked about packages as was looking to book theirs. Friend's package in July was £8000. Exact same package in December between Christmas & New year £4000.

weve been to a few registry office and room hired in a pub. They are cheap enough

Had a small wedding at the registry office, mid-week afternoon with close family only. Very affordable and a lovely afternoon. We did not want to spend money on a lavish wedding as the marriage itself was more important to us and we would rather put money towards other things like repairs in the house etc

How on earth does anyone afford to get married?

Same as different people afford all sorts of things.

Some people do it very cheaply.
Some people are gifted the money / have things paid for by family
Some people save for a long time
Some people borrow
Some people get paid a lot of money
Some people are independently wealthy - so may earn an ordinary salary but don't pay a mortgage or rent
There are probably all sorts of combination of ways.

We get married in 4 weeks and all in will be costing us £6k

We have chosen a lovely local hotel for ceremony and reception. We could have spent much less but chose to hire some basic decor and pay for drinks etc we didn't need to.

Just because people spent a lot on average doesn't mean that's the only option.

We got married in church and had a party at the local club. All in all, 2.5k max. Don't mention "wedding" when ordering a cake. 🤣
I think there's a difference between just wanting to be married and wanting the big day.